Eternal Shadows (4 page)

“You drank blood.”

“No, I didn’t.” I had sworn not to.

“Yes, you did.” He wiped something from my cheek with his thumb then held it out for me to see. It was bright red.

“Oh.” It was the dumbest reaction I could have possibly had. But that was exactly how I felt—dumbfounded. “How?”

“Madge,” he
said the name through his teeth. “She cut the wrist of the girl and let the blood fall into your mouth. Once you’d tasted it, you drank from the cut.”

The laughter that sounded so much like dark bells faded into a cheerful tone. “You’re welcome,” Madge said.

At first I wanted to rip her face off. Most likely I was capable of such a thing now, but then something else occurred to me. Something that almost made all my newly-found warmth completely disappear. I jumped to my feet and dashed around Rhys before he could stop me. I could see blades of grass darkened with blood and flattened to the ground, but nothing else. I searched my yard, so familiar and yet so alien now, and saw nothing. The gardens lining the fence were just beginning to bloom, the cobblestone pathways were clear of any obstruction as always, and my beautiful old brick house towered above it all, complete with its immaculate white trim and stone steps.

“Where is she?” I started to panic. Surely I hadn’t. It wasn’t possible. Was it?

Rhys stood. “I had her sent inside already.” I must have looked ready to bolt, scream, or do something else unacceptable because he quickly continued. “She’s not dead. You didn’t kill her, but her wrist needed attention.”

“Not dead?”

“Not dead.”

Relief had never felt so sweet. The fact that I had tasted blood twice now paled in the knowledge that I hadn’t killed. I hadn’t even bitten. Perhaps there was a way to get around it forever…

When had I decided to live? Looking toward the future proved that I had, but what had changed my mind? I didn’t remember giving up my conviction. Rhys had no plans on allowing my death, so at the very least I had to wait that out. A hundred years of good behavior would gain me the knowledge I sought. Could I hold out? Could I restrain the monster inside me that long?

I would damn well try.

Madge giggled. “How quaint. A vampire concerned with killing.”

“Not everyone is as fond of it as you are,” Rhys said. “Where’s Cade?”

“In the parlor. Shall I watch your little fledgling for you?”

I knew immediately I never wanted to be alone with her. At least not until I knew how to handle myself. I looked to Rhys, intending on insisting I be allowed to just go back to my room, to beg him if need be, but he was already ahead of me. No sooner had I turned my head had he taken hold of my wrist. “There’s no need for that,” he said to her. “She’s my responsibility.” He pulled me back towards the house and I followed eagerly, grateful. When had I decided I trusted him?

Madge didn’t follow us. Even though I knew the way by heart, I let Rhys lead while I thought about other things. Like my next plan of action.

He deposited me just inside my bedroom door. I hadn’t noticed when we had gone upstairs. I guess I didn’t get to go with him. That sucked. I would have liked to have seen another vampire, maybe hear something about what was going on. So far all I had to judge by was what I had seen of Rhys and Madge, and they didn’t seem all that alike. Which of them was closer to the norm?

“Stay here,” Rhys said. I nodded dumbly. What the hell was it with me and following his directions? “I’ll come back for you after I’m done.”

“What do I do until then?”

He looked at me like I was stupid. “This is your room. Do you expect me to believe you’ve never spent time in it before? That you’ve never needed to entertain yourself?”

Okay, so it had been stupid. “Nevermind,” I mumbled. He left then, shutting the door behind himself.

A cacophony of emotions washed over me all at once. Freedom. Confusion. Wonder. Exhaustion. Grief. In that befuddled haze I made my way over to my stereo and pressed play. The familiar sounds of my favorite band pulsed through the air. I tossed my ruined shirt to the floor, and grabbed another plain blue tee-shirt from my closet. I peeked in the mirror before slipping it on, running my finger over my heart where there should have been a scar, if not a gaping wound. Nothing so dramatic. Only a thin pink line. It would fade. Flawless. Aside from that mole that had always been there. I healed fast. Good to know.

Once dressed, true to form, I turned the volume up loud enough to block out all other sounds in the house. It had always driven our housekeeper crazy. Anne was almost constantly pounding on my door demanding I keep it down.

It was then I realized I hadn’t seen Anne anywhere. Surely they hadn’t…She hadn’t…

I turned the music up louder, to the point where I could feel the bass in my bones and threw myself into my unchoreographed dancing. I didn’t want to think about it. I couldn’t change anything, anyway. I lost myself in my movement and in the music. Each hop, turn, and slide shook another thought loose from my head until there was nothing left. I had nearly fourteen years of formal dance training, but I used none of it now. I didn’t want to feel perfectly aligned, I wanted to feel nothing and everything all at once.

The speakers blasted out song ten before I realized I wasn’t getting tired. As a human I would have collapsed by now. Fine, one check on the pro side of being a vampire. I kept dancing. I didn’t stop until the last song ended. As the final note died away I reigned in my limbs, falling backwards across my bed. I panted, wondering if I really had to or if it was just habit now, and let my eyes close. I had to admit, I felt better. After almost a week of dying and a day of futile resistance I needed to feel alive. My heart beat, strong inside my chest, and I no longer felt even the slightest bit cold. I remembered the taste of the blood, and while my human memories cringed, my new vampire cravings reveled as though it was chocolate or mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Reconciling the two would be a challenge.

I stretched out, feeling each muscle in my body pull pleasantly. I wondered about the reflexes Rhys had demonstrated to me on that first day. Yesterday? It seemed so long ago. I had caught his hand before it could close around my throat, but what else could I do? He had said something about vampires having descent reflexes, even when they were young, which implied that as they got older they got better at things.

I was ready to learn. Which figured, since he had finally left me alone.

He’d been gone for a long time, though. Maybe he would be back soon. I opened my eyes, intending to roll over and get up. But instead of seeing my plain white door, a dainty white skirt paired with a bright yellow blouse greeted me, and even though I currently saw the world upside down, there was no mistaking the perfect blonde bob that topped it all off.

Crap. I scrambled to get off my back and to my feet, making sure the bed was kept between us. Why was she here? I didn’t think Rhys would have sent her for me after the way he spoke to her outside. But the alternative was even worse. She had come on her own. And I didn’t trust her.

Her expression remained calm. “That took you far too long.”

It took me a moment longer to figure out what she meant. “You were watching me?”

“For some time.”

“Why?” And why had she changed her clothes to do so?

“Rhys asked me to come check on you.”

Traitor. Though what was to say he was even on my side to begin with? “I don’t need to be checked on. But in any case, I’m fine. You can report back to him now.”

She laughed, and the sound was all bells and wind chimes, the dark undertone nowhere to be heard. That wasn’t right. Her face wasn’t right, either. Her eyes sparkled with nothing but amusement, and good-natured amusement, at that. When she spoke again, I realized her voice had a completely different quality. One that didn’t make me want to hide behind someone bigger and stronger.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been rude. I should have introduced myself sooner. My name is Millie King, and I believe you’ve already had the somewhat skewed pleasure of meeting my sister.”

Sister? Well, that explained it. I felt like a vice had been released from my chest. My shoulders slumped with relief. “Kassandra Thomas. I have met your sister,” I said.

Millie smiled. It held none of the sinister traits her sister’s had. “And she was her usual shining self, I assume. I’m sorry about that. She’s really not as bad as she likes to make herself seem.”

Not as bad? “She slit a girl’s wrist and forced me to drink from it.”

“Oh,” she said, drawing it out as though in realization. “So that’s what Rhys is so angry at her about.”

I shrugged.

Millie looked thoughtful for a moment, then made a little contemplative sound before turning her attention back to me and smiling once again. “Well, please allow me to make up for her atrocious first impression. May I come in?”

My thoughts immediately defaulted to all the movies I had seen. “Do you need an invitation?”

“No,” she said with no sign of being insulted. “It’s simply good manners, don’t you agree?”

“I guess.” I drew myself up onto my bed, crossing my legs together. “Come on in.”

She did just that, gliding in with a grace my dance instructor would have killed for and sitting just as perfectly at the other edge of my bed after closing the door. “For privacy,” she said.

“Did Rhys really send you here?”

“Well, I volunteered.”

“Why? To do what?”

“He said he thought you might be more receptive to asking questions and listening now, but unfortunately he’s needed elsewhere and won’t be available for some time.”

“Doing what?”

“That I can’t tell you.” There was nothing but sincerity in her face, so I believed her. “Do you have any questions, or would you like me to simply start explaining things?”

I had one very important question, then she could tell me whatever she pleased. “Is it possible to live like this and never kill anyone?”

She laughed lightly, all bells again. I liked her laugh much better than her sister’s. “Oh, Kassandra, I think you and I are going to get along quite well.”

“Why is that?”

“Well, I’ve never had much stomach for killing, either. Unlike my sister. Let me think about the best way to explain all this.” She was quiet for a moment, collecting her thoughts while mine went wild. “Everyone is different,” she said after what seemed like forever to me. “Just like humans, we all have very unique personalities. After all, we were all once human ourselves. The basics don’t really change. At least in my experience. Of course, the cravings and needs of our new bodies do demand some changes. To answer your question, I suppose it is possible to drink what is needed and never kill. I myself have only drained a handful of humans in my hundred years or so of this life. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve met a vampire who’s never killed at least once when feeding. Most think I’m rather soft.”

“But it is possible.”

“Strictly speaking, I don’t see why not.”

I was elated. Free. I didn’t have to worry about killing anyone. It felt like a huge weight, one about the size of the Statue of Liberty, had been taken off my shoulders. I wanted to get up and dance around the room again.

“But,” Millie said, stopping my mental
happy-dance dead in its tracks. “There are considerations other than simple feeding.”

Dammit
. That could ruin everything. “Like what?” I asked, even though I didn’t think I wanted to know the answer.

“The bloodlust.”

Rhys had mentioned that before. “Like in the sun? Rhys already told me about that.”

“Yes, and no.” She shifted so she faced me more directly. “The sun strengthens the bloodlust, but you can learn to overcome that. However, there is another bloodlust, one that can’t be so easily controlled.”

“What do you mean?”

“We are hunters, Kassandra. Predators. Killers, even, though I like the term as much as you do, I think. Regardless, we can’t change the basic nature of our species. Hunting must be done, or else the instinct becomes bottled up until it bursts out in a most uncontrollable manner. Like all animals, all creatures, we must be allowed to do what is in our nature to do.”

“You mean like a hand-fed animal attacking a zookeeper.” My happy-dance writhed in death-throes in my head. There didn’t seem to be much hope for its resurrection.

“Yes. That is an accurate analogy.”

“So, what about it? Are you telling me I’ll have to kill at some point? Because if that’s the case then you can just—”

“Calm down. Let me finish.” She took my hand gently in her own, lowering it from where I had begun to make the universal gesture for cutting my throat. I thought maybe I heard a small blip on the heart monitor of my happy-dance, but didn’t get my hopes up. “The bloodlust is strong, stronger in some than in others. Everyone learns to keep theirs in check in their own way. But it’s more a need for the hunt, the chase, than the kill. For my sister, she embraces the lust. It keeps her mind intact if she simply gives in, and she was always more open to the idea than I was, anyway. For me, while I don’t enjoy killing as much as she does, I find that going out hunting once a month keeps the craving at bay.”