Eggs Benedict Arnold (32 page)

They pounded down the
th
ree steps onto a brown lawn
that was more hardpan than grass.

But they weren
’
t fast enough.

One man came thundering out the front door, another man barreled out a side door they hadn
’
t noticed before. Not only were they trapped like rats, but front-door guy carried a gun!

“
Who are you?
”
demanded the guy with the gun. He
was in his late twenties, wearing jeans and a dirty Pantera
T-shirt.

Suzanne slid to a stop. Toni bumped hard against her.
“
Uh ... is
th
is where the party is?
”
asked Suzanne. She tried to still her wildly beating heart and sound upbeat and a little coy, too. Slightly flirtatious.

That stopped the two guys dead.
“
Party?
”
said the one
in the dirty T-shirt. He lowered his gun slightly.
“
You know
anything about that, Eel?
”

Eel, who wasn
’
t much of a prize in his rumpled blue
shirt and grey sweatpants, leered at Toni.
“
Can
’
t say
’
s I do,
Lenny.
”

“
Sure,
”
said Toni, grinning like a maniac, picking up on
Suzanne
’
s ruse immediately.
“
We were just tipping back a
few beers at Hoobly’s and heard a rumor about a party out
here.”
“
No party,
”
said Eel. He sounded a little wistful.

“
Okay then,
”
said Suzanne, backing away.
“
Wrong
house. Sorry about this, guys. We sure didn
’
t mean to barge
in on you, uninvited.
”

“
Maybe some other time,
”
added Toni.

“
Not so fast, snoopy lady,
”
said Lenny. He waggled his
gun, a gray, snub-nosed revolver, directly in Suzanne
’
s face.

“
Hey,
”
said Suzanne,
“
do you guys know a fellow named
Bo, by any chance?
”
She sounded far bolder than she felt. If she could put together a connection here ...

Eel gaped at her.
“
Who?
”
There wasn
’
t the slightest bit of recognition in his voice.
“
Don
’
t know who you
’
re talking about, lady.
”

“
Man,
”
said Toni, giving a goofy smile and smacking her palm against her forehead,
“
we really got our signals crossed. Crazy us, huh?
”
Again she and Suzanne tried to pull away.

Lenny moved to block
th
em again.
“
No,
”
he said, and this time he sounded decidedly thoughtful,
“
something
’
s going on here.
”

Eel frowned.
“
You think they
’
re ... like ... DEA?
”

DEA,
thought Suzanne, that
’
s
Drug Enforcement Admin
istration. These guys do have something to do with drugs.

“
Nothin
’
like that,
”
Lenny said slowly,
“
but we gotta think this through. We can
’
t just let
‘
em waltz out of here scot-free.
”

“
What do you wanna do with
‘
em?
”
asked Eel, as Toni threw him a hopeful smile.

“
Lock
‘
em in the barn for now,
”
said Lenny.
‘
Till I make
a couple of phone calls and figure this out.
”

* * *

“
I
’
m
gonna kill Junior when I get my hands on him,
”
snarled
Suzanne. She was perched on a hay bale in the dusty, dimly
lit barn.
“
I don
’
t know what Junior
’
s up to with those two assholes, but something illegal
’
s going on!
”

“
Stand in line,
”
said Toni, pacing back and forth.
“
Because I guarantee there won
’
t be anything left of Junior except
scraps
when I get through with him!
”

“
Gonna run him through the meat grinder,
”
growled Su
zanne.
“
Then fry his skinny butt.
”

Toni let loose a deep sigh.
“
Look,
”
she said.
“
I
’
m really sorry about this. Since
I
was the birdbrain who got us into
this.
”

“
Why did we leave our cell phones in the car?
”
see
th
ed
Suzanne.

“
Cause we didn
’
t count on getting caught,
”
said Toni.
“
That stupid Junior!
”
She scuffed at the dirt with the toe of her boot.

“
If it wasn
’
t for his crappy, shady dealings, we wouldn
’
t
have followed him out here,
”
grumped Suzanne.
“
Wouldn
’
t
be locked inside this
stupid
barn!
”
She stood up, walked a few paces, then kicked the barn door for good measure.
“
Ouch!
”

“
The thing is,
”
said Toni, as Suzanne hopped around on
one foot,
“
what are we gonna do now?
”

Suzanne limped back to her hay bale, plopped herself down, and stu
died
their surroundings.
“
Well,
”
she said fi
nally,
“
it
’
s a frigging barn, not a cement block prison with
razor wire strung around it. There
’
s a hayloft upstairs, so
maybe we can climb that stupid ladder over there and jump
out a window or something.
”

“
And break a hip?
”
said Toni.
“
We
’
re not getting any
younger.

Bone loss starts as early as your forties, you know.
”

“
Please,
”
said Suzanne.
“
Don
’
t remind me.
”

Toni plunked her bottom down on a hay bale as well, put her chin in her hand, thinking. Minutes passed. Then
Toni said,
“
Was that guy
’
s name really Eel? Did I hear that
correctly?
”

“
Eel and Lenny,
”
said Suzanne.
“
Some tag team, huh?
”

“
Yeah,
”
muttered Toni. She turned up the collar on her
jacket.
“
Cold in here.
”

“
Gonna get colder,
”
said Suzanne.
“
And more dangerous once those guys come back for us.
”

“
Then we gotta figure a way out,
”
said Toni. She stretched
her legs out, staring morosely at her cowboy boots.

“
You hear something?
”
Suzanne asked. She cocked her
head, frowned.

“
No.
”

“
Because I
’
d swear there was a distinct rustling coming
from that far corner.
”

“
Maybe ... mice?
”
proposed Toni.

“
Pretty big mice,
”
said Suzanne. She got to her feet,
brushed off her bottom, then crept over to the corner of the
barn.
“
Oh man!
”
she said.

Toni came over, curious now.
“
What?
”

“
Animals,
”
said Suzanne, pointing at two stalls.
“
Two goats and a mule.
”

“
Say now,
”
said Toni,
“
we could always get some goat
’
s
milk if we
’
re thirsty. That could help with our bone loss, too.
”

“
As long as one of them is female,
”
said Suzanne.

“
Oh,
”
said Toni, peering speculatively at the underside of one of the goats.
“
Good point.
”

“
So how can we put these critters to good use?
”
wondered Suzanne.

“
What if we got the goats to head butt the door?
”
asked
Toni.

“
It
’
s a pretty big door,
”
mused Suzanne.
“
And awfully small goats.
”

“
Okay then,
”
said Toni, determinedly,
“
what if we used
the mule to kick down the door?
”

“
Interesting idea,
”
said Suzanne. She didn
’
t know much
about mules except that they were half horse and half don
key. And even though she wasn
’
t familiar with donkeys,
she knew how hard a horse could kick. Had experienced it
firsthand
a few times.

But getting a mule to kick down a barn door turned out
to be a lot harder than it sounded.

“
Backing up this mule is like trying to back up a dump truck,
”
complained Toni. She was hanging on for dear life
from
th
e big mule
’
s halter.
“
This guy is ginormous and I can
’
t seem to find reverse.
”

“
Just keep backing him up,
”
urged Suzanne, patting the
mule on the flanks, trying to urge him backward with gen
tle pats and kind words.