Ever After (15 page)

“Oh shut up, you old man.” I smiled at him. He could only laugh, giving me a boyish grin that melted my heart. “You’re impossible, you do realize that.”

“Indeed I am. That’s why you adore me, is it not?”

“Of course.” I rolled my eyes. I could never stay mad at him for long it was not possible. A stone bench was coming up, and I steered us toward it; my stupid hip was starting to ache.

“You need to sit for a minute.” I didn’t argue. He could see it in my eyes and my stiff movements, the walk had been too long.

“Do you see me, William?” I asked softly trying to control the fact I suddenly felt so angry, weak, and different from him. He smiled, looking a bit confused; he tilted his head as he looked at me.

“Of course I see you.” He ran a finger along my cheek. “Lovely as usual.” I leaned into his touch, always mesmerized by him.

“Yes… but do you see how weak I am compared to you?” I studied a small rosebud not yet opened by the spring sunshine. “Like that stupid rosebud there, when it’s done blooming, it will shrivel up and die!” I threw up my hands. “Just like I too will get old, shrivel up and die.” I could see I struck a nerve with him. He flinched when I said the word “
die
”; he did not like the sound of that. I watched him as a disapproving frown slid across his perfect face. He knew where this was going.

“Every day I get better, you keep saying that, but don’t you see every day I also get closer to dying?” I could feel my heart race now, as I got mad. “I’m getting older every day and you are not. I will die William, and you will still be here.” I didn’t look into his eyes as I fumed. I could see him nodding in silent agreement with my lecture. I could see him shift uncomfortably, not happy with this conversation.

“I don’t understand what you want me to say about it, Corrine.” His voice was low, soft, and extremely controlled unlike mine. “I cannot change myself to be fully human, and you will never know how badly I want to.” He looked away, overcome with emotions. “If I could grow old and wrinkled with you.” He shook his head. “Then by God, I would in a heartbeat, never question me on that! I have never been given a choice on what I am you know this. I just have to deal with what I am the best way I can. I love you to the depths of what little bit of soul I’m still lucky enough have, and cannot live without you.” I could see the torment in his eyes. He was in agony over our difference, and I just had not seen it until now.

“But I have a choice, William.” I took a deep breath as he looked up straight into my eyes.

“What are you talking about?” He narrowed his eyes, as he realized what I was getting at. “Corrine no. I could never do that to you, it would be wrong on so many levels!” I hated that he caught on so fast; I needed time to convince him of my idea.

“Why? You love me, don’t you?” I grabbed his hand, placing it on my chest so he could feel my heart beating. “This will stop someday, Will, and when it does I will be gone from you forever. We will be no more.” He sighed as he rubbed his forehead in frustration.

“I could not kill you. Corrine, that’s basically what I would be doing, you just don’t understand.” I could feel the anger welling up inside me now like a volcano about to explode. “You wouldn’t be a half blooded vampire it’s extremely rare, if you even survived the whole thing.”

The anger in me was so strong now; did he not want me forever? I couldn’t believe he was saying this. Did he not want me with him always? I had to grip the bench. I was overcome with so many emotions. I didn’t care if I was just like him, I just didn’t want to die.

“What is this then, am I just on your list of amusements for a few decades. If I am really lucky. Then when you tire of me or I am too old and crappy looking, or maybe even dead you move on to somebody new? I don’t get it. Maybe you can help me understand what your deal is. I wonder are you going to keep playing hero and saving my life every other day.” He winced at my harsh words, but he was speechless at my honesty. “Tell me William, what happens when I am ninety years old and wrinkled up like a used Armani handbag? I guess I can brag to the other old crones in the nursing home about how I don’t need the life alert necklace as they all do! I can explain to them all how I have my own personal vampire instead. A vampire who has followed me around for seventy years or so and refuses to let me die a natural death!”

I knew my words cut deep and were harsh, but I was hurting, and I wanted him to hurt as well. I needed to know where I stood with him. I loved him so much, and I refused to be a plaything for an immortal. I had to gage his true intentions right here and right now.

“It’s not like that Corrine; please don’t say things like that.”

“Oh, it’s not? I can tell you this when I have too many near- death experiences and never die. The doctors and other people are going to wonder why the heck I am still alive. I think it’s going to be hard to explain to people.” I stood up much too quickly as pain tore across my hipbone. I gasped leaning hard on my crutch. “Look at me, won’t you? I am already in bad shape; it’s not going to get much better!” I shrugged off his hands as he tried to help me stand up.

“Let me help you please.” he begged, getting up holding my arm to steady me.

“No!” I shrugged off his hands and struggled to balance myself out alone. “You’ve done enough William, you can’t always be there to save me and help me, not anymore. That’s just not how it works in real life, and that’s where I live, the real world. I cannot relate to yours. I don’t know how vampires live…or whatever you want to call it…exist maybe? It’s apparent that you’ve no intentions of allowing me to be part of your life anyway.”

I hobbled away as fast as I could. It hurt to leave him standing there, speechless and in shock at my sudden outburst. I managed after what seemed like forever, to get back up to my bedroom. I flopped onto my bed and broke down crying. I just couldn’t bear to feel his touch or stare into his eyes, knowing it was all only temporary. I just didn’t work like that, for me it was all or nothing.

I had to have 100% of him or none at all. I could accept his lifestyle, and I was willing to do what I had to do to become part of his life. I needed him in my world, and I wanted to be in his. I didn’t care what we had to do to make it happen. I refused his calls the next few days. However, it killed me to do so. I made Gran tell him I couldn’t talk. I had to make it clear this was a major issue for me, and he was going to have to think about it.

Chapter 21

Difficult Choices

I was dying to see him not but four days later. I could think of nothing but William all day long. I could feel a physical pain in my chest and my heart ached. I felt lost and alone; it was all too much to handle. I could hardly think of life without him, although we had only been together a short time.

I knew I could not live without him. I had allowed him into my world; something few people ever were allowed. I had confided in him and exposed my weaknesses. I was in love with him and I could not let go if I tried. It was beyond me to do so. I hated to love anyone so much, especially someone who could break my heart so easily.

I could not wait any longer. It had been a week, and if I didn’t hear, his voice and feel his touch I might very well die! I pulled on my coat; a heavy early spring rain was pelting the house. I grabbed my keys and headed for the door. I whipped it open. The air was still chilly and the rain very cold. I winced as I pulled up my hood and clutched my keys and purse to my chest. I looked over and saw William sitting in the rocking chair, a big grin on his adorable face. I nearly jumped in shock, if not for my sore hip I would have. I smiled at him in shock.

“How did you know?” He shook his head, smiling and giving me a wink.

“My secret, but I had a feeling you wanted to see me.”

“You were right.” I sighed as he pulled me into his arms. “I’ve missed you so much. I could hardly stand it.” He gently kissed my lips. I melted into his arms. I could hardly think as he whispered he loved me in my ear in a low soft voice. I was in a daze.

“Please don’t leave me like that again.” He squeezed me, kissing the top of my head, and stroking my hair.

“Never. I almost lost my mind being without you, Will.”

“Me too. I was going crazy without you!” he sighed. “I’m sorry I was insensitive about our differences. I should have thought how you would feel.”

“No, I’m sorry. I was being a brat. I know it’s something we’ll work through. We can deal with all that later.” I pulled him closer, kissing him with a fire and passion I didn’t know I had inside me. Will was shocked at first, but he responded with the same hunger and passion as I did.

I had so many things I wanted to say, so many more questions, but the serenity of his warm embrace washed over me and my mind went blank. I never wanted him to let me go from this perfect moment, nothing mattered when he held me, nothing at all. I was lost in a world where he and I were all that mattered.

William pulled away, both of us breathless and shocked. We stood staring at each other for some time.

“I uh, wow. That was something…” I said as I sighed, lost in his eyes. He too was speechless. He smiled lovingly at me.

“Yes it was. I’ve never felt like that before; it is amazing!” He brushed a stray hair out of my eyes tenderly. “I could kiss you forever and never get tired of it!”

“Chapped lips though.” I teased making him laugh.

“I can handle the pain.” He tapped my nose. “I’ll take out stock in the Chap stick company.”

William took a deep breath as he walked over to the porch rail, and leaned against it, pulling his sunglasses up onto his head. I was always amazed at the stunning shade of blue they were. I watched him thoughtfully.

“We don’t have to decide today about your future.” He winked. “Our futures…I mean, do we Corrine? We can take our time and be sure of what you want.” I smiled at him; the worried look he gave me was too cute.

“No. I was just thinking you did not want me with you?” His eyes got wide in shock.

“I can’t live without you, Corrine. You are all I want, and losing you would destroy me! I fear every day something will happen and I won’t be there to protect you. You hold my ability to exist in your hands. I am dependant on you; your love keeps me alive.” He shrugged his shoulders. “Or whatever you want to call it, maybe not alive but able to function, to think of a day without you terrifies me to no end.”

“You will not know a day without me. I will never leave you willingly, it’s just me being human is a risk, but yes, we can decide later what we will need to do.” I really wanted to talk about it, but I was so tired suddenly. I just didn’t want to go over it again right now. I sat down on the porch swing. William sat down next to me and put his arm around me.

“I love you, Corrine.” I felt my heart leap in my chest.

“I love you too.” I quickly answered back and leaned my head on his shoulder.

I looked up at him. I wanted to ask him the reason why he didn’t like talking about his family much.

“Isn’t it easy just too… become like you?” I hoped I didn’t sound too childish. He seemed to be stressed at my question.

“No it’s not Corrine. It’s not really my choice; others are involved. I have rules…my family has rules. I have to abide by a code of conduct if you will.” I scratched my head, confused.

“Code of conduct? Wow, that’s something I never would have guessed.”

“No, most wouldn’t. They think we randomly kill people or turn them into a vampire at will, no thought in it. Just animalistic behavior I guess. The movies do little to help our image, but there are covens that do not live as we do. They are the ones we call the dark ones. They thrive on murder, violence and have no regard for human life.”

“I still cannot get over how you have a code of conduct!” I shook my head, smiling.

“I know it sounds funny, vampires following rules.” He grinned. “It’s just a code the light coven follows, or we’re supposed to follow although some do slip up. That is strongly frowned upon by the elders of the coven. It puts us at risk of being exposed and possible severe problems. The family I am in, my coven are Followers, a branch of the Light Covens. We want to coexist with humans peacefully and we respect life and its value. We are not the monsters the dark covens are.” I was shocked by this. I had no idea these worlds existed, these societies of vampires so vastly different, so conflicted.

“The dark ones.” He sighed, looking out into the dark rainy driveway. “They are the ones you want to avoid at all costs. They are reckless killers to the core. They hunt people for sport, not necessarily for survival. It’s all a game to them, and its pure evil to be blunt.” I felt a shiver down my spine of fear at his word.

“How do you know if a dark one is around? I mean, can you sense one?” I was hoping he would tell me they only lived in Alaska or something. He didn’t.