Enlightened (31 page)
Slipping one of my white silk shoes off, I popped the small coin under the inner sole and replaced it on my foot. ‘Wow, thanks, Stella. Your super organisation knows no bounds!’ I joked. I wasn’t particularly superstitious, but where this wedding was concerned I’d do everything in my power to get it running smoothly.
‘Just “something new” now then. My dress is new. So are my knickers. Will they do?’ I asked with a lift of my shoulders as I saw my mum flush at the mention of my wedding pants. Technically I had two pairs, one I had on now and then a second ‘special’ pair for later. They were fabulous, Nicholas was going to love them.
Fishing around in her handbag I assumed Mum was avoiding eye contact because she was a bit embarrassed, but she suddenly produced a small, black velvet box. ‘Your dress and, uh hum … underwear are new, but Nicholas asked me to give you this as a special something new.’ A gift? Now? Taking the box I opened it to reveal a beautiful pair of earrings. Silver drop studs, or perhaps platinum knowing Nicholas’ fondness for extravagance, finished with a small diamond on the end of each. Simple yet elegant and just stunning.
‘Wow,’ Louise breathed from beside me. ‘They are gorgeous. I don’t suppose Nicholas has any rich brothers, does he?’ she enquired, only to be met by an imperious look from Stella and a giggle from me. ‘I mean
other
rich brothers, obviously.’ Louise huffed in embarrassment, before holding out her hand for the simple studs I had been wearing so I could replace them with the new ones.
‘Ready now?’ Stella enquired with a smile. Drawing in a deep breath I nodded, touched the earrings with a smile, and then broke out into an excited grin. Oddly enough, I wasn’t nervous at all. Nicholas was the man for me, I had no reservations whatsoever. In fact, I couldn’t wait.
‘Let’s get this show on the road, George! Take my girl to get married!’ Mum cried giddily.
Nicholas
Trying to get the white rose straight in my buttonhole I glanced across at Nathan and smirked when I saw him having the exact same trouble – the only difference was that he was attempting to do it one handed, so was also cursing colourfully under his breath, and being so violent with the flower that it was a wonder it hadn’t snapped in two. As I watched my brother I noticed his adapted jacket; the tailor I’d hired last week to adjust Nathan’s suit to fit his sling really had done a brilliant job. ‘I forgot to ask, who was that on the phone earlier? Nothing important about today?’
Pulling the flower out and dumping it on the counter, he gave me a fierce look. ‘You’re the one getting married, why do I need a fucking flower?’ But nothing could upset my good mood today, not even Nathan’s false irritation so I merely chuckled in response. ‘It was Stella on the phone,’ he replied, before picking up the rose again and having another reluctant attempt.
‘Why was Stella calling? Is Rebecca OK?’ I sounded a bit breathless as a sudden burst of irrational nerves hit me square in the centre of my chest. In reply Nathan looked at me, rolled his eyes, and laughed, which just left me standing there blinking at him in confusion. ‘You two are fucking perfect for each other,’ he muttered as he finished his rose and gave it one final pat. ‘Rebecca was worried about you as well. Stella was just checking all was good at this end so she could put the bride-to-be’s mind at rest.’ Thank God for that. A huge wheezing noise escaped my lungs as normal breathing resumed.
Walking over to the mini-bar in the room Nathan used his left hand to remove the glass stopper from a decanter half full of whisky and poured two glasses. Handing one to me he returned and picked the other one up for himself before swirling the amber liquid several times and turning to me with a small smile. ‘You ready, brother?’
Truth be told, I couldn’t be
more
ready. I was so excited that my stomach was churning and twisting itself into knots, but this wasn’t the slightly sickening nerves I often got before I played a concert, this was an eager, excited type of anxiousness and I was relishing every single second of it. ‘I am,’ was the only reply I could really say without getting overly emotional with Nathan, who would probably want to avoid such sentimentality.
It seemed my fears about Nathan not wanting me to get overly expressive weren’t warranted though, because the next second he swigged down half of his whisky, cleared his throat, and then looked up at me with a rather serious expression on his face. ‘Nicholas, before we go down, I just wanted to say …’ pausing he cleared his throat again and shifted his bandaged arm in its sling before resuming eye contact, ‘I … I’m really fucking proud of you.’ Shaking his head he gave me an ironic twitch of his eyebrows, as if he too knew just how out of character it was for him to be this demonstrative. ‘After all the shit you went through,’ he hesitated again and I couldn’t help but jump in. ‘
We
went through, Nathan. You were there too.’
Shrugging he shook his head again, ‘Yeah, but you had it far worse than me. Anyway, I’m not trying to put a downer on the day, I just wanted to say I’ll always have your back Nicholas, you know that, but you and Rebecca, it just seems meant to be. I’m so pleased to see you so settled and happy.’
Unable to stop myself I stepped forwards and gave my brother an attempt at a man hug. With his arm in a cast it was a bit awkward, but I at least managed to half hug him and pat him on the back. ‘It goes both ways, Nathan. I’m proud of you too, brother.’
Once I had stepped away we stood there speechless for a few seconds until it was apparent that our little emotional outpour was over.
Trying to lighten the mood a bit I stepped back and grinned, ‘You’re not going to give me a talk on the birds and bees as well, are you?’
Smirking, Nathan doubled checked that he had the box with the rings in it by patting his inside pocket, then gave me a thoroughly smutty look. ‘Nah, if the conversations I’ve overheard between Stella and Rebecca are anything to go on I think you got that stuff down, bro.’ Blinking as I digested his words my mouth opened to speak, but I didn’t have a clue what to say. How did you respond to information like that?
‘Fucking hell, Nicholas, I’m joking, man! Close your mouth. I’ve never overheard them talking about us. Although I’m sure they do, that’s what women do, apparently.’ Shaking his head in amusement Nathan then winced, but still had a slightly cocky smile on his face, ‘God only knows what Stella says about me. Christ, I dread to think.’ He glanced at the clock on the mantelpiece and jerked his head towards the door. ‘Enough girly chit-chat. Let’s go and get you married.’
Sucking in a large breath I felt the back of my neck prickle with apprehension as the little hairs stood on end. I didn’t want to turn around. I knew that if I did I would see a room full of people staring at me, most of whom I’d never met before in my life. I’d heard the shuffle of feet and quiet conversation as the guests had been filing into the elegant wood panelled room and taking their seats over the past twenty minutes, but I hadn’t turned around once. I hated people watching me, it was quite ironic really, seeing as my trade of concert pianist meant I had to deal with crowds regularly, but there you go, it was just one of my odd quirks. Thank God Nathan was stood by my side keeping me calm or I might very well have sought out Rebecca and forced her to forget about the wedding and elope with me instead.
Nathan had told me that deep breaths would help, so that’s exactly what I did as I stood staring fixedly at the top of the stairs, waiting for Rebecca to emerge.
In through my nose, out through my mouth. In through my nose, out through my mouth.
The set-up of our ceremony was slightly different to the usual; instead of coming in the back of the room and walking down the aisle to me, Rebecca would descend the ornate carved staircase in front of me until she was by my side. This way everyone had the pleasure of the view over the lake out of the windows. Of course it also had the added bonus of meaning that I could keep my back to the crowd the entire time, which was just fine by me.
As predicted, the ceremony only involved fifty people. Most of the gathered revellers were Rebecca’s family and friends with the exception of one row for my chosen few guests. Not that I minded, to be honest this was all for her benefit anyway, all I wanted was for Becky to be my wife.
I wanted the world to know that she was mine and that I intended to have her for the rest of her life. Now it was just a matter of her arriving …
‘We’re going to be late,’ I groaned as Louise faffed with my hair for the hundredth time and insisted on re-pinning the bit behind my left ear.
We had arrived at the hotel in plenty of time and had been in the specially allocated preparation room for nearly an hour now. I’d spent at least twenty minutes chatting to the registrar who ran through the order of events again and put my mind at ease, and now Louise was puffing, tweaking, and beautifying us all again.
‘You’re the bride, its traditional to be a little late.’
Frowning, I fidgeted before gently batting her hand away. ‘Well I don’t want to be late. Stuff tradition, let’s go.’ The real reason for my urgency was that I knew Nicholas would be going crazy if I were even a minute or two late. To a stranger Nicholas must appear calm, demanding, dominant, and together, but after all the time we’d been together I knew the layer below that façade now. He
was
dominant and demanding, but Nicholas could also be incredibly insecure, especially where it came to me. I was probably one of the only people who saw that side to him. Apparently I was his weakness. Mind you, he was mine as well.
‘OK, everyone in order!’ Stella instructed. ‘Louise, you’re going first, then me and Jo and then you and your dad.’ We shuffled ourselves into a little procession as Louise pulled open the door to our suite. Seeing as I didn’t have a train on my dress that needed lifting I’d decided to be slightly mean and make my bridesmaids go first into the room. That way the attention wouldn’t be immediately on me. Claudine, my sister’s nurse, was also with us at the moment, just in case Jo changed her mind and wanted to return to the balcony area to just watch.
My heart was pounding. Not from nerves about marrying Nicholas, I was actually more concerned about falling down the sodding stairs. Entering via the beautifully carved staircase was going to make a great entrance to the ceremony – only if I could avoid my usual clumsiness and not tumble down them. A nervous giggle rose in my throat as I tried to imagine the look on Nicholas’ face if I bowled down the steps and landed in a shrieking heap of silk and lace by his feet. Taking in a deep breath to reduce my near hysteria I stepped up to Dad, who held out the crook of his arm to me and gave me a wink. ‘You look beautiful, Rebecca. I’m so proud of you,’ he murmured, his eyes glazing up as he rapidly blinked to clear them.
‘Thanks, Dad.’ My voice was thick with emotion, but I was determined not to cry again. I wanted to look my best for Nicholas now, not tear stained and puffy; besides, Louise was like the make-up mafia and would probably demand we delay our departure so she could re-do me if she saw so much as a single tear stain on my cheek.
It felt quite surreal as we stepped out on the walkway that ran around the perimeter of the room below. I didn’t dare look down yet, but there was a static buzz in the air that told me that even though it was quiet, there were lots of people packed into the space. Seeing us emerge onto the balcony, the harpist began to play to announce our arrival. Picking my entrance song hadn’t been too tricky, Nicholas and I had both agreed on Pachelbel’s “Canon” as a beautiful choice, but selecting the musician had been an absolute nightmare. Nicholas was such a musical snob. He didn’t want a pianist because he said he’d be able to pick up any mistakes they made and it would ruin the day for him. Violins were out too, because his father used to play one. So that left us a little limited, I mean you can hardly walk down the aisle to a trumpet fanfare, can you? Now that I was preparing to descend the stairs and the soothing tones of the harp were surrounding me I was glad we’d opted for it; the floaty, gentle nature was perfect for calming me.
The staircase curved around two walls as it descended into the room below, so it was split into two flights, the top being the longest, before it curved with just seven steps taking me to the ground floor. As I placed my foot on the top step the bridesmaids in front of me suddenly drew to a halt and I saw Stella briefly lean her head into Joanne before flashing me a concerned glance. Jo was turning, coming back up the stairs, her face stricken and eyes wide. ‘I’m sorry. I’m ruining everything. Everything. I can’t do it. Can’t.’ Her rambling told me that Joanne was having a little moment and instead of speaking straight away I pulled my sister in for a tight hug and simply held her to me. ‘Just having you here has made this day perfect, Jo-Jo.’ I murmured softly into her ear. ‘It’s totally fine, nothing is ruined. Go and enjoy the ceremony from the balcony with Claudine and I’ll see you after, OK?’ I heard Jo snuffle and then she leant back and nodded, a small smile on her face.
‘OK, love you, Becks,’ she murmured, and despite all my good intentions not to cry I felt myself welling up.
‘Love you too.’
Claudine flashed me a reassuring nod and smile before helping Joanne back up the stairs and around to a seated area overlooking the main room. Taking a deep breath I heard the harpist continuing her loop of the song and nodded to Louise and Stella, who were now side by side, that we were good to continue.
It was only once I was down the main staircase that I allowed myself my first proper glance around. First my eyes swept the room and I saw that it was decorated like a fairy tale with lit candles on every available surface filling the air with my favourite scent of orange blossom. Tasteful ribbons and flower arrangements were scattered about, containing the white of my dress and the blue of the bridesmaids. Next I took in the smiling faces of my family and friends, coming to rest briefly on my mum, who was smiling, but patting the corners of her eyes at the same time, still looking relatively composed – looked like the waterproof mascara had come to the rescue again.
Finally as Dad guided me onto the last seven steps I allowed myself to look at Nicholas. My heart either stopped, or was suddenly beating so fast that I couldn’t feel it, one or the other, I wasn’t sure, because he looked utterly stunning. The wedding suit he wore consisted of dark grey tailored trousers, almost black, a lighter grey jacket with tails, crisp white shirt, navy blue silk waistcoat, and matching blue tie. Wow. He looked even better than he did in his concert suit, and that was a pretty big statement. His posture was perfect too, as always, confident and upright and his dark hair was actually behaving today, pushed neatly off his forehead.
As soon as my eyes met his blue ones my world pretty much stopped turning. The love, desire, devotion, and intensity in Nicholas’ gaze was truly breath-taking. Our eyes remained locked as Dad delivered me to his side. Leaning in to place a kiss on my cheek Dad then took my hand and placed it in Nicholas’ outstretched palm. ‘Look after my little girl,’ Dad murmured, his voice sounding all odd and squeaky. ‘As if my life depends upon it, sir,’ Nicholas replied, before my dad gave Nicholas a pat on the shoulder and took his place beside Mum in the front row.
I know everyone tells you to try and stay in the moment so you can remember all the details of the ceremony later, but I just didn’t manage it. As soon as my eyes met Nicholas’ my entire focus had been on him. I hardly remember speaking when prompted, but I must have, because the next thing I knew there was a round of applause from the chairs behind me and Nicholas was leaning in to place a heated kiss on my lips. ‘That makes you mine now,
Mrs Jackson
,’ Nicholas hummed against my lips before deepening our contact until my head was spinning and I heard wolf-whistles from the crowd.
Mrs Jackson.
I was married. To Nicholas! A huge grin split my lips and I flung my arms around his neck, giggling happily as he spun me around several times. Placing me down he ducked his head by my ear. ‘You look absolutely stunningly beautiful, Rebecca. You’ve made me the happiest man alive.’
Leaning back I could see the same depth of feelings in his eyes as must surely be reflected in mine. But right now I was too overcome to speak so I bit down on my lower lip to stop me crying and simply nodded instead.
My eyes were drawn to the wedding band on Nicholas’ finger as it caught the light from the large windows, and I couldn’t help but smile. That was such a sexy sight. Our wedding ring on his finger, showing the world he was mine. Letting out a contented sigh I glanced down at my own beautiful rings; to match my engagement ring the wedding ring was a simple platinum band, but it had a central line of tiny diamonds encrusted within it. It was absolutely beautiful, and picked by Nicholas, which made it even more special to me.
‘Let me lead you out,
wife
,’ Nicholas said with a smirk, an expression I couldn’t help but reflect.
‘Please do,
husband
.’ It was cheesy, but I was pretty sure we’d be using those terms quite a bit in the weeks and months to come.
Oh God, it was
that
time in the proceedings. The speeches by both the Jackson brothers. The day had been completely unbeatable so far, quite simply the best I could ever have hoped for. But to say I was nervous about this part was an understatement. My dad had gone first, and his speech had been quite funny and light-hearted, perfect really, but now it was time for Nicholas and Nathan’s moment in the spotlight. Two of the most emotionally scarred, blunt, and forthright men I’d ever met were about to give speeches in front of my entire family and all my friends. I literally felt like I might throw up at any moment.
We’d had a brief break in proceedings while waiters went around with top-ups of champagne and small canapés, but the time was almost up now and I watched anxiously as Nathan took several deep breaths, straightened his tie, and rolled off his shoulders. Oh God, he was already frowning, which wasn’t exactly a great start, was it? My stomach tumbled with nervous energy, I desperately wanted to save Nathan and Nicholas from this ordeal, but both men had been adamant that they would follow tradition and do it. My eyes followed Nathan as he stood up, flashed an intense, thin smile at Stella, and then knocked his fork against the side of his champagne flute to silence the room.
Here we go then.
I’m not sure if a fork being banged against a glass is always this effective, or if the gathered guests just took one look at Nathan’s imposing figure and decided to shut the heck up quickly, but the room went silent almost immediately, as Nathan bent to carefully lay his fork down on the table and then rose to his full height.
‘Good evening, everyone.’ Nathan’s eyes briefly flitted across the gathered guests and a tiny smile quirked the corner of his mouth. ‘I run large business meetings every week, but I think it’s fair to say that this is the first time I’ve ever addressed a room where everyone is actually listening and not bored senseless praying for the coffee break.’ It was a mild joke, but Nathan’s intro actually got a flutter of laughter from the room and I felt myself marginally relax.
‘For those of you who don’t know who I am, I’m Nathaniel, Nicholas’s older brother and apparently the best man today. I’m afraid I’m not much of a joker, so instead of stomach clutching laughter, what I will promise is that I’ll keep it short and sweet so you can get your dinner and free drinks.
‘Before I say anything else, I’d better do the formal part first.’ Raising his glass slightly, Nathan turned towards my mum and dad with a small smile, ‘Please let’s all take a moment to appreciate and raise our glasses to Rebecca’s wonderful parents, Leanne and John, for what has been thus far a wonderful celebration on such a special day. Seeing as Nicholas and I have no family left to speak of, they have been especially considerate with all the help and support with the organising of this special occasion. Please raise your glasses to Leanne and John.’
The room replied in surround sound chorus and my mum flushed as red as the wine in my dad’s glass.
‘I can truthfully say that I never saw myself or my brother settling down. Without wanting to dampen the evening I shall merely say that life was difficult for us growing up and left us both a little emotionally closed off.’ Nathan paused, before looking straight at me with his bright blue stare. ‘But then Nicholas met Rebecca.’ Nathan paused again, and I have no idea why, but the skin on my arms rose with goose pimples as he stared at Nicholas intensely and blinked several times. ‘My brother has always been quite withdrawn, but suddenly there was a dimension of happiness to him that I’d never witnessed before. Not to mention the fact that he wouldn’t stop going on about this amazing woman he’d met.’ Nathan’s amused tone for this last statement made the crowd laugh along with him and I saw an affectionate flush warm Nicholas’ cheeks as he reached for my hand and gave it a firm squeeze.
‘I think it took Rebecca a while to warm to me, but now that I’ve gotten to know her and her family I have to say I can completely understand where Nicholas’ happiness comes from. These two are a perfect match for each other.’ My chest compressed until I was almost struggling to breathe from the happiness. Lifting up his drink Nathan cast another furtive glance in my direction, ‘I believe part of the formality also requires me to tell you all how gorgeous the bride and bridesmaids look, so at the risk of upsetting my rather possessive brother I must compliment his new wife on how beautiful she looks today. Rebecca, you are simply stunning,’ he said with a curt nod of his head, ‘and the same goes for the bridesmaids, all three of you look beautiful.’ I loved how he included Joanne in his toast even though she was hidden away with Claudine at the rear of the room. Flashing a grin at Stella Nathan briefly licked his lips, ‘Luckily I’ve already bagged one to take home tonight.’ Choking on my champagne my eyes flew open – did he just say that? But as I began to panic that some of my more elderly relatives might not understand that he was dating Stella a burst of laughter rang around the room – they thought he was joking. Phew.
‘So, with all of that said I’m not going to linger any further, what I’d like to do is hand over to the real best man here today, my brother Nicholas; one of the strongest, bravest, and most resilient men I’ve ever known.’ Again my entire body tingled with goose pimples at the volume of emotion in Nathan’s tone and I felt tears prick at the backs of my eyes. ‘But first I’d like to ask you all to raise a toast to our happy couple, Nicholas and Rebecca, the new Mr and Mrs Jackson. Cheers!’