Everyone Deserves a Second Chance (10 page)

The day passed him as he
sat there. It was the call of nature that finally forced him
outside to take a piss. The nicker of the horses in the stables
pulled at his heart and his breath caught in his throat. He knew
he had to sell them, every single one of them. They couldn't
stay.

The house was an entirely
different matter. He couldn't bring himself to sell it, and yet
he couldn't bring himself to continue living in it. Everyone in
town knew about what had happened. Word spread fast in a place
this little. Thoughts of his unsuccessful suicide filled the far
reaches of his mind. He felt embarrassed as he pulled his truck
to a stop in front of Rick Russell's house.

Connie opened the door with little Brian on her hip. He was
starting to teethe and fussed in her arms. She held out a hand to
him and drew him inside when he stood looking uncertainly at his
feet at the doorstep. Inside she didn't ask any questions or give
him any sympathetic looks, only handed Brian over saying, "Hold
him while I check on dinner."

"I went to that new
clinic this morning." Marcus said coming up behind her in
the kitchen with Brian in his arms. "I thought it might
help…"

"Did it?"
Connie asked as she stirred the spaghetti and hummed a little
tune under her breath.

"I don't know. I
left before really giving it a shot." He shifted his weight
from one foot to another in his impatience.

Connie dipped a spoon
into the spaghetti sauce and fed it to Marcus. "Good?"
When he nodded she added a dash of salt and turned off the
burner. "I take it you're staying for dinner?" She
raised an eyebrow in his direction.

"Yeah, if you'll
have me."

"You're not the kind
of person who's likely to turn things down without giving them a
try first." She said circumspectly as she set out an extra
plate for dinner.

"Yeah well this is
different." He answered, pulling Brian's curious fingers off
of his hat.

"Is it?" Connie
took Brian from his arms and put him into his high chair. The
little boy giggled and stuffed his entire fist into his mouth
where he sucked on it greedily.

"I know you're
hungry baby. Dinner's coming." She cooed at the infant
before moving back around to the kitchen.

"Hey honey!"
Rick came in the side door and gave her a kiss on the cheek.
Connie smiled up at him before brushing at the stain on his
shirt.

"This is a brand new
shirt." She said with a sigh thinking of how tight there
budget was lately with Rick trying to setup his own store.

"And your lunch
looks so nice on it, now doesn't it?" Rick said with a
chuckle. His face went solemn when he saw Marcus.

"Marcus." Rick
said nodding at Marcus and then he turned quickly away.

"Connie says I can
stay for dinner." Marcus said reluctantly pulling his hat
off his head and raking his hands through his unruly hair. "You
don't mind do you?"

"Of course not.
You're welcome here anytime." Rick smiled at the distraught
man and gestured for him to take a seat at the kitchen table.
"Connie makes the best spaghetti. Isn't that right honey?"

"You eat enough to
feed all the starving children in Africa." She said with a
smile as she served both men large plates of the steaming pasta
before she joined them with her own.

"I was wondering.
Uh, do you mind selling the horses?" Marcus directed the
question at Rick before he dropped his eyes back to stare down at
the plate. He picked at the food before him.

"No, not at all."
Rick slurped up a forkful of spaghetti. "I'll come pick them
up tomorrow morning if that's okay with you."

"Yeah, that's fine.
The sooner the better." Marcus said finally taking a bite of
food under Connie's watchful eyes. "Thanks."

"Marcus told me he
went to the new clinic this morning." Connie said as she
opened a jar of baby food and started spooning the green pea goo
into little Brian's mouth.

"Oh yeah? How did
that go?" Rick asked as he got up to refill his plate.

"I didn't stay that
long." Marcus muttered, suddenly feeling ashamed of himself.

"That's too bad."
Rick said as he sat back down at the table and started to dig in
again. "Tim said she was a really nice woman. She just moved
here from Chicago. Wanted to be close to her family now that
she's a widow, from the way I heard it."

"Yeah well. I better
go." Marcus stood up and brought his plate to the sink under
the concerned eyes of the young couple. "You'll come get 'um
early right?"

Rick nodded in
understanding. "Before I go to open the store."

"Thanks. Greg.
Connie." He nodded at both and shoved his hat back on his
head. With his back turned he didn't see the worried expression
that passed between them. He slipped out the front door and was
gone.

The drive back home in
the dark seemed even lonelier to him then the drive to Rick and
Connie's earlier that evening. When he pulled up to the house he
had to use his force of will to get out of the truck and walk the
few steps to the door.

A wave of sadness overwhelmed him as he stepped over the
threshold into the kitchen. He could smell her favorite shampoo
lingering in the air. As always the kitchen floor was spotless.
When he pulled off his boots and let the mud splatter across the
clean surface he felt as if he was slowly loosing a part of
himself. From the refrigerator he pulled out a six-pack of beers
and carried them up the three flights of stairs to his room.

He let them fall to the
floor one by one as he emptied them sitting on the bed. It dulled
the pain when his mind was too blurry to focus, to confused to
feel. When the last empty can hit the floor it sounded like a
gunshot to his intoxicated ears. Slowly he stood up and went to
the window seat, lifting up the wooden top that covered the rack
beneath.

When he removed the spare
shotgun her words echoed through his head. "Sometimes it
helps to talk about things that are bothering you." As he
pumped the handle he heard the unmistakable sound of the
cartridge entering the chBrenda. This time he wouldn't be out of
bullets. He turned it to his head and squeezed the trigger.
Complete darkness.

Marcus sat up abruptly in
bed. He was covered in sweat and his heart was racing. His hands
went to his head and chest. He let out a relieved trembling sigh
when he found he was all in one piece. The dream was so real it
scared him. Only when he'd taken the shotgun out of the gun rack
those years ago he'd removed the bullets. The gun never went
loaded anymore. The two cartridges he'd removed from the chBrenda
were still sitting on the dresser in his room. He didn't dare
tempt fate three times.

"Marcus? Are you
okay?" Brenda sat up beside him and laid a hand on his arm.
He didn't realize he was shaking until he felt her fingers
tighten to steady him.

He nodded. "I'm
fine. Just a bad dream." He closed his eyes and buried his
head into her soft shoulder. Her skin felt smooth and the press
of her naked flesh had a soothing effect on his nerves. His arm
wandered to one of her large breasts and he took it into his
hand. He could feel her entire body melting into his as he
lowered his head and sucked her nipple hard. Her moan stirred him
to erection and he found himself slipping inside her once again.

Their movements were
fluid in their union as they made love to each other. They were
not unfamiliar lovers and knew how to satisfy each other to the
fullest. When Brenda came Marcus wasn't far behind her. He fell
breathlessly on top of her and allowed her to feel the weight of
his body for a few moments before he managed to pull himself
away. She snuggled up next to him and laid her head on his chest.
Her hair tickled his nose and he brushed it away as he'd done
many times before.

"We can't keep going like this." Brenda muttered into
the muscular ridges of his chest.

"What?" Marcus
pushed her hair away from his nose again and then put his arm
around her shoulder.

Brenda turned her face up
to look at him. "Like this. Me sending Lauren off to my
parents every time you and I want to be alone together. It's not
right to her and what does it say about us? That one night of
passion is more important then an eight year old?" Brenda
pulled away from him and sat up.

"You don't have to
send her to your parents' house. We could just be more careful."
Marcus ran his hand across her thigh and then up between her
legs.

"And teach my
daughter that it's okay to go sleeping around when she isn't
married? I don't think so."

Marcus sighed and
withdrew his hand. He pushed himself up so that he was sitting up
also. "What do you want from me Brenda?"

She turned to look him in
the eyes. With her hands she took hold of his face and kissed him
passionately on the lips before she broke away. "You know
what I want Marcus."

"I—um—I
should go." Marcus pulled away and started to gather his
clothing. When he was dressed he turned back to look at her.
Tears ran down her face and she made no attempt to stop them.

"Brenda…oh
Brenda don't cry." Marcus sighed and sat down on the bed
beside her, wrapping his arms around her.

"I won't wait for
you forever Marcus. I won't torment myself by living for a dream
that will never happen."

Marcus wiped the tears
from her eyes. "I just need more time to think things
through. You understand don't you?"

"Marcus, I hate to
tell you this. I know you don't want to hear it, but you have to
choose. She has a life Marcus, and so do you. Every person has
their own path. I have to take mine and you have to take yours.
It's up to you to decide if you want to go down the same path
I've chosen or if you want to take your chances on a different
one."

"Can I still stay
the night?" Marcus asked into her hair. His arms were wet
where her tears had fallen. Even if he wanted to he couldn't
bring himself to leave her tonight. Not now. Not like this.

"Of course you can,"
she whispered and she turned to undress him once again.

She pressed her eyes tightly closed and ran her fingers roughly
across them. She was so tired; she knew she needed to go to
sleep. In the morning she had to drop Garrett off at school
before she could head in to her office at the bank. Things would
get better for her as she made a new life for herself. Everything
would be okay.

Lindsey awoke with a
start as her alarm clock went off. Garrett was already awake and
playing with the cat on the floor in the living room. She watched
him for a few minutes, regretting she'd fed the poor stray the
evening before and allowed it into the house, and then hurried
off to take a shower.

"Why can't we stay
with Marcus momma?" Garrett asked as she pulled his clothes
on and ran a brush through his hair. She licked the palm of her
hand and tried to get it to lay flat but it was no use.

"Because, we need a
house of our own. You know that. That's why we came down here in
the first place. Remember?" She pulled his jacket on and
again brushed at his unruly hair. It would never lay flat.

"But I liked the
horses!"

Lindsey sighed and threw
her hands up in the air. "Look Garrett, I'm doing the best
that I can. I'm sorry if my best isn't good enough for you, but
it's all I have. Now come on, I don't want you late for school.
You've missed enough as it is." She dragged him along by the
hood of his coat as he continued to complain and protest. It was
only when she agreed that he could keep the cat that he decided
to stop pestering her and leave the radio alone.