Erotic Refugees (8 page)

“
Sorry,” Eoin muttered,
beginning to feel, as he quite often did around Jenny, like a stain
under a shoe.

“
Say goodbye to your
father, Damien,” Jenny said briskly. Damien, only caring that he
was going to a party, gave a happy wave as they passed. Eoin
stepped back as she opened the gate and ushered Damien through it.
She shot Eoin a parting scowl and hooked the gate closed before
they hurried off.

Eoin stood in the yard with the
laughter of children ringing out around him and saw his plans for
the day deflate like an old balloon. He felt quite useless, a man
who couldn't even remember when he would see his own child. A
thoroughly rubbish father.

He watched a few mums as they
moved through the yard, gathering up their offspring. One of them
was wearing tight jeans under a tiny orange skirt, and a crisp
white t-shirt that didn't leave the curves of her body. Eoin was
staring at her, feeling sorry for himself, and started wondering
what her child week might be. When suddenly something flashed into
his head with blinding clarity.

He held his breath in shock as
it unfolded before him—the perfect idea for an Internet service. It
was simple and obvious, something he would definitely have used
himself had it existed. And now it was sitting in his head, fresh
and fully formed.

Eoin's foul mood lifted and he
hurried out through the gate. He straightened his sunglasses and
made for the steps that led to the street above with an unexpected
spring in his stride. He would need to inform Rob, right now, and
work out the details. This was simply too good an idea to keep to
himself.

He pulled out his mobile and
started on a text message, glancing up every few seconds to make
sure he wasn't about to hug a tree or wander into the path of a
car. His fingers tingled with anticipation as they danced across
the screen. He pressed send and shoved the phone into his pocket
with a grunt of satisfaction.

Maybe this day would not be
such a miserable washout after all.

Chapter
10

“
So,” Kajsa said,
standing by the open window with a duvet pulled around her. “The
day is lovely. I thought we could make some late lunch, go out to
the park?”

Rob's breath jammed in his
throat. He stared at her from the bed, feeling suddenly a great
deal more naked than he actually was. What was this? Was she trying
to plan things with him? Since when did Kajsa plan things with him?
It must have been because he'd been seeing a lot of her lately,
mostly due to him being home and bored a lot. Could she have
misinterpreted that as actual interest?

It did put him in a bit of a
bind though, as he had no reasonable excuse not to hang out with
her for a few hours. His mind spun with effort but nothing
resembling an excuse emerged. She had turned around and was
watching him and he knew he was waiting too long to answer. In the
next few seconds some coherent sound had better emerge from his
lips and get him off the hook, although what those sounds were
likely to be he had absolutely no idea.

Then, like an angel’s voice
from Heaven, his mobile phone beeped with a new message. “Oh,” he
said brightly. “I'd better get that!”

He scooped his jeans from the
floor and tugged the mobile out of the pocket. A message from Eoin?
Oh Eoin, you fucking beauty!

Rob made a show of reading the
message with a concerned expression and nodding a bit. He put the
phone away.

“
Sorry Kajsa, my friend
Eoin's in some bother, needs me to come with him to, um, to
Uppsala.”

Kajsa pulled the duvet tightly
around her. “Oh. I thought we could maybe go for a walk later—”

“
You know, I'd love to,
but not now, obviously.” Rob was already moving, pulling on his
jeans and trying to spot where the rest of his clothes were to
facilitate a quick get-away. He did feel bad, but not so bad that
he'd think about it for more than ten minutes. Thirty,
max.

“
Yeah, fine,” Kajsa said.
“I guess I'll just do that washing then.”

Rob grunted to indicate that
was probably a good idea. He pulled on his clothes in record time
and said his swift goodbyes. She mumbled something from the kitchen
and then Rob was out the door, hoping he hadn't forgotten anything
important that would force him back into that den of burning
shame.

He emerged into the sunshine,
buttoning his shirt, feeling a bit of an arsehole. A lot of an
arsehole, actually. Maybe he should just stop seeing her entirely,
especially if she kept it up with the doing-stuff requests. Yeah,
he probably should. But not now. Later.

Because now it was home for a
quick freshen-up and some new clothes, then out to meet Eoin and
discover what staggering Internet concept the dry man from Dundalk
had dreamed up.

Rob leaned out over the wooden
rail and spat. He watched the glob as it spun like a tiny binary
star all the way to the rocks below. He nodded, satisfied, and
turned to Eoin.

“
That's it then? That's
yer world-shattering idea? A calendar?”

“
No,” Eoin said
patiently. “It's not just a calendar, it's a tool for managing your
social life. You can track your own kid weeks and your
girlfriend’s, or whoever you want. You just log in and do an update
when changes happen to your schedule and then everybody knows when
you're free and when you aren't. We can even link it to Facebook or
to dating sites. It’ll be a big net of interlocking schedules all
over the city, all those fun-seeking single parents with money to
burn. Throw in some flashy graphics and we're done. I’d say the
idea alone will advertise the thing for free.”

Rob was silent as he began to
see what Eoin was on about. And as much as he would have liked to
diss it some more, he found he couldn't because it didn't actually
sound so bad.

“
Well, it could work I
suppose. We can sell advertising space to all those baby things. Ye
know, pregnancy magazines, pram shops, all that.” He grinned,
beginning to see the point. “And we call it
kid-week.com!”

“
Nope,” Eoin said. “It
should be barn-vecka.com. You know, 'kid week' in Swedish. Or maybe
even one of those dot-nu addresses.”

Rob thought about it. Since the
domain name “nu” mean “now” in Swedish it had a feeling of
immediacy about it, a certain kitschy energy. He nodded.

“
Barnvecka.nu it is then!
Good work there Eoin.”

He patted Eoin on the shoulder
and bit into his ice-cream. The bite though was a bit too hard, and
he could only watch as chunks of chocolate shell tumbled into the
abyss. “Damn it. Let's hope that's not a sign.”

They turned and walked on, Rob
leading the way along Monteliusvägen which was his favourite corner
of Stockholm. It was a wooden walkway that wrapped around a cliff
face, giving a fine view of the Old Town, the water that surrounded
it, and the buildings of the city centre. Passing boats cut their
foamy Vs in the water below and it was all ridiculously serene and
scenic. Rob never tired of it.

“
It won't be that much
work,” Rob said. “We can use standard web components. Unless we do
it in Flash, of course, but we’ll still need some graphics. Know
any graphic designers?” Eoin shook his head. “Well that's our next
job then. Find us a pixel pusher.”

They edged around a group of
round tourists who were pressed up against the railing, pointing
cameras at the view and at each other. They kept on going, with the
rock face to their left and the fence and sheer drop to their
right, until the wooden path came to an end. Eoin made to turn back
but Rob stopped him.

“
Wait up, where ye goin'?
The best part's left!”

Eoin looked surprised but
followed as Rob led the way off-road, through some bushes and up a
rocky slope. After a few breathless minutes they scrambled over a
lip of granite and emerged into the open on a great slab of rock
that was speckled white and brown like the back of an enormous
whale. A fat mast was embedded in the rock, and the remains of many
drunken picnics lay scattered around.

They walked to the edge and
before them lay the wide curve of the city, more spectacular than
before, with the pastel-coloured houses of the Old Town catching
the evening light. Rob nodded in satisfaction as Eoin came up and
stood beside him. Eoin looked a bit shocked.

“
You know, I've been here
a dozen times, but I've never come this far. Jenny always turned
back where the path ended, and I always followed her. I didn't know
I just had to climb over the rocks to see this. Stupid, isn't
it?”

Rob planted his hands on his
hips and smiled as a breeze ruffled his hair. “Yeah, that Jenny
doesn't sound like the most adventurous bird in the world.” He
glanced at Eoin and considered making a comment about how
adventurous she was in the sack, but decided against it. Eoin
probably wouldn’t have appreciated that.

Now Kajsa, on the other hand,
would surely have known about this place. She definitely had no
problem trying out new things, and regarding being adventurous in
the sack, well…

He shook his head, dispelling
those thoughts. Thinking about Kajsa would only lead to guilt, and
guilt wouldn't help anybody, would it? He pondered the view instead
and it took a whole minute for him to grow bored with it and light
a cigarette.

“
Well, that's enough of
that then,” he announced. “Now I think we should pass that idea of
yours by the jury. Andy and some other lads will be at the Bishop’s
Arms in an hour. Ye want to go there for a bit?”

“
Well,” Eoin said. “I
can’t really go out tonight, but I suppose I can keep you company
until they turn up. So you won't have to sit in the bar by
yourself.”

Rob looked confused. “What's
wrong with that? You've never sat at a bar by yerself? Really? Just
took it easy with a beer and watched the female scenery?”

Eoin shook his head
emphatically. “Well no. It’s a bit sad isn’t it? I mean, I know
it’s more common in Ireland, but I wouldn’t do it there either. And
the Swedes would think you were some sad alcoholic who had no
friends. No, it’s not for me.”

Rob still didn’t get it. He
patted Eoin on the shoulder. “Well, lucky I’ll be there to keep ye
company tonight, eh?” He started down the other side of the slope
at a jog and shouted back over his shoulder. “And I promise I won’t
leave ye alone for a second. I’ll even come along to the toilet and
hold yer dick!”

Rob reached the path that led
back down to street level, where he turned to watch Eoin picking
his way daintily down the slope. “Come on then, lift those feet.
There's fortunes to be made and lost on Hornsgatan tonight!”

“
Right,” Eoin said with
an amused look as he stepped off the rock and onto the pavement.
“Well let's get started then. Lead on, Mr. Gates!”

Chapter
11

Friend one was already sitting
in the bar. He was a bearded, bald-headed American with a sharp
miss-nothing gaze. Eoin offered his hand. The man shook it.

“
Pleased to meet you,” he
said. “I'm Andy.”

Eoin nodded then looked around.
It was two-deep at the bar. “I suppose we can order from here.” A
waitress passed by, and he waved and made very definite eye contact
with her. But before he could open his mouth, she'd passed by.

“
Not that one,” Andy
said. “She can't see anybody at this table.”

“
What?” Eoin said.
Clearly this was some pub game he didn't get.

“
Never mind her, she's
just pissed at me,” Rob said. “I might have … dumped her a bit at
some stage. Not important now. Does make it hard to get a round in,
though.” He sighed and stood up. “Fine, I'll go bloody well fix
it.”

Andy and Eoin exchanged a few
words about where they both lived, and how long they'd been in
Sweden. Then they sat in silence for a while. Eoin, not a fan of
conversational silences, pulled out his phone. He felt Andy glaring
at him.

“
Sorry,” he said. “I'm
just checking some … stuff.”

“
Oh yeah?” Andy leaned
closer. “What stuff?”

Eoin looked up, feeling a bit
embarrassed, just as Rob plonked a pint in front of him and sat
back down. He'd heard Andy's question. “Tell him, Eoin,” he said.
Eoin didn't, so Rob jumped in and did it for him.

“
Dating site. He checks
it every ten minutes. Thinks I don't notice.”

“
Not every ten minutes,”
Eoin said. “I'm just waiting for a reply, that's all.”

“
Oh really?” Andy said.
“So what's your system?”

Eoin didn't know how to answer
that one. “Um, I … mail them?”

Andy gave his head an emphatic
shake. “No, no. You must have a system. How else you gonna get any
action? It's dog eat moose out there.”

The waitress passed by their
table again. She ignored their three empty glasses and moved to the
table behind them where she started clearing up.

“
Look, it's been going
fine,” Eoin said. “I’ve only been on Diamond Date a month though.
It's a bit hard to know what to write. Or how to long to wait
before asking them out. So, yeah, I suppose it's not really my
thing.”

Andy smiled. “Right then,
listen up Eoin. I got this whole dating thing down. I recommend a
three-pronged approach.” He extracted three chilli nuts from his
bowl. “So this is me, my regular profile.” He placed one nut on the
table. “Now with this one I only write in English, and I only reply
if they write back to me in English. And over here”—a second nut
went down—“I have another profile. Still me, photo and all, but I
only write and reply from here in Swedish. Oddly enough the ladies
I mail from here will often switch directly to English once they
discover I'm from the US, even though I write in Swedish to them.
And on we go, me writing Swedish and them writing English back.
Like sixty percent of the time that happens.”