Enigma (8 page)

“Kate, whose jacket are you wearing?” my mother asked.

It was typical for my mother to notice the one giveaway, but I quickly thought of something.

“This is Brett’s jacket, Mom. If you paid him any attention, you’d know the type of clothes your son wears.”

“I think we should all head to bed,” my father said.

Halfway up the stairs, I heard my mother say, “Maybe you should go shopping Kate; surely you should have a jacket of your own.” She hadn’t believed me, but she had no proof that I was lying either.

I closed my door, removed Jack’s jacket, and smelled it. His addictive scent was all over it. Eventually, I laid it on the bed, undressed, and moved to the bathroom. When I stepped under the warm water, I couldn’t help sighing. There was just so much to absorb. Jack had revealed so much of himself to me. If I hadn’t seen him demonstrate his unnatural abilities, I would have never believed him. I should’ve been afraid of him, but I wasn’t; he was the best and most exciting thing that had ever happened to me.

I stepped out of the shower and dried myself off before putting on my silk, lace-trimmed nightgown. Then, I opened the balcony doors and peeked next door. Jack straddled a sun lounger by his pool and looked up at me. I smiled, and he waved. I waved back, trying my best to look sexy. Wanting to leave him yearning for me, I walked backward and closed the doors.

That night, I lay in bed reliving my night with Jack, and drifted off to sleep with breathtaking thoughts.

CHAPTER 8

W
hen I woke up the next morning, I was afraid of an interrogation from my mother about Jack’s jacket. She was suspicious and I’d have to be on guard until I was able to reveal that Jack and I were a couple. I felt good about the day ahead, until I heard a howling cry.

I flew downstairs and ran into the living room. Brett was slumped over the couch. He looked worse than I’d ever seen him before. My mother and a doctor were in a corner talking quietly, and left the room as I walked over to my brother.

“Brett, why have you done this?” I asked, feeling completely let down.

I’d hoped that moving would make Brett stop partying and drinking, but I was wrong. He had let me down again, and for the first time, and I realized that he had no one to blame but himself.

“Kate, please help me. You’re the only one who cares . . . the only one in this family who gives a crap about me!” he shouted, his eyes welling with tears.

“Brett, I’ve defended you for so long now, but I can’t do it anymore.”

His desperate, desolate eyes were begging for reason. “Please, you don’t know what it’s like to be me— a constant failure that Dad is ashamed of. I’ll never be good enough for him because I can’t be who he wants me to be.”

“You don’t have to be anyone but yourself, Brett.”

“You’ve heard the way he talks to me, like I’m nothing; like I’ll always be nothing. When he comes home cranky as hell because he’s had a bad day, I’m always his target.”

I held Brett’s hand. “I know; he can be a real bastard. But you’re the one who’s always drunk. You must know that drinking won’t solve anything.”

Brett pulled his legs up to his chin and buried his head. “I can’t do it anymore. I hate living with him.”

“You need to forget Dad. He’s barely here anyway. Why don’t you stand up for yourself? Prove him wrong. You need to show him that you have everything going for you and more.”

“I would if I could, Kate. But I’m useless at everything.”

I pulled his hands away from his face. “You’re only acting like you’re useless because you’re always getting drunk.”

“I don’t know how to stop. It’s the only thing that makes me feel better,” Brett whispered, before sobbing into my shoulder.

There was no hiding from this situation that had gotten out of control. Over the past year, I’d tried to help him, and had often been foolish enough to believe that he’d had a breakthrough, only to find him slumped on his bed in a drunken stupor in the middle of the day. Even though I pitied Brett, it was time to be cruel in order to be kind.

“Don’t you understand that the only person who can truly help you out of this mess is you?” I asked.

“I need you Kate.”

“No.” Brett looked up at me, his gray eyes full of tears. “You have to help yourself now. I can’t protect you anymore.” I took a step back trying not to allow the tears to escape.

“Kate, please don’t give up on me,” Brett begged, and as he slid off the couch, he grabbed at my ankles. He was more of a mess than I’d initially thought.

My mother entered the room and, seeing Brett in a heap at my ankles, flew over to him, ready to defend his drunken behavior again. I ignored her scolding look.

“Kate, why would you taunt your brother like this? What has gotten into you?” she asked. Her face was pale and gaunt, her cheekbones more prominent than ever. She looked as much of a mess as Brett. But I wasn’t about to let her defend Brett after all the help and support that I’d offered him when she didn’t even want to deal with him.

“He’s the one hurting himself, Mom. He’s drinking to block out his pain and insecurities. He just admitted it.”

My mother’s cheeks flushed. “Kate, you’re over-reacting and upsetting your brother. I don’t know what’s gotten into you lately but you’ve been acting differently,” she said as she pulled Brett back up onto the couch.

“That’s so typical of you, Mom—finding someone else to inflict your guilt on. Don’t you think it’s about time you stepped up and took responsibility for your son?” I asked, allowing my pent-up hurt and emotions to explode.

I stormed off, wiping away my tears, and I could hear Brett desperately calling out to me like an upset child, but I couldn’t turn back. Brett needed this push. If he didn’t have me to lean on, then my parents would have to get him the help he needed.

Despite putting up a hard front, I knew that I’d be keeping a close eye on my brother. We’d always had each other’s backs and I would always be there for him, even though he probably hated me right now. With my emotions at the boiling point, all I wanted was to find Jack so he could hold me and offer me the comfort I needed. But I had to stay home—for Brett’s sake.

I sat at my dresser, holding a wad of tissues just in case my tears surfaced again. As I looked in the mirror, I thought about my mother’s comment and my actions over the past few days. As much as it hurt to admit it, I had been acting differently. I’d found my hidden confidence and had used it to rebel against my mother and Brett.

I picked up my brush and fixed my hair, trying to rationalize my sudden change in character. But all I could think about was Jack. He made me feel good and I hungered to be with him. As I sat silently, there was a knock at the door.

“Come in,” I said reluctantly, and continued brushing my hair.

“Kate, you need to come downstairs,” my mother said.

“What for, Mom? It’s your turn to deal with Brett now. He’s your responsibility, not mine.”

“I know. You’re right, Kate. I’m accepting responsibility for Brett. I’m taking action to help him, even if it will humiliate our family.” My mother’s voice was wavering and I looked up and saw that she was upset. “That’s why you have to come downstairs. You need to say goodbye to your brother,” she said, fighting back tears.

I threw down the brush and flew out of the chair. “Why? Where’s he going?” I asked, as nausea settled in my stomach.

“Brett needs professional help, Kate. I can’t offer him that and neither can you. He’s going to a rehabilitation center.”

My stomach was churning. “So, you’re sending him away? Out of sight out of mind,

huh?”

My mother began to cry, but I didn’t feel sorry for her.

“Stop it, Kate! Don’t you think it’s hard enough for me to see my son destroy himself?” she asked, allowing her tears to dramatize the situation.

“Mom, please don’t send him away. We can get him the help he needs at home. I’ll do anything; I’ll do everything,” I begged.

“Doctor Nash feels that Brett is beyond that point. He needs to be in a place where he can get the help he needs.”

“What about school? He has to graduate.”

“Kate, let’s not worry about that now. He can always repeat.”

I pushed past her and ran downstairs, determined to see my brother before he was sent away. I ran up to Brett with my arms outstretched, and he crumpled into them, sobbing like a frightened child. I held him tightly just like I had done so many times before.

Brett grabbed my shoulders and looked up at me. “Kate, don’t hate me. Please don’t hate me. You’re the only one who cares, the only one who’s ever looked out for me.” It was hard for me to fight back my own tears, but somehow I found the strength.

“I could never hate you, Brett. I love you. You’re my annoying little brother, but you need professional help this time. It’s time to fight this addiction.”

Brett’s grip on my shoulders weakened and his voice was sullen. “I’m scared, Kate,” he whispered, wiping tears away with the sleeve of his sweater.

“You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. You can turn your life around if you really want to, Brett. I know you’ll be all right if you put in the effort. I’m going to be in the first row watching you graduate.” I held him close and discreetly wiped away a tear.

“I want to change. I want to be a success,” he said sincerely.

I looked into his hollow eyes and held his face in my hands. “Then do it. Prove me right and everyone who’s lost faith in you, wrong.”

I held him for a few moments longer, fighting back the urge to cry, before it was time to let him go. Doctor Nash was right: Brett had to get help from people who knew how to help him. Despite my mother’s lack of effort, she couldn’t offer him what he needed, and unfortunately, I couldn’t either.

After Brett left, I ran up to my room and cried. I thought about how pitiful Brett looked and how I probably lied when I told him that he would be okay. He was frightened and I wasn’t sure if he was strong enough, but I had to remain positive and believe in him, for his sake.

Deciding to call it a night, I crawled into bed, and as I slid my hand underneath my pillow, I felt something. Sliding it out, I found a red envelope with my name written on the front. I turned over onto my back and opened it.

Dear Kate,

I can’t wait to see you again.

Jack

P.S. I love you

Through the negative thoughts that clouded my mind, Jack had managed to bring a smile to my face without even being near me. He was in love with me and there wasn’t a shadow of a doubt that I was in love with him too.

T
he next morning, the house was strangely quiet. It was seafood and salad night, and Flo was probably at the fish market. As I walked into the kitchen, I saw the remnants of my father’s rushed breakfast and a note from my mother on the fridge. She’d left for couple of days to visit her favorite spa with friends.

My parents were carrying on with their lives, and I wondered how they could be so selfish. I couldn’t stop worrying about Brett, but my parents were acting like they didn’t have a son in rehab. I wanted to know if Brett was okay, but I wouldn’t be able to see or call him until he reached his first milestone, which could take days, weeks, or even months, according to Doctor Nash. I hoped that it wouldn’t be the latter. For now, I had to distract myself with my own life, and my life was Jack. I was so grateful to have him.

I didn’t have Intro to Art until the afternoon, so I decided to go to the mall. I wasn’t like my mother and Heather, who both loved to shop, but I desperately needed a complete wardrobe overhaul.

Every Friday afternoon, my mother and Heather would go to the mall after their spray tans and full-body massages and bond over Tiffany’s jewelry while sipping non-fat lattes. I knew my mother missed that now that Heather was gone. I, on the other hand, only shopped only when it was necessary, and this was one of those times. I finally had a boyfriend and a reason to want to take more pride in my appearance, so I took my father’s credit card and for once, I was going to use and utterly abuse it.

I arrived at the mall and headed straight into a swimsuit store. The shelves were full of bright colors, pastel summer shades, and an entire corner consisting of those that were more daring. One minute I was looking at a respectable one-piece swimsuit, and the next, I was contemplating a tie-side, thong bikini, which would hardly be worth wearing.

Normally, I would play it safe and opt for a one-piece swimsuit, but it was time for a change. The last time I wore a bikini, which I’d borrowed from Heather, guys ogled and made me feel uncomfortable. Since then, I refused to expose myself, but this time was different. I wanted to get Jack’s attention, and had to face the fact that a full swimsuit probably wouldn’t do the trick; I’d need something low-cut to keep him interested.

I wandered over to the sexy corner and pushed the bikinis along the rail. I couldn’t see myself wearing any type of thong in public, let alone in front of my toned boyfriend, so I decided to try on two standard bikinis and another one that was a little risqué (at least for me). I took the swimsuits into the fitting room and tried them on, scrutinizing my reflection in the floor-length mirror. I was pleasantly surprised at how I looked, and admired my pale skin.