Authors: Rainbow Rowell
just know that I need to see you.
Like this.’
‘I’m not even allowed to talk
to boys.’
‘Until when?’
‘I don’t know, never. This is
one of those things that doesn’t
make sense. My mom doesn’t
want to do anything that could
possibly irritate my stepfather.
And my stepfather gets off on
being mean. Especially to me. He
hates me.’
‘Why?’
‘Because I hate him.’
‘Why?’
She wanted, badly, to change
the subject, but she didn’t.
‘Because he’s a bad person.
Just … trust me. He’s the kind of
bad that tries to kill anything
good. If he knew about you, he’d
do whatever he could to take you
away from me.’
‘He can’t take me away from
you,’ Park said.
Sure he can, she thought. ‘He
can take
me
away from
you
,’ she
said. ‘The last time he got really
mad at me, he kicked me out and
didn’t let me come home for a
year.’
‘Jesus.’
‘Yeah.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Don’t be sorry,’ she said.
‘Just don’t tempt him.’
‘We
could
meet
at
the
playground.’
‘My siblings would turn me
in.’
‘We could meet somewhere
else.’
‘Where?’
‘Here,’ he said. ‘You could
come here.’
‘What would your parents
say?’
‘It’s nice to meet you, Eleanor,
would you like to stay for dinner?’
She laughed. She wanted to
say it wouldn’t work, but maybe it
would. Maybe.
‘Are you sure you want them
to meet me?’ she asked.
‘Yes,’
he
said.
‘I
want
everyone to meet you. You’re my
favorite person of all time.’
He kept making her feel like it
was safe to smile. ‘I don’t want to
embarrass you …’ she said.
‘You couldn’t.’
Headlights shot across the
living room.
‘Damn,’ she said. ‘I think my
dad’s home.’ She got up and
looked out the window. Her dad
and Donna were getting out of the
Karmann Ghia. Donna’s hair was
a mess.
‘Damn, damn, damn,’ she
said. ‘I never said why I like you,
and now I have to go.’
‘That’s okay,’ he said.
‘It’s because you’re kind,’ she
said. ‘And because you get all my
jokes …’
‘Okay,’ he laughed.
‘And you’re smarter than I
am.’
‘I am not.’
‘And
you
look
like
a
protagonist.’ She was talking as
fast as she could think. ‘You look
like the person who wins in the
end. You’re so pretty, and so
good. You have magic eyes,’ she
whispered. ‘And you make me
feel like a cannibal.’
‘You’re crazy.’
‘I have to go.’ She leaned over
so the receiver was close to the
base.
‘Eleanor – wait,’ Park said.
She could hear her dad in the
kitchen
and
her
heartbeat
everywhere.
‘Eleanor – wait –
I love you
.’
‘Eleanor?’
her
dad
was
standing in the doorway. He was
being quiet, in case she was
asleep. She hung up the phone
and pretended that she was.
CHAPTER 20
Eleanor
The next day was a blur.
Her dad complained that she’d
eaten all the yogurt.
‘I didn’t eat it, I gave it to
Matt.’
Her dad only had seven dollars
in his wallet, so that’s what he
gave her. When he was ready to
take her home, she said she had to
go the bathroom. She went up to
the hall closet, found three brand
new toothbrushes and shoved
them into the front of her pants,
along with a bar of Dove soap.
Donna might have seen her (she
was right there in the bedroom),
but she didn’t say anything.
Eleanor felt sorry for Donna.
Her dad never laughed at anyone’s
jokes but his own.
When her dad dropped Eleanor
off at her house, all the little kids
ran out to see him. He gave them
rides around the neighborhood in
his new car.
Eleanor wished she had a
phone to call the cops. ‘There’s a
guy driving around the Flats with
a bunch of kids hanging out of a
convertible. I’m pretty sure none
of them have seat belts on and that
he’s been drinking Scotch all
morning. Oh, and while you’re
here, there’s another guy in the
backyard smoking hash.
In a
school zone
.’
When their dad finally left,
Mouse couldn’t stop talking about
him. After a few hours, Richie
told everybody to put their coats
on. ‘We’re going to a movie,’ he
said, looking right at Eleanor. ‘All
of us.’
Eleanor and the little kids
climbed into the back of the truck
and huddled against the cab,
making faces at the baby, who got
to sit inside. Richie drove down
Park’s street on the way out of the
neighborhood, but Park wasn’t
outside, thank God. Of course,
Tina
and
her
Neanderthal
boyfriend were out. Eleanor didn’t
even try to duck. What was the
point? Steve whistled at her.
It was snowing on the way
home from the movie. (
Short
Circuit
.) Richie drove slow, which
meant that even more snow fell on
them, but at least nobody flew out
of the truck.
Huh, Eleanor thought. I’m not
fantasizing about being thrown
from a moving vehicle. Weird.
When they drove by Park’s
house again in the dark, she
wondered which window was his.
Park
He regretted saying it. Not because
it wasn’t true. He loved her. Of
course he did. There was no other
way to explain … everything Park
felt.
But he hadn’t meant to tell her
like that. So soon. And over the
phone. Especially knowing how
she felt about
Romeo and Juliet
.
Park was waiting for his little
brother to change clothes. Every
Sunday, they got dressed up, in
nice pants and sweaters, and had
dinner with their grandparents.
But Josh was playing Super Mario
and wouldn’t turn it off. (He was
about to get to the infinity turtle
for the first time.)
‘I’m going over,’ Park yelled
to his parents. ‘I’ll see you there.’
He ran across the yard because
he didn’t feel like putting on a
coat.
His
grandparents’
house
smelled
like
chicken-fried
chicken. His grandma only had
four Sunday dinners in her
repertoire – chicken-fried chicken,
chicken-fried steak, pot roast and
corned beef – but they were all
good.
His grandpa was watching TV
in the living room. Park stopped
to give him half a hug, then went
into the kitchen and hugged his
grandma. She was so small, even
Park towered over her. All the
women in his family were tiny,
and all the men were huge. Only
Park’s DNA had missed the
memo. Maybe the Korean genes
scrambled everything.
That didn’t explain Josh’s
hugeness, though. Josh looked
like the Korean genes had skipped
him altogether. His eyes were
brown and just barely almondy –
almond-flavored. And his hair
was dark, but not even close to
black. Josh looked like a big
German or Polish kid whose eyes
kind of crinkled when he smiled.
Their
grandmother
looked
nothing but Irish. Or maybe Park
only
thought
that
because
everyone in his dad’s family made
such a big deal about being Irish.
Park got a ‘Kiss Me, I’m Irish’ T-
shirt every year for Christmas.
He set his grandparents’ table
without being asked, because it
had always been his job. When his
mom got there, he hung out in the
kitchen with her and his grandma,
and listened to them gossip about
the neighbors.
‘I heard from Jamie that Park’s
going steady with one of those
kids who live over with Richie
Trout,’ his grandma said.
It shouldn’t surprise Park that
his dad had already told his
grandma. His dad could never
keep a secret.
‘Everybody
talking
about
Park’s girlfriend,’ his mom said,
‘except for Park.’
‘I heard she’s a redhead,’ his
grandma said.
Park pretended to read the
newspaper. ‘You shouldn’t listen
to gossip, Grandma.’
‘Well, I wouldn’t have to,’ his
grandma said, ‘if you’d just
introduce us to her.’
He rolled his eyes. Which
made him think of Eleanor. Which
almost made him feel like telling
them about her, just so he’d have
a reason to say her name.
‘Well, my heart goes out to
any child living in that house,’ his
grandma said. ‘That Trout boy has
never been any good. He smashed
out our mailbox while your dad
was in the service. I know it was
him because he was the only one
in the neighborhood with an El
Camino. He grew up in that little
house, you know, until his parents
moved someplace even more
redneck than here. Wyoming, I
think it was. They probably
moved to get away from him.’
‘Tishhhh,’ his mom said.
Grandma was a little sharp for his
mom’s taste sometimes.
‘We thought he’d moved out
west, too,’ she said, ‘but now he’s
back with an older wife who
looks like a movie star and a
whole house full of redheaded
stepchildren.
Gil
told
your
grandpa that they’ve got a big old
dog living there, too. I never …’
Park felt like he should defend
Eleanor. But he wasn’t sure how.
‘It doesn’t surprise me that
you have a thing for redheads,’ his
grandma said. ‘Your grandfather
was in love with a redhead. Lucky
for me, she wouldn’t have
anything to do with him.’
What
would
Park’s
grandmother say if he did
introduce her to Eleanor? What
would she say to the neighbors?
And what would his mother
say?
He watched his mom mash
potatoes with a masher as big as
her arm. She was wearing
stonewashed jeans and a pink V-
neck sweater, with fringed leather
boots. There was a gold angel
charm hanging around her neck
and gold crosses hanging from her
ears. She’d be the most popular
girl on the bus. He couldn’t
imagine her living anywhere but
here.
Eleanor
She’d never lied to her mother.
Not about anything important,
anyway. But on Sunday night,
while Richie was at the bar,
Eleanor told her mom that she
might go over to a friend’s house
after school the next day.
‘Who’s that?’ her mom asked.
‘Tina,’ Eleanor said. It was the
first name she thought of. ‘She
lives in the neighborhood.’
Her mom was distracted.
Richie was late, and his steak was
drying out in the oven. If she took
it out, he’d be pissed that it was
cold. But if she left it in, he’d be
pissed that it was tough.
‘Okay,’ she said. ‘I’m glad
you’re finally making friends.’
CHAPTER 21
Eleanor
Would he look different?
Now that she knew that he
loved her? (Or that he
had
loved
her, at least for a minute or two on
Friday night. At least enough to
say so.) Would he look different?
Would he look away?
He did look different. More
beautiful than ever. When she got
on the bus, Park was sitting tall in
the seat, so she could see him. (Or
maybe so that he could see her.)
And when he let her into the seat,
he sat back down again against