Eerie (36 page)

Asher sighed heavily, whirled around, and cupped her face in his hands.

“You won't be cold with me,” he said tenderly, and some of her anxiety abated. He didn't
sound
angry, but if he had seen her kissing Fin . . .

She swallowed hard. He slid his fingertips from her chin, down the sides of her neck across her shoulders and down the length of her arms. Taking her hands, he gazed into her eyes and walking backwards, led her outside.

Hailey braced for the bite of Alaska's winter, but Asher was right. Somehow, he was shielding her from the icy wind. It was quite comfortable inside his warmth-bubble.

“Look, Asher . . .” She wanted to tell him that she was in love with Fin, that she wanted nothing to do with Cobon's plan, that she was angry at him for showing up late, though that seemed petty compared to having one's soul ripped out—but her thoughts jumbled and bounced around in her head, and after what she just saw Fin doing with Adelaide . . . and his hateful tone . . .

Breathe
.

And Fin had dismissed her so coldly, she wasn't even sure he felt the same anymore . . .or if he ever did feel the same. Plus, Asher might kill her, and she hesitated.

“What is it?” he said very tenderly.

She looked at her hands.

“Thank you for the beautiful dress.”

Fear-one, courage-zero.

“The beauty of the dress pales in comparison to the angel wearing it.” He sounded exasperated. Then he tilted his head, his eyes igniting into a firestorm, and his mouth twisting into a scowl. Yep, he was angry. “What are you doing, Hailey?” he said bitterly. “I saw you kissing him,” he accused, his voice slow. “You promised me there was nothing serious between you and Pádraig.” He leaned close to her and whispered, “Do you have any idea what I do to students who lie to me?”

Hailey gasped, her heart quickened.
Was that a threat?

Jaycen
 . . . Unwittingly, her thoughts turned to the southern belle, who was still writhing in agony inside a steel cage in the White Forest with nothing but the sub-zero wind chill to keep her company. Never had Asher spoken to Hailey with such animosity, and for a beat, she wondered if he might tie her soul. Her throat tightened, her eyes went wide, and she instinctively took a retreating step back. She didn't know what to say and stood locked in his intense gaze while her brain floundered and her heart rose in her throat. He stared and squinted, but then his brow knitted together. And she knew in that instant that he—the all-powerful Envoy—was hurting.
She
had hurt
him
, very deeply she'd hurt him, and her heart shriveled.

Asher looked away. He must've seen her remorse and taken pity on her, because when he looked back his eyes were soft.

“He's not the gallant knight you think he is, my dear.” He stroked her cheek as he said it. “He will hurt you.”

“Well, he never threatened to rip my soul out,” she whispered, blinking back tears. “Where have you been anyway? With Cobon?” She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand.

Asher closed his eyes and inhaled loudly. “I only want to rescue you,” he told her apologetically. “I know I've been neglecting you—forgive me, please. And no, I haven't spoken to Cobon for quite some time.”

What was he doing? His voice was kind. He was staring at her with those gorgeous eyes, full of adoration and heat. Not an hour ago, she'd decided he was a hideous monster, and now . . .

Hailey trembled and not from the cold. The intensity, the electricity between them sent a shiver down her back, and she raised her shoulders against it.

“Are you cold?” Asher seemed perplexed.

“No,” she said, unable to look at him. She could feel her cheeks flush. Asher regarded her curiously for a moment, then without warning, he grabbed her shoulders and shoved her against the wall next to the door. Grasping her chin with one hand and wrapping the other around her waist, he pressed his mouth to hers, hard and hungry. His lips molded to hers, and she kissed him back, running her fingers through his silky hair and melting into him as he pressed the full length of his body against her. This was what she wanted. This was what she craved—love, passion—from the one creature that could rescue her from a fate worse than death.

Oh, it was heaven! He held her there, kissing, caressing for minutes, hours, maybe. She didn't know. She didn't care. She didn't want him to stop.

Fin who?

When he was finished, he held her close. “It upsets me to see another touching you,” he breathed against her lips, still caressing the back of her head. He leaned back and flashed his eyes at her. “You belong to me. Do you understand?”

Hailey blinked rapidly, unable to find her voice.

“Answer me,” he commanded, grasping her hair and pulling so hard it hurt.

“Yes,” Hailey squeaked, her eyes wide, and she was trembling again, this time from sheer terror.

“Yes, what, Hailey? I want you to say it.”

Hailey blinked again. What the hell was happening?

“Yes, Asher. I belong to you,” she said obediently, and he sighed deeply, releasing her head and rubbing it gently.

“Will you tell me why you think I have a soul?”

She didn't feel like chatting with him anymore. She wondered how fast she could run in her new heels. But wrestling her sudden urge to flee was her paralyzing terror and the realization that—there was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. Plus, she was still sort of reeling from his kiss and needed a moment to slow her breathing before she could even begin to feel ashamed for wanting him to kiss her again. And right now, she couldn't sort ANY of this out, because he wanted an answer.

“What do you mean?” she asked, searching his violet eyes. “You have a soul . . . I've seen it in my dreams.”

“I don't have a soul, Hailey,” he said. “Envoys are pure energy.”

“I think you're wrong, Asher. I think you know you're wrong. I think you know you have a soul, but you don't want to admit it. Maybe that's why the Envoys are going mad?” She emphasized the word “mad” maybe a little too much and had to recover. “You wouldn't be able to love me if you didn't have a soul.”

She wasn't sure what he was feeling really qualified as love, but she was floundering and suddenly wishing she was safe with Fin again . . . at the cabin . . . tucked in his arms...

Asher's eyes calmed down, but he didn't step back. He still had her pinned to the wall.

“I do love you, Hailey,” he murmured. “I've tried to be patient with you, but I can no longer tolerate seeing another put his hands on you.” His voice was gentle, and Hailey's blood pressure came down. A little. “And I believe I've frightened you. Am I right?”

“Yes,” she breathed.

Now she couldn't hold back her tears, and they gushed forth. Asher brought his lips to her cheeks and kissed each teardrop as it escaped her eye.

“Forgive me.” He was doing it again. Gazing at her with those hypnotic eyes.

“Asher, I'm sorry,” she sobbed.

“For what?” He asked between kisses.

His heat against her face was divine. This was a new side to her monster she'd never experienced before. He was sensual . . .and loving.

“For disappointing you,” she whispered. Suddenly, she felt horribly guilty for kissing Fin when all this time Asher was protecting her, waiting for her.

He kissed her left eyelid then her right and ran his thumb along her jawline. Then he kissed her lips again, unleashing his warmth inside her mouth.

Was he giving her another gift? Invading her mind?

Oh, hell. She didn't care.

She grabbed two fistfuls of his luxurious hair and pulled him into her. He responded by pressing her into the wall, and once again she was putty in his arms.

“Shall we dance?” he asked in his smooth, seductive voice, and Hailey had to get her bearings. She wasn't sure she could stand on her own after that kiss, let alone dance.

“Okay,” she breathed.

“I'm going to let go of you now, Hailey,” he whispered to her ear. “You're trembling. Can you stand?”

She nodded, but as soon as he let her go, her legs crumpled, and he caught her again.

She clutched his white shirt and willed her legs to stand. “I did that on purpose,” she said with a soft giggle, “so you'd hold me tight again.”

But the Envoy wasn't amused.

Envoys don't laugh
. Fin's voice rang inside her head.

Chapter Thirty-Eight

Torn

“We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance.”

- Japanese Proverb

Asher stepped away and held his hand out to her like a perfect gentleman. “Let's have that dance, my dear.”

She took his hand. What choice did she have?

“I wish you could laugh,” she said almost to herself, but a slight turn of his head let her know he'd heard.

As he led her across the room, she noticed many turned to look at them. The girls of Bear Towne seemed enchanted by Asher's charm, but their dates sure weren't. The non-humans, of course, avoided him, and the entire hall was a mix of disgust, worry, and adoration.

Asher swooped across the floor, holding her tight, making it easy for her to follow. The dim light, the poignant melody of the strings, the heat from his body, the feel of his hand against her bare back—skin to skin—it was intoxicating. He was so strong, so powerful, and she felt safe with him as she glided across the room.

As the music reached a crescendo, he pulled her tight against his body and kissed her slowly, deliberately, his fingers trailing tickles across her back, and she was lost to the world, lost to him. The music, the lights—they were dizzying. She badly needed a break, needed to catch her breath.

Before she could ask him, Asher was leading her back to the table.

“Giselle.” He nodded curtly, and she nervously flicked her eyes at him then back to the floor. “You're looking well.”

Giselle lifted her whole head to look at him, her entire face lit up.

“Thank you, Asher,” she said, and her mouth twitched in a small grin.

“I think you're the most beautiful woman in the world,” David gushed with an almost pleading voice. If he was trying to win a smile from the banshee too, it worked. She even blushed. Then she cleared her throat.

“Hailey,” she barked. “I need to speak to you about physical love in the ladies' room.”

David spit his drink across the table.

Giselle grabbed Hailey by the arm, shot a begging glance at Asher, who nodded his permission, and she pulled Hailey into the antler-less moose room.

Oh, thank goodness
. Hailey's head was swimming; her heart was in a twist. She didn't know which way was up, and she needed some time away from Asher to pull herself together. And Giselle wanted to talk about physical love . . .? With her . . .?

“Giselle, I'm not Dr. Ruth,” said Hailey as soon as the door closed.

“Don't be stupid. I wouldn't ask you for advice on love.” She scowled, looking over her shoulder. “I dragged you in here, because . . .” She looked over her shoulder again and whispered, “Asher is losing his mind.”

“What?”

“He loves you.”

“That makes him crazy?”

“Yes!” she hissed, pulling Hailey into a corner. “Envoys don't love. They don't romance, and they certainly don't kiss and caress and cuddle like he was doing on the dance floor.” Her expression was grave. “You're in trouble. If he senses that you're rejecting him, he'll rip you apart.”

That explained a lot. The Earth swayed under Hailey's feet, and she swallowed hard. Maybe it was wrong, but she liked crazy Asher and his un-Envoy-like romantic tendencies. And she hadn't planned on rejecting him.
Well, not anymore.

“It doesn't matter if you
plan
on rejecting him.”

That was so annoying—Giselle and her banshee-mind-reading thing.

“It's what he thinks is happening,” she continued speaking so quietly, Hailey had to strain to hear her. “And as he spirals further into insanity, he'll go totally Cobon batshit crazy.”

Cobon.
Could she never escape him?

“You need to be careful,” she whispered. “And stay the hell away from Pádraig. Asher's jealous of the affection you show him. Plus he's an asshole.”

Two giggling girls burst into the bathroom.

“We'd better get back,” said Giselle.

“Asher had to go,” David informed the girls when they returned, and Hailey blew a sigh of relief.

She instinctively glanced around the room in search of him, catching instead an eyeful of something that turned her stomach.

There in the middle of the dance floor was Fin. With Adelaide. And Hailey stared in disbelief as he stood under the mooseltoe and laid a long, drawn-out kiss on his tall, busty, blonde bombshell date who seemed elated to be stuck to the most handsome man on campus—okay, second-most handsome man. But then, Asher wasn't really a man.

And Hailey really had no right to be jealous, not after her dance with Asher . . .

But Fin was kissing her again!

Hailey's stomach tightened, even though she “belonged” to Asher. How could Fin kiss that girl after all those things he'd said to her? She wondered if she was even human.

“Giselle, what is that girl?” She pointed to Adelaide. “A succubus?” she guessed. She had to be some kind of demon.

“No. She's just a skank,” Giselle said. “Told you his love wouldn't last. Put him out of your head, Hailey,” she advised with sad eyes.

It was good to have a friend. But Hailey didn't want Fin out of her head, which was beginning to pound. She shouldn't feel wounded by his behavior. Really—how could she condemn him after the heated moments she'd just shared with Asher?

Hypocrite
, she muttered inside her head. Would she even care what Fin was doing if Asher hadn't left her?

Yes
.

Fin paraded Adelaide across the floor, laughing and kissing and seemingly unaffected by any lover's quandary, and certainly not one that scattered his thoughts and squeezed his heart.

He was kissing her again...with his tongue? Oh, no! No, he definitely was
not
mired in uncertainty. It seemed he was making Hailey's decision for her.

And if so, there was nothing left to do but say goodbye. She had to. And not just because she was angry . . .and hurt . . .and not good enough for him . . .

It would protect him from Asher's jealousy. She was doing this for the right reason.

All those things he'd said . . .'I'm going to marry you'—my ass
 . . . Hailey sighed and pushed her bitter thoughts aside. As soon as he was alone, she'd just amicably tell him goodnight and goodbye.

There.

Simple.

It shouldn't feel like a confrontation. It wasn't like he was her
boyfriend
or anything, so she wasn't breaking up with him. The thought made her sad. She wanted him to be her boyfriend.

His kisses, his promises... His lies.
If she kept this train of thought, she might be angry enough to do this without crying. Or too angry to do it without crying.
Crap
.

There it was. Adelaide excused herself to the no-antlers room, and Hailey bolted upright and strode in his direction. She had her courage and her anger balled up in her stomach, spurring her on. But angry-marching in high heels was a bad idea, and right about the time Fin noticed her approach, right about two paces away from him, her right foot slipped out from under her, and down she went.

Giselle rushed to help her up. Fin just stood there, glaring down at her and looking like he'd just stepped in something squishy.

“Maybe you should stick to flats, little girl,” he said in a voice so disparaging, it cut straight to her heart. Hailey rubbed her elbow, which bore the brunt of her fall.

“Why are you being so mean?” she squeaked. That was not what she wanted to say.

“Well, you keep following me around for starters, and you just won't take a hint.” His voice was harsh. His eyes were harsh. And she was not following him around.
A hint? What the—? She'd better just get this over with.

She mustered her friendly voice. “Look, Fin, I—”

“—and my name is Pádraig,” he said scornfully.

She waited to see him crack his sarcastic, playful smile.

But he didn't.

“What's the matter with you?” she asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

He cocked his head to the side and stuck his jaw out. “I can't do this anymore, Hailey.” His voice was low and honest.

“Can't do what?”

“This big-brother-looking-after-you thing. It's just not me. It was fun almost getting into your pants, but frankly . . .” He ran his hand through his hair. “I'm bored with you...with this whole situation. And it's irritating when you follow me around.”

Bored with me?
Oh, no! Is that what he was trying to tell her on the dance floor? And she blew it off. Was that his hint? And now she was following him around? Her heart raced in her chest as fast as the self-deprecating thoughts ran through her head.

He was scowling down at her. And he'd just made this a lot easier.

“Well that's fine, because I was just coming to tell you—”

“Stop following me around, Hailey,” he spat in a loud voice. Several heads turned in their direction. “Stop showing up at my door . . .throwing yourself at me. It's annoying.”

Total shock stole her voice, and she could feel her face flush.

“I'll never be your boyfriend, alright?”

Hailey shook her head in surprised confusion. “Why are you saying these things?”
Cobon! Cobon wanted him to hurt her.
She wondered if this was just Envoy shenanigans, but he certainly didn't look hypnotized—in fact, he rolled his eyes at her.

“Look, I had to get close to you after Holly croaked.”

Croaked?
The air in the room was too heavy to breathe. She blinked rapidly, trying to keep her angry veneer in place for just a few seconds longer.

“I got you here, I gained your trust, I seduced you, and you were eating out of my hand. But now the Envoys have a different plan for you. So, I don't have to keep up this charade any longer.”

“That's not funny, Fin,” Hailey was holding it together, but just barely.

She had to open her eyes wide to keep the tears in.

He
was the one who said they'd figure things out together.
He
had told her he'd help her escape the ripping-out-of-the-soul, temporary death thing. And now he was abandoning her to Cobon's plan.

“You're really freaking me out,” she managed between shallow hitching breaths.

“Wait a minute,” he said with an arrogant laugh. “You didn't honestly believe I wanted to marry you . . .”

She blanched.

He gasped. “You did!” He stepped back and clapped his hands together loudly as he laughed at her. Her eyes shot left and right as a gradual hush fell over the hall. “You rise to a whole new level of pathetic,” he said loud enough for everyone on the dance floor to hear. “I can't believe you fell for that!” he yelled at her.

She flinched, letting two large drops fall from her eyes, and the whole hall turned to see what was happening. Then he poked her in the forehead.

“Get it through your head, little girl—I'm done with you. You're a weeping cesspool,” he muttered. His voice was cold and certain, his eyes frigid, and now Adelaide was coming back. Fin offered his elbow to her.

“Hello my dear,” he said, his voice switched back to its smooth, sincere, heart-throb magic.

He didn't even glance back at Hailey as he swaggered away.

She stood gaping after them, shell-shocked, humiliated, and completely hollow.

“Don't feel bad, Hailey,” said Sidney, who appeared at her side. “Pádraig does this to every girl he sleeps with.”

Hailey continued staring after Fin.

“And that's a lot of girls,” Sidney continued. “You get lonely, you can always call me.”

“Stop trying to make me feel better, Sidney, I did not sleep with him.” Well, actually she did, but not how Sidney meant it. She tore her eyes away from the corner Fin just rounded to stare daggers at Sidney. “And I will
not
be calling you.”

Giselle was still at her side.

“Told you,” she said softly, gloomily. “He's an asshole.” She threw her arm around Hailey and hugged her stiffly. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” she whispered.

Hailey shook her head as her eyes welled again. Her whole body trembled.

“At least Asher didn't stand you up.”

“Yeah.”

Giselle was trying to make her feel better, but she'd heard everything Fin said, and she knew it cut to Hailey's heart.

“Giselle, I'm going to walk home now,” she told her in a half whisper. Her feet carried her to the exit, but she couldn't feel the floor under them.

Without getting her coat, she threw open the door and stepped outside. The cold sucked what little breath she had left out of her lungs, and she welcomed the sting of negative ten degree wind on her bare skin. Something to distract her from the ache in her chest.

Giselle ran to catch up, throwing a coat over Hailey's shoulders. She didn't say a word as they made their way to the dorm.

With only a few steps to go, Giselle froze in place, and Hailey followed her stare to entryway, where Asher stood waiting. He opened the door.

“Giselle, would you excuse us?” he asked, indicating her inside.

“Hailey.” Asher turned his penetrating gaze to her, and his expression relaxed. There it was again: abject adoration. She bowed her head. He was looking at her like she was the only person on Earth.

She loved it. And hated it. No matter what he said next, she'd want him to kiss her. Actually, he didn't need to say anything else.

“Walk with me to the gazebo.” He held his hand out, and she took it.

“Why did you leave?” Her voice was flat.

“Why did you stay?”

He pulled her hand so that she ambled closer to him. Then he wrapped his arm around her.

“I wanted to say goodbye to Fin,” she said, her lip trembling, and he stopped mid-stride.