Eternity (11 page)

“It should,” I
said, and pulled away from his hand. He didn’t stop me that time
when I turned around and left with Jack.

“What was that
all about?” Jack asked cautiously once we were sitting in the
cafeteria.

“Nothing,” I
said, taking a bite of food to avoid talking further.

“It didn’t look
like nothing. Adrian looked possessive and you looked angry. Is
there something going on?” Jack asked, sounding sad. It hurt me for
him to feel that way, which is probably why I never mentioned
Adrian around him. He didn’t even know that he was in my calculus
class.

“Really Jack,
it was nothing. Adrian and I kind of used to be friends, but then I
did something that he didn’t like and he got angry and stopped
talking to me. I don’t know why he started talking to me today, but
he came out of nowhere.”

“I didn’t know
you two were friends. I only saw you with him once, and it was at
the ball. He always seems to be alone.”

“We have a
class together,” I explained. “We started talking there.”

“So why did you
stop talking? What did you do that made him angry?” From what he
was feeling, I could tell that Jack thought I had done something
completely different than what had actually happened. He seemed to
think that I had made a move on Adrian. Clearly he still didn’t
know that Adrian had kissed me first, and hadn’t since that
day.

“It’s not what
you think, but I’d rather not explain.”

“How am I
supposed to trust you if you never talk to me? I feel like you have
a lot of secrets from me. I never felt that way before we got
here.” Jack sounded really hurt now, and it made me cringe. My
attempts to protect him were doing more harm than good. It was time
to tell him the truth, though I feared what would happen when I
did. I knew it would hurt him, but at least he would understand
what was going on.

“I know how you
feel about me Jack,” I started. “I care about you a lot, but I’m
not in love with you. I don’t want to hurt you. Your friendship
means more to me than anything else in my life, and I don’t ever
want to lose that.”

“I know you
care about me Jules, and I’m content with just that. I just can’t
trust you if you keep lying to me.”

“I know, and
I’m sorry. I should have told you about Adrian sooner, but I didn’t
know how you would react since you clearly don’t like him.”

“Tell me what
about Adrian?”

“I like him,
Jack. I don’t know why, but I do. He kissed me the night of the
ball, but he hasn’t since, though we talked a lot. Then I did
something that he didn’t like. I went down to the rooms beneath the
school on the night of the second full moon of the school
year.”

Jack looked
shocked first, then angry. “You did what?! Do you have any idea how
dangerous that was? Even I might have hurt you in a situation like
that, and Adrian’s way worse than I am!”

“I guess I
didn’t understand before I went, but I learned that well enough
when he tried to kill me.”

Jack turned
pale. “I’m going to kill him.”

“Don’t be
ridiculous. If he’d succeeded I wouldn’t be here, would I? Mr.
Ramirez was there, and he stopped Adrian. He didn’t really know
what he was doing. I could see that in his eyes. I opened the door
and he merely reacted instinctively, and I don’t hold that against
him. It was more my fault than his for thinking he wouldn’t hurt
me.”

“But you could
have been killed!”

“Yes, and I
think that’s why he’s been mad at me. He said today that he still
is, but I can’t help but be a little happy that he’s at least
talking to me again.”

“You should
stay away from him Jules. He’s dangerous and unstable, and he’ll
only end up hurting you. I’m not saying that because I want you for
myself. I’m telling you that as a friend.”

I sighed. “I
know that everyone sees him that way, but I really believe that
there’s more to him than he likes to show.”

“Well, if
you’re so intent on being stupid, at least be careful, okay? I
can’t stop you from seeing him, but if he does anything to hurt you
I’m not going to let him get away with it.”

“We aren’t
together anyway, Jack.”

“Not yet, but
you want to be, for some reason beyond my understanding.”

I couldn’t
argue with that. I did want to be with Adrian, no matter how much
he avoided me. I had probably screwed things up today by being so
rude, but I had been upset that he was still mad at me. I didn’t
know what to do.

Jack was shaken
by what I had told him, and I could tell that he was hurt and
trying not to be. He was also angrier than I had ever seen him,
though he showed no outward sign of it, and he was angry at Adrian,
not me. If he had been mad at me he would have shown it. I worried
that he might try to do something stupid. It didn’t help that they
were roommates.

Chapter
15

Luckily, by the
time the next morning came Jack appeared to be unharmed, so I
assumed that no fight had taken place. I didn’t ask.

The day was
Christmas Eve, though that mattered to me very little. Having grown
up without parents or a proper home, Christmas had never held any
excitement for me. I was not at all religious either, so the day
held no meaning to me in that regard. The school was not decorated
for the holidays. I asked one of the remaining teachers why that
was, and she told me that it was because the students came from all
over the world and from many different faiths, if any at all. It
would be difficult to decorate for all of them, so they didn’t
decorate at all. There weren’t many people left anyway.

I spent the
morning with Jack outside in some freshly fallen snow. It was oddly
cold out considering that we were in an area with a normally mild
climate. The snow was too powdery to do anything with, so we just
went for a walk. We walked to the lake, which looked barely frozen,
so Jack didn’t want to risk trying to slide on the ice. I wanted
to, but he wouldn’t let me.

When we got
back inside Jack decided to go downstairs to the weight room, which
I had no interest in doing, so I was left to wander about on my
own. It was strangely quiet in the hallways with everyone gone, and
it made the place seem less like a school and more like an old
castle or something. I quickly decided to head to the ballroom. I
hadn’t had the pleasure of playing on the piano there since my
first day, and I was much less likely to be interrupted than I was
the last time.

Of course, as
usual, things didn’t go as I expected them to. As soon as I sat
down at the instrument, someone came into the ballroom through the
glass doors that led to the balcony. I realized with some surprise
that it was Adrian, who I hardly ever saw wandering about. I sat as
still as I could, hoping that he would continue on his way and not
notice I was there. He brushed the snow off of his jacket and
walked toward the door at the other end of the room while I held my
breath. He got about three quarters of the way there before he
stopped. He looked over and saw me sitting at the piano and staring
at him. He smiled and came over to the stage, and proceeded to
climb up and stand before me.

“You were
hoping I wouldn’t notice you, weren’t you?” he said, still smiling.
“I’ll admit that I saw you before you saw me, from out on the
balcony. I considered walking out as if I hadn’t noticed you, but I
changed my mind.”

“And why did
you do that?” I asked.

“Again, I will
admit to suffering from terrible curiosity. Do you play the
piano?”

“I do, but I
had hoped to do so alone. Now that you’re here I can’t, which was
why I was hoping you would continue to walk out of the room.”

“I don’t see
why you can’t play with me here. I wouldn’t get in your way. I
really would like to hear you play.”

He sounded like
he did, but I didn’t know why. “I really don’t understand you at
all,” I admitted.

He rolled his
eyes. “I wish you would stop trying.”

I decided to be
brave. “I’ll play for you on one condition.”

“And what would
that be?” he asked, looking very curious indeed.

“You have to do
something for me in return. I won’t tell you what until I’m
finished, but you have to agree that you will do it.”

“That sounds
like quite a gamble, but I see no alternative but to accept your
deal, since I’m determined to hear you play. You might as well
start now.”

Since he had
given his word, which I didn’t actually expect him to hold to, I
started to play. As was my usual style, I played what I was
feeling, which was a lot at that moment. I felt joy for being able
to play again, and fear for making a fool of myself in front of
Adrian. I also felt all of the emotions that seemed to attack me
when he was around. I felt silly for letting him have so much power
over me.

When I finished
I looked at Adrian, who was still standing there by the instrument
with his hands buried in his pockets. His eyes were wide and his
mouth was hanging open. When he noticed me observing him, he made
an effort to restore his expression.

“That was
definitely worth whatever it is you want me to do,” he said. “I am
yours to command.”

I smiled slyly
at him, though my heart was pounding, and I could swear I saw a bit
of pink enter his cheeks. “I want you to kiss me,” I said, standing
up.

I can’t say
that I actually expected him to do it. He’d been avoiding me for so
long I’d been sure he’d lost interest. Despite my beliefs, however,
he crossed the distance between us in an instant, and his lips were
on mine. I wrapped my arms around him and held him closely, and he
deepened the kiss.

Finally, he
broke away. “I’ve wanted to do that for a long time,” he said.

“Then why
didn’t you?” I asked, breathless.

He frowned and
sat down on the piano bench, facing away from the instrument. I sat
beside him, and he turned his penetrating gaze on me. I was
surprised by how serious he looked.

“The closer I
get to you, the more danger you’re in,” he said. “I realized that
the day I almost killed you. Still, I don’t know how to stay away
from you.”

“Then don’t.
I’m not afraid of you,” I said, smiling. He didn’t return the
smile.

“I hope you
know what you’re getting yourself into,” he said.

“Hey, you
started it,” I joked. He finally smiled.

“You still
didn’t answer the question I asked yesterday.”

“Yes, I found
what I was looking for. Are you satisfied now?”

“No. You
haven’t told me what it was yet.”

“A girl can
have her secrets,” I said. “The book didn’t tell me everything I
wanted to know anyway. In fact, it only confirmed what I had
already been told. It was kind of disappointing, really.”

“So you aren’t
going to tell me anything?”

“No. It’s not
that I don’t trust you. I just haven’t found out everything yet.
What I was looking for in the library was really only part of the
information I was looking for. The rest I don’t think I will ever
find, at least not in a book.”

“You can be
amazingly frustrating when you want to be,” Adrian commented,
standing up. “I won’t bother asking about it anymore, but you can
come to me if you feel like sharing.”

“Where are you
going?”

“Back outside.
I want to go to the lake. Want to come?”

“Sure,” I said,
“but I’ll have to go get my jacket and boots.”

We agreed to
meet in the foyer in ten minutes. I ran to the south wing to gather
my outerwear, and then ran back to the foyer, where Adrian was
standing, looking up at the painting of Amun.

“He does kind
of look like a god, doesn’t he?” I commented, also looking at the
painting. The man still seemed familiar to me. I thought maybe I
had met him in a past life or something, if I had ever had one.
Adrian looked over at me.

“He looks no
more like a god than you do,” he said.

“Sure he does,”
I said. “Look at his eyes. Even in this painting you can see how
deep and penetrating they are, like he can see everything. He also
looks charismatic and yet mysterious. Just look at how he’s almost
smiling. It’s in his eyes, even though his lips appear untouched by
the expression.”

“Interesting,”
Adrian said, still watching me. “Still, I don’t think you look that
much different in a lot of ways. You have a more open and
transparent look, yet sometimes I get the feeling that you see a
lot more than you say. Plus, you’re definitely mysterious.”

“So I’m open
and mysterious? I’m a little confused.”

“Your manner is
open, but you keep secrets, and you’re not very good at hiding
that.”

I looked away
from the painting. “None that are of any importance,” I said.

We walked out
to the lake in silence, with each of us lost in our own thoughts. I
was, at least. We were both content to enjoy the fresh air and
scenery, which was impressive. We reached our destination in only a
few minutes, and walked out onto the dock that was over the water.
I’d heard it was mostly used by those who went swimming during the
warmer parts of the year. I brushed off some snow so I could sit on
the end and dangle my feet over the ice. Adrian sat beside me.

“Don’t you ever
wish you could explore these woods as a wolf?” I asked.

“Yeah. I’m sure
it would be more interesting,” he answered. He was lying again.

“Why do you
keep doing that?”

“Doing what?”
Adrian asked, looking confused.

“Whenever I ask
about you being a wolf, you always lie about how you feel. Do you
really hate it that much?”

Now Adrian
looked startled. “Fine. Yes, I hate it. Happy now?” He sounded
angry and defensive.

“Why?”

“Because I
always feel like I’m out of control. I’ve hurt people, Juliet. I’ve
lost my temper and turned and attacked people. I’m a monster.”