Engaging the Bachelor (Pulse) (14 page)

Her throat clenched as she pressed against him, and when he reached around her and swiped the rough pad of his thumb over her clit, a violent shudder overtook her. Breath rushed from her lungs, all control lost. Carson drove impossibly deeper. She craned her neck to see him. Eyes shut, jaw set, he reached a fevered pitch, riding her furiously, a fierce intensity overtaking him. It was unlike anything she’d ever seen before. She gave a fragmented gasp as he crashed into her. Her body tightened, her muscles squeezing his cock, and when he applied a bit more pressure to her sex, she broke.

“Carson,” she said with effort, as the most powerful explosion tore through her.

He growled and slammed into her once, twice, then stilled. “Fuck, yes.” His cock pulsed deep inside her, and as he panted against her back, his pleasure resonated through her. He held her tight, but she knew it wasn’t enough. When it came to him, it’d never be enough. She closed her eyes against everything she felt for him.

“Gemma,” he whispered. “You good?”

“Yeah,” she managed to get out. “You?”

He inched out of her, and she collapsed against the wall. “I should probably apologize for this.”

“But you’re not going to?”

“No.”

“Good. I don’t want you to.”

“You’re kind of a bad girl.”

“Told you so.” She worked to catch her breath as he discarded the condom and zipped his pants. His hand slipped between her legs, and he wiped her with a tissue. He tossed it into the trash, adjusted her skirt, and turned her to face him.

Her heart jumped into her throat at the tender way he was looking at her. How could he be so rough one minute and so gentle the next? He brushed her hair back and smoothed it from her face. “You are incredible.”

She readjusted her skirt. “More like a hot mess.”

“No, you’ve never looked more beautiful.”

“I looked like I was just fucked in the doctor’s lounge.”

He laughed, and pressed a kiss to her mouth. “That’s because you were.”

She looked around. How many doctors and nurses came in here for the same thing? Had Carson been in here with another woman? Her stomach soured at that thought. “We could have been caught.”

“Yeah.”

“You’re a good doctor, but a very bad boy.”

“You’re right.”

His stomach took that moment to grumble, and she laughed and poked his chest. “You need to eat.”

He inched back. “Did you make me your special turkey sandwiches?”

“Yes, and soup, which is probably cold by now.”

“But it was worth it.”

“Eat.”

He darted into the bathroom to wash up, and she opened the bag and pulled out his food. She had it all laid out for him when he returned.

“I could get used to this,” he said coming up behind her. He pushed her hair off her neck and pressed his lips against the sensitive spot that made her shiver.

Feeling emotional, because, yeah, she too could get used to this, she made a quick trip to the bathroom, and when she came back to find Carson watching her, his eyes locked on her every movement, his food untouched, she checked her watch. “I better get back to work.”

He captured her arm. “Stay for a bit.”

She nodded. “Okay.” Carson slid the chair out for her and she sat. He bit into his sandwich and she grinned when his eyes rolled. She kind of liked that he made a big deal out of something so simple.

“How’s your day been?” he asked, as if they were an old married couple checking in with each other.

“Busy. I’m hoping to get some jewelry made after my shift. What about you?”

“Busy, too.” He frowned and took a spoonful of soup.

“What?”

“You know, I like my job. I like spending time with patients, but dammit, administration is all over us to whip them in and out. This isn’t a factory, and I’m not a production worker. I want to spend time with the patients. One of the reasons I became a doctor was to help people, connect with them, you know?”

She closed her hand over his, her heart squeezing. “You’re a good man, Carson.”

They sat in silence for a while, and Carson finished his sandwich. “I’ll be glad to get out of this place, actually.”

“Is it better in other hospitals?”

He laughed. “Good point. With the current government, patients just aren’t getting the care they deserve anymore.” He took a spoonful of soup, and the door behind her opened.

“Carson,” a curvy woman with beautiful gray eyes and wavy brown hair said. Gemma recognized her from the bar. She came in for lunch every so often.

“Hey, Madison.” Carson wiped his mouth with the napkin she’d stuck in the bag. “Do you know Gemma?”

“You work at Score right?”

“That’s right.”

Grinning, Madison pointed to the takeout bag. “What do I have to do to get special deliveries?”

Carson made a face that suggested all kinds of horrid things. “You don’t want to know.”

Gemma whacked him, and when Madison laughed, Gemma decided she really liked her.

“I should probably get back,” Gemma said.

“I’ll walk out with you.” He looked as if he were going to say something else, but then tossed the garbage into the can and washed those big, skilled hands of his again. He guided Gemma out of the room and across the hall into the ER. One glance was all it took to see that the calm was over, and another storm had landed with a vengeance.

One of the nurses escorted a patient out of trauma room three, which was directly across from the doctor’s station, and handed him over to another nurse. “Cassie is going to take you to our sub waiting area while we wait for your strep screen to come back.” She said this with a smile, her tone soft and low, completely in contrast to the two nurses who rushed into the room they’d just vacated. Seconds later, they pushed a stretcher out of the room and through the ambulance doors. As no ambulance or vehicle was in sight, it appeared they were waiting for their patient to arrive.

“Shit, this doesn’t look good.” Carson stopped at the doctor’s station and grabbed at his stethoscope. He stood there for a moment, tapping it against his chest, and then took in a breath and turned to her. “Hey, could you just sta…” His eyes met hers, lingered, then something in his seemed to shift. “I’ll catch up with you later, okay?”

Gemma had been prepared to leave and let him do his job, but the need in his voice, the distress in his eyes, immobilized her. She backed up and looked around for a place to “hang out” without getting in the way. She found a relatively safe-looking spot by the restroom door and watched a nurse grab a portable machine with a bunch of cords hanging from it. She swung it around and headed for the room the other nurses had just left, giving Carson a report on the situation as she went. From her vantage point, Gemma was privy to their conversation.

“Four-year-old near drowning coming in by private vehicle. CPR in progress.”

Carson nodded. “Get an estimated time down?”

The nurse shook her head and flipped the lid on the machine. She punched the power button, waiting for it to boot up as tires screeched on the other side of the ambulance doors.

Carson adjusted the stethoscope around his neck and slapped the silver button on the wall. The doors slid open, and he strode to the car. Only seconds passed before he reappeared, his big, capable hands doing compressions on the patient’s small chest as he walked alongside the stretcher. A weeping mother and a pale, wide-eyed boy who looked to be around twelve or thirteen followed closely behind them. A nurse took them aside and explained what was happening, speaking in soothing, reassuring tones.

As if pulled by an invisible force, Gemma moved along the wall until she could see into the room. No one paid any attention to her as they worked over the small boy, starting IVs, hanging fluids, and attaching wires to stickers they placed on his still body.

Carson called out orders in calm, even tones, his eyes never leaving the child as the medications he ordered rushed through the little veins. She heard the word,
intubate
and her heart contracted for the family standing by. Several times she heard the nurse say “Stand clear! Delivering shock! Shock delivered,” and then Carson’s resolute order to resume CPR.

Carson had big hands, strong ones, but he moved with deftness, and a careful precision that held her attention. There wasn’t a single wasted movement as he delicately worked on the child. Gemma stood there stunned, admiring him as he moved like a fine-tuned instrument, and to her it seemed like she was watching a maestro conducting an orchestra rather than a doctor saving a patient’s life.

Her heart twisted. How could she ever have thought he took this job because he had a God complex? This was hard, strenuous work with long hours and little sleep, and there was nothing glamorous about it. He was as far removed from a rich, pampered, Southampton hottie as one could get. As she watched, she hugged herself and shook her head, her heart crashing in her chest with all the things she felt for him.

If she didn’t love him before, she sure as hell did now.

She’d never moved past a physical relationship before. Never wanted to. Until now.

Precious seconds passed and only once did the nurse look up at Carson from her post at the head of the stretcher with a question in her eyes. He gave one unyielding shake of his head and pressed on. Until…

“We have a pulse.”

Every head in the room swung around to look at the monitor. Gemma couldn’t see it from where she stood, but she felt the elation emanating from the room, heard the beep of the monitor verifying the rhythm of the tiny heart coaxed back from stillness, and a mother’s cries of joy.

The emergency crew shifted, regrouped to maintain that precious life. They moved about the room, adjusting equipment, hanging medications, and then she saw him. Carson stood beside the stretcher, head bowed over the small chest and the hand resting over it. And then he straightened, rolled his shoulders and went to the family.

The mother wept her thanks, encompassing him in a grateful embrace. He turned to the young boy who stood silent beside her, his eyes full of agony as he looked at his little brother. Only when Carson placed his hand on the boy’s shoulder did he look away. His Adam’s apple made a trip along his neck as he stared up at him.

“I…” He swallowed and tried again. “The waves were big today, and I told him to go back to Mom, but he…” He dashed his hand across his cheek and caught a tear. “I did CPR just like they taught us at camp, but I couldn’t…he wouldn’t…”

Carson bent down, bringing his face level with the boy’s. His hand tightened on the thin shoulder just enough to get his attention. “You did everything you were supposed to, and you did it correctly.” The boy sniffed and shook his head. Carson’s voice gentled. “He didn’t respond to us at first, either. Sometimes, it just takes a little longer. What you did for him on the way here kept his heart pumping blood and made it possible for us to do what we did.”

“Are…are you sure?” Hope shone through the tears in his eyes.

“I’m sure.” Carson gave him a final squeeze then went back into the treatment room, assessing the child again. Shoulders still tight, he turned and when his eyes connected with hers, his face softened.

“Gemma, I didn’t realize you were still here.”

“I just…”

“You shouldn’t be back here. You’d better get going.” Despite his words, he pulled her to him and just held her, those capable hands of his linked behind her back. His strong heart pounded hard against her face, and she felt tears threaten, her adrenaline still pumping.

She inched back. “Okay, um…are you coming by tonight?” They seriously needed to talk.

“No, I can’t.” He shook his head and avoided her gaze. “I actually have to go to the city. Some business to take care of.”

What the hell? Why all of a sudden couldn’t he look at her? Before the emergency, he seemed like he wanted to say something to her. Now it felt like he was pushing her away. What was going on?

“What kind of business?” she asked, even though he didn’t owe her any kind of explanation.

He hesitated for a moment. “Charity work, and some…other things.”

“Oh, okay.” That made sense. For the last month, they’d spent every possible moment together. No doubt he had to check in with his charity, oversee some business. But what were the “other things” he was talking about?

Chapter Thirteen

The whole month of July and the first half of August had flown by in a whir, no doubt because Gemma was so was busy working at Score, and when she had time off, she was busy making jewelry to fulfill all the orders which Diane planned to deliver at the end of summer, when she returned to Manhattan. She and Carson were still carrying on as if they were engaged, and so many times she wanted to talk to him, but could never find the right opportunity. Not only was he burned out at work, exhausted and disgruntled at the end of the day, he was spending less and less time in the Hamptons, and more and more time in the city. In fact, he’d been acting a little secretive, aloof even.

Then there was his family. Carson’s sister had stopped in for lunch a few times, and even though Gemma had tried not to, she couldn’t help but like her. The two had become fast friends over the summer. His mom, though, and the engagement journal she carried everywhere with her, were a constant reminder that this arrangement was a farce.

Honest to God, Diane was so excited about the engagement, and so accepting of Gemma, she had no idea how they were going to fake a breakup in two weeks without hurting her. Her heart squeezed. When she got into this, she hadn’t thought about the consequences, or about how many people they’d wound. She’d assumed his parents would hate her, and they’d be relieved when Carson dumped the girl from the wrong side of the tracks.

Unfortunately, they liked her, and she liked them. Yeah, they were pushy and fake, and Carson and his dad had a strained relationship, but they genuinely cared about him.

But now here it was, the day before her engagement party. Problem was, the closer she got to his mother and sister, the further Carson seemed to pull away.

From the working side of the bar she poured herself a soda and sat on the stool. She leafed through the newspaper, and glanced up when Andy entered.

“So,” Andy said. “Tomorrow’s the big day.”

“You’re coming right?” Gemma said.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

“You know, you don’t have to be so happy about it.”

“Why wouldn’t I be? My best friend is celebrating her engagement.”

Gemma rolled her eyes. “You know it’s fake right.”

“Yeah, but you don’t want it to be.”

Gemma’s head came back with a start. “Andy—”

“It’s me you’re talking to, Gemma. I know you, and you’re in love with him.”

“I’m…” Dammit. “God, Andy this wasn’t supposed to happen. I wasn’t supposed to fall for him. But I did, and now I’m a mess.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, I just…” She exhaled and took a sip of her soda. “Everything was going so well, but the last few weeks, he’s been acting different. Making trips to the city and being secretive.”

“I know work is getting to him. Everyone is under a tremendous amount of stress with management breathing down our necks. That’s probably all it is.”

She wasn’t so sure, but asked anyway, “You think?”

“Yeah, and I also think you need to talk to him, tell him how you feel.”

She planted her elbows on the bar and pressed her palms to her eyes. “What if he doesn’t feel the same way?”

“What if he does?”

She shook her head and dropped her hands. “He told me he wasn’t interested in a relationship.”

“Yeah, I heard the same words from you numerous times, and now look at you.” Andy grabbed her hand and gave a comforting squeeze. “Things change, Gemma. People change. They grow up. Learn to trust.” She smiled. “The right guy can do that.”

It was true. She never let herself get too close to anyone, because in the end, everyone left. But Carson was different. How could she not fall in love with a man who protected her, put her needs, feelings, and well-being first? Honestly, she hadn’t anticipated that she’d fall so hard for him. No, that was a lie. She
had
anticipated it. Carson was the only man she’d ever let in, the one man she knew she could fall for, which was why she’d been so reluctant to play house—or doctor—with him.

“You think he’s the right guy?”

“I was worried at first. He has a reputation. But you know what? I’ve not seen him so much as flirt with anyone since he’s been here, and I’ve seen the way he looks at you.”

“Maybe he’s just a really good actor.”

“Maybe he’s in love.”

Her heart beat a little faster in her chest. Was it possible that he’d fallen for her, the way she’d fallen for him, and his recent behavior had to do with work, and not preparing them and others for their staged breakup? She wasn’t so sure, but she knew if she didn’t do something about her feelings, she would spend the rest of her life wondering “what if.”

She wrapped her hands around her waist. When the heck had lust turned to love? More importantly, what was she going to do about it?

“You need to talk to him.” Andy said again.

“I know.”

“Okay, I have to go. I’ll see you at the party tomorrow.”

Andy left, and Gemma grabbed her purse. She pulled out her phone and, summoning every ounce of courage she owned, drafted a text to Carson, insisting they talk tonight before his late shift. Her finger poised over the send button when the sound of heels clicking on the floor gained her attention. She glanced up to see Audra coming her way. Gemma straightened, not liking the smirk on the woman’s face.

“Gemma,” Audra said, tapping perfectly manicured nails on the countertop as she made herself comfy on a bar stool.

“What can I do for you, Audra?”

An odd noise came from Audra’s throat, a maniacal little chuckle. “For starters, you can leave Carson alone.”

“Audra—”

“Do you care about him?” Audra asked.

“Yes.”

“And his family?”

Gemma eyed her, unease tightening in her stomach. “What are you getting at?”

“If you care about them, then you’re going to do exactly what I tell you to.”