Everything Changes (5 page)

Jase rolled his eyes. “So we both got some satisfaction. Can I go back to bed now?”

“And I had sex with a woman. How about you?”

Jase froze in the act of climbing back into his narrow bed, and he turned and sat heavily on the edge of it, his face white. “What?”

“We saw you last night, Jase,” Carey grated. “Outside that bar. You need to be more careful, man. You were in full view of anyone walking by.”

Jase scrubbed his hands over his face, his eyes stricken. “Who were you with? Did anyone else see?”

“Just Rhiannon. And she thought it was fucking hot.” Carey grinned briefly before advancing on Jase. “What the fuck were you thinking, Jase? If it had been anybody else but me, your career would be over. Ever heard of DADT?” he finished sarcastically.

“I was drunk, man,” Jase muttered. “We were going back to his place and—well, you don’t need details.”

“Fuck right I don’t. I saw enough.”

“We didn’t fuck against the wall in the middle of the sidewalk!” Jase shot back defensively. “We just got sidetracked for a minute.”

“Jesus, Jase.”

“What are you gonna do, Carey?” Jase asked.

“I’m not gonna turn your dumb ass in, if that’s what you’re asking,” Carey shouted. “Thanks a lot for the trust, man. I don’t care who you fuck, I just don’t want you to get caught doing it!”

They stared at each other for a tense minute before Carey blew out a breath and said quietly, “I didn’t even know you were gay.”

“I’m not” was Jase’s surprising answer.

“Then why—”

“Listen, Carey. I’m open-minded when it comes to who I’m attracted to. I met that guy at a party last week, you know, the one I went to with Linda?”

Carey nodded. Linda was a girl Jase saw off and on, and Carey knew they slept together occasionally, just fuck-buddy type stuff.

“We got to talking, and there was something there, you know? A spark? He actually
is
gay, and he wanted to take me dancing. So we went to a bar that he knew of, the one you saw us at. Damn, I can’t believe—a fucking close call, man.”

“No shit. And I’m not gonna report anything, dude. I’d never do that. I just wanted to tell you to be more careful next time.”

“Noted,” Jase said. “And thanks, Carey.” He stood up and laced his fingers behind his head, pacing restlessly back and forth, working off the adrenaline of the scare.

Carey couldn’t help but trace his eyes over Jase’s body. “So you and that guy—”

“Fucked?” Jase’s voice was full of laughter. “Well, he fucked
me
. I would have returned the favor, but we both passed out.”

“Jesus,” Carey breathed, his face beet red. “How does that even work? Oh God, forget I asked that. I don’t wanna know.”

Jase waggled his eyebrows, the tension in the room fully dissipated. “It works
very
well. Want me to show you?”

“No!” Carey put his palms out, backing up. “No thanks. I’ll just—leave that here.” He fled back to his girlfriend to the sound of Jase’s delighted laughter.

C
AREY
WAS
jolted out of his reverie as Jase tossed his phone on the table and plopped down in his seat, taking a huge slug of orange juice. Just then their server appeared with plates piled high with steaming pancakes slathered with butter and hot maple syrup.

The girls who had been flirting with Jase walked by on the sidewalk yet again, their eyes widening and their giggles intensifying when they caught sight of Carey, and Carey could hear their whispers clearly. “Oh my God, they’re both so
hot.”

Jase rolled his eyes discreetly at Carey, and Carey covered his laugh behind his hand. “Your fan club,” he murmured, and it wasn’t too much longer before the girls finally drifted away, giggling about “eye candy.”

“You dating anyone right now, Carey?” Jase asked, wiping his lips on a napkin. Carey swallowed his bite of pancake, shaking his head.

“Nah, too busy,” he replied. “I was dating someone a few months ago and she broke up with me, said I didn’t have enough time for her.” He shrugged. “It was true. I didn’t. She didn’t like it, so she left.”

Jase nodded understandingly, and Carey, suddenly curious, asked, “How about you? That guy at the club last night said you and he were getting serious.”

Jase choked on a mouthful of juice, and Carey waited while he coughed it out, his face red and his eyes watering.

“Jayden?” he gasped. “Oh fuck, no. He’s a—well, this makes me sound like a douche, but he’s a convenient and willing mouth. He makes it available, and I’m not gonna turn it down.”

Carey had a sudden vision of Jase, his graceful hands buried in thick blond hair, moving his hips as he drove himself down the groupie’s “convenient” throat. Carey already knew how Jase looked and sounded when he came, mouth slack with pleasure and husky moans ringing in Carey’s ears—

Face flushing, Carey shoved that long-buried memory away and shifted uncomfortably in his chair, hoping like hell the cloth napkin draped over his lap hid how tight his board shorts had suddenly gotten. Where the
fuck
had that thought come from? Carey had suppressed that memory so deep he’d almost convinced himself it had never happened—

Jase stood, and as he pulled his wallet out of the pocket of his own shorts, the swimsuit dipped low on his hips with the motion, outlining a tanned slice of muscled belly. Carey felt his mouth dry up at the sight. Jesus Christ, what was going on with him all of a sudden?

Jase tucked several bills into the folder the check was in, and Carey stood up, willing his traitorous body into submission.
I must really need to get laid
, he thought with a tinge of hysteria, following Jase through the gate and out onto the sidewalk, heading toward where Jase’s Jeep was parked at the curb.
How long has it been?

Jase had put the top down on the Jeep earlier, and Carey let the cool breeze waft over his heated face as they drove. He calmed down, and in just a few short minutes, they pulled up to the curb alongside Jase’s favorite slice of Coronado Beach. It was well away from the crowds outside the popular Hotel del Coronado, and the curb parking meant the walk to the sand was shorter.

As Jase started unloading beach gear and carrying it across the glittering sand, Carey took off his prosthetic leg, laying it carefully along the narrow backseat of the Jeep and covering it with an old blanket he found crumpled on the floor. Jase appeared next to him and silently handed him his crutches, and Carey swung himself carefully down from the passenger seat, following Jase in the direction of the beach chairs he had set up.

Crutching one’s way across soft sand was
not
Carey’s idea of a good time, and by the time he reached the chairs, he was sweaty and out of sorts. Jase didn’t say anything or offer any help, and Carey was grateful, knowing he wouldn’t have been able to keep himself from snapping at him if he had. People always thought they had to “help,” not realizing most of the time they were more of a hindrance than anything else. As a medical professional as well as Carey’s friend, Jase was well aware of that, and Carey was able to catch his breath in peace as Jase busied himself setting their cooler and Carey’s leg bag within reach.

“Gonna go get in that game, if that’s okay,” Jase said, nodding toward a rousing game of beach volleyball that was going on nearby. “Shout if you need me.”

Carey nodded back, and Jase winked at him before stripping his T-shirt off and loping toward the group of volleyball players. They seemed to know him, and several of them high-fived Jase in welcome. Soon the game was back in full swing, and shouts of competition and grunts of exertion reached Carey’s ears. He shook his head, firmly casting off the feeling of self-pity that crept over him at times like this, times when he was sitting on the sidelines like the fucking cripple he was, unable to forget how just a few short years ago he was as able-bodied as the rest of them.

As if Jase was aware of his thoughts, Carey saw him cast a few surreptitious glances in his direction, unable to hide the concern on his face.

Carey raised his bottle of water in salute, then made a show of fishing his iPod out of his bag and putting in his ear buds, relaxing back in his chair with his eyes closed as if he didn’t have a care in the world. After a few minutes, he opened his eyes again and saw with relief Jase had focused fully on the game again, his worries seemingly put to rest.

As Carey drifted in a haze of sunshine and the music from his favorite playlist, he found his eyes continuously wandered to Jase, easily the fittest, best-looking man in the group. His board shorts hung low on his slim hips, and his ridged abdomen, muscular shoulders, and arms were on full display. Carey watched appreciatively as Jase went for a smooth block, jumping straight up with powerful legs and stuffing the ball in the other guy’s face with a shout. That meant a point for Jase’s team, and there was a round of high-fives and good-natured ribbing back and forth.

Eventually the game broke up and Jase jogged easily over to where Carey sat, flopping down on a towel next to him. Jase was glistening with sweat, his chest rising and falling as he panted with the recent exertion. Carey extracted a bottle of water from their cooler without being asked, handing it to him. Jase grinned his thanks, then guzzled the water while he made appreciative noises in the back of his throat. Carey stared at Jase’s full lips where they wrapped around the end of the bottle, the muscular throat moving as he swallowed, and another unwelcome frisson of heat pooled in his abdomen at the sight.

“Hey, wanna go boogie boarding?” Jase asked, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. “One of the guys brought a ton of boards and said we could use a couple.”

Carey jumped at the chance for a distraction, tucking his iPod away with an enthusiastic “Sure.” Carey loved being in the water. The weightlessness of it counterbalanced his one-legged status, and who cared if he fell over? It didn’t hurt in the water, and he had two arms that worked just fine.

He watched as Jase got up and jogged over to a stack of boogie boards, snagging two of them and tucking them under his arm, walking back over to Carey and extending his free arm.

“Up you go, bud.”

Carey grasped Jase’s offered forearm and pulled himself upright, balancing on his support leg. Jase slid his arm around Carey’s waist, waiting for Carey to put his arm around Jase’s shoulders in return. Fuck, Carey hadn’t thought this through very well. As a distraction from weird thoughts about Jase, this wasn’t working. Their bodies were plastered together from shoulder to hip along the side, and the clean, fresh smell of Jase’s sweat filled Carey’s nostrils. Unbelievably he felt his cock twitch, and he jerked away in reflex, almost falling over before Jase’s arm tightened and pulled him back.

“Whoops,” Jase laughed. “Almost lost ya. Let’s go.”

Jase walked carefully toward the surf, acting as Carey’s crutches as he hopped next to him, steering him around any deep wells in the sand, getting them to the surf with no real mishap. Once they were chest deep, Jase handed Carey a boogie board and dropped his arm from around Carey’s waist.

Carey was extremely grateful for the cold water, and he leaned on the boogie board and stroked away from Jase without a word. He was confused and upset, wondering where and how he’d become so aware of Jase in a physical way.
I must really need to get laid
, he thought again, grasping onto that explanation with a sort of desperation. There was no shortage of women at Jase’s concerts, and he knew Jase would set him up with somebody if he wanted. But no, casual sex wasn’t Carey’s style, and he just couldn’t picture himself hooking up with someone like that.

Jase floated up to him, and the two of them stroked out together deeper into the surf, floating face down on their boards, waiting for the perfect wave. Bobbing here in the water, feeling free and independent, Carey could almost imagine himself whole again, and he couldn’t help grinning.

He heard Jase catch his breath next to him, and Carey glanced at him, surprised to see a very strange look on his face. Jase looked almost… hungry, and his eyes burned briefly with a strange emotion. Both looks were gone almost immediately, and it was just Jase again, smiling back at Carey, his eyes squinted against the sun.

He whooped as he caught sight of a wave barreling toward them, and they paddled their arms frantically, trying to get ahead of it and catch it just right. Carey did, soaring on top of the wave, hooting in exhilaration as he surfed toward the shore, the saltwater splashing in his face, the rush of adrenaline welcome as he rode the wave all the way to the sand.

He lay there like a beached whale, grinning like a fool as Jase emerged from the surf, the water running in rivulets down his lean body, catching in the ridges of muscle and glimmering like diamonds in the hair on his abdomen. Carey stared once again, and this time he couldn’t deny the heat coursing through him was anything but pure desire.

Jase leaned down, extending his arm again to help Carey up, intending to get him back out into the surf. Carey stood stiffly as Jase circled his arm around his waist again.

“I think I just want to go back to the chair. You can surf if you want.” He could hear how curt he sounded, and he flinched internally. Jase looked at him in surprise.

“But you only surfed once, and you caught that wave like a boss. Let me just….”

“I said no, Jase! Just get me back to the chair. Please.”

Carey couldn’t look at his friend, and after a moment, Jase said tersely, “Sure thing.”

His face was stiff with hurt, but Carey wasn’t able to say anything. How could he explain something he didn’t really understand himself? In silence they made their way back to Carey’s beach chair, and Jase lowered him gently. Carey snatched his arm away from Jase’s shoulders as soon as he could, turning away to ostensibly dig in the cooler for a drink, but more so that he wouldn’t have to meet Jase’s confused eyes.

“I’m gonna catch a few more. You’ll be okay here for a while?” Jase asked.

“Yeah,” Carey muttered. “Take your time.” Without another word, Jase turned and jogged toward the surf, and Carey closed his eyes, shame washing through him. Hurting Jase was always, always the last thing he wanted to do.