Essence Of The Heart (The Royal Tutor) (8 page)

 

          He offered his arm, and carried a lantern to guide them back through
the darkened castle halls. As they walked along, her heart felt lighter than
she could ever remember. Alexander was very quiet. She turned to look at
him, and again that feeling that something was wrong came to her - like he
was holding something back.

 

          When they reached her door, she turned to face him. She sensed a
sadness in his smile, and again felt there was something he wasn't telling
her.

 

          His voice was quiet as he spoke. "Louise, I am really sorry about
what I did to you."

 

          She lowered her eyes. "I'm sorry, too, for all the mean things I've
done to you." She said it before she even thought about it. It was as if her
heart spoke for her, but it felt good to say it.

 

          He smiled at her. "I promise I will never do anything mean to you
again."

 

          She looked up at him. "Even if I am awful and stupid?"

 

          He shook his head. "Another person's actions should never dictate
my own. Besides, I will never forget this night, and I thank you for it."

 

          She nodded and smiled weakly, thinking about how unkind she had
been. "I'm just glad we could be friends."

 

          His voice quivered as he replied. "I just wish it could have been
longer."

 

          Something in the way he said it struck fear into her heart. What did
he mean? Something was definitely wrong. He held out the lamp to her.
"Here, you take this. I will be fine getting back to my room."

 

          He turned to leave, but she reached out and grabbed his arm.
"Alexander, what is it?"

 

          He turned back, but did not look at her directly. "Like it, or not, you
got your wish of having me out of your life. Your father has asked Sir
Phillip to be your escort from now on. He has commanded me to leave for
military training by noon. He said, after last night's events, he wanted
someone better to be your escort. He said now that you are eighteen, he
wants..." Alexander paused, choking back the emotion in his voice before
he continued. "He wants someone more worthy of you."

 

          With that, he looked into her eyes, smiled sadly, reached out and
kindly touched her face, and was quickly gone into the shadows of the night.

 

 

 

 

          Louise stood there in shock. She thought she had gotten Alexander
back, only to lose him again. She wanted to call after him, to make
everything right. She couldn't catch her breath, let alone call after him. Not
for pride was her tongue silent this time, but for shame. She was ashamed
that her father felt Alexander was not worthy of her, for, if anything, she felt
unworthy of Alexander. She was sickened by the knowledge that she, too,
had felt that way. That was why she had treated him badly all of those
years. She had always felt she was better than he was, yet the goodness she
had found in him made a mockery of her superior feelings. It had been
easier to hate him than it was to wade through the confusion in her heart.

 

          As the reality of it all stripped away the facade she had built up over
those many years, she collapsed, sobbing, into her pillow. Elizabeth and
Marina heard her and came to her.

 

           "Princess, what is the matter?" Marina begged to know.

 

          "My father is sending Alexander away!"

 

          She could hardly utter the words. They shot like arrows at her heart.
The girls tried to stay and comfort her, but she sent them back to bed. She
needed to be alone, to think, to contemplate. As her tears grew weaker, her
resolve grew stronger. She could feel a change come over her, a change she
liked - and she was not about to give Alexander up now.

 

          At first she was angry and determined to confront her father. She
would announce that if he was going to send Alexander away, she would
leave this place and go back home. But she reconsidered. She had to be
careful giving her father an ultimatum, for he might accept it, and she had
better be ready to follow through with her threats.

 

          Perhaps she should just demand he let Alexander stay. She
considered that she was in no position to demand anything. She could not
afford to anger her father, risking his reinstatement of the whipping he had
intended for Alexander.

 

          She contemplated Alexander's relationship with his parents. Why
couldn't she get along with her parents as he did with his? Then she
thought about the difference in how they each treated their parents.
Alexander was always respectful and considerate of his parents. He listened
to them, and in turn, they listened to him. He never did anything to break
their trust in him, and their trust only became stronger.

 

          That was it, then. Trust begets trust. Respect begets respect. It was
so obvious. But how could she get her father to let Alexander stay? She
couldn't disclose her feelings for Alexander, or her father would send him
away for sure. She had to appeal to something else.

 

          She never went to sleep at all, but by the time the sun was well on its
ascent into the sky, she was on her way to visit with her parents. It was late
in the day, but after the long night, her parents, Duke Reginald, and Lady
Margaret were barely sitting down to breakfast. She greeted them warmly
and smiled at them. Her father scowled at her suspiciously. "Did you get
some food after the ball?"

 

          Louise nodded as she took her place at the table. "Alexander was
kind enough to make sure I had something to eat. Speaking of which, where
is Alexander?"

 

          She looked around the table pretending to wonder at his absence,
though she knew perfectly well where he was. As she did, she nonchalantly
picked up some food to eat as if Alexander was only a secondary thought.

 

          Her father looked her straight in the eye. "I have commanded him to
leave by noon for military training."

 

          Louise frowned. "But, Father, is that wise?"

 

          The king growled. "What do you mean by that?"

 

          Louise shrugged as if it was no big deal. "Who will be my escort?"

 

          "I am having Sir Phillip stay to be your escort," he said
triumphantly.

 

          "But won't you be concerned for my safety?" Louise asked.

 

          The king looked confused. "What are you driving at, Louise?"

 

          "Father, why did you send me here?"

 

          The king looked uncomfortably over at Duke Reginald and Lady
Margaret. He was obviously embarrassed to say he thought his own
daughter was out of control. By the look on his face, Louise knew he
thought she was going to mention it. He stumbled over his words as he
spoke. "Well, it's just..."

 

          Louise interrupted him, turning to Duke Reginald and Lady
Margaret. "Father felt that if I were to be queen someday, it would be good
if I could get out and meet the people."

 

          The king breathed a sigh of relief. "Exactly!"

 

          "But that is exactly the problem," Louise said.

 

          The king looked at her narrowly. "In what way?"

 

          "Alexander is a native son here. The people love and respect him,
and I feel totally safe when I travel with him. I'm not so sure they would
feel the same way about an outsider like Sir Phillip, especially where he is
so wealthy and many of the people here are so poor."

 

          The king's expression showed his thoughts, and Louise continued.
"I suppose you could always send an army with us everywhere we went, but
I'm afraid that would only make the people suspicious and unfriendly."

 

          The king turned to Duke Reginald. Duke Reginald nodded his
agreement. "It is true, Sire. I could more than guarantee her safety if she is
with my son. I am not sure I could say the same about an outsider."

 

          The king still paused. Louise took a bite and chewed slowly, as if
she didn't have a care in the world, disguising her anxiety. She saw her
mother reach out and touch her father on the arm. He turned to look at her,
and she nodded reassuringly.

 

          "All right," the king said, "he can stay with you until you don't need
him as an escort any more. But then he is to report for military duty."

 

          Louise was about to complain, but she caught a glance from her
mother telling her to let well enough alone and they would deal with the rest
later.

 

          She shrugged. "That's only fair."

 

          She was so excited she could hardly eat. Her father noticed her lack
of appetite.

 

          "Aren't you hungry, Louise?"

 

          She smiled at him. "You've got to admit, Father, that I didn't eat
that long ago." He smiled at that as she continued. "But someday I've got
to have you try raspberries with milk and honey candy."

 

          Her father and mother exchanged questioning glances while Duke
Reginald and Lady Margaret exchanged knowing glances. Perhaps they
knew about Alexander in the kitchen after all.

 

          By the time the meal ended, it was getting close to noon. Louise felt
her insides doing flip-flops before it was over. Her heart was racing. In due
time the king and Duke Reginald rose to go. The king needed to adjust his
orders. Lady Margaret had tears in her eyes as she gave Louise a big hug.
Her mother winked at her. "Well done, Louise," she said.

 

          Finally, Louise was free to head for the balcony overlooking the
courtyard - the one from which Alexander had poured the bucket of mop
water on her. She wanted to be where she could observe without being
seen.

 

          She saw Alexander with Captain Matthew Johnson and his first
officer Lieutenant Jason Richins of the Royal Guard, preparing for
departure. They obviously were to escort Alexander to the military training
camp. Louise liked Captain Johnson and Lieutenant Richins. They were
both kind men and very loyal to her family. Though they were very
professional, neither one was beyond stopping to visit with her.

 

          The cook came out with some food for the men that were leaving,
and what Louise was sure was a bag of candy. Many members of the court
were there. The people were visibly upset as the three men mounted. It was
obvious how much they loved Alexander. Instead of making her hate him,
as it would have before, she found that her heart grew tender.

 

          As the men reined their horses toward the gate she felt panic strike
her heart. Where was the messenger from her father? What if he had
changed his mind? What if he had seen right through her? It wasn't as if
everything she had said wasn't true, because it was. She hoped she had
successfully hidden her feelings for Alexander from her father. But her
mother wasn't fooled. What if her father hadn't been fooled either? Surely,
if they were really leaving, Duke Reginald, or at least Lady Margaret, would
be there to bid farewell. But what if her father had forbidden them from
being there. Maybe Alexander had thought it would be too hard to have
them there. Her mind raced with many dreadful thoughts.

 

          The three men continued walking their horses toward the gate.
Alexander sat tall and straight on Lady. The people were waving, and, as
they reached the gate, Alexander turned in his saddle to wave back. He
seemed to be searching the crowd - gazing among the people. She suddenly
realized he was looking for her. Where was the messenger? The doubts
started coming faster and faster. She was ready to deliver the message
herself when, as Alexander was disappearing from sight, a young man came
running full speed through the court yard. Dodging through the people, he
ran swiftly after the three men. The crowd, sensing something was
happening, collectively held their breath.

 

          It seemed like forever to Louse before the men returned. The crowd
cheered as news spread that Alexander would be staying. Alexander
searched the crowd more vigorously, as if he knew why he had returned,
and then he saw her. Their eyes met, and he smiled. She returned his smile
as she melted into the shadows of the balcony.

 

          Louise's parents stayed for two more days. She made sure not to
show any kind of affinity for Alexander. That was hard for her, because she
now found herself yearning to be with him as much as possible. Louise
tried very hard to get along with her father during those two days, and,
indeed, found a closeness to him she hadn't enjoyed in a long time. He
even accompanied her and Alexander on a ride up into the mountains. The
king watched Alexander closely and seemed satisfied both with Alexander's
manners and his ability to work with horses and deal with the situations they
encountered.

 

          As her parents were saying good-bye, she felt a slight twinge of
homesickness. It was different than she had felt before. It was the feeling a
person feels when she knows what she calls home is making way for a new
life, as she, herself, is changing from a girl to a woman.

 

          Her father told her they would be back to take her home in three
months, at the end of summer. She said she would be glad to see them. He
then turned to Alexander. "You take good care of my daughter."

 

          Alexander bowed. "I will, Your Majesty."

 

          Then the king looked from one of them to the other and smiled for a
brief moment. Louise wondered if he truly knew more than she thought.
As she hugged him good-bye one last time, and he kissed her, she truly
knew her father loved her, despite their differences, or perhaps, more likely,
because of their similarities. As she waved their carriage down the road,
she vowed that, someday, when the time was right, she truly would make
sure her parents got to taste raspberries with milk and honey candy.