Authors: Karen Kingsbury
F
IVE
T
he breakthrough happened that same afternoon, the day Emily shared her feelings with her mother. She’d been determined not to make the first move with Justin. There were countless reasons why. She was busy, she had to be dedicated to her team, she was still getting used to the Tacoma area, she didn’t know him well enough.
The list was long.
But that didn’t change the way she felt every time he walked into the room. He was broad shouldered with a rugged face and a quick sense of humor. Just like her dad. Already she knew that Justin’s faith, his beliefs, mattered as much to him as hers did. Even so, she wouldn’t make her feelings obvious. Especially after the Mr. Smooth comments from Vonda. If Justin Baker
was
a smooth talker, let some other girl fall for him. She was certainly too busy to be taken on a meaningless ride.
That afternoon, she was editing releases when he pulled a chair up beside her and waited for her to look at him. When she did, she couldn’t stop her breath from catching in her throat. She kept her tone light. “More training?”
“If you need it.” He gave her a look that made her laugh.
“Not really.” She raised one eyebrow. “See, I had this teacher, and, well … he was so talented, I don’t have a single question.”
“That’s good.” He ran his tongue along his lower lip and shifted in his seat. It was the first time he’d looked nervous. “Hey, Emily, I want to clear something up.”
“Okay.” She turned to face him.
“I hear you over there, Justin Baker, all flirty and everything.” Vonda was a relentless teaser. She stood at her desk and winked in their direction. “Just go on ahead and get over yourself, Mr. Smooth. Ask the poor girl out, already. She’s dying for you to do it.” She made a loud exasperated sound and sat down hard on her seat. “Love is wasted on the youth, I tell you. Wasted!”
Justin looked at Emily for a beat, and then leaned his head back and groaned. “Thanks, Vonda.”
“Anytime.” Vonda picked up the phone, her attention mercifully off the two of them.
Emily gave him a sympathetic smile. “You were saying?”
“Right.” He looked at her, and she noticed his cheeks were darker than before. He couldn’t be any more irresistible. “About the Mr. Smooth part.” He shook his head. “It isn’t true.”
“It isn’t? How’s that?”
“Well …” He craned his neck and cast a quick look in Vonda’s direction. His voice dropped a notch. “The thing is, if I were Mr. Smooth, I would’ve already done it.”
“Done what?” Emily enjoyed the exchange, wherever it was leading.
His eyes found hers, and he looked beyond the surface to someplace deep inside her. “Asked you out.”
And just like that, his feelings were on the table. She felt herself lifting off the floor, floating around the room. But when she looked down, she could see herself still in the computer chair, her feet still on the ground. She remembered first to smile, and second to breathe. “Really?”
“Yeah.” He exhaled as if he’d been holding his breath. “Emily, you don’t know how hard that was.”
“Your turn, Miss Emily.” Vonda was off the phone again. She smacked her hand down in a mock show of disgust. “Do I have to come over there and teach the two of you how to do this?”
Emily laughed. “That’s okay.” She looked at Justin and her insides felt all jumbled together. “I think we can figure it out.”
Justin shielded his eyes with his hand and shook his head. “Thanks again, Vonda.”
“Like I said, anytime.”
“So?” Justin lowered his hand and winced. “Can I take you out to dinner? After work tonight?”
“Sure.” Emily kept her tone light. She looked over her shoulder once more. “But I’m not sure how we’ll get by without Vonda.”
“Me either.” He shrugged, and the gesture made him look adorable. “I guess we’ll never know if we don’t try.”
They both laughed, and Justin snuck back to his work station — thankfully under Vonda’s radar so they avoided any comments about how it went or whether Emily had made the boy’s day by saying yes. The rest of the shift passed in a blur, and every few minutes Emily had to remind herself to focus.
What could it mean, Justin asking her out? Had he been feeling about her the way she’d been feeling about him? Like even the most beautiful summer day couldn’t compare to the way it felt simply to sit in the same room together, working on press releases and breathing the same air?
When their shift finally ended, they decided he would follow her back to her residence hall, and they’d both ride in his car — a Jeep Cherokee his dad had given him. He opened the sunroof as they set out, and she settled into the spot beside him. The leather seats felt soft and inviting. “I like it.”
“I had no idea Dad was giving it to me.” Justin kept his eyes on the road. Now that Vonda wasn’t around, he seemed relaxed, at ease. As if the two of them had known each other forever. “I came home from my first tour in Iraq and my parents met me at the airport. They drove me to the base, and there it was in the parking lot. Covered with yellow ribbons.” He smiled. “My first car.”
Emily studied him for a moment. So, he’d been to Iraq. The detail was proof that the two of them didn’t know each other nearly as well as it might seem. She pressed her shoulder into the seat and faced him. “How long were you there?”
“A year, about the same as most guys.” Something changed in his eyes.
“I thought …” She remembered the first time she met him, “I thought you wanted to
run
the base.”
“Vonda exaggerates.” He grinned at her. The evening was still sunny and would be for another three hours, but the temperature had cooled. He looked up at the sunroof and back at her. “You cold?”
“No.” She brushed her fingers over her long sleeves. “It feels good.”
“It does.” He pulled onto the freeway and merged into a heavy flow of traffic. “I wanna be career military. Like my dad.” He shot her a quick smile. “Like yours.” He shrugged. “If they let me run the base, I’ll take it.”
“So …” She didn’t want to ask, didn’t even want to picture him in danger — this golden young man who had so easily taken up residence in her heart. “So what did you do in Iraq?”
“I’m trained for medic work, but that’s not where I spent my time. I did the frontline stuff, kicking in doors, looking for insurgents.” He made a face that suggested it was no big deal. “Traveling in convoys, that sort of thing.”
Each bit of description hit her like a blow. He’d been in the most dangerous positions, she knew that much from her conversations with her father. Army guys who went looking for insurgents were the ones in the greatest danger. Certainly with his family’s pull, he could’ve been worked off the front line, still serving without putting his life in imminent danger.
When she didn’t say anything, he gave her another quick look. “Hey, it wasn’t so bad. The people love us over there.”
Emily was fascinated and frightened all at once. “Tell me about it.”
“The truth isn’t something you’ll read in a newspaper article — ” he winced — “or in a magazine piece your mother might write.”
So he knew about her mother. Emily’s expression must’ve changed, because he hurried to cover himself.
“My dad says your parents’ story is complicated. I mean — ” he changed lanes — “people are entitled to their opinions, Emily. Don’t get me wrong.”
“I’m not.” They were already in Seattle, and ahead she could see the Sound and a hundred sailboats dotting the water. “I think … I think a lot of people helped shape my mother’s viewpoints.”
He nodded toward the water. “Pike Place Market okay? They have some great seafood restaurants.”
“Seriously?” She’d heard about the place from some of the girls on the soccer team, but she’d never been anywhere other than school and Fort Lewis. “I’d love it.”
He took the next exit. Ten minutes later, he had a parking space near the water, and they climbed out and began walking toward the closest pier. Seattle had an eclectic feel about it, a mix of fast-paced business people in their suits and nice dresses, and urban earthy types with baggy clothes, long hair, backpacks, and sandals. Over all of it towered the Seattle Space Needle.
The sun was still high in the sky, and the smell of exhaust fumes and seawater mixed in the cool breezy air. When they’d settled into a comfortable pace, Justin took a slow breath. “Like I was saying, it’s so different over there. I went expecting a battle, and I found one. The war is a long ways from over.”
“That’s what I hear.” She kept her pace even with his, and every now and then, the smell of his cologne mixed with the evening wind.
“But the best part was the people.” He smiled and his eyes took on an added depth. “They’re so glad to be free, Emily. Men, women, and children — all of them so grateful. To most of them, we’re the heroes.” He gave a single laugh. “My mom made a scrapbook with all the pictures I took. Pictures of me and the people of Iraq. Especially the kids.”
“So … so you weren’t in a lot of danger?” They were walking down a hill now, along a cobblestone road, and just ahead, the sun cast a blanket of diamonds over the water of Elliott Bay and the distant Puget Sound.
“There was danger.” His smile faded. He was quiet for a moment, and then he looked at her. “I lost two buddies, guys who were hit by a roadside bomb on a day when I stayed back to do weapons inventory.”
She felt her heart sink. “I’m sorry.” And she was. But at the same time, she breathed a prayer of thanks to God for sparing Justin, for allowing the soldier beside her the chance to live the life ahead of him.
“The majority of people here and over there support us, and that’s a good thing.” His words were slower now, thoughtful. “It’s not like it was for the Vietnam guys. Not hardly. But still — ” he looked up at the sky and squinted at the setting sun — “I wish more people knew the truth. We’re getting a lot done over there, Emily. It’s a good thing, even with our losses.”
The conversation shifted to her and her role on the soccer team. “I’ve played midfield since I was a little girl, and it’s more fun now than ever.”
“Because you can see the light at the end of the tunnel?” His comment wasn’t rude or flip, just an honest observation.
And an accurate one. “Yes.” She felt her arm brush against his, and the sensation sent a shiver all the way to her feet. “I’m good, but I won’t be on an Olympic team or trying out for the pros.” She gave him a sad smile. “This is it, so I’m giving it everything I have.”
“I’d love to see you play.” They came to an intersection and crossed, stepping up onto a sidewalk that ran along the water’s edge. “I played, back in high school.”
“Really?” Again Emily had the sense that she’d always known him. If they’d been at the same high school, they would’ve been the best of friends. Or maybe they would’ve found the sort of teenage love her parents had shared. She blinked away her thoughts. “What position?”
“Midfielder. Same as you.” They stopped and he looked out at the water. “I miss it sometimes. But it wasn’t my passion.” He cocked his head and met her eyes again. “Not like being in the army.”
Emily’s admiration grew. “When did you get back … from Iraq?”
“In October. Right before the holidays.” He leaned his forearms on the metal railing that separated the sidewalk from the embankment down to the water. “Made my parents happy.”
“So now … you’re done?” She kept her tone light. The question dangling in her heart wasn’t one she wanted to ask, but she had to know. She rested her arms on the same metal railing and turned her head so she could see him. “Now you work on other training and, you know, learning how to run the base, that sort of thing, right?”
He chuckled and — intentionally or not — slid his right arm over so that it was touching hers. “I have one more tour, if that’s what you’re asking.”
Fear tightened her airways, and she stared out at the farthest bit of ocean she could find. No, he wasn’t going back to Iraq, that couldn’t be what he’d said. “But … but you already did the dangerous stuff, right?”
“They’re looking for guys to go twice.” He stood a little straighter. There was no worry or concern in his voice. “I can’t very well lead guys if I’m not willing to make sacrifices myself.”
His answer was exactly what she would’ve expected him to say. “So you’ll be back on the front lines?”
“Probably.” He smiled at her and nudged her arm with his. “But that’s where the people are, Emily. It’s what makes me sure we’re supposed to be there. Besides, God’s got my back. I felt Him with me every minute last time I was there.”
She had the sudden urge to run. What point was there in getting to know this wonderful guy beside her if he was going to leave for another year in Iraq, if nothing about his future was even a little bit sure? But before those feelings could take root, she stopped herself.
God knew the plans He had for Justin, same as He knew the plans He had for her. Neither of them was guaranteed their next breath. So why borrow worry from tomorrow? She breathed out and felt herself relax. “When, Justin?” She didn’t move her arm, didn’t break the connection between them. “When do you go?”
“End of September.” He smiled and eased his fingers between hers. “Come on. Let’s find some dinner.”
They walked slower than before, and with her hand tucked in his, Emily had to keep telling herself she really was here, he really was beside her, walking with her hand in hand along the edge of Seattle’s Puget Sound. And no, she wasn’t floating ten feet off the ground, no matter how she felt.
For the rest of the evening, they avoided talk of his return to Iraq. Instead they found a restaurant and were seated near a window that overlooked the water. He took the spot across from her and told her about his younger sister.
“She’s eighteen now, four years younger than I am.” He unfolded his napkin across his lap, clearly at ease in the upscale dining room. “The whole family has a list of stories about her.”
“Like what?”
He grinned. “Like the time she bought a new cell phone. She was all excited because it had a speed dial feature for up to thirty phone numbers.” He planted his elbows on the table and rested his chin on his fist, his eyes on Emily. “So we’re at dinner that night and she’s going on about which numbers she’s programmed in, and how one of them is 9-1-1.” He changed his voice to sound like a ditzy girl. “ ‘That way, if I have an emergency, I can just dial star-two-seven instead. Or was it star-two-eight?’ ” Justin’s laugh was full of warmth and affection. “The rest of us rolled. Only my sister would think it could save time to dial star-two-seven instead of 9-1-1.”