Emergence (Eden's Root Trilogy) (20 page)

H
e nodded to Asher and turned back to Fi. “And your wedding video. Our station administrator told us to read your stories from the book, so we’d know who you were. That was when I found out everything you’d done, and endured, and who you’d become. It was amazing, Fi. I never could’ve imagined how things turned out just because I let you disappear into the night.”

“And no
w you’re still here, helping me…Commander.”

Julius ducked his head.
“Yes, helping you. Helping everyone. One thing that going to war teaches you is that mankind has a nasty dark streak. I swore that I’d never fight in a war again, but…”

“
…but,” Fi said, “sometimes you don’t have a choice.”

------------- Asher -------------

Fi ran beside him in silence the next morning.
They’d had to skirt three towns by climbing punishing ridges, and she took his hand and support, but said nothing. He knew she was tiptoeing around him and it was irritating. He’d already agreed to this stupid plan. Why did he have to be happy about it?

Not that
there was much time for conversation as they flew toward the Truther settlement. They’d been pushing it before, but now that Fi and Sara were slated to be the designated spies, they had to arrive first. The days stretched into exhausting cycles: run like mad for three hours, stop so Fi could feed Luke, run like mad for three hours, stop to feed Luke.
Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

She was pushing herself way too hard, but then, what else was new?
He tried to follow her lead, pushing to the limits, to the point where thought becomes impossible. But no matter how hard he pushed, his mind refused to fade into the background. Every mile they covered was one mile closer to his wife taking the craziest chance she’d ever taken.
With their son, no less.
It made the palms of his hands itch. He wished he could run with his sword in his hand, but that wasn’t practical.

He couldn’t shake the image of Fi wandering into the middle of a circle of snarling Lobos with their son strapped to her chest.
And the plan was for her to play “make-believe” until the cavalry arrived? Oh, and also to sneak around and try to get messages back to them. It was lunacy. The thoughts churned along with his legs until mid-afternoon when hers began to falter. Luke had been fussing on and off for twenty minutes. It was time to stop.

They settled in a clearing.
While Luke fed, Asher sat with his back to a rock, facing the path. It was easier if he didn’t look at her…at them. His son was barely of actual “newborn” age. He was the only thing in the world tiny enough to make Fi seem big. And she was running on nothing but fumes and rage.
Lunacy.
Silent, his fingertips worked, snapping twigs and tossing them away.

“Spit it out, Ash.”

He startled and then shook his head, still avoiding her gaze. If he’d looked at her he’d have seen the accusation in her eyes. “What, Fi?”

“I know you’re angry with me for wanting to
go in…to take Luke in there.”

“I’m just nervous
.” He tried to keep the edge out of his voice, but he must have failed.

“That’s not true, Ash, and you know it,” she said, her voice rising. “The judgment is freaking oozing off of you right now, and I can’t take it.”

That did it.
His blood surged as he stood and whirled. “You can’t take it, Fi?
You
can’t take it? How can you even consider going into that kind of danger with Luke? Are you that out of your mind with rage that you refuse to think? You know, you’re not wild Fi Kelly anymore. You’re a wife now, and a mother. You have commitments to someone besides yourself.”

“What?
” She gasped, her eyes narrowing. “Are you saying there was a time when I didn’t have commitments? Or don’t you remember that I have always, always, been committed to another? Another who was there before you and me.”

He stepped back, stung.
She might as well have slapped him. “So Kiara is more important than anything else? More than Luke?” He stopped, his jaw working. His palms were itching again. “More than me?”

“That’s not fair.
” Her mouth pressed into a thin white scrawl. She shook her head. “You’re asking me to choose between children and I can’t do it. You want me to say that because I’m Fi Grey now, I have a family responsibility. Well, Kiara is Kiara GREY now too, and don’t you forget it!”

“You
think I’ve FORGOTTEN Kiara? Jesus, you really have lost your mind.” He bit his tongue the moment the words left his mouth, but it was too late.
Shit
.

Her
face went as white as the snow. “You didn’t really just say
that
, did you?”

He faltered, unsure how he’d ended up the bad guy.
What was so wrong with wanting to protect her?

T
wo squirrels burst from a nest above, squabbling, and then dove away into the forest. Loosed leaves fluttered into Fi’s lap. She plucked one and spun it in her gloved fingertips, her gaze fixed on the lacy skeleton. “I could just as easily ask why you get to fight, Asher,” she said, her voice now quiet. “You’re a father. You have a baby. Why don’t you tap out?”

“Because they need me, Fi…” he said
, and then stopped, silenced by her face. Her
countenance
, he thought, annoyed by his own mental slavery to vocab. Something about the word “countenance” was perfect for her now. So calm. So reserved. Her silence was the only response she would give, he knew. It was maddening. “Fi, you promised me you wouldn’t fight anymore when you became a mom!”

“That was before someone kidnapped Kia
ra.” She spoke slowly, emphasizing each word like he was deaf.

He
groaned and squeezed his temples.
Why didn’t she get it?
“But the other pregnant women and young mothers stayed home, Fi. They’re guarding the Nets while the rest of us take the risks.” He tried to restrain himself, to not say the words all
slowly
like she’d done to him, but he couldn’t help it. He was being driven insane. Each one came out like a punch, straight from his gut into hers. “Why can’t you do that for once? Just for
once
?”

“Because that’s not me, Ash
.” Her voice rose again. “You know damn right well that’s not me!”

“Hey
, hey, HEY!” Julius came charging over the hill.

Asher
startled and noticed the steady stream of Army of Eden members sneaking past, their heads down as if guilty.
Crap
.

“What
the hell is the matter with you two?” Julius was fuming. “We could hear you yelling from damned near a mile away! Do I have to remind you that we’re trying to be stealthy?”

Fi looked away
, embarrassed.

“Aw, c’mon, Commander,” someone laughed.
“It’s kind of reassuring.”

Asher
located the speaker, Marcus from the WBST Net, passing with his family.

“Reassuring?” Julius said.

“Yeah. It’s good to know that all husbands and wives fight.” Marcus grinned. “Even superheroes.”

Fi half-laughed and then coughed into her fist
.

“Great. That’s just great,” Asher muttered. “Thanks a lot, Marcus!” he yelled over his shoulder, before turning back to Fi, resigned. “I was just trying to convince her otherwise.”

“Yeah,
well good luck with that, man,” Julius said. “I’ve gotta move on with these guys. Just remember to keep it down. And hurry up, ok?”

Julius marched away, directing the
Army over the next ridge.

Asher
took Fi’s hand and stroked it in silence, ignoring the whispers and giggles of those passing. For some reason he couldn’t summon the anger he’d felt just seconds ago. Not anymore. Now nothing was left but sorrow. There were only a few things in the world that truly mattered to him. Fi, and now Luke,
and Kiara
. He sat beside her and pressed his lips to his wife’s forehead. It had just started to flurry again and her eyelashes were dotted with tiny snowflakes. “I’m sorry, Fi. I shouldn’t have said…”

“
…Shhhhhh. Me too, baby. Me too.” She laid her head on his shoulder. “We have to stop the violence, Asher. And I don’t mean just the Truthers. I mean this whole new world that we live in. Someone has to take a stand. We can’t keep living by, ‘What’s yours is mine, what’s mine is mine, and only might makes right.’”

“But why us?
Why you?” His heart ached with the answer before she even gave it.

“Because, Ash.
Someone has to be someone.”

--------- Fi --------

Fi stood
atop the ridge, her short curls whipping from beneath her knit cap.
Grey,
she thought. It was always the grey of winter that got her. Naked trees blending into a grey smear against a grey sky, with the snow and mud forming a grey blanket beneath. All of it dead to the pounding of troubled feet.

It was first light.
Sara stood at her side watching the runners go out. One of them was being followed by a great black shadow.
Safe Seek to you, Zykeem and Titan
, Fi thought.

“And we think
what we’re doing is brave,” Sara murmured.

“Yeah, I know, right?”

The runners, with the exception of Zykeem
and Titan, went out alone. They were too few, and the distances they covered too large, to allow for pairing up. So far their reconnaissance had led the Army safely through outlying Truther settlements. But a week ago, one of them hadn’t come back.

An icy gust swirled, buffeting her and
stinging her eyes. She fingered the bag of seeds that Reggie had given her, tucked deep in her pocket. It warmed her, that little reminder, the pilot light to her outrage. This was bigger than her desperate need to have Kiara back, and it was bigger than revenge. This was a fight for the future of humanity.

That was why no one talked about the runner who’d disappeared.
Asher had been right that first night when they’d arrived at Jean and Luc’s. Everyone who’d signed up for this mission knew the stakes. She stepped up onto a nearby stump to get a better view of the descending ridge. If she squinted, she could see the Ohio River beckoning on the horizon.

“Sara, c’mere.”
She shifted so that Sara could step up with one foot as well. “Do you see that or is it just me wishing it?”

“No.
I see it too.” Sara stared at the horizon, her hands tapping at her daggers. She mouthed something.

“What?” Fi asked, nudging her.
“What was that?”

Sara flushed.
“I said ‘9,504.’ That’s um, well….we have about 4.5 miles left I think.”

Fi stepped down
again and sat on the stump, waving so that Sara would settle beside her. She snuggled Luke into the crook of her arm and gave Sara a pointed look. “9,504? What’s that?”

“It’s
just a habit,” Sara said, her smile tight. “I count my strides. I figured out my running stride and now I count the miles.”

“You count your strides?”
Fi’s eyes widened. “Like…all of them?”

Sara’s head dropped
. “Yeah. It helps keep me calm. It started when I went on my first Seek with Sean. I didn’t realize how scared I was to go Topside after being in Eden for so long. I remember the feeling of my daggers strapped to my thighs.” She stopped, her hands stilling where they’d been tapping at her daggers’ hilts. “Guess I still do. Anyway, I started counting my steps while we walked and it helped me to relax a little. Numbers have always done that for me. When I was a kid and I was stressed, I used to repeat number patterns.”

“W
hat kind of number patterns?” Fi bounced Luke in her arms.

“
Just, like, lists and patterns. Primes, Pi, squares, cubes, Fibonacci…”

“Fibo-what-now?” Fi interrupted, grinning.

Sara bumped her shoulder. “Shut up. Like you’re any less of a nerd with all your vocabulary games. Don’t you need a rhythm or a distraction or something when we run?”

“Honestly, Sar, i
t takes all my mental energy just to keep taking steps, let alone count them.”

“No, I mean it, Fi.
I know you. You’ve gotta be thinking
something
to keep you going.”

Fi blinked as
the words barreled through her.
I’M COMING FOR YOU…I’M COMING FOR YOU…I’M COMING FOR YOU…I’M COMING FOR YOU…I’M COMING FOR YOU… I’M COMING FOR YOU…
She swallowed. “Uh, yeah. I guess I do have a mental cadence.”

“Mental cadence!” Sara
hooted. “Yeah, I’m the weirdo. Who the hell says ‘mental cadence?’”

Fi bumped Sara’s shoulder and said, “Shut up,” before settling back into her thoughts.

She did have a mental cadence.
A really messed up mental cadence. So who was she to think Sara’s counting footsteps was weird
? Only 4.5 more miles,
she thought
.
She inhaled, as if just by breathing the same air, she could grab a piece of her little sister and lock it inside her, safe. The need was growing now, the closer they got. It was pressing against her insides, shoving organs and bones aside as it pushed to overwhelm her like hunger does a starving man.

I’m coming for you
, baby.

She had to think about something else…
“So you’ve counted our steps the whole way then, Sara?”