Eternally Yours (37 page)

By the end of the trail, their needs had been reduced to: water. They discovered that the only thing they really, really needed was their lives. Everything else was replaceable, everything else was worthless, compared to the value of simply still being alive at the end of the day.

So now all we worried about was staying alive, because someone out there wanted us dead. After the many, many times when I’d cared so little whether I lived or died, when I did stupid, risky, self-hating things because my life had no value—it now felt strange to be focusing on survival. And not just to be polite, either. I was not ready to die. Or give up my power, the power I’d never bothered with. I wanted more time to come to grips with my relationship with Reyn. And to learn more. And be friends with Brynne, and be a success story for River. And to be really toasty warm one more freaking time.

“Are you quite sure we can’t just pack up and head someplace
sunny?” I asked at dinner that night. It felt weird, knowing about the escape tunnels. Other people had to know about them, but I had no idea who.

River shook her head. “Thank you for asking. Again. But this needs to be dealt with now. Going somewhere would only delay things. I, for one, need to know who’s behind this and what they want.”

“They want power,” said Joshua, not looking up. “As much as they can get.”

“Have any of the attacks been simultaneous?” Reyn asked. “Like, in two cities on the same day? In different parts of the world at the same time?”

“No,” said River. “We plotted the attacks on a world map and dated them. While some of them are quite close together, it still looks sequential.”

“Why?” Daniel asked.

“Wondering if it’s just one person or group, or whether they have cells all over the place, making a joint attack,” Reyn said.

“Right now we’re assuming it’s one person or group,” said Joshua. “After dinner I want to go over our plans again. Remember, no matter who comes, how many there are, or how they engage us, this is a battle. This person or people have killed our friends all over the world, and now they’re coming for us.”

“Don’t worry about right or wrong,” said Reyn flatly. “Don’t follow gentlemen’s rules of engagement. This isn’t a
historical reenactment—this is life or death. If you stab someone in the chest, it will
annoy
him. If you shoot someone in the heart, it will only slow him down. Go for the throat, push in, then swing sideways as hard as you can, like we showed you.”

It was all so chillingly real.

“Don’t fight fair; don’t worry what you look like,” Joshua continued. “Do whatever you have to do to stop our enemy, no holds barred.”

“Like at a sale at Loehmann’s,” Brynne said.

Joshua and Reyn blinked identically.

“Yes, like that,” said River.

Joshua shook his head as if to clear it of such a fluffy notion. “Expect to get hurt. Expect to feel pain. Don’t let it make you panic. You know that as long as your head is still on your body, you’re okay. Keep going.”

There were solemn nods around the table. My knees were shaking, and I pressed my feet hard into the ground to make them stop. I cared if we won or lost. I cared if my friends got hurt or killed. I cared if someone destroyed River’s Edge. God, this sucked so bad. What had I been thinking?

Once more we went through the plans of attack and escape, marking exits and routes on a diagram as if we were on a plane preparing for some emergency that would never really happen. Reyn and Joshua did most of the talking, but Daisuke would jump in sometimes to clarify something or
add another viewpoint. The other two listened respectfully. I wondered what Daisuke was feeling underneath. Was he regretting being called into battle again? He could have left if he’d wanted to. Did he feel that fighting would set him back on his path?

In the end, there was no time for moral uncertainties or wavering conviction. In the end, everything about it was a surprise.

“Nastasya? Could you please do me a favor?” River asked. I got up from the kitchen table and stuck my sword into the scabbard on my belt.

“Sure,” I said.

She was apologetic. “I know it’s almost dark—I should have thought of this earlier. I need some things out of one of the work cupboards.” She handed me a list and a basket. “They should all be in the cupboard in Anne’s classroom—take as much of each thing as you can.”

“Okay,” I said. Sure, I love being in the dark. Outside. By myself.

“I can go with you,” Daniel said, picking up his sword.

“Good idea,” River agreed. “We don’t want anyone outside on their own.”

There was maybe a two-and-a-half-minute window where there would be a bit of fading light. I felt that River was perhaps being a bit lackadaisical about my health and well-being
and then realized with a sinking feeling that I was probably one of the more expendable people there.

Head up, eyes alert as we crossed the yard, I kept one hand lightly on the hilt of my sword, the way Reyn had showed me. I thought longingly of the days when I was a horrible waste of a person but was relatively safe.

“So,” said Daniel, “who do you think is behind these attacks?”

He was the brother I knew the least; my only dealing with him had been when he’d tried to bribe me to leave River’s Edge. Since then he’d seemed the most opaque of the brothers. I remembered my shared vision with River and Ottavio, about how Daniel in some ways had been the forgotten middle child.

I glanced at him. He was not, strictly speaking, quite as handsome as either Ottavio or Roberto. His features were a little softer, less finely cut. How funny that Brynne had passed over this well-groomed, civilized individual in favor of Joshua, who had much less to offer. At least on the surface.

“No thoughts? Opinions?”

“I don’t know,” I said. For some reason I didn’t want to talk about my possible uncle, or possible old friends, who could be behind this, like Cicely. Not that she could get an attack together—she couldn’t even plan a dinner party.

“Do you feel like being here has made you stronger?” he asked, pulling open the barn door. “Like, have you learned a lot of powerful magick?”

My eyes narrowed. River had the nosiest, most buttinsky brothers. But maybe he wanted to make sure I’d be an asset in this situation.

“How about you?” I countered, heading to the workroom.

“Oh, I’m strong enough,” he said mildly. He waited in the doorway while I quickly pawed through the shelves, checking River’s list, making sure I’d gotten all of it.

“Okay,” I said, going over the list one last time. “I guess that’s it.” I picked up the basket and headed for the doorway, but Daniel didn’t move.

“Let’s go,” I said bluntly.

He shrugged. “I haven’t had a chance to talk to you. I was wondering what you thought about River, and the whole setup here.”

I guess a polite person would have answered, made congenial conversation with the brother of her mentor. But we know where I stand on politeness. “Why?”

Daniel looked taken aback. “I think River’s worried about you.”

“In what way? Let me out.”

Reluctantly Daniel moved aside—I practically had to elbow him out of the way to get by.

“She thinks you’re a liability.”

His quiet words made me pause in the barn aisle, and I turned to look at him.

“Did she say that?” I asked tightly.

He shrugged again. “She’s not sure she can trust you,” he
went on, seeing he had my attention. “She doesn’t think you know enough to help. She and Ottavio are still convinced the attacks are somehow related to you.”

It was all I could do to not hyperventilate. Hurt, panicky thoughts ripped through my brain like barbed wire, shredding my confidence and making me question everything.

Daniel came a few steps closer, a sympathetic look on his face. “It’s just—the bad stuff started happening once
you
came. And then you went off with Innocencio—she’s told me how horrific the scene in Boston was.”

My cheeks burned at the picture of River telling Daniel this.

“You haven’t been here long enough for her to really know you.” He gave a short laugh. “Believe me, she can take some convincing. You have to prove yourself over and over.”

Sickening, too-familiar feelings of embarrassment and shame spread their icy tendrils through me, making my heart pound and my jaw clench. And then—

—and then some much savvier part of me said, Hang on. Are you going to believe this guy you hardly know, or are you going to trust what River said herself and what your own eyes and ears and heart tell you?

Not long ago, I would have trusted what Daniel was saying immediately—I had no reference against which to weigh trust and honesty, no compass point to determine what was real and what was illusion.

But—my head was so much clearer now. I now knew
when I was being honest with myself, and that crucial change allowed me to see honesty in others.

Daniel was bullshitting me. Why?

“I know it’s hard to take in,” he said kindly, moving closer. “She’s always been skilled at presenting a face that hides what’s really going on. It’s difficult to tell what her real motivations are, what uses she has for people.”

“Daniel. What the hell are you doing?” I wasn’t angry yet, though well on the way. Mostly I was just confused. Was this some kind of test?

“Nastasya, it’s okay. It’s not your fault. But River has told me that it would be so much easier for everyone if you left.”

Hello, anger.
It’s not true it’s not true it’s not true—

“Really?” I said calmly. “Because she’s told me that if I leave, she’ll hunt me down like a dog in the street, then duct-tape me to my bed to keep me here. Force-feeding me tea and lessons and food with fiber.”

Quickly his eyes widened, then he frowned. “No. She didn’t say that.”

My mind was clear as a freaking crystal ball right now. “Yes, Daniel. She did say that.”

He tried again. “She doesn’t always say what she means.”

I was breathing through my nose, trying to keep a rein on my emotions. But right now I could have cheerfully stood over him and dropped an anvil on his head.

“Actually, Daniel, I’ve found she says exactly what she means. Even when it’s not what you want to hear.” I thought
about the times she had called me on things, just nailed me. “At all.”

Now he looked irritated. “Listen—” he said, and then brought up his hand so fast, I didn’t have time to react. He snapped his fingers open at me and an invisible cannonball slammed into my chest, knocking me to my knees. In an instant I was reminded of Incy and the London cabbie, how he’d flattened the guy just with gestures in the air.

As Daniel did to me, now, tilting his fist sideways to smack me to the floor.

Oh my God, not again, I thought, my head ringing. Then I let my anger rip. Lying sideways on the floor, I pictured my palm filling with that so-awesome witchfire, and I made a hurling motion with one hand.

To our mutual shock, it worked, and a spinning, crackling ball of witchfire as big as an orange streaked through the air and hit him in the throat. He staggered backward, gagging, and then a dark figure ran up silently behind him… and brought a shovel down hard on his head.

His eyes rolled back, and he collapsed. I was instantly free.

“What a prick,” Brynne said, breathing hard, looking down at him. “Hey, how’d you do the fire thing? That was awesome.”

“Ottavio taught me. Oh my God—Daniel is the traitor!” I said. “We have to get to the house and tell River!”

Brynne nodded quickly, and I reached down to grab my basket, scooping the spilled bottles back into it.

“How can we make sure he stays out?” I asked, then was stopped by an awful thought. “Brynne—why were you out here alone?” I straightened slowly and looked at her. Please, not Brynne, anyone but Brynne.

“I’m not alone. I came to help
him
get axes and stuff. Shovels.” She inclined her head, pointing to the back of the barn.

Looking past her, I saw… Joshua, striding toward us. “Found some rope,” he said tersely, and knelt to tie Daniel’s hands together and then his feet with practiced, efficient movements, as if Daniel were a wayward sheep.

And I guess he was.

Daniel’s eyes popped open. “Dominicus—you must help m—” Joshua stuffed a handkerchief in Daniel’s mouth and jerked him to his feet by the rope.

“Okay, grab what you can,” Joshua ordered us. “Look sharp as we cross the yard. Don’t run. Head straight for the kitchen door.” Keeping hold of an increasingly furious Daniel, he pulled out his sword, a long, two-handed affair, heavy and ornate. Brynne and I grabbed the axes and two shovels and followed him out into the dark.

I was never so relieved to get into the kitchen. We burst through the door, surprising Anne and River, who leaped up, on guard.

“Here’s your stuff,” I said, dropping the basket on the kitchen worktable. “And here’s your worthless, pox-ridden, asshole brother.”

River’s mouth dropped open as Joshua half dragged Daniel into the kitchen, roped and gagged.

“What in the world?” Anne exclaimed.

“He’s our traitor,” Joshua said simply, and at that moment I realized what an incredible blessing it had been that I’d had witnesses in the barn. I had backup. I was so grateful, I almost wept.

“What?” River cried as Daniel angrily shook his head, mumbling around the handkerchief.

“He told Nastasya a bunch of crap,” Brynne said, looking at him with loathing. “How you didn’t trust her, wanted her gone.”

Anne’s intake of breath was audible.

River was silent, looking from one brother to another. After a minute, she nodded slowly. “Oh, Daniel,” she said. “Who are you working with? Why would you do this?”

Wild-eyed, Daniel shook his head violently.

“His head is bleeding,” Anne said.

“I hit him with a shovel,” said Brynne. “He’d knocked Nastasya down and was going for her. So I whacked him.”

Daniel stilled, the idea sinking in that they had really seen and heard what he’d done to me. His eyes narrowed, and he gave a massive burst of strength against his ropes.

Joshua jerked the rope, keeping Daniel off-balance.