Everblaze (Keeper of the Lost Cities Book 3) (23 page)

I know. I thought about turning it in. But . . . it’s the only way I can see my old family. Make sure the rebels aren’t doing anything to them to try to get to me.

Do you think they’d do that?

I have no idea. They seem to be willing to do anything.

An image of Silveny’s unconscious body filled her mind, and she had to remind herself that there were extra security measures at the Sanctuary now.

And you don’t think the Council will protect them?
Fitz asked.

Sophie shifted, choosing her answer carefully.
I think the Council underestimates the danger we’re in.

I do too,
Fitz admitted.
In fact, sometimes . . .

Sometimes what?
Sophie asked when he didn’t finish.
It can be your second secret, if that helps.

Fitz twisted his fingers, cracking each knuckle before he told her,
Sometimes I wish my dad would resign as an Emissary. I know, it’s crazy, right?

Why is it crazy?

Because it’s, like, the most important position anyone can have—besides Councillor.

And one of the most dangerous,
Sophie reminded him.

Fitz’s head snapped up, and she worried she’d transmitted the wrong thing. But he smiled.
Sometimes I forget how nice it is to talk to you.

Sophie’s face burned, and it was the best kind of warm. Like the steam from a thick cup of hot chocolate wafting against her cheeks.

I mean it,
Fitz thought.
I think you might be the only person who really understands how messy our world is getting. Everyone else—even my dad—wants to pretend everything is about to go back to normal.

But you don’t think it will?

I think things are going to get way worse before they get better. Look how many close calls we’ve already had.

His mind replayed the different plantings he’d been to.

His dad’s.

Dex’s.

Hers.

It was bizarre to watch her own funeral from someone else’s eyes, and Sophie wasn’t sure if she wanted to cry or run away or reach out and take Fitz’s hand. Especially when he told her,
I stood there and watched your tree sprout out of the ground. Then you came back, but you were so faded it looked like you were going to disappear. And even though I wasn’t there for this
—he traced his finger over the star-shaped scar on her hand—
Keefe painted a pretty painful picture of how almost dead you looked. So I want you to know that I’m not going to sit at home anymore, worrying about what might be happening to you, or Keefe, or Biana, or my dad. I’m going to be right there with you guys, helping any way I can.

Maybe it was the absolute conviction of his words.

Or the warm touch of his hand.

Whatever it was, Sophie softly transmitted,
Okay.

Fitz let out a breath and leaned back in his chair.
Wow, you agreed to that way easier than I thought you would.

I know,
Sophie told him.
And I’m still tempted to take it back.

Uh-uh, no takesies backsies—especially after I told you about Mr. Snuggles. But I’ll make you a deal. You agree to let me help, and we’ll count it as one of your secrets. So that would mean we’d each only have one left.

Getting out of a secret sounded like a pretty good trade—especially since she had a feeling she wouldn’t be able to stop Fitz from helping her anyway.

Deal,
she told him, smiling as he nodded.

But her smile faded when he told her,
I think you should have to go first this time.

The only other thing she could think to share was something she didn’t even want to admit to herself. But she didn’t have anything else.

Okay, here goes,
she transmitted, shoving out the words before she could change her mind
. I . . . don’t want to know who my biological parents are.

Wow—you’re not even a tiny bit curious?

About the people who gave me up to be some crazy experiment—knowing the kind of danger it would put me in?

Do you think they knew?

How could they not?

How could they? Remember, Sophie, before you came along, kidnappings didn’t happen.

Maybe. But don’t forget, the Black Swan
hid
me. They wouldn’t have done that if they weren’t worried about my safety.

Yeah, I guess that’s true.
Fitz sighed, his fingers absently tracing the Vacker crest on his Foxfire cape—a pair of yellow, diamond-encrusted wings.
But I think I’d still have to know who my parents are. I mean, what if I ran into them and I had no idea?

Sophie looked away.

You think you know who they are, don’t you?
Fitz guessed.

I have a few theories—which I’m hoping are wrong.

She let the silence that followed make it clear she wasn’t going to share them.

Okay, so I guess that leaves me with one last secret,
Fitz thought, letting her off the hook.

And you’d better make it a good one,
Sophie added, trying to smile.

Well, I don’t know if this counts as
good,
but back when my dad used to send me places to look for you, I always took a souvenir from everywhere I went. It was just little things no one would notice—and half the time I didn’t even know what they were. But I wanted something to remember every Forbidden City and prove I’d been there.

Sophie could see from his memories that he’d taken a crunched soda can from the gutters of New York, a discarded gold coin from the steps outside Buckingham Palace, and a “Lost Dog” flyer from a park in San Francisco, plus all kinds of odds and ends from cities she didn’t recognize. She couldn’t believe how many places he’d searched for her.

What’d you take the day you met me?
she asked.

Nothing. I was so shocked that I’d actually found you that I forgot. Especially since I botched it and scared you away, and then I had to take you to our world to prove I wasn’t crazy—which I totally got busted for that night, by the way.

Did you?

Oh yeah. Longest lecture my dad’s ever given me. But I knew you wouldn’t tell anyone—and you didn’t, did you?

Of course not.

See, I knew I could trust you.
His brow puckered.
Huh. I guess I’ve always trusted you—even from the first day.

I’ve always trusted you, too,
Sophie told him.
Well, once I knew you weren’t a serial killer or something.

They both laughed, and Sophie felt her heartbeat change.

But it wasn’t the usual silly flutter.

This time it beat slower, like her heart was settling into the easy comfort of knowing she was with someone who knew her better than anyone else.

Fitz was the first elf she’d met, and the only one who knew what she really gained—and
lost
—the day he found her.

“Whoa,” Fitz said, jumping to his feet.

“Is something wrong?” Sophie asked.

“I don’t know. Just don’t do anything for a second. I need to see something.”

His eyes turned all intense, like he was trying to bore inside her brain. It reminded her of Lord Cassius, though maybe a little less creepy.

Fitz laughed. “Keefe’s dad does have the creepiest stare, doesn’t he?”

“He—” Sophie froze. “I didn’t say anything about Keefe’s dad.”

“I know.” Fitz’s voice was hushed, but the words still felt like a bomb going off inside Sophie’s head. She sucked in a breath, trying not to panic as she thought,
Can you . . . hear me?

She was careful not to transmit the question, or let her expression give the thought away.

And still, Fitz nodded.

He could read her mind.

TWENTY-NINE

H
OW—WHEN—WHY—” SOPHIE STARTED,
not sure which question she wanted to ask first.

Or maybe she knew.

Can you still hear me?

“Yep!” Fitz said, bouncing on the balls his feet. “Though, wow, your thoughts are
racing
. I can’t make sense of any of them.”

Sophie covered her ears, like it could somehow shield her mind—which was when she realized she knew a better way to shield.

“No—don’t—” Fitz tried to tell her, but he was too late. “Ugh, you just blocked me.”

“Good.” She focused on the invisible wall she’d built around her mind, imagining it as thick and solid as possible.

“I thought you trusted me.”

“I
do
. I just . . .”

How could she explain that it was terrifying to have him poking around her brain—especially when he had no problem letting her do the same thing to him?

“I imagine it’s rather jarring, given Sophie’s upbringing,” Tiergan said quietly, reminding them they weren’t alone. “We must remember that Sophie didn’t grow up in a world of Telepaths, and even now that she’s with us, she’s gotten rather used to her mind being impenetrable. Can you blame her for panicking?”

“I guess not,” Fitz mumbled. But he still looked annoyed.

Tiergan turned to Sophie. “I’ll confess, I’d hoped you’d handle the connection a bit differently.”

“Wait—you knew Fitz would be able to read my mind? Why didn’t you warn me?”

“Because it was only a theory. You’d told me this Mr. Forkle—whoever he is—can slip past your mental blocking. And if the barrier around your consciousness is free of imperfection—which it has to be, otherwise the madness of a broken mind could seep in—there would be no way he could sneak through. So I began to wonder if it’s
your
mind that pulls him in, because your mind trusts him.”

“But I don’t trust Mr. Forkle.” Especially not now that she knew the Black Swan had a leak.

“Consciously, that may be true—and with good reason. His preference for subterfuge and disguise hardly instills confidence. But
subconsciously
, I suspect your minds share a mutual trust based on years of close training. Don’t you believe that it was Mr. Forkle who planted the Black Swan’s secrets carefully within your memories?”

“Yes,” Sophie admitted. “But . . .”

She didn’t know what she wanted to say. Her mind was still too overloaded with the realization that
Fitz got into her head.

“So you’re saying all Sophie has to do is trust me enough to let me in, and then I can read her mind?” Fitz asked.

“In the simplest of terms, yes,” Tiergan told him. “But trust is rarely so simple. That’s why I came up with today’s exercise. I’d hoped that if you were forced to share things you’d never shared with anyone else, it would trigger an even deeper connection between you two. Obviously it worked. But I’m not sure how easily it can be replicated—especially now that Sophie knows to have her guard up.”

Sophie felt her cheeks flush. “Sorry. I guess I shouldn’t have freaked out the way I did.”

“There’s no need to apologize, Sophie,” Tiergan assured her. “But I meant what I said about trust being your greatest asset. Letting Fitz into your mind will only make you both stronger during this healing. So I hope you’re willing to try the exercise again—and to not shove Fitz away if he does manage to bypass your blocking.”

Sophie glanced at Fitz as she nodded, wondering if he was thinking the same thing she was.

He must have been, because he asked Tiergan, “Does that mean we have to share three more secrets?”

Tiergan smiled as he sank back into his chair. “No, I think this time it should be five.”

“So what’s going on with you and Wonderboy?” Dex asked as soon as Sandor had left them alone. He’d stopped by after school to make sure Sophie was feeling okay. But she wasn’t really in the mood for company.

“I saw the way he ignored you in study hall,” he pressed as he plopped down beside her. “Something has to be up.”

Sophie stared at the elvin history book she was pretending to read.

What was up was that she’d been so busy trying to keep her mind clear of anything embarrassing that she’d barely listened to the secrets Fitz had shared with her. Even now, the only thing she could remember was that he’d put Fart a la Carte in Biana’s breakfast before her Level One Opening Ceremonies, and gave her a raging case of stinky gas.

And the secrets she’d shared had been fairly lame. So basically, the entire exercise had been a total failure, and Fitz hadn’t talked to her since.

Dex nudged Sophie’s elbow, making it clear he wasn’t going to let it go. So she closed her book—a little harder than she meant to—and told him, “Fitz was just upset because I freaked out when he got past my blocking and—”

“Wait,” Dex interrupted. “He got past your blocking?”

“Yeah. Tiergan had us do this exercise where we had to share all these secrets, and something about the process made my mind pull Fitz past my defenses. Which is cool—but I wasn’t expecting it. So I totally freaked out and blocked Fitz again. And then we couldn’t re-create it, so now he thinks I don’t trust him.”