Embracing You, Embracing Me (6 page)

Amber was fifteen minutes late for curfew,
but the delay went completely unnoticed due to the fact that her mother slept
so deeply. And just before she slid out of Darren’s passenger seat, he asked
her to go steady. Of course she said yes and when she did, he handed her his
letterman jacket before kissing her goodnight.

“Whoa! That is so awesome!” I said. “I
can’t believe that you guys are going out now.”

“I know, I never would have thought that
Darren and I would end up as a couple. He could date pretty much anyone that he
wanted.”

“Yeah, but…” I paused. “Do you think that
it will be weird around Gabriel for you guys?”

“I don’t think so. He seemed to understand
what was going on between us the entire night and honestly didn’t seem to care.
I was just someone to go to prom with. Oh, my god, wouldn’t it be so cool if
you and Gabriel hooked up and we could be like best friend couples, all four of
us?”

As if I hadn’t already thought of that
fantasy scenario. “Whatever! Like that’s gonna happen.” I rolled my eyes dramatically
at the phone. “Don’t get your hopes up. I’m certainly not going to,” I said
more to myself than to my friend.

“What? I saw you two dancing last night. It
looked like a possibility to me,” she said. “Anyway, you two will have to hang
out together more often regardless, because you both happen to be best friends
with the hot new couple in town.”

GABRIEL:
My family owns a florist business and as summer draws closer they
have officially hired me to work part-time in an attempt to keep up with the
increasing demands.

Contrary to what some people may believe,
even though it cuts into some of my social life, I don’t resent my parent’s
expectations to do my part in the family business. In fact, I often enjoy the almost
meditative state that I retreat to while I turn the musty soil and earth. I
relish the quiet sanctuary that working in their fields offers and do some of
my best thinking while working alongside my father, mother and sisters. And if
I ever needed to do some thinking, now would definitely be one of those times.

It’s the day after prom and although I’m
filthy with the grit of the earth covering me from head to toe, I keep catching
myself drifting back to the moment when I asked Roshell to dance.

I admit it, I spent the first part of the
evening frustrated once it became apparent that my date only had eyes for my
best friend. Fortunately I’m not one to wallow. I recovered quickly when I
decided that the night was young and I could still make something memorable out
of the evening.  

I figured, What the hell! Might as well
make the most of it!

And that’s exactly what I did. I made it my
personal goal to dance with as many of the available females that I possibly
could, and before I knew it I was bouncing from one gal to the next. Gotta
admit, it felt pretty good. They were all dressed to the nines, smelling
delicious with their fruity perfumes, and eager to lose themselves to the party.

When Amber and Darren approached me and
relayed Roshell’s predicament, I had no problem offering to chauffer her home
with the rest of my group.

What surprised me was my own reaction when
I scanned the dance floor and spotted her alone at the drink table. Sure her
back was to me, but I could clearly see that she was upset. She was all rigid
and she was obviously distressed. I kinda felt sorry for her. Before I even
realized that I had made the decision to do so, I was walking toward her with
no particular goal. I was simply pulled to her, drawn to her. Now that I look
back, it feels weird to say that I didn’t really have a choice in that moment.

You should have seen the look on her face
when I asked her to dance. I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or just reach out and
give her a hug. She looked terrified and was absolutely tongue tied which was
slightly funny, yet endearing. I had to bite the inside of my cheek to hide the
grin that was threatening to consume me as I led her to the dance floor.

I pulled her to me and just like that the
night changed, the mood shifted. I no longer cared about the awkward social
interactions going on all around us. I was completely tuned into her. I liked
the way she moved with the music. Her movements were smooth as if it was
natural for her to dance with me. It sounds cheesy, but we just kind of fit.

I had always noticed both her and Amber
since moving to this small town. It’s uncanny how similar they are and it
almost appears as if they are sisters. Both have mid-length dark blonde hair,
and fair skin, though Roshell is slightly fairer. They have pretty,
heart-shaped faces that are always smiling, radiating their youth and sense of
adventure-seeking fun. The two are practically inseparable, so that when you
picture one you automatically picture the other one.

Amber has a quieter more introspective personality
while Roshell is the extrovert. And she’s impulsive, although, I have recently
noticed that she isn’t that way around me. Maybe Darren’s suspicions about
Roshell being infatuated with me were accurate after all.

At first I thought that Amber was more my
type and seized the impromptu opportunity of asking her to prom, with the
intent of it possibly turning into something more, but that scenario soon
evaporated as it became obvious that Darren and Amber had eyes for each other.

I don’t mind this by the way. Ever since I
moved here I have developed a strong bond with Darren and feel like we are more
like brothers. Besides, all you have to do is take one look at the two of them.
They do make a cute couple.

When Darren first mentioned he
thought Roshell had a crush on me I brushed him off and assumed it was Darren’s
way of distracting me while he essentially stole my prom date.

But now that I’ve actually talked with her
and noticed the way she stood frozen like a deer in headlights, I suspect that
either Darren was right or she was repulsed by me and wasn’t good at giving a
polite decline. Being that she wrapped around me and seemed to enjoy the way we
swayed to the music, I’m hopeful that it was the former.

And, yeah, I was enjoying myself just as much.
She felt so tiny in my arms and it gave me the odd sense of suddenly wanting to
gather her closer as if to protect her. From what I’m not sure.

I wanted to dance with her again that
evening but the D.J. wrapped up before I had the chance. Then I didn’t even get
to speak to her on the way home because most of the car ride had been filled
with Kerri’s grouchiness after the way her night had turned out.

What I did find intriguing was the way
Roshell reacted when we pulled into her trailer park. She was so obviously
embarrassed, ashamed to have us discover where she lived. She must be extremely
self-conscious with her lifestyle and I wish that I could have spent more time
with her, get to know her, tell her that those things don’t matter to me.

Now, here I am on my knees, my back aching
as I pull unwanted and treacherous weeds out of the ground by their roots but
still thinking of her and I’m beginning to think that maybe I will try to do
just that.

Over the next few weeks the dynamics of
friendships shifted and remolded to fit the new development of Darren and Amber
being a couple. Amber had been right about all four of us hanging out together
more often, but other than some shy smiles and mild flirtations, Gabriel and I
did not casually drift into our own couple-dom.

I still had a maddening crush on him, but
as Gabriel spent more time at work and less time in social circles, I figured I
had better drop that pipedream and move on. Especially since there were rumors
floating around that a girl living right down the street from him had been seen
hanging out at his place the past few weekends. Supposedly, she was earning a
few extra bucks working in the fields with his family, but it didn’t take much
imagination to assume that Gabriel would be interested in the pretty brunette
neighbor with long legs.

So when summer came I was eager to start
the grueling ballet schedule that always pushed my body to its physical limits.
My relentless perseverance had finally paid off when my dance instructor
approached me with an invitation to join the Troupe on their Saturday morning
class. This was the opportunity that I had been striving toward for over a
year. Fortunately my instructor was aware of my financial status and
immediately offered the class on yet another scholarship, which I accepted graciously.

That summer, I danced six mornings a week,
shaking from exertion, my toes blistered and bleeding from pointe work, by the
time I was done each day. I relentlessly pushed myself harder and harder,
loving every minute of it. In the dance studio I felt strong. I felt connected
in mind, body and spirit with a sense of calm that otherwise eluded me in life.
In that hour and a half I knew who I was and always wished that I could carry
that feeling throughout the rest of the day. But on the ride home with Grandma,
that confidence would fade as I dreaded the monotonous routine of living in a
wasteland, poor and despondent.

Sighing, I resolved to stop thinking so
negatively, to not give in to the feeling of helplessness, the creeping
depression. I had dance and my family, while Sabrina lived just down the road
to help me get through yet another small town summer.

One particularly hot, sunny August morning,
with Boys to Men playing quietly on the radio, just as the last week of summer
was wrapping up, Grandma and I pulled into our trailer park and noticed Sabrina
was already there, waiting on our rickety wood front steps. She was swinging
her legs over the side, head bopping in time to her Walkman. My family had
virtually adopted Sabrina over the past year. She had even been assigned
certain chores, and this tickled her greatly. Despite the fact that my family
life was chaotic and unconventional, I never once doubted their love. They were
loud and dysfunctional, yes. They were blue collar and simple, but they had no
problem showing their love as they seemed to adopt every stray child around.
They couldn’t give much, but affection was always something they gave freely. I
might not have felt proud when it came to our status or where we lived but I
always felt proud of the way they loved without hindrance, without hesitation.
Their love was unconditional and I depended on it.

Sabrina never had much attention at home
because her parents worked long hours, so she relished in the chaotic
environment of my house. I often had to babysit my younger cousins and since
Sabrina was an only child she liked feeling that she had a new family to be
part of, chores and all.

I grabbed my dance bag and jumped out of
the car to greet her. Sabrina asked Grandma if she would let me walk down to
the corner store with her to buy a soda. Grandma rolled her eyes and shooed us
on our way. “Go on, then. Get outta here.”

It may not seem very exciting to take a
walk to the local store, but when you are out in the middle of nowhere, it’s
about as exciting as it’s gonna get.

I took my thick hair out of the high bun I
had it in for ballet that morning then pulled my fingers through it a couple of
times. We bounded down the street, enjoying the blue sky and the feel of the
warm sun on our shoulders.

On the way back home, as we sipped our
fizzy cokes and listened to the birds chirping and the sound of our sandals slapping
the pavement, we were content and for once didn’t seem to mind our quiet little
town.

But as we drew nearer to home, Sabrina
started to get a little twitchy and seemed nervous. I watched her out of the
corner of my eye before finally breaking the tension and asked what was up.

Sabrina slowed her step. “Well… remember my
friend that lives on the other side of the lake? The one I met at the mall a
few months back? Anyway, it’s his birthday this weekend and he invited us to
his party.”

“Us? I don’t even know him. Why would he
ask me? Anyway, you know that my mom and grandma would never let me go to some
random boy’s party.”

“Well, technically he invited me, but I
told him that I would bring a friend and he said that would be cool. It’s not
going to be a big party. His parents and sister are going out of town for the
Labor Day weekend so he is going to have a little secret bash.”

Sabrina halted, waiting determinedly until
I stopped and turned. When I finally caught on and looked directly at her, she
tentatively suggested, “It’s not like your family has to know.” Her expression
was cautious as she watched my face while I processed what she was hinting at.
It must have been interesting to watch as my face registered shocked
understanding and then just as quickly shifted to a calm determination. I
narrowed my gaze, turned on my heel and walked off.

Sabrina stood motionless, jaw slackened for
half a second before she jogged to catch up, reaching for my elbow. “Hey, don’t
be mad, it was just an idea.”

I looked round sharply. “Mad? You dork! I’m
not mad. I’m coming up with a plan so we can make this work. If I get busted,
I’m toast, so we gotta do this right.”

“Oh. I just thought, the way you stomped
off like that... I should have figured you were up for it.” She gave a shaky
laugh.