She nodded again. “Reed's a nice catch, good family, fantastic job. He's going to make some woman a good husband someday. I know he's several years older than me, but he's only twenty-seven. Mama was sixteen and Daddy was twenty-five when they got married.” Joan stopped talking and stared off into space for a few seconds. Then she started talking in a slow, controlled tone of voice. “Lola, I know I'm young, but I know what I wantâa good-looking, smart, successful husband, a nice home, and a few children.” She stopped talking again, and gave me a mysterious smile. “I want to have a lot of fun too.”
“I want all the same things,” I declared, swallowing a lump in my throat. “That's every woman's dream. Are you trying to tell me you want to marry this man?”
“Maybe.”
I looked at Joan like she had just sprouted a goatee. “Are you serious?”
“Yes, I am serious.”
“Well, if you want to be with him and he wants to be with you, go for it. The age difference is not really that big. My mama was still in her teens when Daddy married her and she was already pregnant with me. He was almost thirty.” I gave Joan a thoughtful look and then I giggled. “Let me know if Reed has any single friends.” I quickly paused and gave her a suspicious look this time. “Why are you even thinking about marriage while you're still in high school?” I whispered. “And what was that abortion comment about?”
“I'm pregnant and Reed is the father,” she blurted out.
“Pregnant?! You?!”
“Lola, stop talking so loud. Put your eyes back into your head,” Joan advised. “It's not the end of the world.”
“But you're going to have a baby. And after all the times you reminded me to keep a stash of condoms in my purse.”
“Lola, I never said I was perfect. Everybody is entitled to at least one big mistake. Even me.” Joan lowered her head and stared into her lap for a few seconds. When she looked back up, I was staring at her with a look of pity that was so extreme, it made her squirm. “Stop looking at me like that!” She stopped talking long enough to grit her teeth. “I already feel pitiful enough. I hope you're not too disappointed in me,” she whined.
“I'm not disappointed in you, but I am surprised. You were the one with all the big plans for your futureâwriting for magazines and traveling all over the world.”
“I know, I know. But things happen.”
“Apparently.” I blew out a loud breath. “Does Reed know?”
“Not yet. I looked up his home number in the telephone book yesterday. I called to see if he had returned from the islands. His voice mail was full and I couldn't leave a message, so I called his office this morning. He's back, but he was with a patient and couldn't take my call. I told his receptionist to let him know that I need to talk to him as soon as possible about an extremely urgent matter. He hasn't called me back yet, and if he hasn't called by tomorrow, I'm going to storm his office.”
“Joan, how the hell did you let something like this happen? And with a man who's almost thirty! You're the last girl in our graduating class I expected to get into a mess like this! The busybodies are going to roast you alive.”
“Fuck the busybodies. They've been bashing me since kindergarten. And for your information, we did use a condom. But, as everybody knows by now, those damn things are not foolproof.”
“Are you sure you're pregnant? Maybe you're just a little late.”
“I've been early before, but never late. Besides, I took two different pregnancy tests three days apart and they were both positive. I would have told you sooner, but . . . well . . . I wasn't ready to talk about it until now.”
“What are you going to do?”
“That all depends on what Reed wants to do.”
Chapter 14
Joan
“Y
OU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE IN FOR
. Y
OUR LIFE WON'T EVER
be the same again,” Lola told me, giving me the third or fourth pitiful look in the last five minutes. I didn't appreciate that look because there was nothing pitiful about me, now or before. Motherhood was going to be a new beginning for me and I was going to do whatever I had to do to make sure it was a positive one.
“Don't you get crazy on me. I'm
just
pregnant, girl, not dying.”
“Remember when Ann Brody got pregnant? She had to drop out of school and go on welfare. She lives with her baby in a shack on some backstreetâ”
I held up my hand and waved it in Lola's face. I had to cut her off before she went too far. “You stop right there!” The last thing I needed was my best friend going off on a tangent. As long as we'd been BFFs, we had never had a serious falling-out. “Ann was a skank. Her family is trifling and in no position to help her, so that's why she had to go on welfare. You know my family will be there for me. I don't know why you think things are going to change that drastically. I'll still be the same person after I have my baby.”
“I sure hope you're right, Joan,” Lola said in a heavy voice.
It was a very tense ride home. When she told me again that my life was never going to be the same, I flat out told her to shut up or talk about something else. After that, we were as silent as mutes until I pulled up in front of her house. Before she piled out of the van, she gave me a hug and told me, “I don't care what happens next. I've still got your back.”
“And I've got yours,” I told her.
Â
Things changed drastically for me the very next day. Reed called me that morning just as I was about to leave for school. He didn't mention his trip to the islands and I didn't bring it up. I figured we'd discuss that after we'd discussed the reason I needed to see him. I gave him my address.
“Joan, I don't know what this is about, but I will be there right after I finish up with my last patient this evening,” he assured me.
I was surprised that he had agreed to come, even though he didn't know why I needed to talk to him.
Then his voice got real soft and gentle. “I've been thinking about you ever since that night we met and, uh, you know. I couldn't send you a note or a postcard or even call you while I was away because you didn't give me your telephone number or your address. And none of the folks who'd attended my party would give that information to me when I asked. Is everything okay?”
“Uh, yeah,” I muttered. I had a feeling Reed knew the reason I needed to talk to him, but I was going to make him wait to hear it from me.
He had not met my family yet. I'd casually mentioned him to them the night I'd hopped in a cab and gone to that party, but nobody had seemed interested. When he showed up at the house in his light green scrubs a few minutes before six
P.M.
the day we had spoken, you would have thought Dr. Phil had walked into our living room. I was glad that only Mama, my stepfather, Too Sweet, and Elaine were present. Had some of my more unsophisticated relatives been on the premises, Reed might have freaked out, especially when he didn't even know what I needed to talk to him about.
“We ain't never had no dentist come to the house before,” Too Sweet said, plopping down on the arm of the couch next to Reed. She looked at him like she wanted to eat him. So did Elaine and it was no wonder. He was tall and he had an athletic body. With his slanted black eyes, curly black hair, pecan-brown complexion, and thin lips, he was way more handsome than most of the men Elaine dated.
Mama was beaming like a high-powered flashlight. She couldn't take her eyes off Reed. Even my lanky, hard-to-please stepfather was impressed. Elmo couldn't stop grinning, showing off his tobacco-stained teeth and the deep lines around his mouth and cloudy gray eyes. He offered Reed some of his best scotch. Mama invited him to stay for dinner. Reed took a rain check on the dinner invitation, but he didn't hesitate to accept the scotch and he probably needed it to calm his nerves. The conversation was neutral. We discussed sports, current world events, and even some TV shows. I could see that Reed was uncomfortable, so I was not going to prolong his visit.
“We'd better leave soon or they'll give up our restaurant reservation,” I said, looking at my watch.
Reed had only consumed half of his drink, but he glanced at me and then finished what was left in one swallow.
“Reed, I'm glad you ain't one of them grumpy old men like Dr. Thompson, the only other black dentist I know of in this town. It's nice for us to have such a nice-looking, young black dentist for a change.” Too Sweet grinned at him.
“Sure enough,” Mama agreed, still beaming like a high-powered flashlight. “Reed, honey, are you sure you don't want to stay and have dinner with us? It's a mean one todayâmac and cheese, pig ears, greens, corn bread, and peach cobbler.”
After hearing Mama describe one of our typical meals, Reed looked like he wanted to puke and bolt. I didn't know him well, but he was a dentist and he probably socialized with a lot of sophisticated people of various ethnicities. I had a feeling that the black people he associated with no longer ate pig ears and greens and whatnotâif they ever had.
“Uh, no and thanks for asking again,” he chortled, blinking hard. “Maybe next time.”
Right after he set his shot glass down on the coffee table, he and I rose at the same time. With everybody asking him all kinds of mundane questions about his practice and his recent trip to Martinique, it took another ten minutes before I could get him out the door and into his car. I decided not to waste any more time to tell him the reason I needed to see him. Just as he was about to turn on the motor of his Lexus, I blurted it all out.
“Reed, I'm going to have a baby.”
His hands froze on the steering wheel and he let out a loud gasp. He whirled around to look at me. There was such a stunned look on his face that it could have stopped a clock. “What did you just say?” he croaked.
“I'm pregnant. And you're the father.” I sniffed. “I know a man like you is probably in a serious relationship with another girl, and I'm not trying to cause you any trouble. But it is what it is.”
Reed narrowed his eyes and blinked nervously. A few seconds went by before he spoke again, and it was in a very shaky and hoarse tone of voice. “I was involved with someone a couple of weeks before I met you, but it didn't work out.” He paused and shook his head. “Well . . . I . . . are you sure you're pregnant?”
“I'm pretty sure,” I said with a nod.
“Does your family know yet?”
“Uh-huh,” I replied with another nod. Last year I thought I was pregnant. When I told the boy who was responsible, the first thing out of his mouth was
“By who?”
I was so glad Reed had not said something that insensitive and insulting. “I told them yesterday. They were disappointed and my parents fussed at me for ten minutes nonstop, but they told me they'd be there for me, no matter what.”
“Hmmm. I'm glad to hear you have such an understanding and supportive family. I never would have guessed that they knew already, as nice as they were to me. I'm lucky your stepfather didn't kick my ass.”
“Two of my sisters were pregnant before they got married, so me getting pregnant is no big deal. I just wanted you to meet some of my folks today, my parents especially. I told them not to mention my condition until I had told you.”
I glanced out the window and saw Elaine peeping from one living-room window and Too Sweet peeping from another. Elmo and Mama were so bold, they stood in the doorway; Elmo had his hands on his hips, and Mama was smiling and still beaming as they stared toward Reed's car. They saw that he drove a shiny new Lexus, so I knew they were all on cloud nine, for sure, by now. I was glad when they all disappeared back into the house a few moments later.
I knew that when I got back home, those four and everybody else who'd be home at the time would get all up in my business.
Reed sighed and then he touched my shoulder and looked at me for a long time with his lips parted just enough for me to see his teeth. They were perfect and his breath was minty fresh. But I'd never known a dentist with a mouth full of yellow rotting teeth and foul breath. What Reed said next made my heart sing. I was suddenly so overwhelmed with joy and relief, it was hard for me to hold back my tears.
“Joan, I really do care about you and I certainly care about the child you're carrying. If I'm the father, I intend to do the right thing.”
“Meaning what?” That other dude had offered to drive me to and from the abortion clinic and pay for any medicine if I needed it. I'd told him right away that I did not believe in killing unborn babies. When I found out that same night I was not pregnant and called him to let him know, he told me to “stay the hell away” from him. “What is the right thing, Reed? I'm not getting an abortion!” I said quickly.
“I should hope not! God is the only one who has the right to take a baby's life!” he yelled. I was so glad to hear that we were on the same page about abortion. “I promised my mother that if I ever got a girl pregnant, I wouldn't hesitate to marry her,” he said with a serious look on his handsome face.
I couldn't believe my ears. Reed's reaction to my news was way more positive than I had expected. The moment I'd realized I was pregnant, I started fantasizing about being married to him, but I had not expected him to suggest it so soon, if at all. I would have been happy if he had only told me he'd support the baby and have a relationship with him or her.
“You'd marry me even though we don't know one another that well? And even though I'm still in high school?”
Reed shrugged. “Well, if you don't want to get married, I will make sure you and the baby are taken care of. I know you're still very young, and if being a mother gets to be too much for you, I'd be more than happy to take full custody of the child. Mother's been praying for a grandchild to fuss over.”
“Are you serious?”
He started the motor. “Yes, I am very serious. I didn't think I'd get married before I turned thirty, but things happen.”
“We can get a DNA test done so you'll know I'm not lying about you being the father,” I offered.
Reed turned toward me with his mouth hanging open. “DNA?” he said with a loud gulp. “Will that be necessary?”
“No, but I don't want you to have any doubts.”
“Were there . . . uh . . . any other men around the same time as me?”
I shook my head. “The night I met you, I hadn't been with anybody for months. And I haven't been with anybody since that night. And I hope you don't think I'm lying.”
“Joan, I believe you. Now, if you want to get a DNA test just for the sake of it, we can do it. I liked you the first time I saw you, and . . .” Reed stopped talking and chuckled. “I thought I'd never tell you this, but even before I got you alone, I told my buddies at the party that I was going to marry you someday.”
“You did?”
“Uh-huh. I knew you were young when I first saw you, but the lighting was dim and I had been drinking, so you looked at least eighteen. Now that I've seen you in better lighting, you look about fourteen or fifteen. Had I known you were only seventeen and still in high school, I would not have approached you.”
“I told my hairdresser I was eighteen. She wouldn't have invited me to the party if I'd told her my real age.”
“Well, I guess I'm glad you lied about your age.”
“I'm glad I lied too.” I was so elated it was hard for me to keep myself from giggling like a giddy teenagerâeven though that was exactly what I was. “I'd be happy to be your wifeâif my parents let me get married. I mean, I hardly know you.”
“True. Would you rather wait a couple of years so we can take our time and really get to know one another?”
“If you're willing to marry me now, that's fine. I don't want to wait a couple of years to get to know you, but I can wait a couple of months. That's enough time for us to get to know one another. . . I think.”
“What do you really want to do, Joan?”
“I want to be married before I have my baby. That's what I really want to do.”
“Then we'll get married. All you have to do is let me know when you want to do it.”
“Okay,” I mumbled. Tears of joy slid down the side of my face. I smiled all the way to the seafood restaurant we went to. We held hands in a candlelit booth while we made plans for our future.