Ever, Sarah (6 page)

“Memory loss… is it long term?”

“It could be long term, we’re not sure. You may get all your memory back or you may not be able to remember anything that happened to you before the accident.”

“Do you know what happened? How I fell?”

“No, we only know that you were found at the base of the stairs in your home. Mr. Hunter called 911 and you were rushed here by ambulance. It was a very good thing he found you when he did.”

“Why?”

“Because the outcome could have been much worse than this.”

“Did I almost die?” I asked incredulously.

“Yes.”

There were a few seconds of silence while that sunk in and I felt a tremor run the length of my body.

“When can I get up and shower.”

“That all depends on you. How hard are you willing to work for it?”

“Do you see this hair?” I snorted.

“Well, first let’s get you sitting up.” She stood up and walked over to the other side of the bed. Stepping on a pedal she lowered the bed as far down as it would go. I could feel the cool surface of the floor with the tips of my toes. She held me up, and had her arm wrapped around me, supporting my back, “I want you to sit, like this, for a few minutes. You are going to feel lightheaded for a bit. You haven’t eaten anything substantial, and you haven’t sat upright in quite a while so give yourself a little time to get used to it and let me know if you feel any pain.”

She released me. I grabbed the handrail with my right hand and held myself up, waiting for the dizziness to subside. She stepped back and watched me.

All at once a thousand pins and needles descended on my legs and arms, prickling me in quick succession. I inhaled deeply and held my breath. I was still feeling dizzy and also a bit nauseous.  I swayed a little until the black dots stopped jumping behind my eyes.

“Now take a deep breath and let it out slowly.”

I did as I was told. She pulled a pair of socks that had rubber stripes from a package she had shoved in her pocket and knelt down, pulling them onto my feet.

“Traction.” She said as she looked up at me.

“Thank you.”

“How do you feel?”

“If I had to be honest, I’m feeling kinda crappy right now.”

“That’s perfectly normal and expected. Do you feel up to trying to stand?”

“I think so.”

“Okay. I want you to grab both sides of this.” She set the walker directly in front of me. “Now, slowly slide down until your feet are flat on the floor. Make sure to keep your backside leaning on the bed.”

I slid down until my feet were flat on the hard floor, but I still hadn’t put any of my body’s weight on them. It felt so odd to be in a vertical position, alien even. I grabbed both sides of the walker and waited for further instruction.

“You doing okay there?”

I didn’t want to tell her that I had a throbbing pain in my upper thigh, I was afraid she’d stop and make me get back in bed.

It felt so good getting this far, I didn’t want to stop and the sooner I could do this walking thing, the sooner I could leave this place.

The muscles in my arms and hands trembled with the strength of my grip—or lack thereof—and I pulled myself up onto my feet. I was exhausted, but I refused to give up.

I slowly straightened my body, as straight as I was able to, and nearly screamed with the pain in my hip, but as I stood there gritting my teeth, the pain began to ebb, and stopped short of a dull throb.

“How am I doing?” I asked. I sounded winded and totally out of breath.

“You’re doing wonderfully. But I think that this is probably enough for one day, we’ll do more tomorrow.”

I was incredibly disappointed and wasn’t ready to give up just yet, so I took one step closer to her.

“Sarah…”

“I want to try.” I took another step. The dizziness was becoming worse and I knew it was just a matter of time before I was on the floor. “I think you’re right. Too much too soon.”

I was about to back up when I staggered and started to fall to the side. Before I knew what was happening a strong pair of arms reached out, grabbed me from the side and lifted me and pulled me up against his body.

“I think that is enough for today, am I right doctor?” I looked up and through my spinning eyes saw piercing blues staring down at me. I had been so focused on pushing myself that I didn’t even hear him enter.

“Yes Mr. Hunter. I do think it is enough for today. Very well done, Sarah.”

“Thanks. How about that shower?”

“Perhaps tomorrow, we’ll try taking a few steps, but right now, we’ve got to concentrate on getting your strength back. You don’t want any setbacks do you?”

I’m sure the disappointment on my face was obvious.

“I really…” I actually sounded like a child.

“Would it be okay if I took Sarah into the bathroom and set her up on the chair in the shower?”

I didn’t really grasp what was being said and leaned my head against Brad’s chest. Even in this state of mind, the smell of him filled my nostrils and sent my senses reeling.
That
smell was familiar to me and I liked it. A lot.

“That would be fine as long as she doesn’t put full weight on her hip.”

“That okay with you Sarah?” Brad looked down at me.

“If it means I can wash up, I’m all for it.”

“Well, then, I’ll leave you two to it. I’ll be in to check on you before I leave tonight. Enjoy your shower and your meal. Smells delicious.”

I looked over Brad’s shoulder and saw two large paper bags. And when I tell you the aromas emanating from those brown bags had me literally salivating, take me seriously.

“How about you get me into that shower now, so I can eat that.” I indicated the bags with my chin.

“As you wish.”

Flash
.

Another weird feeling…a memory feeling.

Brad lifted me in his arms and carried me to the bathroom setting me down on the toilet. He leaned in and situated the chair inside the shower.

“Stay there. I’ll grab you some clean clothes. Then I’ll help you with that.” He indicated my hospital gown. “I’ll turn on the water when I get back.”

“Mr. Hunter.” I said, trying to sound indignant.

The look he cast my way almost made me laugh. He looked downright insulted.

“I won’t look Sarah. I won’t do anything that would make you uncomfortable.”

“Well…okay.” As soon as he walked away, I rushed to take off the hospital gown and realized that is all I had on. I held it against my naked body and reached out, pulling the shower curtain over me and wrapped it around my body also.

“Here you go.” He walked backwards into the room and placed a pair of pretty pink pajamas and a pair of dainty underwear on the hook. Then leaned in and turned the faucet on. “Let me know when it’s the right temperature.”

I reached out sticking my arm under the water flow; it was cool but rapidly warming.

Perfect.

“There… that’s perfect.” I said softly.

He reached his arm around me, all the while averting his eyes, and pulling the shower curtain to the side, he held me upright as I hopped on one foot.

Once inside, I quickly took a seat and lifted my head, letting the spray of water slowly coat my body.

“Are you under the shower head?” He asked.

I almost laughed out loud. His eyes were tightly shut and his shirt was getting soaked.

“Yes, it’s perfect. Thank you. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Call out when you are done. I’ll leave you some towels here.” He pointed to a little ledge over the toilet.

“I will. Dry yourself off. Your arms are soaked. And Bradley.” He averted his gaze, and I almost laughed. I said almost, “thank you for doing this.”

“My pleasure.”

I unwrapped the small soap and using my hands worked up a thick lather.

Brad took a towel and was drying off as he walked out of the room. He left the door opened just the slightest bit. I lifted my head to the water again and nearly squealed with delight, feeling cleaner by the second. I soaped up my hair with the shampoo that was sitting on the small shelf and rinsed it. As I worked the conditioner into my rat’s nest, I ran my fingertips along the long scar. My stomach tightened. I’m sure it felt worse than it looked. I swallowed, feeling a lump settle in my throat.

“No room for negative thoughts.” I mumbled.

“What was that?”

Damn, he must be sitting right outside the door. Either that or he has the hearing of a bat.

“Nothing…just thinking out loud.”

After I was finished with my hair I used the washcloth and the soap and washed my entire body…twice.  I called out that I was done, and Bradley was there in a few seconds.

“Done?”

“Yes. Could you please turn off the water?” I asked, not wanting to put any weight on my leg.

“Of course.” He reached in and twisted the knob shutting off the water and with his hand over his eyes walked out. I dried off, which in a sitting position was not the easiest thing to do, but it was worth feeling clean again.

I pulled the pajama top on and buttoned the front, then pulled on the panties, which, if you could see me trying to navigate my leg into the little hole, was comical to say the least, and then the pajama bottoms. I noticed I got the hem a little wet.

“Damn it.”

“Are you alright?”

“Yes, I’m fine.”

I pulled back the curtain and saw that Bradley had left a toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste on the ledge. I held onto the bar in the shower and reached over, grabbing both and brushed my teeth in the shower leaning against the wall.

Wow, what a difference. No more cotton mouth, just minty fresh breath.

I hopped over to the door and peeked outside. Bradley spotted me and walked over to where I stood, holding onto the doorframe for balance.

“Here, let me.” He reached under me and effortlessly lifted me in his arms and carried me over to the bed. When he set me down. I noticed that there were two plates made and one glass of wine for him and a glass of water for me.

“Ummm. Smells heavenly.”

On the plate was a steak, filet mignon I think, with a baked potato, asparagus and small salad.

“Do you need help?”

“Only cutting it, I think.”

He pulled it over and cut the meat into bite-sized pieces. Then cut the potato and smeared the sour cream. My mouth was watering just watching him. The steak was perfectly pink in the middle and the sour cream melted on the still hot potato.

“How did you keep it so hot?”

He pulled out two boxes. “I picked it up on my way here. It’s from Delmonico’s. Frank had it all ready for me in the warming boxes when I got there. Told me he undercooked it so that it would be just the way you liked it when I got here.”

“Frank?”

“Yeah, the chef. He’s, um, a friend of ours.” He looked at me like he expected me to remember.

I lifted my fork with a piece of tender filet and slowly, and successfully I might add, brought it to my mouth.

I moaned my delight.

“Wow, this is so friggin’ good.”

“Glad you like it.” He chuckled.

I chewed and swallowed as quickly as I can just so I could shove another piece in right behind it.

“Okay, so you get a gold star for knowing what I like.”

“I know everything about you...” when he saw the look on my face, he smirked, “Okay, almost everything.

After we ate, he put the plates back into the boxes and then the boxes into the bags.

“Thank you again for that. It was amazing.”

“You’re welcome again.”

“Do you think you can do me one more favor?”

“Anything.”

“Get that brush for me.” I pointed to the small table next to me where my mother left me her brush. ‘My mother’, that sounds so wrong and yet so right at the same time.

“Would you like me to brush it for you?”

“I would, if you wouldn’t mind.”

“I always loved playing with your hair.”

Flash
.

I remembered the feel of long elegant masculine fingers lifting and twirling my hair, fingers just like Bradley’s. I didn’t say anything. I kept my memory to myself.

It was mine after all.