Electronic Gags (24 page)

Brandon
Ward began a secret campaign to educate the war veterans about their plight. He
formed a secret organization called Veterans’ Voice together with other
disgruntled war veterans. The organization infiltrated all major war veterans
associations in the country, recruiting Gulf war veterans.

Ward
knew he had to rise in rank in order to have more influence. He entered the
Second Gulf War as a lieutenant colonel and left as a colonel. His courage and
discipline during the war impressed all his immediate superiors. No one
begrudged him his promotion to colonel.

Back
home, his secret organization was busy recruiting. From its onset, the
Veterans’ Voice never planned to take over power. They only wanted to force the
government to address their concerns. Under Brandon Ward’s command, the
organization hatched a daring plan to steal hydrogen bombs from Minot Air Force
Base in North Dakota. The group wanted to use the warheads to force the
government to withdraw US forces from Afghanistan. The plan was to set up a
launching site inside the United States and protect the site with civilian
hostages. Once the site was established, the organization would then announce its
demands to the government, threatening to blow up targets inside the US if the
government failed to meet the demands. They managed to steal nine nuclear
warheads and loaded them on a plane but they abandoned the plan when the authorities
discovered the theft. The plane was found at Barksdale Air Force Base in
Louisiana with three warheads missing.

The
popularity of the Veterans’ Voice among soldiers rose when it mobilized more
than one hundred of its members to demonstrate against the Afghan war at a NATO
summit in Chicago. The angry war veterans made headlines when they threw away
their war medals in front of the bemused delegates.

The
membership of the Veterans’ Voice skyrocketed during the occupation of Iraq and
Afghanistan. The United States was spending hundreds of millions of dollars of
taxpayers’ money every day in Afghanistan whilst the US economy was falling. Americans
were disappointed to watch the government slash social programs whilst it
splashed American money and American blood in foreign lands. US unemployment
rate increased, tuitions rose and the number of homeless people rose.

Colonel
Brandon Ward and his organization closely monitored everything, waiting for the
opportunity to strike. When the Occupy Wall Street movement started, most of
Ward’s comrades in the Veterans’ Voice thought it was time to stage a mutiny
but Ward stopped them. He knew the time was not yet ripe.

When
the Defense Department proposed an overhaul of the military retirement system
as a measure to reduce the national debt, Brandon Ward and his comrades knew it
was time to strike. The government had used them and now it wanted to take away
their pensions. “If the politicians want to reduce government spending, they must
withdraw our forces from abroad,” Ward told his comrades. “They cannot tinker
with the century old US military pension.”

Rage
surged through the ranks of serving and retired soldiers when Congress passed
the bill that slashed military pensions. Announcing the government’s decision
to slash the pensions, the president urged soldiers to sacrifice for the good
of the country as they did in wartime. Some war veterans tried to fight the
government through the courts but Brandon Ward and his organization had other
ideas.

Their
cue came when the public began demonstrations protesting the rising
unemployment and the yawning gap between the rich and the poor. The protesters
expected resistance from law-enforcement agencies as had happened during the
Occupy Wall Street protests, but they were surprised to see uniformed soldiers
joining the protests. The soldiers held banners demanding the withdrawal of US
forces from abroad. The soldiers were so many that the military police was
powerless to stop them. Emboldened by the growing number of soldiers in the
protest, Brandon Ward had an interview on TV, calling on the government to stop
wasting taxpayers’ money on foreign expeditions. The taxpayers were suffering
economic hardships, he said, and the government had no right taking their money
abroad. Brandon Ward immediately became the most popular man in the United
States.

The
following day, overzealous members of Brandon Ward’s organization stormed the
White House and abducted the president and his wife before abducting members of
the National Security Council, Homeland Security Council, Joint Chiefs of
Staff, Cabinet and Congress. It was like a scene from West Africa. The Veterans
Voice asked Brandon Ward to take over the leadership of the country, which he
reluctantly did. He began to enjoy the media coverage that came with his role
as the man who had led a coup in the most unlikely of places.

Surrounded
by armed bodyguards, he made speeches promising to withdraw US forces from
foreign lands, reverse changes in military pensions and call for elections
within two years. He had a close shave with death when a sniper’s bullet grazed
him. The assassination attempt increased his popularity. He believed the sniper
had come from either the CIA or the FBI. He was wrong. The sniper was a Mossad
agent trying to stop the withdrawal of US forces from the Middle East.

Brandon
Ward ordered the withdrawal of US forces from abroad. All US forces immediately
began to withdraw from foreign territories with the exception of the forces in
Qatar, Saudi Arabia and Germany. The US commanders in these countries said they
didn’t recognize Brandon Ward as their commander-in-chief. However, homesick US
soldiers in the three countries mutinied against the commanders, forcing the
withdrawal. Brandon Ward also closed Guantanamo Bay. Growing in diplomacy, Ward
said he didn’t have anything against the countries from which he had withdrawn
American forces. He was doing so because the American people could no longer
afford to pay for the overseas deployments.

The
Veterans’ Voices renamed itself the National Party. Following his party’s advice,
Brandon Ward closed the pentagon and turned it into one of the largest shopping
malls in the world. It became the most popular shopping mall in the United States.
People got a kick out of shopping in the former headquarters of the world’s
biggest military organization. He also turned the white house into a museum. At
the White House’s gate, the National Party erected a sign that read: THIS IS
THE ENTRANCE TO THE BUILDING THAT HOUSED THE MEN WHO RUINED THIS COUNTRY FOR
THE SAKE OF SELF-AGRANDISEMENT. After disbanding the CIA and the FBI, Brandon
Ward formed the CIB.

European
countries withdrew from NATO. The UK and France tried to use their veto power
to oust the United States from the Security Council but Russia and China blocked
the move, giving Brandon Ward UN veto power. In the UN General Assembly,
Brandon Ward got overwhelming support from the hundred and twenty members of
the Non-aligned Movement, who saw the coup as a blow to US hegemony. The non-aligned
countries said Western countries had to recognize the Ward regime just as they recognized
many Third World governments that had come into power by force.

Countries
such as Saudi Arabia, Israel, Turkey and Bahrain, which had enjoyed US military
protection for decades, panicked and began to buy hoards of weapons from the
new American regime to protect themselves against hostile neighbors. During the
first year of Brandon Ward’s rule, American weapon sales multiplied by seven,
bringing much needed money into the government coffers.

To
show the world that he was forging a new foreign policy, Brandon Ward invited
Cuba’s President for a state visit to the United States. Sitting next to Raul
Castro, President Ward officially announced the end of US sanctions against
Cuba and told the world that the USA had stopped meddling in the internal
affairs of other countries. The USA’s meddlesome foreign policy had given China
the upper hand in the competition for Third World natural resources. The USA
had lost to China in the oil sector in Angola, in the mining sector in Zimbabwe
and in several other African countries because the countries preferred to do
business with countries that respected their sovereignty. With Ward in power,
the USA increased its investments in the Third World. The Brandon regime
secured investments in Algerian natural gas, Zimbabwean diamonds, Angolan oil,
Equatorial Guinean oil, Venezuelan oil, among many investments in traditionally
hostile countries.

Freed
from the gigantic overseas military bill, and buoyed by the huge arms sales and
new investments abroad, the US economy grew. Brandon Ward’s popularity soared among
the poor and he became addicted to power. He wanted to be the world’s most
powerful man for the rest of his life.

Although
the American people were happy with the economic growth, many of them,
especially the middle class and the rich, didn’t like the Ward regime and said
that the regime’s existence was against the American dream. They would only
recognize a government that had they elected in free and fair elections. When
this part of the population, which Brandon Ward called American dreamers,
staged demonstrations his regime, Brandon Ward knew he had to tighten his grip
on power to avoid an ‘Arab Spring.’ He banned all political activity, renamed
the country and changed its currency. In face of increasing criticism from the
local media, Brandon Ward closed private newspapers and private broadcasters. When
cell network providers began to send anti-government messages to their clients,
Brandon Ward closed all cell network companies and formed the Ten Districts
Communications.

“Darling,
are you awake,” Cassandra’s voice removed Brandon Ward from his walk down the
memory lane.

“What
did you say?” he asked.

“What
are you thinking about?” Cassandra asked, drawing close to him, hoping he would
manage another erection and bone her to the Promised Land.

“I
was thinking about my past,” he said.

* * * * *

Kyle returned after just over an hour.
After triumphantly showing Freddie and Jennifer the tickets and the program, he
removed the NAST casing.

“How much did the tickets cost?” Freddie
asked.

“Thirty lucres each.”

“It’s cheap considering what we will
gain if we accomplish our mission,” Jennifer said.

“Sixty lucres is not a big price to pay
for Ward’s head,” Freddie agreed. “The awards ceremony is starting at two
o’clock, so we should be at the conference centre before half past one so that
we can choose a good seat.”

“I am a sharpshooter,” Jennifer boasted.
“I can shoot Ward from anywhere in the conference centre.”

“I know,” Freddie said. “But we must
avoid being over confident. We need a seat near policemen so that when Kyle
shocks them we can take their guns and shoot Ward.”

“You must repeatedly shock the
servicemen for twelve seconds at a time. If you deduct a cent from their
accounts, they get a shock of about six seconds, so you must deduct two cents
from their accounts. You can give them five seconds of breathing space between
the shocks.”

“Do you think twelve seconds will be
enough?” Jennifer asked.

“I’m worried that longer periods may
result in ventricular fibrillation and death. The last thing we want is a
massacre.”

“Let’s increase the shock interval to eighteen
seconds,” Jennifer said. “We have to make sure. There is no room for error.”

“You are right,” Kyle said. “I vote for eighteen
seconds.”

“Okay then, eighteen seconds it is,” Freddie
said, hoping they would not massacre the servicemen. “You will deduct three
cents from their accounts.”

“How will I know it’s time to shock the
servicemen?” Kyle asked.

“Good question,” Freddie said. “I will
beep you on your cell phone. Right now I have no cell phone. I have to get a
phone.”

“We can borrow Aunt Melissa’s phone,” Kyle
suggested. “People aren’t using phones these days. They prefer NASTs.”

“That will do,” Freddie said. “But don’t
tell her why you want the phone. We don’t want her to get hysterical.”

“I won’t tell.”

“I’m going to Aunt Melissa’s to get you
the phone,” Kyle said keenly.

“Don’t you need a little rest?” Jennifer
asked.

“I will rest when I come back.”

“Kyle, please don’t talk about me with mom,”
Freddie cautioned.

“We will use notes as usual,” Kyle said,
taking a pen and a notebook from his desk.

“That is the safe way… When you come
back, I want us to play Super Death Race.”

Kyle’s eyes widened. “You want to play
my game?”

“Yes. Now that we have everything we
need for our plan, we have time to play Super Death Race. I can’t wait to beat
you to your own game.”

“That’s impossible.”

“We shall see.”

Kyle put on Freddie’s NAST casing and left
for his aunt’s house.

* * * * *

When Professor Reed arrived home, he
went straight to his study, opened his laptop and played the audio files from
his flash disk. None of the recordings was useful. These people either knew
nothing about Freddie and Jennifer’s whereabouts or they were deliberately
avoiding talking about the two fugitives. Throughout the day there had been
many red alerts in the NASP computer hall but none of them pointed to the
fugitives.