Enraptured (8 page)

Cleo and Harrison served our dessert, which pleased young Max tremendously. “
Em eye, crooked letter crooked letter eye, crooked crooked letter eye, humpback humpback eye!” he exclaimed with a happy clap of his hands.

“You’re right!” I praised, tickled that he remembered my homespun teaching. We all dove into the decadent dessert, and then Jonathan insisted that we all head out to the terrace.

There, his guitar waited. He turned to Alex. “Play for us, Uncle Alex.”

He glanced between Drew and me before he agreed. He walked over to the chair next to the roaring outdoor fireplace on the veranda. He played Garth Brooks’
The Dance
, a song that had once connected Alex and me because of our losses.

And now we had lost each other as well.

It hurt my heart as I listened to him sing, but I didn’t have much opportunity to feel sorry for myself when Jonathan insisted that Drew and I needed to dance. Drew slid easily to his feet and held out a hand. I gulped hard as I rose to join him.

He pulled me close to his body, to sway slowly to the song. Jonathan asked Millicent to dance with him, and I was able to lay my head on Drew’s shoulder and avoid looking at Alex entirely. The pain in his voice was obvious, and it hurt my heart to hear it.

As the song drew to a close, Drew tipped my chin up to plant a long, loving kiss on my lips, gently nudging my lips apart with his tongue, to demonstrate to the world he every right to kiss me as passionately as he dared. I could barely look him in the eye when he declared we should change partners for the next song. Jonathan wrapped an arm around my waist and Alex launched into a more up-tempo tune so that my new son and I could two-step with prowess around the terrace.

Drew did his best to keep up with Millicent, and by the time the song ended everyone was laughing.

Everyone… except for Alex.

That changed when Jonathan perched next to him. “Teach me a new one,” he asked of his favorite uncle.

“Sure, buddy,” Alex grinned.

As I took my seat next to Drew, he took my hand into his. He quietly watched his brother and his son interact as he stroked my hand with his thumb. I knew he was assessing things, working them over in his head, looking for cracks in the veneer.

I also knew he wouldn’t find anything. Alex truly loved Jonathan, it was clear every single time he looked at him.

And what was more,
Jonathan adored Alex every single bit as much as he loved him.

It was painfully obvious
that Drew really didn’t know what make of it.

When Max dozed in Millicent’s arms, they decided it was time to call it a night. We walked them to the door. I got more hugs from Max and from Millicent. Finally Alex turned to face me. “Thank you for inviting us,” he said softly.

“Thank you for coming,” I replied. I knew it hadn’t been easy for him. And I knew he did it for Max and for Jonathan. I reached for the hug first and he didn’t deny me. For one brief moment, he gripped me so tight it took my breath away. I couldn’t think of anything to say to make it better, so I said nothing in a vain effort not to make it worse.

He pulled away and turned to Drew. He offered his hand only, which Drew accepted. Neither said a word, even goodbye, before Alex turned away and walked out the door. Drew closed it behind him and turned back to Jonathan and me.

Jonathan said nothing as he threw his arms around his dad. The gesture momentarily took Drew by surprise, before he wrapped his strong arms around Jonathan and lifted him up in a big bear hug. “Thank you, Dad,” Jonathan said.

“Anything for you, buddy,” he said softly as he smoothed Jonathan’s hair with one hand.

This was the Drew I liked best, the one I even loved… the one who adored his son and put him first above everything, especially a petty sibling rivalry. It was the first time I breathed easy the whole night. After Jonathan went to his room, Drew followed me to our bedroom. After he closed the door behind us, I turned to thank him for keeping it mostly civil, but I didn’t have an opportunity to say anything before he lifted me up and pushed me up against the wall. His mouth crushed mine before I could ask what he was doing.

His finge
rs were rough as he pulled my skirt up my legs. I could barely breathe as his tongue drove forcefully into my mouth. He yanked my underwear down effortlessly. He broke the kiss long enough to position himself in between my legs.

“What are you doing?” I eked out as I braced against him to keep from falling.

“Making love to my wife,” he growled. I felt him release himself against me, hard and throbbing with need. “Unless you want to turn your back on me again, and spend all night dreaming about another man.”

“You know that’s not what happened,” I said. “I was mad at you…
,” I trailed off.

“And you’re in love with him,” he snarled. “But you married me.” He lifted me up and carried me to the bed. We fell together. “I did what you asked,” he said as he propped himself over me. “Now what are you going to do for me?”

“I’m not going to make love to you under duress,” I snapped.

“You’re right,” he agreed as his hand slipped between my legs. “I don’t have to force you to fuck me,” he said as his fingers slid against me easily, and I gasped out loud. “We both know you always wanted this. You forfeited everything, even your precious Alex, just to feel me inside you one more time. Now you have me forever. Don’t take a page out of his play book and play victim now, Rachel. You’
re too strong for that.”

I couldn’t think as he eased a finger inside of me. I whimpered as I felt him part my thighs with his knee.

“Give me your passion, baby,” he urged. “Give me everything. Your anger. Your hunger. Everything you think you need to hide from the world, you can give to me. You can be anything. I don’t judge you, I want you. All of you.”

He kissed me like he was intoxicated by the taste of my mouth. Heat rose around me until I felt engulfed by it.
“Drew,” I gasped as he branded my body with his touch.

“Tell me you’re mine,” he begged. “Mine alone.”

I couldn’t think straight. Was this another test? Who could be sure anymore?

But one thing was sure. I had made my choice. “I’m yours,” I uttered.

He growled deep in his throat as he kissed me. He thrust himself inside me, riding me hard as he was overcome with need. “My Rachel,” he whispered into my mouth. He ground himself into me until I was bucking against him, a scream locked in my throat. He didn’t stop until I was coming hard, and then he followed shortly behind with a triumphant cry.

He fell to my side, sweaty and breathless. Within minutes he was asleep, partially dressed, and convinced – once again – that he had won.

By the time I woke up Sunday morning, Drew and Jonathan had prepared me breakfast in bed. Drew was back to the perfect newlywed husband, doting and attentive without a hint of artifice. We spent a lazy day at home, where he focused mostly on Jonathan. They played catch in the back yard while I read a book and caught some sun. It was our last weekend before Elise returned from the East Coast, so we decided to keep it low key. We watched a movie, we played some games. And when we went to bed, Drew was gentle as he touched me, taking his time to kiss me and caress me until I was the one reaching for him.

The week ahead of us was jam packed. Jonathan and I were scheduled to head back to FEI, to continue his education with his father’s company. I had my February checkup with my doctor, and true to his word, Drew cleared the afternoon just to be there with me. He asked questions as he stood close to me, my hand in his, the very picture of a loving father and devoted husband. Any outsider would believe that he loved me and our child, and this was one of the most magical times of his life.

I was reluctant to head back to the office and jeopardize this tenuous peace we had managed to attain. Every time I was anywhere near Alex, Drew felt the need to draw a line in the sand, to establish the hierarchy. With Alex at the office almost daily, I knew that things were due to get awkward quickly, and sadly I wasn’t wrong.

I arrived at FEI with Jonathan that Thursday morning. Our office was filled with flowers and gift baskets, and his office now included wedding photos and a family photo right on his desk.

Alex had taken over a corner office just down the hall. I could hear him talking from where I sat at my desk, and the timbre of his voice warmed my soul.

But he had made his choice and I had made mine, so there was no going back now. We were civil if we passed in the hall, as if the last year hadn’t happened at all.
The only pictures on his desk were of Max and of Nina, so I could only assume he had decided to delete any memories he created with me from his personal databank. It hurt, but it was probably best for everyone.

He and Alex circled around each other like lions in the brush, looking for any visible
vulnerabilities to use to their advantage, but remained mostly civil that first day. It gave me hope that perhaps they would be able to move beyond their conflict, if nothing else than for the sake of their family’s company.

All those hopes were dashed Friday afternoon, when
Jonathan and I headed into office so that we could go with Drew for lunch. We walked into an intense and private conference with Alex. Drew already had a tumbler of whiskey on his desk, which surprised me. It was early in the day for him to be drinking, and nothing about our week thus far had driven him to drink at home.

I was immediately apprehensive as
I took my seat next to Jonathan. “Is everything okay?”

Drew turned to both Jonathan and me.
“As you know, Alex has decided to learn those things about the business he rejected when Father was alive.”

Alex shrugged.
“Better late than never.”

Drew chuckled
humorlessly. “Indeed. So I was just going over certain tasks and assignments to help him achieve his goals, so that he doesn’t have to go behind my back.”

“I wasn’t aware that was what I was doing,” Alex murmured. “I am as open a book as you are.”

Drew clearly didn’t buy that. “Then why turn down my suggestion, again, to go to Mexico? Why not play to your strength, working with the horses and building our stables, than skulk around here like you know what you’re doing?”

“One, I have no
interest to go to Mexico, nor to work with anything affiliated with your good friend, Senator De Havilland. That hasn’t changed nor will it.”

“Stop being so damn idyllic, Alex. This is business.”

“If it’s so important, why don’t you go to Mexico, Drew? Take the whole family. Make it a vacation.”

“That sounds like fun!” Jonathan decided at once. “Can we, Dad?”

Drew’s jaw clenched as he stared at his brother. “Horses were always your specialty, little brother,” he commented coolly. “I simply wouldn’t have your expertise.”

Jonathan was undaunted. “
I can teach you everything Uncle Alex taught me.”

My eyes shot to Alex’s. I understood the dangers posed with the businesses in Mexico. I suddenly understood that Alex’s comment was really a dare, one that Drew was not ready to accept.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” I interjected. “There’s too much to do here closer to home.”

Jonathan nodded as he accepted my answer. “You’re right.” Then his face lit up like a Christmas tree. “Hey, I have an idea. Why doesn’t Alex work with us? I’m learning about the business anyway. And there’s no better teacher than Rachel.”

Alex’s face was expressionless as he answered. “I suppose the best way to learn about our business and this company is under the tutelage of a proper educator.”

My eyes widened as I stared
between Alex and Drew. Were they freaking serious?

Drew drained his glass before he continued.
“Seeing as how Jonathan is here a couple of times a week to do exactly what you wish to do, it likely would be far more expeditious if you all work together.”

I gulped. Throwing us together was t
he ultimate test and he knew it. Was that why they entertaining Jonathan’s innocent suggestion when surely nothing good could come from it?

“
It sounds like an awful lot to take on, Jonathan,” I dismissed immediately.

Jonathan pouted.
“It could be fun. Just like on the ranch, at the stables.”

Drew’s eyes met Alex’s. “Yes. Just like the ranch,”
Drew agreed. “A family should be close,” he replied before he glanced my way. “Isn’t that right, darling?”

I said nothing. I merely glared at him.

Jonathan turned to me. “It’ll be fun! Come on, let’s do it, Mom.”

Those wide hopeful eyes made it nearly impossible to say no.
“It’s a lot to think about,” I sidestepped with a smile. “I think I’d like to speak to Drew privately before I commit to anything.”

Jonathan knew what that me
ant. His face fell immediately. Alex was quick to stand. “Come on, buddy. Lunch is on me today.” He looked between Drew and me. “Let’s leave your parents to talk.”

I grimaced slightly.
He avoided my eyes completely as he herded Jonathan out to the outer offices.

I turned to Drew with a hiss. “Are you crazy?”

Drew’s jaw clenched as he surveyed my face. He leaned back in his chair. “Is there a problem?”

“You know damned well there is, Drew,” I snapped.
“It’s only going to complicate everything for everyone.”

“Everyone except Jonathan,” he pointed out. “
He’s not going to understand why putting you and Alex together might be … awkward. You’re his mother. Alex is his uncle. This is just an extension of the dinner party. Family unity and all that, everyone playing together nicely like we all really give a damn.” He poured himself another drink and drained it in one gulp. “This could not come on a worse fucking day. Elise picks him up in less than four hours, and you know she’s going to throw a wrench in the works.”

“Let me guess. Your brilliant plan to move her across the country failed.”

His mouth hardened into a thin line. “I guess there’s no appeal in her working for a living when she can sponge off me for the foreseeable future.” he muttered. “She stays right here in Los Angeles, in ‘a manner to which she has become accustomed,’” he added bitterly. “And she gets partial custody of Jonathan, which puts more of his money in her pocket as well. At this rate the only hope I have of getting her talons out of my hide is if she finds a bigger, better sugar daddy.”

“Drew, she is his mother,” I tried to reason, but he slammed the glass on his desk.

“Stop with the Madonna martyr shit, Rachel! She doesn’t give a damn about Jonathan, she never did. Have you really forgotten the debacle with Justin Deneke last year? He could have died. As well as Max. And you,” he added, his jaw clenched angrily. “Sometimes I think that’s the only thing that will satisfy her insatiable need for revenge.”

My heart sank as I remembered that horrible afternoon when Justin had gotten Jonathan high on synthetic marijuana, which resulted in both Max and I nearly drowning. Yet I still felt I had to give her the benefit of the doubt. She was a mother after all. “She probably felt that she couldn’t tell him no. He hated everyone at that point. She took the wrong route to reach him by trying to be his friend rather than establish boundaries. But I don’t think she did it with the intent of hurting anyone.”

“Bullshit,” he said in a lethally calm, low voice. “She was trying to cozy up to Justin’s parents because they are rich and famous and make her look better by association. It’s always about her, Rachel. Always.”

I sighed. “Alex told me that she didn’t have a good relationship with her parents. That was her example to parent her own children. It’s unrealistic to expect more from her, Drew. She needs to learn just like everyone else, through mistakes and failure.”

He chuckled. “You’re unbelievable, Rachel. You still defend her, even when she’s trashing you to everyone she meets. To her, you’re the gold-digging whore who turned the heads of not one but both of her former conquests. Do you have any idea what that’s doing to her ego right now?”

“I don’t care,” I answered simply. “Her opinion
of me is none of my business.”

“That’s very enlightened,” he said.
“And foolish.”

My stomach recoiled from the stressful conversation. I rose from the chair. “I’m going home,” I declared. “You guys really need to figure out how to untangle your relationship, because you’re strangling everyone to death with this unnecessary bullshit.”

I spun on my heel and stalked from his office. I thought he might follow me, but I made it all the way home without any sign of him. I ate a light lunch of soup and crackers before I escaped outside to sit on one of the lounge chairs, sucking up as much vitamin D as I could.

That was where Alex and Jonathan found me when they arrived an hour after I had. Jonathan was concerned as he approached. “Dad said you didn’t feel good. Are you okay now?”

I nodded. “Just needed to cut the day short, hon. Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” he said. “I’ve got plenty to do here.” He glanced back at Alex. “Thanks for lunch, Uncle Alex.”

Alex nodded and we watched Jonathan disappear into the house with Yoda right on his heels. It was the first time Alex and I had been alone since New Year’s Eve, and butterflies exploded in my stomach as he walked around the fence and approached me where I sat. He perched on the chair opposite mine. “You sure you’re okay?”

“No,” I answered honestly. “You know that if we work together, Drew is going to make my life miserable. He’ll constantly be testing both of us to make sure that there’s nothing left between us, and torturing us if he finds that there is.”

“And is there?” Alex wanted to know.

I squeezed my eyes shut. “I can’t keep having this conversation, Alex.
”

“Why did you ask me for dinner, Rachel?”

“It’s what Jonathan wanted,” I answered quietly.

“Is that all?” he persisted.

My eyes met his. “What else do you need?”

He gulped back any answer as he looked toward the pool. “I’m scared for you, Rachel.
For you and for Jonathan. And the more I learn, the more scared I get. There’s a lot of shady stuff going on, and I’ve only scratched the surface. Drew thinks he’s untouchable but eventually it’s all going to come back to bite him in the ass. I’m there at that office every day, not because I want to be, but because I don’t know how else to save you.”

“You could have saved me if you had answered just one of my phone calls last year,” I reminded. He turned to face me. “I needed you, Alex. And you left without a word. You never even told me goodbye.”

His eyes shined bright. “If there’s one thing I can never say to you, it’s goodbye.”

My heart ripped at the seams time
had only just begun sewing. “Then why leave at all?”

“I don’t know. I was hurt. I was stupid. Turns out I’m every bit my father’s son, just like Drew. I tested you even though I knew you’d fail.”

I closed my eyes. “I did fail you, Alex. And I’ll regret that for the rest of my life.”

His eyes had softened by the time I looked back into his face. “Then we’re even.
Because I’ll regret leaving you for the rest of mine.”

My stomach twisted
with the angst of our situation. “So where do we go from here?” I asked softly.

“I don’t know,” he muttered as he ran a hand through his hair. “All I do know is that I can’t make the same mistake twice. I can’t leave you again.
Not when the stakes are this high.”

I snickered.
“Seems like the stakes have been high ever since I opened Drew’s first email.”

The events over the past two years since then lay between us like scattered debris.
“I don’t regret it,” he said in a voice so quiet it forced me to look at him. “I got to love you for a while. And that was more than I deserved.”