Every Soul a Star (17 page)
“Well, I guess I won’t be finding any aliens before we move. Ryan was right of course. It was a huge long shot. But it would have been really cool. And it would have made my grandfather really happy. He founded this place.”
“I know,” Jack says, surprising me. “I read it on the brochure in my cabin when I couldn’t sleep last night.”
I laugh. “Then you know about the meteorite that started it all?”
He points at my necklace. “That one, right?”
My hand instantly wraps around it. “Do you want to see it?”
He nods. I slip it off my neck and start untying the string. I haven’t shown it to anyone in years. But something about him makes me want to. I pull open the top of the pouch and let the small chunk of iron fall into Jack’s open palm.
“It’s heavy,” he says. “For something so small.”
He carefully hands it back to me, and I slip it into the pouch. “Looks like this meteorite is the closest I’m going to get to finding a comet or asteroid. Or life on another planet.”
“Not necessarily,” Jack says. “What would you say if I told you I know another way?”
5
With my hair restored to its usual sheen and my makeup on, I feel a little more like myself again. As long as I don’t look down at my clothes. Those boxes really better get here today! As I suspected, Ryan is proving a welcome distraction. He talks a lot and at lunch he entertains Kenny and Melanie (who are now glued at the hip) by telling them stories about vampires and werewolves who haunt campgrounds. He better be making those stories up. I keep glancing over to see when Ally’s parents are going to come out of Mom and Dad’s cabin. I think they’ll have to pass this way. I’m still not sure where everything is around here. Hopefully I’ll never have to find out.
Melanie jabs me with her pointy little elbow. “What?” I ask, rubbing my arm.
“Ryan’s asking you a question.”
“Oh, sorry. What was the question?”
“I just asked what you like to do,” Ryan says, downing his container of milk. “You know, besides wearing other girls’ clothes.” He says this with a wink. At least he realizes I wouldn’t normally dress this way, which is a point in his favor.
Borrowing clothes makes me think of Claire. I wonder what she’s doing right now. She’s probably at the mall with Lara Rudy, the best friend stealer! How do I answer his question? I can’t very well say, I like to take pictures of myself with my friends and then stick them in a Wish Book alongside real models. So I say, “You know, hang out with my friends, go to the movies, shop at the mall, the usual.”
Ryan nods. Kenny says, “That’s not the usual around here, that’s for sure.”
“What’s a regular day like here?” Melanie asks.
Leave it to Melanie to ask questions that no one else (okay, me) wants to hear the answers to.
“Well,” says Kenny thoughtfully. “It depends. If it’s a school day, we do schoolwork in the morning and then do our chores and stuff in the afternoon.”
“But it’s not like real school,” I point out. “You don’t have tests and book reports, right?”
“Sure we have tests. My mom makes them up, but they’re based on the books she gets for us. Then at the end of the year she has to send stuff to the state, to prove we’re learning and everything.”
I turn to Mel. “Can you picture Mom as our teacher?”
“She’ll be too busy,” Mel replies. “We’re gonna do the school-in-a-box thing. It’s different than regular homeschooling—it’s more on our own. The curriculum arrives in a big box and then we have all year to go through it.” She turns back to Kenny and says, “I can’t wait.”
I roll my eyes at Ryan. “Melanie loves school.”
“So do I!” Kenny says. He and Melanie high-five each other. They start to compare their favorite subjects, and I want to scream. I’ve had enough of Melanie and her excitement over everything. For such a genius, it drives me crazy that she isn’t smart enough to see what a bad idea moving here is.
Jack and Ally come into the pavilion, but I don’t wave them over. I thought Ally would be really upset about the whole alien thing, but she looks okay. Jack’s talking and she’s listening intently. Jack’s not the kind of kid I would have given a second glance to at school—he’s pasty and has clearly eaten a few too many cookies—but he seems to be good for Ally. I bet she’s glad I made her brush her hair!
I stand up with my tray and Ryan immediately grabs his and stands up, too. “Do you want a tour of the Moon Shadow?” he asks.
“Okay.” Anything to get away from the two uber-geeks.
Kenny and Mel are now testing each other on vocabulary words and don’t even notice when we leave. As we walk down the path toward the stream, I wonder if all the people swarming around the campground think me and Ryan are a couple. He’s as cute as any of the guys I was considering dating at home, even if he
does
look for aliens in his spare time. I’m cool with him putting his arm around my shoulder, mostly because it would freak out my parents if they saw.
We pass a clearing with a fire pit in the middle of it. A big pile of pointy sticks lay a few feet away. I pick one up and hold it out. “For killing the vampires, I presume?”
“For toasting marshmallows,” he says, grinning. “But if you do run across any vampires, you might want to keep one handy. You know, if your family moves here, you’ll probably get the fun job of whittling the sticks!”
I quickly toss the stick back into the pile like it burned my hand. “I don’t whittle. I’d bleed all over the sticks.”
He puts his arm around me. “Don’t worry, you’ll learn all these things. Ally had to learn everything once, too.”
I push his arm off my shoulder. “I’m not Ally,” I say. “I can’t do all the stuff she can do. And I don’t want to learn how.”
“Hey, sorry, just trying to help.”
“No, I’m sorry,” I say contritely. The last thing I want to do is push him away. He’s my only link to the real world now. “Let’s just talk about something else. Tell me about football tryouts.”
His eyes light up as he tells how the coach specifically asked him to try out, and how he’s working out really hard. My mind starts to drift, and I’m sort of sorry I asked. I think I’d rather hear about the vampires and werewolves again. I’m saved by Ally and Jack running up to us.
“They’re out of the meeting!” Ally says, breathlessly. “They were standing on your parents’ porch when we left. Let’s go. See you guys later!” She grabs at my sleeve and pulls me away from Ryan. I just have time for a backward wave before we’re out of sight.
“Hold up, Ally. Why’d you ditch Jack back there? I thought you guys were getting all hot and heavy.”
She stops running. “Hot and heavy?” She asks this like she has no idea what the words mean.
I sigh. “You know, like you guys
liked
each other.”
“Oh. He’s nice.”
“Nice? And . . . ?”
“And what?”
This girl is hopeless. “Never mind. Let’s just go.”
We keep going and run right into both sets of parents in front of the sign that says labyrinth, this way with an arrow underneath.
“Well?” I ask my parents. Ally shifts her weight from one foot to the other in obvious anticipation.
“What’s up, girls?” asks my father. “Having fun exploring?”
I open my mouth to say
no,
but before I do, they look at each other and laugh. It takes a few seconds to realize they’re laughing at us. I feel my face darken. Ally stops shifting. “What’s so funny?”
Her mother puts her arm around Ally’s shoulders. “Honey, we understand what you’re trying to do, but you’ve got to trust us.”
Mom says, “We should thank you both, actually. You’ve raised some very good points. Forewarned is forearmed, as they say.”
Ally’s eyes fill with tears and mine follow. Ally puts her hands on her hips. “So you don’t mind having a tattooed druggie gang member for a daughter?”
“We’ll take our chances,” says her father. “You’re a smart girl, Ally. You’ll do just fine at school.”
“Don’t count on it!” Ally says. I haven’t heard her talk like this to her parents before. Maybe I’m rubbing off on her.
Her mom reaches out to hug her, but Ally pulls away and runs back toward their house.
“That didn’t go very well,” Ally’s father says. They all turn to look at me.
I back up. “Don’t look at
me.
My
opinion obviously doesn’t count for anything.”
I turn on my heel and walk to the cabin. Dad calls after me, but I pretend not to hear. I feel a strange roaring inside my head. I think it’s my soul screaming. This is really happening. This place is going to be my home.
The cabin is hot, and I don’t feel like waiting till the overhead fan kicks in. I grab my iPod off the dresser and start to leave when I see one of my boxes sitting on my bed. I want to hug it! I tear it open eagerly, and the first thing I see is my Book. I hug it to my chest. Claire’s Book is in here too, along with my curling iron, all my accessories, a pair of flip-flops with jeweled daisies on them, and one V-necked orange shirt. That’s it. My eyes sweep the room, but there are no more boxes. I quickly throw off Ally’s brown shirt and put on my orange one. I kick off my (her) sneakers and slip on the flip-flops. I yank open the accessories bag and put on every piece of plastic jewelry I own. I clip back my hair with barrettes and put on a new coat of peach-colored lip gloss to match the shirt. I have no choice but to keep on the faded tan shorts with the side pockets. Doesn’t Ally know side pockets just make your hips look bigger? No, of course she doesn’t.
I clip the iPod to my shorts and stick in the earphones. I love the sound the flip-flops make across the wood floor. If I closed my eyes, I could pretend I’m walking across the stone tiles at Claire’s pool. I grab my Book and head out the door. I don’t know where I’m going. Just away. I turn on my iPod and set it to random. I turn the volume so high that it blots out the bird calls and shouts of kids and slams of car trunks as more and more people arrive. I have to jump out of the way of a guy lugging a huge telescope across the field. It’s not easy to jump in flip-flops. It’s actually a little tricky to walk on the dirt road too, but there’s no way I’m putting those sneakers back on. Plus I like how my red toenail polish shines against the dull dirt.
I find myself back at the labyrinth sign and figure I might as well check it out. I carefully make my way down the narrow path and am happy to find no one else there. All I see at first is a big circle of stones in some kind of random pattern. When I get closer I can see the stones form circles spiraling inside each other. In the middle sits a tree stump with what looks like a stuffed purple dinosaur on it. A small wooden sign off to the side has a little diagram with the words how to walk the labyrinth. I wouldn’t have thought it needed instructions. Might as well give it a try. Ally said you feel different after you go through it. I don’t know what she meant, but I can’t feel any worse than I do right now.
I stand at the entrance, but instead of taking that first step, I turn around and sit on the little bench next to the diagram. I flip open the cover of my Book, and my eyes instantly fill with tears. I remember this first photo. I clipped it out of
Teen
when I was just nine years old. The girl is probably a little older than I am now. At the time she seemed so old to me. She’s wearing a green prom dress and a tiara and looks like she’s about to go to the party of her life. The next page is of me and Claire in our dance recital outfits. She has a heart-shaped sticker on her cheek, and I have a star-shaped one on mine. I reach out and run my finger over the little stickers.
I feel a touch on my arm and almost jump out of my skin. I whip my head around to find a little old lady in a pink sweat suit and a red scarf. She’s saying something to me, but I can’t hear a word. I yank out my earphones.
“Sorry to startle you, young lady.” She points to the open page. “How adorable! Your little sisters?”
I shake my head. I really don’t want to talk to anyone, but how can I be rude to a little old lady? Even if she IS wearing red with pink. “It’s me and my best friend. When we were nine.”
She nods and waits for me to turn the page. So I do. The next page is a collage of heads. The woman looks at me quizzically.
“It’s for the hairstyles,” I explain, quickly turning the page. This one is all of feet. Feet in high heels, strappy sandals, flip-flops, sneakers, pumps.
“Let me guess,” she says, “you like shoes?”
I’ve never showed anyone my Book before, besides Claire of course, and I’m starting to feel very exposed, like she’s looking inside me. “I’m planning on being a model one day,” I explain, closing the Book and placing my hand on top. “This is my inspiration, that’s all.” I brace for the words that will follow—how it’s such a shallow career choice, how I’ll always have to worry about my looks. But that lecture doesn’t come.
“Ah,” the lady says, getting to her feet. “How wonderful to have a goal already. When I was your age I knew nothing about the world or my place in it. I figured I’d be someone’s wife, then someone’s mother. It never occurred to me to be someone myself. I didn’t figure that out till much later. But you’ve got a head start. Of course, you might still change your mind.”
I shake my head. She heads slowly toward the entrance of the labyrinth. “You never know,” she says. “Life is short, but it’s wide.”
With that, she steps easily into the labyrinth. I watch her move through the circles, and it looks almost like a dance. When she gets in the middle she actually
does
start doing a little dance. She must not care at all what people think of her. If I’m dancing alone in the middle of a labyrinth sixty years from now, something in my life will have gone horribly, horribly wrong.
5
The sharp smell of bug spray floats through the night air. It’s almost too dark to see, but I want to finish my book. I haven’t done much reading since I’ve been here. There’s so much to see, so much to do. This log isn’t very comfortable, but that’s mostly due to how sore my legs are. Ryan warned me not to push myself with the weights, but I wanted to keep up with him. The little red-haired twins are circling around Pete, asking him to play with them. All three kids are in their feety pajamas and sneakers.