Encore (The Black Eagles Series Book 2) (20 page)

Hidden under the hood of Luke’s jumper, Melissa blended into the busy crowd. She kept her head down as she made her way through the crowds, knowing she was breaking the rules, but attempting to act normal. It had been weeks since she had been able to do anything without being escorted by Luke, or Dale or a security guard. It was driving her nuts. She felt like she was about to go insane. The only time she was alone was to pee, and even then it felt like they might as well come in with her. She understood the need for it but she was beginning to feel suffocated. Everything was tense and she just felt sad. Lyla and Allie were never far from her thoughts. They had been torn apart all over again. Cassie and Jo-Jo were in bits. The music world was mourning Allie, such a tragic accident that had been in the news for the past few weeks since it happened. They had attended a second funeral, had to say goodbye to another friend and Melissa wasn’t sure she could handle it.

              Echo were taking a break, naturally they needed to grieve and decide what to do once they could think straight. They had spent a week with the boys on tour, giving Jo-Jo time to be with Tom and not mess up his tour. Cassie needed Luke, her friend, leaving Summer behind while she calmed down. She hadn’t blamed her but she needed time. Then she had headed back to the UK to see her family, management and anyone else that had invested in their band. They also had to address their fans and that was awful. Cassie wouldn’t even discuss the matter of replacing Allie – how do you do that? She hadn’t just left them for something else. She had been ripped away from them and would never come back. Shadowed Faces had parted with Summer, who was now fully supporting Cassie and they were very much together. Some said she should show more loyalty to her band, but they didn’t know the things Nathan had done over the years. Eventually, you had to stand up and say enough is enough. Summer had lost her passion and desire to fight for it. She couldn’t defend Nathan this time and Cassie wouldn’t ever forgive him or Rocco. It was nasty and emotional.

              Luke was stressed and was trying to protect Melissa
and
keep the band going, but their schedule was jam packed and she barely saw him. And when she did it was all about Amber or Echo or Ebony or the next interview, show or charity event. These thoughts were making her feel terrible and selfish because all she wanted to do was to lock herself away with him, to just curl up with him and do nothing, to lie in his arms and forget everything. But he was always on a time limit. They had started to bicker again and she was failing to hide her annoyance and, to be completely honest, her loneliness. Beth was busy with Ebony now, and Dale was being over protective, which was understandable. They were all worried and frustrated. They had assumed that Amber would have been easily found, but the hunt for her was still on. There had been nothing since the call in New Zealand. It should have been a good thing, but it wasn’t and just made everyone more on edge. Amber was coming for them and they were once again powerless and vulnerable. She would show up and this time without giving any warning. Maybe a small part of Melissa had chosen to lose her bodyguard to lure her out. It was a dangerous move, but if Amber did show up at least she would be visible. No longer a shadow lurking in the dark, a monster in her nightmares. And if she came for Melissa then Ebony would be safe. There was also the possibility  that was Amber’s plan.

              She ducked into a little boutique and hid in the aisle and browsed. They had unique bags and shoes, plus it was quiet.

              ‘Melissa Webb, what are you doing alone?’ a voice hissed in her ear. Melissa turned and smiled at the woman next to her. She was wearing sunglasses and her long silver hair sat perfectly straight around her wise and beautiful face. It was Saskia Lee, wife of Sonny Lee, one of the music world’s biggest names. Front man to Jet – lagged, a band from back in the 60s, who had become their most famous friends. Sonny had been one of the judges at Amplified and had sung The Black Eagles praises and become a mentor to Luke. He was always happy to talk to Luke when things got too much and had been a big help during the past six months, especially with Luke’s addiction. Sonny had had his own problems with drugs back in his day, and although Luke’s paled in significance to Sonny’s it was still a battle he’d had to fight.

              ‘You haven’t answered my question, young lady. Where is your shadow?’ Saskia asked again, her hands on her hips. Her leather jacket hugged her body and Melissa was in awe of her. She was in her sixties but still absolutely stunning. Melissa shrugged and admitted to giving him the slip.

              ‘Why? You bloody idiot.’

              ‘I-I don’t really know...I feel like I’m going insane,’ Melissa whispered before her voice broke on the last word. Her hands flew to her face and she tried to swallow the urge to sob.

              Saskia took her by the arm and led her out of the shop. They walked for a while eventually arriving at one of London’s prestigious restaurants. Unless you were rich and famous you didn’t get in. They were shown to a private table and Saskia ordered drinks for them. She brushed the hood from Melissa’s head and smoothed out her hair. ‘You’re a beautiful girl. It’s a shame you feel the need to cover up.’

              ‘I feel like I have to these days.’

              ‘Talk to me. Maybe I can help. I’m so very sorry about your friends. You’ve been through so much for someone so young.’

              Melissa put her head in her hands and cried again. Saskia smoothed her hair and tried to calm her. ‘I’m just so confused. I don’t know what to feel. I feel so selfish. All I want to do is cry.’

              Saskia looked confused. ‘How are you selfish?’

              Melissa explained about how she felt lonely, missing Luke even when he was in the room. About wanting to forget everything, ignore it, pretend and maybe it would go away. And how much she was struggling with being in the limelight. ‘I hate it. I hate it. I feel like everything is my fault. If...’ Melissa trailed off. A thought suddenly struck. It
was
her fault. She
was
the problem.

              ‘If…what?’ Saskia asked, concerned.

              ‘If I wasn’t around then maybe Luke and everyone else would be safe.’

              Saskia thought it was a ridiculous idea and told her so. But the thought was already beginning to grow in Melissa’s mind. Saskia had to do some fast talking before Melissa made a terrible mistake. ‘How is leaving Luke going to make anything better?’

              ‘He won’t have to worry about me. Amber can come for me and leave everyone else alone.’               Saskia was frantically shaking her head. ‘No, Lissa, honey. You leaving him will break his heart, and he’ll worry more. He will self-destruct and you know it.’

              Melissa had made her mind up: she was leaving Luke. She felt her heart shatter into a million pieces at the decision, but in her mind it was the only way he would be safe.

              ‘You can’t do this. I won’t let you,’ Saskia said.

              ‘I have to. I’ve caused him and the boys enough trouble. He’s better off without me.’ Melissa begged Saskia to give her enough time to go home and pack. Luke was doing a radio interview and wouldn’t be back for a few hours. She would go to her parents first to explain, to avoid them worrying. And then she would pick somewhere to go and tell nobody. In her mind, leaving everyone behind meant their safety. She rushed out and jumped into a taxi before Saskia could make her change her mind knowing she had to do it, and quickly. If Luke knew her plan there would be no chance he would let her leave. She also didn’t want to see his face while she walked away from him.

*****

It wasn’t long before Melissa was throwing clothes into a suitcase and grabbing whatever she could in the time she had. Once her case was packed she stood in the middle of their bedroom where they had shared their most intimate moments: her dreams, his dreams, every kiss and touch they had shared were still so fresh in her mind. Just that morning before getting up they had the best morning sex in a long time. He had left in a very good mood. But she refused to cry. This was the right thing to do, the only thing to do. Maybe Amber was watching and would follow. She could end this even if it meant her life. Before she left she wrote Luke a note:

            
 
Luke, I know this will be hard and it isn’t because I don’t love you. God, I do. I just feel like I’m a burden to you. I’m the reason for all this pain and darkness. I’m sorry for everything. I want you to be free from all of this and I think if I left it would be so much better for you, for everyone.

Tell them all I love them and I’m sorry and kiss Ebony for me. Tell Beth I know she’ll be mad with me but I’m doing this to protect her.

I love you, You’ve been the best boyfriend, but I don’t feel I deserve you. I’m not worth this, and I can’t do it any more. I’m sorry!

Lissa Xxx

              She went to the bathroom, splashed her face with cold water and stared in the mirror not liking the girl who stared back at her. She was at her lowest and wasn’t sure she would survive this. She stood looking at herself for longer than planned, rooted to the spot. Eventually, she broke from her trance and started her last walk out of her home.

              She stopped dead as she entered the living room. Luke was standing beside her packed suitcase, her letter in his hand. His expression was complete devastation.

              ‘You’re fucking leaving me!’

              ‘Luke...please...’

              Luke threw the letter to the floor and stormed towards her. For a second she was scared of him, he looked like he was going to hit her. He grabbed her shoulders and nearly shook her with rage. ‘No, you are not going anywhere. What the fuck is this?’

              Melissa winced as his grip tightened on her arms, like a vice. ‘Luke, you’re hurting me,’ she cried out.

              He hadn’t meant to do that and he let go. ‘I don’t understand. Why?’

              ‘It says in the letter.’

              ‘You really think it’s your fault?’

              Melissa nodded and pushed past him, grabbing her bag. ‘I’m going. Please don’t stop me.’

              Luke yanked her case from her, and threw it across the room. ‘Just be honest. You don’t love me any more, do you?’

              Melissa snapped her head around to look at him, shocked. ‘That isn’t the reason.’

              ‘Who is he?’ Luke thought she had met someone else and this was an excuse.

              ‘Luke. Don’t be stupid.’

              ‘Now I’m stupid. Forgive me for being pissed off. After everything we’ve been through and fought for, you’re throwing in the towel.’ He looked like he was going to cry. ‘Please don’t. If you love me, don’t just leave me. Please, Liss’

              Melissa took his hand and placed in it on her cheek. ‘I’ve caused you so much pain. There is nobody else. I’m not sure there is anyone else out there for me.’ Luke stroked her cheek with his thumb and it was so gentle but slightly rough from his constant guitar playing. ‘I’m not punishing you. I want to take it all away.’

              Luke leaned his face into hers and kissed her, a soft and lingering kiss. ‘I would rather have Amber stalking us and have you with me than be safe and not have you. I need you and I want you here no matter what. This is not your fault.’

              This wasn’t what Melissa had wanted and she was losing the will to leave. Luke’s face was exactly how she had pictured it. His eyes were filling up, but she still needed to go. She had to be strong and do this. ‘Please let me go,’ she begged.

              ‘No.’ He held her against him. ‘No. Never. We’ve lost so much already. I can’t lose you. Not now. Don’t you think I want to give up and run away? Liss, we can’t run away, we can never run anywhere. And where will you go?’

              The pain in his expression broke her stance and she thought about his question. Where
would
she go? She didn’t have a clue. She realised just how stupid she was being, and that leaving wasn’t the answer. She wasn’t even sure she would have made it out of the building. ‘I’m just so tired. I never see you. I’m...lonely.’ She let everything pour out. All her feelings and fears. Every selfish thought with nothing held back.

              ‘I’m sorry. I don’t know how to fix it. I can’t take time off. I just can’t…I need this as well as you,’ Luke said calmly, relaxed now.

              ‘I’m not asking you to give anything up, Luke. I know I could never do that. I don’t want that either. I’m just being honest. Everything is just so messed up...’

              ‘Leaving won’t change anything. Amber will still be lurking, and I won’t be safe. It’s me she wants. You leaving will fill her mind with more insane thoughts. You won’t be safe. Do you really want to let her win again? She always breaks us… I love you and I don’t want anyone else.’ Luke knew that him being single would only fuel her obsession. It would make her think she could be with him even more, and he knew she would stalk him all the more.

              Melissa knew he was right and suddenly felt ridiculous. She’d done some idiotic things in the past, but this was her stupidest moment. ‘I’ve been an idiot. I’m just scared and low. I don’t know what I’m doing any more,’ she said.