Endurance (41 page)

I didn’t possess the strength to fight anymore, and yet the sound of that last, whispered word terrified me beyond anything SrrokVar could ever do.

Flippers, not hands, stroked my cheek, my throat, my hair. “You do not have to be afraid.”

Oh yes, I did. Noarr had left me, betrayed me, abandoned me. I clung stubbornly to my terror, which had done many things, but had never, ever deserted me.

He made a sound—a terrible, helpless sound—then gently placed something over my body and head. I felt myself being carried over a distance; cold seeped into my limbs.

I knew what was going on. Noarr had taken me from the crying chambers. He had brought me out onto the surface. Noarr, who had led so
many others through his tunnels, only to turn them over to GothVar and his pals. It didn’t matter that FlatHead was dead. There were plenty of Hsktskt on Catopsa; Noarr had doubtless found replacement monsters hungry for slave meat.

Maggie didn’t need to tell me the obvious. No immune system, no matter however aggressive, could counter the effects of being torn up, eaten, and digested.

So this is it. This is how it ends
.

A disturbing sense of calm settled over me. Ever since Reever’s betrayal, I’d been prepared for this. I’d courted it and found it with equal amounts of determination. But now that the moment of my death was upon me, I felt rather peaceful.

If nothing else, I hope I poison them
.

The cold went away. Noarr said something in that strange, strumming language of his, then lifted me up and onto a soft surface. I kept my eyes and mouth shut, and didn’t fight him as he uncurled my stiff limbs.

I’d had an exceptional life over the last couple of years. No regrets, then, I thought, and waited for them to start ripping into me.

“Cherijo. Open your eyes for me.”

He
wanted
me to see, to watch what they were going to do. The bastard. Clean, purifying anger pumped into my veins, devouring the serenity I’d been enjoying. He could have simply done it, but no, he wanted more. He wanted me to go out shrieking.

Not without a fight, damn it
. My eyes snapped open in time to see Noarr remove the envirohelmet from his head and place it aside. My muscles sang with strain as I curled up and began to roll over off the platform.

“Cherijo.” Noarr came and blocked my path with his body. “Be still. I must—”

“Judas
!” I couldn’t make a fist, so I slammed my good arm into the side of his body. New, clean pain shot up into my neck as I rolled the other way. Noarr flung himself on top on me and pinned me facedown into the sleeping platform.

Sleeping platform
?

Agitated breath rushed by my ear. “Do not move. I must examine your burns.”

“Why?” The linens muffled my voice, so I lifted my head. “Don’t they like their meat cooked?” It didn’t help. All that yelling must have badly strained my larynx.

He rolled off me, flipped me over, and pinned my arms down so fast I didn’t have time to get my hands up. “What are you talking about?”

“You. GothVar and his buddies. Prisoners a la carte?” I spat in his face. “And I thought Hsktskt were animals.” His weight pressed on my burned forearm, and tears welled into my eyes. “Just kill me first, will you?”

Gently he released his grip and sat back. “I never helped GothVar or the other Hsktskt. Every prisoner I’ve liberated has left Catopsa.” He brushed my hair out of my face. “You must believe me.”

“Stop playing with me.” I couldn’t get my voice above a whisper now. “Finish it.”

“Let me examine your arm.”

I didn’t fight anymore. He tugged off my tunic, revealing a burn deeper and more severe than any I’d had before. Noarr gently cleansed it, then wrapped it lightly. For once I didn’t give directions. Besides, he did a fine job.

“Thanks.” I flexed my arm and marveled at the lack of pain. “What did you shoot me up with?”

“Morphinol. It should last until your body repairs the damage. There is nothing I can do to counter the stimulant.”

“It’ll wear off.” I reached for my tunic, then stopped. “Too late for modesty, I guess.” I got up and walked on unsteady legs around the small compartment. “So this is your ship.”

He cleaned up the med-kit supplies and put them away. “Yes.”

I peered out the viewport. “You hid it in the tul growth field.”

He came up behind me. “As the hull is black, it seemed the most logical place.”

I counted the number of growths, and was surprised to see the Lok-Teel had cleaned up nearly half of them. “So if you’re not planning to serve me to the beasts, why am I here?”

Flippers landed lightly on my shoulders. “I could not leave you there,
Waenara
. Not another moment.” The silky webbed appendages moved down my bare back. “I could not be without you.”

“And that’s it. That’s all. You simply expected me to trust you?”

“Yes.”

He left me there, and left the door panel unlocked. After a moment, I got up from the sleeping platform and went looking for him.

Noarr’s ship was small, and stripped down to only the bare essentials. It only took a moment to locate the helm.

He sat at the com console, where he was relaying a message.

“How fares my ClanSister?”

My jaw dropped as I heard the familiar, warm voice of my ClanBrother, Xonea Torin.

“I retrieved her from the compound. She was injured, but will recover.”

“I have spoken to the Ruling Council. They have ruled to break the Choice between her and Duncan Reever.”

“I will let her know.” Noarr sounded angry.

Xonea wasn’t done being a pest. “Do you intend to Choose my ClanSister?”

I held my breath as Noarr paused. “If she will have me,” he said at last.

“Good. She needs a strong protector. I will welcome you as a ClanBrother, Noarr.” Zonea made a fluid gesture, reserved for adopted members of the HouseClan.

Noarr nodded. “How close are you to transitioning to this region?”

“Seven rotations. Possibly less. The Aksellans will arrive before we do. Will you be ready to evacuate the facility when we arrive?”

Noarr turned around and gazed at me before answering. “Yes.”

I went back to the room he’d given me, and felt like a complete idiot for the better part of the night. How was I going to apologize for what I’d said to him? Would he understand? Or had I destroyed everything between us?

The darkness parted as the door panel opened. “Are you feeling better, woman?”

“Not really.” Relief made me slide from the sleeping platform. “I owe you an apology. I’m sorry.”

“I know.” He stood in the doorway, staring at me.

“I had no idea you’d contacted the Jorenians.” I gestured to him. “Come in. We need to talk.”

“If I come in, Cherijo, I will stay.”

I knew what he meant. And I wanted what his voice promised. Not only to soothe away the pain and helplessness. Noarr’s voice called to my blood. Such a strong response, simply from hearing the sound of my name, those words …

Everything became absolutely, entirely clear to me.

I had a million questions, of course. Who wouldn’t? Yet it was time to let go of the doubt. To trust myself and him. To surrender to what had begun that moment we’d met.

“Come in.”

He came to me without another word. In silence I lifted my hands, felt his fins curl around my finger.

“I thought you’d betrayed me.”

“You don’t trust easily.”

That was the truth. “No.”

“Neither do I.” His flippers brought my fingers to his mouth, and he licked each one. “Do you trust me now?”

I didn’t have all the answers, but I’d take a chance. “Yes.”

“I knew, the first time I saw you.”

I frowned. “Knew what?”

“We would be together.” His tongue curled around my little finger. “Like this.”

Fascinated, acutely aware of the symbolism, I stared at him. The space between us became unbearable. I sensed it was my move, so I stepped forward. Pressed my body along his long, muscular frame. His strength against my softness made me release a low, delicious sigh.

Noarr’s voice spilled over me again.

“You want me.” Surprise and satisfaction blended in each word.

“Yeah, I do.” One word that opened a passage to a terrifying new world. His hand moved up my arm, and stroked it. I laid my head against his chest. “I always have.”

“I have wondered. How you would feel, how you would taste. I have tried to ignore it, yet you are always in my thoughts.” His flippers threaded through the long strands of my hair as he wound the soft mass around his fist. “I need you, woman.”

“Noarr.” A few brain cells were still working; I had to be responsible. Even if it meant turning away from him when he needed me the most. “I’m not protected.”

“I don’t want you to be,” he said.

And suddenly, neither did I.

Noarr’s expression remained hidden. Under my cheek, his pulse beat, heavy and rapid. My hand moved blindly to the fastenings of his garments. The warm skin I exposed was as hairless as his head. I stood on my toes, pressed my lips against his throat. Tasted his flesh with my tongue. Sucked lightly.

His entire body went tense. “Stop.”

I laughed a little. “No.” Reckless with new knowledge, I pulled his tunic off. The muscular surface of his chest under my palms only made me greedy for more.

He turned slightly so that the light fell on me, and proceeded to deal with my tunic. I watched him as he cupped one breast. “Pretty.”

A muted sound came from my throat as Noarr lowered his head. His mouth touched the swelling curve, the edge of his teeth scraped down, raking over my nipple.

Reality was on the way out the door. Fast. Too fast. The room suddenly tilted as his arm went under my knees and my feet left the floor. “Noarr—”

“Tell me later.”

“This is important.”

“Look at me,” he said.

The light from the corridor fell across his face. I looked. Hunger stared back at me, so dark and naked and deep that it took my breath away.

“Do you understand?” he asked me.

I understood. Noarr wanted me. Had to have me. Would have me, unless I said “no” right now. No one else, nothing else mattered to him.

I nodded.

He carried me with him to the sleeping platform. I brought one of his fins to my mouth, and delicately traced the edges with the tip of my tongue. His scent changed, grew darker as it blended with heat and perspiration. It created new, uncontrollable impulses that spread like wildfire. The emptiness I had ignored for so long now clamored with aching intensity. My hands fisted against his chest.

“Yes,” Noarr said against my hair as he lifted and placed me on the mattress. “Give it all to me.”

Dimly I heard my trousers rip as Noarr tore them from me. It didn’t frighten me. Excitement flashed bright strobes behind my eyes. Hard fins took and twisted my hair, used it to tug my head back, baring the sensitive zone below my jawline.

The abrasive caress of his teeth on my throat shook me to my heels. I muffled a cry of pleasure as he caught the delicate skin and bit down. His teeth left a wet, stinging patch behind as they moved to ravage and brand another spot. Then another. And another.

He lifted his head once to gaze down at me. “Your taste intoxicates me.”

Before I could respond coherently, his tongue ran from my chin to my breast, where he bit me again. Immediately he laved the stiff nipple with rough, slick strokes of his tongue.

“The light,” I gasped.

“Light?” His flippers were doing things to my body that I’d never imagined possibly.

“I want to see you. Watch you touch me.”

“No.” He hesitated for a moment. “I am shy.”

Him, shy. It made me smile first, then I laughed. “All right. No lights.”

His warm, hard body stretched over mine, and strong arms drew me in. “Do you care for me,
Waenara
?”

“Care for you?” After everything we’d been through? I hit him. “I
love
you, you stubborn, unmanageable idiot.”

Flippers cradled my face, tilted it up to his. “You are all I have ever loved, the only one I will ever love.”

“Then show me,” I whispered against his mouth.

He licked my lips. It made my blood heat, my toes curl, and my arms slide around him. A sense of relief and safety came over me, along with the deep, wrenching throb of desire.

This is where I belong. Where I’ve always belonged
.

Urgency made us fumble; Noarr became endearingly awkward and I wasn’t much better. We got better, though. His warm, smooth flippers seemed to flow over me, sculpting my body into a writhing mass of aroused nerves under flushed, damp flesh. His mouth trailed over my breasts, which seemed to fascinate him. He certainly bit them enough.

“Don’t do that,” I said, when the emptiness I needed him to fill became nearly unbearable.

“Very well.” His mouth traveled south. “May I do this?”

“I don’t …” A low moan came out of nowhere as he settled between my thighs, and suckled at a different spot. “Yes … oh, yes.”

The darkness blurred, everything rushed away, and my entire focus remained on the building pulse beneath his tongue. My hips lifted off the platform while my hands knotted into the linens.

He lifted his mouth for a moment, easing the emptiness temporarily by using the edge of his flipper to penetrate me. “Do you like this?”

“Wait.” Panting and trembling, I curled around him, my hands running down his smooth, hairless abdomen. I found what I wanted, and bent my head. “Better.”

Now he groaned against me as I explored how we fit in this juxtaposition. His limbs trembled as I took him deeper.

“Cherijo.” He pulled me around, separated my thighs, and came halfway into me with a slow movement. My vagina stretched, and I took in a quick breath. He went still at once. “Do I hurt you?”

“No.” I moved my hips up, trying to lodge him deeper. And still he wouldn’t move. “If you stop now, I’ll strangle you.”

He moved, pushing deeper into me. “I won’t stop.”

My hands clutched at his shoulders as he kept his word. I came almost immediately, bearing down on him as I cried out, and still he stroked my flesh with his. It seemed to go on forever. Then as I hurtled toward my next peak, he held me tightly and made a low, guttural sound. Liquid heat pulsed into me, and I shattered once more.