Eluded (28 page)

Henry moved out of the apartment
where we had lived before London. My parents paid the rent, not
wanting to give up the search for me. I was grateful they believed
I would return, and here I was, in the flesh, proving them
right.

All furniture, mail . . .
everything was exactly how we left it. Well, other than Henry's
personal belongings being gone. The faint smell of him still
lingered in each room. As I sat in the living room where he
proposed, I knew that I didn't want to stay there. Being home,
being in that apartment, didn't feel right at all, but it was
either that or move in with my parents. There were too many demons
to fight, and I felt being alone would help me conquer
them.

The suitcase sat by the door for a
week, and I needed to unpack it. When I unzipped the font flap, I
saw a worn copy of
The Complete Works of Shakespeare
on top.
The rough texture of the leather felt nice in my hands. I ran my
fingers across the gold letters on the front cover, and when I
opened it, a single sheet of paper fell into my lap. My heart
dropped in my chest as I opened the letter.

Sometimes in life, you meet people
that change you when the goal was to change them. I won't lie,
Lauren, you've made me feel things in the past few weeks that I
haven't felt in a very long time. Love is not my friend.
Relationships are not who I am. They never have been, but being
around you made me question that. Many nights, I stood on the roof,
thinking about life, thinking about love, and somehow found myself
thinking about you. There are times when I wish I weren't me, times
when I imagine what we could be together if our circumstances were
different. I have no doubt you'd change my life, and the truth is,
you already have. Everything about you drives me crazy. The way
your skin smells and the little freckles that sprinkle across your
nose. The way your eyes curve down and the way your teeth gently
rest on your bottom lip when you smile.

Lauren, I wish I could take that
chance with you. I'd walk to the ends of the earth, I'd kill, I'd
fight, and I'd protect you . . . but you deserve better than me and
what I have to offer. I live in a dangerous world, one that you
cannot be a part of. It's not safe. You will always be a target as
long as you're around me. Always. That is neither here nor there
now because, by the time you read this, you'll not be here. Knowing
that you're okay, that you're safe, is worth the sacrifice of
us.

I never planned to give my heart
to anyone, but somehow I know when you get on that plane,
everything that I am, every ounce of love that ever existed in my
body, will be with you in America.

Abbot

My hand shook as I sat on the
floor reading every word. I read the note at least four times
before dropping it. Then I lay back, allowing the cool hardwood
floor to calm me, but instead I felt like I’d made the biggest
mistake leaving London.

I stared at the ceiling fan for
over an hour. The blades went round and round, just like my
thoughts. When I stood, I made the decision to go back to London
and find Abbot. The only goal was to tell him how fucking
ridiculous he was and how he didn't have the only choice in the
matter. I had a say too, and I was willing to take that
chance.

After showering, I chased sleep
until the sun rose. I placed my face in my hands then rubbed my
eyes. Although I was tired and my eyes burned, I couldn't rest.
With nothing else to do, I lay there until I couldn't.

Sleep wasn't my friend. Often
nightmares of Derrick snuck into my dreams of Abbot, ruining the
entire night. I threw the suitcase on top of the bed and dumped out
everything that I had originally packed. Inside I saw the journal
with blank pages, Jane Austen, and all sorts of clothes that no
longer represented me as an individual. That person had died the
day Derrick took me.

I packed new clothes, shoes, and
pictures of my family. The goal would be to go to the airport and
buy a ticket to London, but before I went to Houston, I wanted to
take in every single square foot of Galveston.

With tennis shoes laced up, I
grabbed my cell and headphones, and went for a walk. My apartment
was in a prime location for the seawall.

Though it was mid-winter, the sun
warmed my skin as the cool air brushed against it. I walked down
the sidewalk and looked out into the muddy water that I had loved
so much as a kid. I took it all in—the little shops down the strip,
the tourists peddling the bicycle carts, and the carnival smell of
the historical Pleasure Peer.

The music on my iPhone all seemed
depressing, but I was in one of those sorts of moods. Doubts of
leaving again flooded me as I walked past The Great Storm Statue.
What if I went back to London and Abbot denied me? Adele screamed
out in my headphones, and every word she said rang out loud and
clear, but unlike her song, I wasn't giving up.

At the next intersection, before I
could cross the street, a slick black Aston Martin with dark tinted
windows stopped in front of me, blocking me from crossing. Fear
sung with my blood as my adrenaline spiked, then I saw a face that
I never expected to see here wearing tattered blue jeans, aviator
glasses, and a black t-shirt.

When Abbot climbed out of the
driver’s seat and walked to me, the shock of it all froze me in
place. His hands ran through my hair, and he pulled me close to
him. Inches from his face, he whispered, "It is not in the stars to
hold our destiny but in ourselves."

"Fucking Shakespeare," I whispered
and let out a muffled laugh. At that moment, I experienced
something that could only be explained as true happiness. It was
all encompassing and powerful, an endless, unconditional feeling
that rolled through me like the waves at sea with infinite depth.
Maybe it was a combination of both love and happiness. Together
they crashed, creating a riptide strong enough to push and pull me
away from my current state, only to be lost in the body of
emotion.

"This is so . . . unexpected." I
was in shock and all I wanted to do was slap him in his face and
curse him for making my emotions a passenger on his roller coaster
ride. Instead, as I looked into his blue-grey eyes, he faltered.
For the first time, I saw something deeper in his gaze, the
feelings he held for me, and I hoped this would be the beginning of
a beautiful thing.

"I'm sorry. I'm a bastard. I'm an
idiot," he said between kisses.

Then I pulled away from him,
wondering if it were a dream that I wasn't waking up from. "What
are you doing here?"

"An old friend told me how much of
a stubborn arsehole I was being, then gave me his car to drive from
Vegas to here. So where does this leave us?" He grabbed my hands
and pulled me close to him. We couldn't keep our lips off of one
another, which only allowed us to slip further into losing
ourselves in the embrace. "I need you so fucking bad," he
said.

My insides burned a fire of
passion, full of want and need.

He opened the passenger door to
the car, exposing the black leather with red embroidery of the
interior, then jogged around to the driver’s side. We held hands as
we traveled down Seawall Blvd, with smiles painted across our
faces. Every few minutes I would look over at him, not fully
believing that he was here in Galveston with me.

Once inside the apartment, our
lips and bodies became greedier for one another. No matter how many
times we kissed, there was nothing that would quench our desires.
The feel of his skin and smell of him lingered, and I wanted more
and more and more.

Slowly, he ran his fingers up my
shirt, memorizing every inch of my body, causing me to melt in his
hands. When he sucked in a deep breath, I took the moment to
explore every inch of his body. Then our kisses became more eager,
more demanding and desperate. What we experienced in that moment
was bigger than either of us.

"Lauren, there is no need to rush.
I'm not going anywhere."

Abbot took his time removing my
pants and panties, then unbuttoning my shirt. Warm hands swept
across the tops of my breasts, followed by warm lips.

I ran my fingers through his hair
as he kneeled down and kissed my stomach, then trailed back to my
mouth. I had never wanted something or someone so badly.

"I suppose you found my
letter."

I reached up and kissed him
again.

"I meant every word of it," he
said.

"Well, I hope not every word. It
was like a Dear John letter."

His fingers threaded through my
hair, and I leaned into his touch. Lips traced the outside of mine,
and I knew that what we were doing wasn't a one-time thing; it
wasn't something cheap or, better yet, forced. He swept my hair
from my face as he nibbled up my neck and whispered into my ear,
"You're right. Not every word."

I smiled and kissed his shoulder
as he pushed me away from him and stared into my eyes. I couldn't
believe that he was standing in front of me. Seeing him like this,
with his guard down, and smiling, put me in a place of happiness
that I hadn't visited in quite some time.

His lips brushed across mine and
he broke into a smile on my lips. I couldn't help but smile, too. I
grabbed him by the hand and led him into my bedroom, then twisted
the bottom of his shirt in my fingers. He ran his thumb in circles
on his index finger and, when I looked down, he nervously put his
hands on my waist.

With fumbling hands, I unzipped
and unbuttoned his pants, then pulled his black t-shirt over his
head, revealing lean muscles, the tattoos on his arm and chest, and
the word honor on his lower abs. That one was new. Honor. Fitting,
really.

"Let's take our time," he
whispered. His stubble brushed against my cheek. He slowly
unclasped my bra and cupped my breasts with his warm hands. He
slipped off his shoes, and I inched his pants down to the floor. We
stood completely naked in front of one another and admired each
other's bodies. I lay back on the bed and propped myself up on one
elbow to study his tattoos.

"You're so sultry," he said, and I
blushed at his words. Moments later, he climbed onto the bed and
explored my mouth and tongue. I couldn't get close enough to his
bare skin. He was a black hole, sucking me in, tearing me into
little pieces. If I could freeze time and live in this moment
forever, I would. I never wanted it to end.

His fingertips brushed across my
nipples and down my stomach. No longer could we hold ourselves back
from the inevitable. Abbot was thunder and I was rain, and together
we created a beautiful storm of rolling emotions. Our souls
mingled, then twisted together. The connection we experienced was
overpowering and all encompassing.

I never imagined the act of making
love could be so powerful that it could steal me from my body and
make me feel so alive. Abbot was like a burning forest fire, wild,
involved, and turning me to ash.

He was passionate.

Addicting.

Gentle.

Mine.

Our bodies were sticky with sweat
and want. We were covered in lust and a kaleidoscope of love. We
were both at the end of our ropes, no longer able to hold on as our
bodies trembled with need. I didn't know how much longer I could
hold out as he gently pushed himself into me, deeper and
deeper.

His breath was like warm sunshine
on my skin, and his moans drove me crazy. His tongue and mouth
danced to a slow mesmerizing tune of passion. Abbot lay on his
back, and I climbed on top of him. I stared into his hazel eyes as
each inch of him slid inside of me. I wanted him deeper. I wanted
to feel him tomorrow. I wanted to remember what opening the
Pandora's box of Abbot's heart felt like emotionally and
physically.

I bent down to kiss him as my
movements became more wild and rough. I wanted his name to be
imprinted inside of me. I wanted that moment of passion to be the
one that woke me in the middle of the night. As I became more
animalistic, he grabbed my hips and stopped me from moving, then
swept my hair from my eyes.

"Don't," he whispered.

I opened my mouth, and he placed
his finger on my lips. I kissed his finger as he laid me on my
back.

"When you want to be fucked, I'll
fuck you . . . but"—he shook his head back and forth—“not today.
Today we take our time. Today we make love."

My body instantly responded to his
gentleness. He kissed down my stomach and his lips painted my inner
thighs with kisses. Shots of pleasure streamed through me as he
swirled his tongue on my clit. Slow rhythmic movements pulled me
closer to the edge. My body trembled with desire, and before I
came, Abbot pushed himself inside of me, giving me deep long
thrusts. No longer able to take it, my body released all tension.
The intense and powerful orgasm caused an overwhelming flood of
emotions. Soon afterward, he was releasing himself inside of
me.

"What have you done to me?" Abbot
asked across my mouth, painting me with his words.

"Love is merely a madness," I
said.

"Then you've officially driven me
mad."

My heart raced with excitement and
for a brief moment all the sadness I had felt before Abbot arrived
had disappeared. I felt emotion other than sadness and that alone
made me feel human. I might be in a thousand broken pieces but I
would eventually be put back together again. With time, my sadness
would disappear and my wounded heart would mend. There were times
when terrible things happened to good people. Every action has a
consequence and because evil people stalk the world, I would have
to live with what happened for the rest of my life. But I would
learn to heal and fight. One day I would be able to trust, be
happy, and maybe even love again.