Every Rose (22 page)

I find some of my brother’s clothes from the laundry room for him and sneak back to the bathroom to change. When I come back, he is stretched out on my bed, looking uncharacteristically shy. I smile and lean on the back of my door and take in the sight of him. He’s mine, truly mine. It’s something I never even dreamed possible. It’s funny how life does that to you. You have a plan and dreams and desires. Then, in a flash, all that can change. All that you thought you wanted dissipates and you’re left with you what you needed. Never knew you needed but, nonetheless, did. I pull myself from the door and crawl under the covers with him. We lie there for a while and just hold each other. We speak only a little until we lose ourselves in a cocoon of acceptance and love and promise.

Chapter Twenty-five

A Little Piece of Forever

“Hey, you gonna wake up? It’s our last day together,” he chides me. This is exactly why I don’t want to pull myself out of his bed. These last few weeks have been amazing. “Come on. I’ve got a big day planned for us and you’re messing it up.” He snatches my pillow out from under my head, producing a new round of protests from me.

“Mmm…I don’t want to get up,” I whine. “If I stay in your bed, I won’t have to go back to Oxford, right?” I crack one eye open and admire the sight of him. He looks like he’s ready to take on the world.

He pulls me into a sitting position and crouches down in front me, placing my arms around his neck. “Unfortunately, that’s not the way it works, babe. Time will move on with or without you. Now, we can either have some fun together or sleep our way through our last hours.” He places playful little biting kisses up my arm, across my chest, and back down my arm as he massages my back lightly. This is not helping. All I want to do is put my hands in his hair and pull him back down in bed with me. Before I can make good on my thoughts, he’s up, stuffing things into an overlarge bag.

“Hey,” I call out to him, “Happy birthday, baby.”

“You remembered,” he replies, sounding surprised.

“Of course I did.”

“Let’s go! Up! You’re not distracting me. As bad as I want to be distracted by you, it’s not happening. We’re going to spend an unforgettable day together.”

“Ugh! Why do you have to be so logical right now? I’m supposed to be the logical one,” I protest.

“That’s right. So quit making me take up your slack.”

“Yeah, yeah,” I mumble and make my way to the bathroom. “So what are we doing today?” I mumble around my toothbrush.

“After Mass, we are meeting up with Josh, our drummer, and his girlfriend, who I know you will like, and going kayaking.”

“What’s kayaking?” I frown. This sounds like another of his torturous outdoor activities.

“Similar to canoeing,” he answers absentmindedly. He seems to be trying to decide between two different, yet very similar looking, water bottles.

“Oh. It’s winter! Isn’t there some kinda law against being out on the water in cold weather?” My voice is full of thinly disguised panic.  I hate canoeing! I always tip over! That’s not sexy! I lean on the door frame and cross my arms.

“Not when you live on the Coast and it’s eighty degrees in January.” He doesn’t seem to notice my hesitation.

“Ha! True.” I hope I don’t make a fool of myself. My brain is starting to function now, and I’m wondering about this double date thing, too. “Anyway, I thought we agreed to keep our relationship quiet.”

He saunters over to me, and I swear my body temperature rises with desire. Does he have any idea how sexy he is? “We can trust them. I told them we weren’t making anything official until you graduated. Told them that we wanted to avoid any family drama.” With each word, he gets closer and closer to me until I can feel his warm breath on my face. And even though it’s warm, I shiver.

“Sounds plausible,” I murmur.

He brushes my hair back and my skin burns where he’s touched it. He leans in for a good morning kiss. I think he intends for it to be quick, but I’m having none of that. I quickly deepen the kiss. He even tastes like outdoors, woodsy and fresh. I groan with regret as he breaks the kiss. “Was that not good enough for you, ma’am?” He teases me.

“No,” I pout. Abruptly, he picks me up, eliciting a shriek from me. I circle his neck with my arms, grab handfuls of his hair, and tug gently.
I won! I won! I rejoice.
His kiss overtakes me and all victory flees from my head as I lose myself in our kiss. He’s unrelenting as he backs me up into the wall, and I wrap both of my legs around him, pulling him as close to my body as I can. I feel ourselves join and I yearn so badly for him to be inside of me that I cry out a little.

He breaks the kiss all too soon and leans his forehead on mine. Our breath is coming rapidly now, and we both take a deep breath to calm ourselves. “Well,” his voice cracks and I hear him force a swallow, “was that better?” He’s trying for a joke, but I think I see a chink in his armor. I affect him as much as he affects me. Good to know.

“Mmm hmm.” is all I can muster.

He casts me a sly glance and, ever so gently, peels me off of him. “If you’re not out in ten minutes, I’m coming in after you,” he threatens.

“Promises, promises,” I say to the now closed door.

………………………………………………………

“Kayaking is nothing like canoeing,” I tell him joyfully. “We didn’t tip over once.”

“That’s because you’re with me,” he boasts. “I wouldn’t let you tip over. The water may not be freezing, but it’s still too cold to immerse yourself in.”

We were almost to the small island off the coast where, apparently, there were little campsites for our use. Michael and Josh plan on fishing and grilling their catch for us. I’m told that us girls are to relax and enjoy the view. Fine by me! I like Josh’s girlfriend, Anita, and I really like the way Michael introduced me to her—his fiancée. My whole being filled instantly with love and desire so strong that I wanted to steal him away immediately and have my way with him. Unfortunately, my desire would have to wait as he has our day planned out to perfection. Of course, he wasn’t forthcoming with many details, only telling me that I would love it and not regret leaving the apartment, which I had not so subtly hinted at.

We’ve made our way across the channel and around to the backside of Deer Island. My hands ache from gripping the paddle. Paddling wasn’t very hard to do, but I realize now that I’d held a death grip on the paddle for some reason. As I flex my hands to regain some feeling, Michael pulls them into his own and massages them gently. He gives me a devastating smile that resonates to my core.

Michael and Josh ready their fishing poles while Anita and I make a pallet for us to lie down on. I’ve brought a book and my journal. Anita seems to have brought a book and a sketchpad. Good, I won’t have to entertain her the entire time.

Anita and I make idle chitchat about school and the band and her work. She is an administrative assistant at a bank, but she wants to go to school for design and fashion. She even shows me a few sketches of her really cool rocker
chic
look. She wants to know the usual about me—what kind of law do I want to practice, am I sure that I want to go to school that long.

We sit in comfortable silence for a while. I’m reading. She’s sketching. She politely asks about the book. I tell her it’s one of my favorites—
The Great Gatsby
. She’s astonished that I would read a book more than once. I assure her that certain books are so good that a reread is like the first time all over again. Much to my surprise, she hasn’t read it the first time. I thought it was required reading for every high school junior. I delve into some of the details and focus on telling her about the love story in the book. I tell her all about Jay Gatsby and his plan to make enough money and raise his social standing in order to be good enough for his one true love—Daisy. I only give her enough detail so that her interested is piqued. I hope she reads it.

I ask her if she is sketching more for her rocker line, and she laughs and turns her book so that I can see she is sketching possible logos and designs for the guys’ band. I tell her I’m insanely jealous of her ability. They look really good, and I think they will be impressed.

After a few moments, she breaks the silence again. “So, Mike, huh?” She ventures.

I was wondering when we would get around to that. I bite my lip a little and locate him on his kayak; he’s casting his line. The sun seems to delight in dancing on his dark skin. I roll my eyes. No one has a right to be that beautiful. “Yeah, I know, right?”

“How’d that come about? I’ve never even known him to date anyone,” she admits, seemingly astonished, “and now he’s engaged. It definitely threw me for a loop.”

“Well, we were best friends when we were in school,” I tell her. “We lost touch over the years; but a few weeks ago, we found our way back to each other.” This feels like a completely inept description of our reconnecting, saying anything close to what we’ve experienced, though, is way too personal to share with someone I’ve just met.

“High school sweethearts,” she purrs. “I love it.” She lays back on her folded elbow to rest her head on her upturned palm, giving me her undivided attention.

Her interest fuels my need to talk to someone about him. “Well, not exactly. It was unrequited love. Michael was two years older and obsessed with me,” I admit on a laugh. “And I’m not just being arrogant about that. It was crazy, and it scared the hell out of me. I made him settle for friends. He was amazing as a friend, though. I wouldn’t admit to wanting any more than that at the time even though we had a couple of close calls.”

“Things seem to be working out now. He asked you to marry him, right?”

I glance back out at him and catch him staring at me. His gaze steals away whatever I had been about to say. I give him a little wave, which he returns along with a huge grin and an upheld whopper of a fish. I cup my hands around my mouth and yell, “Way to go, baby.” I giggle at his obviously testosterone-induced reply. I barely make out, “man, meat, and woman.”

“Sorry,” I apologize half-heartedly. “I’m consumed by him.”

“It definitely goes both ways.”

“You think?” I hear the surprise in my voice. I’ve seen the evidence for myself, but I always wonder if my passion is as fervently reciprocated.

“Oh, yeah! I bet he’s great in bed.” My mouth drops; surely I didn’t hear her right. Her next comment confirms the fact that my hearing is perfectly intact. “I mean, he’s the strong, yet sensitive, type. Like, I bet he’s totally in tune with your needs and desires,” she finishes and looks back at me finally, taking in my surprised expression. “Oh, sorry,” she mumbles.

I work my mouth closed and breathe a frustrated sigh. My initial shock over the turn of the conversation has abated. Maybe she can help me with my little problem. “Ya know…he won’t,” I hedge.

“He won’t, what?”

“You know.” I dip my head and raise my eyebrows at her.

She gasps, “What do you mean? Like at all?” I confirm with a nod of my head. “What’s he waiting for?”

“This is between you and me, right?” I question and steal a glance at Michael like I’m afraid he can hear us. She nods her head. “He wants to wait until we’re married so that we don’t complicate our relationship with sex.”

“Ugh,” she replies indignantly.

“I know. I’m dying over here.” I throw myself back dramatically on the ground. “I mean I think the no sex is complicating things worse than the act itself would!”

“Poor thing. I love Josh. We’ve been together forever, so I’m allowed to say this because we’re perfectly secure in our relationship,” she prefaces. “But Mike’s hot and to have the feelings that you and him obviously have going on here and not be able to act on them, must be sheer freakin’ torture. I mean, he’s obviously got it bad it for you, girl, and you for him. And he’s so…mmm.”

I nod my head at her. “Well said.”

………………………………………………………

Michael takes my hand and helps me up from our little picnic. His and Josh’s feast was amazing even out on the little island. They caught plenty of red fish and even had grilled potatoes. We shared an easy conversation with them. It was nice. I could basically feel the sexual chemistry rolling off Josh and Anita and envied them immensely, for they were able to do something about it.

I’m jolted from my thoughts as Michael pulls me into an embrace a little distance from our campsite.  He fists his hand in my hair and pulls my face up to meet his for a bone-melting kiss. I feel something at my back and realize that I’m backed up against a little tree. I throw myself into the kiss, but I break it this time. I’m very proud of myself.

“It’s really not fair,” I complain.

His eyelids stay closed as he murmurs, “Mmm…What’s that?”

“You can kiss me like that and just walk away when all I really want is to pull you down on the ground and make love to you right here, right now.”
Did I really just say that?

His eyes fly open and they burn with passion as he narrows them at me.
Yep, I did.
“Is that what you think? That this is easy on me?”

I nod my head. “It seems that way.”

His hands drop to hold mine by my side, and he threads his fingers through mine, holding them tight. “Oh, baby, I’ve never wanted anything, anyone more in my life. Do you have any idea how low my electricity bill will be this month?”