Every Move She Makes (28 page)

“Probably. I’m losing it.” He pressed one hand to his chest. “Every time I think about the job waiting for me in San Francisco, I want to go hide in a hole.”

“As long as Rachel’s in that hole with you?”

“Yeah.” He let out a sigh. “I’m so caught up in her life, I’ve forgotten I have one of my own. Maybe because this one’s so much better.” Flopping backward, he stared up at the star-filled sky. “Here, I’m making progress. Once I catch the goddamned asshole terrorizing Rachel and her family, it’ll be over for good. For them. When—
if
—I go back to work, the shit never stops. There’ll always be some new psycho spreading misery.”

“I guess there’s only one question to consider.”

“Only one? I can think of a dozen.”

“One that matters. Are you there for Rachel or to play hero and show the world you really can make a difference?”

“I don’t give a damn about the world.”

“Yet, you’re still there. I rest my case.”

“I care about Rachel. She’s what matters—Rachel and her girls.”

“Kane?”

“What?”

“Change can be positive. Healthy. Don’t make a decision based on what’s expected of you. Give yourself permission to be happy for once.”

“What if I’m not the change she wants?”

“What if you are?”

His fingers tightened around the phone. “There’s only one way to find out. But not until I stop this son of a bitch. Until then, life’s on hold, and what I want doesn’t matter.”

“Then find him.”

“I intend to.”

Disconnecting the call, he lay still until the damp grass sent a shiver through him. Levering to a sitting position, he held his head in his hands. When this was over, Rachel might decide being with him was too complicated—or flat out not what she wanted—and send him back to the life he’d come to dread. Still, he had to try. A glance toward her darkened bedroom window quickened the steady beat of his heart.
This
was what he wanted. If he had to risk a piece of his soul to get it, so be it.

Rising to his feet, he strode across the lawn and entered the house, shutting the door behind him with a firm click.

As her girls disappeared down the long hallway past the security gate leading to the loading area, Rachel held back tears as long as she could. Finally, she gave up.

Kane handed her a clean, but wrinkled, handkerchief. “It won’t be for long.”

“God, I hope not.” She wiped her eyes and straightened her shoulders then crushed the handkerchief in her palm. “I want to hit something.”

“You can take a swing at me if it’ll make you feel better.”

Her lips curved in a weak smile. “It wouldn’t.”

They walked to an observation area to wait. Standing at the window, she leaned against Kane Eventually, the big silver behemoth taxied slowly to the runway, roared down the tarmac then lifted into the dull gray sky. The weather was as gloomy as her mood, which hadn’t been improved by the hassle she’d had at the security check point. Kane had flashed his badge, but the attendant still hadn’t allowed them to accompany the girls to the gate.

She sniffed a couple more times and blew her nose. Once the plane was swallowed up by fog, she turned away. Neither spoke on their way to the short term parking garage as they dodged the hurrying crowds.

“Do you want to drive?” He pulled the keys from his pocket and gave them a little toss.

“Not really. I’ve never been a fan of city traffic. I’ll give you directions to Grace’s apartment.”

“Is it okay with you if we stop by my place first? I should collect my mail and see if any of my plants are still alive.”

“Of course. If it wasn’t for me and my problems, your plants wouldn’t be suffering.”

Kane gave her a sideways glance before focusing on exiting the garage and merging into the stream of traffic leaving the terminal area. “They’re just plants. If they’re dead, I’ll buy new ones.”

Rachel wiped away a few stray tears. “I’m sorry. I’m not very good company.” Her lips trembled, and she clamped them together.

He stopped at a red light and reached over to take her hand. “It’s fine to miss your girls. Would it make you feel better to have a good cry and get it out of your system?”

She choked on a laugh. “No, it wouldn’t make me feel better.”

He let out a breath. “Thank God. I never know what to say to a crying woman.”

She managed another weak smile. “Then it’s doubly nice you offered.”

Traffic was surprisingly light, and it didn’t take long to reach Kane’s apartment in an older but well-kept complex on the outskirts of the city. Rachel waited while he tugged a stack of mail out of his box then followed him up three flights of stairs.

He unlocked the apartment door and pushed it open.

Rachel stared. “It looks like a jungle in here.”

Huge potted ferns stood by the sliding glass doors leading to the balcony. A row of African violets graced the kitchen windowsill, and the living room was crowded with a variety of plants.

“They’re sort of overwhelming. My neighbor must be watering them for me. I gave her my spare key. I’ll have to thank her.”

Rachel wandered over to the balcony and stared out at the fog hanging low over the city. “Typical July weather in San Francisco.”

Kane looked up from the mail he was sorting. “Ah, hell.” His hand hovered over an envelope with childish printing on the front.

“What’s wrong?” Rachel stepped up behind him.

He dropped into a chair and opened the envelope. The letter was printed in purple crayon. After a moment, he closed his eyes. “It’s from Mikey, my old partner’s son. He wants to know why his Uncle Kane never visits anymore.”

“Why don’t you?” Rachel rested her hands on his tense shoulders.

“It hurts too much. I look at those kids and know Mike would still be with his family if I’d gone into the alley first.”

“What happened to your partner wasn’t your fault.”

“Maybe, maybe not. It doesn’t make me feel any better either way. Mike had more to live for. He had a wife and two kids.”

Rachel knelt beside him and grabbed his arms, giving them a shake. “You have people who love you. You matter to your father and your brother. You matter to me.”

He pulled her into his arms and held her tight, his cheek resting against her hair. “I think I love you, Rachel.”

She shifted to press a kiss to the side of his neck. “Good, because I think I love you, too.”

His gaze locked with hers. “Now what?”

“We finish sorting this mail then go meet Grace and Nolan for lunch.”

His eyes glimmered with amusement. “You’re very nonchalant about my declaration.”

“Inside, I’m turning cartwheels.” She kissed him lightly on the lips. “Love doesn’t make all our problems go away. Let’s take it slowly and see what happens.”

“Will you tell Grace?”

“Grace has a big mouth. Let’s keep it to ourselves for a while.”

“Maybe that’s best. Once I catch the bastard harassing you we can have a serious talk about the future.”

“Today we’ll just have fun. I need to have fun, Kane.”

He was slow to release her. “I know you do. Let me finish up here, and we’ll go.”

After sorting the rest of the mail, he laid Mikey’s letter on the counter. “I’ll call them. It was wrong of me to avoid those kids. They lost their dad. They don’t need to lose me, too.”

Rachel squeezed his arm. “You have a big heart.”

“I don’t know about that.” He locked the apartment door behind them. “Sometimes I’m a selfish bastard.”

She shook her head. “I don’t believe that for a minute.”

They hustled down the stairs then out to the street to climb into the car.

Kane pulled into traffic. “Where to?”

“Take a right at the corner. I’ll call Grace to tell her we’re on our way.” A minute later she snapped the phone shut. “She wants to meet us in Chinatown, said she has a yen for Chinese.”

“Sounds good to me. Is Nolan going to make it?”

“According to Grace, he’s already en route.”

Traffic slowed to a crawl as they reached the congested streets of Chinatown. Kane glanced over. “Do you mind walking a couple of blocks? I see a parking spot up ahead.”

“Of course not. I could use the exercise. I haven’t been running at all since we got back from Tahoe.”

He parked the SUV in the tight spot with remarkable ease. “I’ll run with you. We can go this evening if you like.”

“That would be great. I hate that this man has forced me to change my habits.”

“It’ll be easier to follow your usual routine without the girls to worry about.”

“I know, but I’m going to miss them.”

He squeezed her hand then took it again as they walked along the busy sidewalk. The shops they passed smelled of incense and were crowded with souvenirs. When they reached the restaurant Grace had chosen, a petite Chinese woman wearing traditional garb approached. “Table for two?”

Rachel shook her head. “We’re meeting another couple.”

“Aw, yes. I was told to be on the lookout for a pretty lady with red hair. You are she?”

“I am.”

They followed the hostess toward the rear of the restaurant where tables overlooked a garden shrouded in fog. Grace and Nolan both waved.

“Well, finally.” Her sister frowned. “I was expecting you ages ago. Was the girls’ plane delayed?”

“We stopped to pick up a few things at Kane’s apartment. Rachel took a seat and gave Nolan an easy smile. “You’re still putting up with this crazy lady?”

“I certainly am.” With an obvious effort, he tore his gaze away from Grace and greeted Kane. “I hear you’re spending your vacation working.”

He grimaced. “Hopefully it’ll be over soon.”

“Really? Do you know who this asshole is?”

“I’ve narrowed down the suspects. With the girls safely in San Diego, we should be able to draw him out.”

“You’re going to use Rachel as bait?” Grace’s voice rose. “Is that necessary?”

“I’m not going to put her in any danger, but I’m hoping to goad this nutcase into making a mistake.”

When Grace opened her mouth, Nolan stopped her with a look. “Kane knows what he’s doing.”

“It’s okay.” Rachel reached out to lay a hand on her arm. “Kane doesn’t let me go anywhere alone. I’m lucky to shower without an audience.”

Grace’s gaze moved from her sister to Kane and back. A smile curved her lips. “With the girls gone, that may change.”

Kane grinned. “I like the way you think. The server’s hovering. Let’s order.”

When the food came, Rachel sniffed deeply. “The Chinese restaurant in Vine Haven isn’t bad, but this is heavenly.”

Grace nodded. “There’re definite perks to living in the city, and food is one of them.”

Kane dove into his Kung Pao chicken. “Just the way I like it—hot enough to blister your tongue.” He nudged Nolan. “How’s the shrimp?”

“Mild enough you can actually taste the flavor.”

The two men grinned at each other.

Rachel looked from Nolan to Kane. “What’s the joke?”

“He hates everything I like and vice-versa.”

“Only when it comes to food. Is anyone going to eat the last egg roll?”

Kane pushed his plate away. “It’s all yours. How’s work?”

“Business as usual.” Nolan frowned. “I was lucky to get a couple of hours off. I’m in the middle of a double homicide investigation with too many suspects to count.”

“I don’t miss it.”

“Some of the guys are wondering if you’ll come back.”

“I haven’t made up my mind yet.”

“You’ll figure it out.” Nolan’s eyes filled with sympathy before he raised a hand to signal for a check. “I hate to break this up, but I have witnesses to question.”

The men split the bill, and they left the restaurant.

Pausing on the sidewalk, Grace pulled Rachel aside and hugged her. “Be careful.”

“I will.”

“I meant with your heart. If Kane breaks it, I’m going to kill him.”

“I don’t think he will. He’s a great guy.”

“He’d better be.” Grace pushed her long hair over her shoulder as they joined the men. “Nail the bastard who’s harassing my sister, Kane.”

“I intend to. It was good seeing you again, Grace.”

“Likewise. I’ll call you soon, sis.”

Arm in arm, Grace and Nolan disappeared into the fog.

“You know, I think those two just might make it.” Rachel turned toward Kane. “Wouldn’t that be something?”

“Am I supposed to answer that?”

“Nope. Let’s go home. If they aren’t too busy in the bookstore, I think I’ll take the rest of the day off.”

Rachel called her daughters the minute she walked into the house. When she hung up the phone, relief mixed with an ache around her heart.

“How are they?” Kane entered the kitchen with Daisy at his heels.

“Excited. Susan and Evan have a pool. The kids were all out swimming when I called.”

“They’ll be fine.” He pulled her into his arms.

She leaned against him and breathed in the clean scent of his skin. “I know. Even Lark sounded like she was having fun.”

“Then maybe we should, too.”

“Did you have something in mind?” Her lips curved in a smile against his throat.

“Let’s see, we could go upstairs and get naked, or we could go for that run. Your choice.”

“How about both? Run first then…” She lifted one brow.

Kane groaned. “Daisy and I will wait right here while you change. Otherwise we’ll never make it out of the house.”

“I’ll be right back.”

Rachel hummed while she pulled on shorts and a tank top. She dug her running shoes out of the closet and laced them up, then tied her hair back in a ponytail. Happiness filled her as she left the room, knowing Kane was waiting. She hadn’t felt these flutters in her stomach over a man in a long time. The sight of Kane kneeling at the foot of the stairs, scratching Daisy’s stomach, sent her heart soaring.

His eyes mirrored her happiness. “Ready to go?”

She nodded, and they set off down the street with Daisy galloping about madly. When they reached the main road, Kane stopped.

“Should we put her on a leash?”

Rachel patted her fanny pack. “I have one with me, but I don’t usually use it. Believe it or not, she’s smart enough to stay away from cars.”