Everything He Wants (19 page)

"It says here you're on the pill?" She raised her eyebrows at me.

Heat brushed my cheeks. "I was, yeah. I've been late, but I figured it was from the pill since I'd been spotting so much."

She nodded. "That can happen. And what about now? Are you still taking them?"

Kind of pointless now, isn't it?
"No."

"Okay, good."

She read a few more notes and paused again. "I don't see the father's name here. Is he..."

"It's...complicated."
I haven't told him yet.

"I see." Dr. Cruz jotted down more notes. "I'll need a medical history from him the next time you come in, if at all possible."

The rest of the appointment continued as I expected. She took a urine sample, which did say I was pregnant—five weeks to be exact. She also took some blood, got a full history of my family and set me up for another appointment in two weeks. All in all, it was a painless appointment, but knowing I was pregnant instead of just seeing it on a home pregnancy test made it real. Harder to swallow.

Sitting in the parking lot again, I considered how much easier things would've been if I'd let Marisa come with me. My hands shook. I wasn't sure if it was safe for me to drive home. But who could I call?

Jake was at work, and I honestly wasn't sure if I was ready to tell him.
Not like this.
As for Marisa, I'd already troubled her enough.

Taking a deep breath, I white-knuckled the steering wheel and turned on the ignition. G
et home. Then you can freak out.

J
ake was waiting for me when I got home. It was only two in the afternoon, so he was either home for lunch or came by to pick up the papers he forgot to take with him this morning. He glanced up from the kitchen table when I walked in the room. His suit jacket was haphazardly draped over the back of a chair while a collection of papers were spread out in front of him.

"What's this?' I asked, picking up one of the papers, which he quickly took from me.

"Nothing you need to be worrying about," Jake replied with a smile, standing up from his chair to give me a hug. "Where are you coming from? Taking the morning off?"

I frowned at the papers as he gathered them up in his arms, but I knew better than to press him.
Probably something to do with a top secret trial.
"I dropped by to see Marisa." I set my purse and jacket on a chair and searched the cabinets for some tea.

"Oh? What for?"

A shiver ran up my spine when he nuzzled my ear. "I had a few questions about the demo. Just to get an idea of how things might progress." I grabbed a bag a chamomile, as I didn't think I could handle anything stronger than that, and plopped it into an empty mug.

Jake reached around me to fill the kettle with water before placing it on the stove. "Stomach still bothering you?"

I didn't miss the slight hint of disappointment in his voice.
He has plans tonight, remember?
My morning sickness would be gone by then.
Possibly within the next hour or so.

"Nerves," I lied, leaning into him. "You're home early again. Is that a new case you're looking at?"

He'd never share details with me as it went against his rules, but I knew a few of his clients had worried him. He lost sleep over it. I'd caught him up more than a handful of times.

"Something like that," he said, hugging me from behind. "You sure you're feeling okay?"

A lump formed in the back of my throat, and like so many other times today, I fought it back down. "Yeah."

"Well, we have a few hours before we have to head out. So, if you like, once you've finished your tea, I could draw a bath." He turned me around to face him. "You look exhausted."

And I was. Every night, I waited for sleep to take me. It never did. My second wind had come and gone a few days ago. I honestly had no idea what was holding me together anymore.

"I might lie down after I've had my tea," I said, cupping my hands around the mug once Jake filled it with water. "I'll be fine in an hour or two."

He cocked his head. "So long as you're sure. I'll come up to check on you in a bit. You want me to wake you up after an hour?"

I waved a hand, dismissing his offer. "I should be up before then."

"Being the light sleeper you are, I believe it." He kissed me on the cheek and gathered up his things. "I'm going to finish with this, then we can talk about tonight."

I rested my head against his shoulder when he hugged me. In that moment, I realized I could've slept anywhere. His shoulder was almost as comfortable as my pillow or any bed I might find. He pulled away and headed into another room. Sleep tugged at the front of my mind then, and without giving it a second thought, I dumped my tea down the drain before heading up the stairs. Tea and everything else could wait. But if I didn't collapse on a soft surface soon, I risked breaking a piece of furniture, not to mention myself.

* * * *

I
t's amazing what an hour of sleep can do when you haven't slept that well for a few days. Fifteen minutes dozing off can feel like a full eight hours. Now I knew how it felt to be an insomniac, and I liked it even less than I imagined. I thought for sure being awake all the time would've meant doing more work. But by day three of my sleepless marathon, working resulted in errors—errors that, on a week's worth of cutting, gluing and sewing—I couldn't afford.

But now, on only an hour of sleep, I could do anything, including whatever it was Jake had planned for the evening. And he’d already taken the liberty of picking out my clothes.

A corset and skirt were folded on the dresser, along with one of the first masks I'd ever made. I picked it up and studied the cheap material. I'd loved it when I first finished it. The blues of the fabric and the white feathers gave it an elegant look without being too flashy. And even after I showed it to Jake, he'd insisted I keep it.

"It suits you,"
he'd said, back when I put it on to see how it fit for the hundredth time.

I looked at the material again. It didn't suit me anymore, not after living the lifestyle for as long as I had.

"Ah, I see you found this evening's outfit," Jake said, walking into the room. He pressed his lips to mine. "Feeling better? You don't look as pale."

"I do, thank you." I set the mask on the dresser and hugged my evening clothes to my chest. "You never told me where we're going."

It couldn't have been
The Limelight.
We only ever demoed on Wednesdays. And last I checked,
The Limelight
didn't have anything planned for this evening.

"You're right," Jake said, picking the mask up before I could give it a second thought. "And I'm not going to. Now, go on and get dressed. This evening's events start earlier than usual."

He fixed the top buttons of his dress shirt, then headed down the hall. Whatever he had planned, he was dropping more questions than hints. He was super secretive when, most of the time, I could get a location out of him.

Not this time.
Wherever we were going, it wasn't any place I'd ever been to. Not that that was saying much, but where else was there for us to go? The corset he set out was black and blue lace.
It has to be a club.

But which one? And why now? On a Tuesday. Not only was it the beginning of the week, but it was also the day before a demo. Last I heard, it was still on for tomorrow evening. According to Jake, he never played with a sub two nights in a row.
So far.

"Subs need a break between scenes,"
he'd said early on.
"Especially when you get into the heavier stuff."

And we had. Total bondage. Pushing boundaries. Impact play. We'd done a lot, and I was sure there was even more we could do, just not tonight. Not when I had to be on stage at
The Limelight
twenty-four hours from now.

I collected my things and headed into the bathroom so I could clean up.
This had better be worth it.
The secrecy. The outfits. Everything.

* * * *

T
he scene outside my window changed as Jake drove from the lights of Seattle, outside the city limits and beyond. The trees grew taller here, in clusters. The housing was almost non-existent as we drove up one interstate to turn onto another.

It was still early in the evening, but as of a few miles ago, I was as far from home as I’d ever been since I moved to Seattle. And while my stomach threatened to turn in on itself, this time I knew it was nerves and not the nausea I’d suffered earlier in the day. New places always stressed me out, but new places with Jake? They were even more nerve-wracking.

Casually holding the steering wheel with one hand, Jake looked handsome as ever. Dressed in a dark suit, he’d combed his hair back. He drummed his fingers on the wheel to the beat of whatever was playing on the radio and kept his attention on the road in front of us.

Guess it’s safe to say we won’t be scening tonight.
Not unless there were clubs out along the countryside somewhere. I considered that for a moment—the possibility of being flogged in a barn—and shuddered at the imagery.
Okay, so it could still happen.
And given how early we left, that possibility became even more apparent the farther we drove.

About an hour or so away from home, Jake turned onto a dirt road and flicked on the high beams. I sat up and pressed my hands against the cool glass of my window. Light covered the horizon, and the closer we got, the brighter the night became.

Jake pulled onto a patch of grass beside a handful of cars and turned off the ignition. "Well, what do you think?"

White lights covered most of the property, woven around fence posts, banisters along a front porch, as well as along the awnings.
Stars.
That’s what the lights reminded me of. Millions of stars, and as I gazed at the surrounding fields, I could see even more of them draped along naked tree limbs and shrubs.

"What is this place?" I asked, gingerly slipping out my side of the car as Jake did the same. "It’s huge."

Jake rested a hand against the small of my back. "A place I’ve been dying to get back to for years."

"Years?" I thought I caught the hint of music coming from inside, but the doors and windows muffled it so much, it was hard to say.

Jake shrugged. "It’s a couples thing."

"But you’ve had subs before."

"I have, but they were never...serious."

I swallowed hard.
Does he know?
Did Devlin tell him about my pregnancy?
Serious?
Serious how?

I walked alongside him down a stone covered path toward the front of the building. "And we are?"

"I’d like to think so." He stopped before we reached the door. "Beyond this point, you’re only to refer to me as Master, understand?"

I nodded. "Yes, Master."

"This is a private party. You may see a few Doms you know, and many more you’ve never met. I’ll introduce you to those you’ll need to worry about later on."

"And their subs?"
Master, say Master.
I winced. "Master?"

"They’ll be here as well." He raised an eyebrow at me. "Marisa won’t be joining us this evening. There was something she needed to take care of. Devlin, on the other hand, should arrive shortly if he isn’t here already. I know you call Master Devlin by his first name, but the Doms at this party are more...traditional. Sir will do just fine."

He opened the door, and my jaw hit the floor. The inside was lit by the same lights as outside. Millions of them, along with electric candles on every windowsill. The lighting was dim to say the least, but it made a beautiful backdrop to what promised to be a very eventful evening.

A man approached us and bowed his head, taking my coat as well as Jake’s without saying a word.
A servant,
I assumed, watching after him as he left the room. The door behind us closed, sealing in the warmer air as we made our way through the foyer and into the main room.

Now I knew I was hearing music. A rhythmic beat thrummed through the walls and over the floorboards. Along with the music were a series of voices I didn’t recognize.

"Are you okay?" Jake asked, leaning over so I could hear him.

My chest tightened a bit. "Yes, Master."

"Nervous?"

Very.
"Yes, Master."

He made a sound of approval, linked his arm with mine, and led me from the main room with a fireplace to an even larger area with what appeared to be hundreds of other partygoers. My heart stopped.

"My..." I looked up at Jake. "They’re wearing masks, Master."

"Are they?" He smiled and held out the mask he’d asked me to wear before we left the house. "Do you see why I asked you to bring this along?"

I bowed my head. "Yes, Master."

"But you would’ve left it behind if I hadn’t gotten it for you. Tell me, aren’t you proud of what you’ve made?"

I studied the old mask. "Of course, Master."

"Then why not show it off and wear it proudly?"

"Because I have nothing to hide."
Not yet, you don’t. Give it a few months.

"Everyone hides. In fact, you said so yourself—about me—remember?"

"And you’ve proven me wrong."

"Then humor me and wear it for one night." He set the mask in my hand. "That is, unless you want to stick out like a sore thumb. Look around."

Ignoring my mask for the moment, I inspected the other couples in the room. Every single one of them was wearing a mask. Some leather, some fabric. Most of them mine.
They’re wearing my masks.
Those who didn’t wear one of the masks I made had some of their own, and they were just as colorful as the outfits they had on.

"My masks, Master?" I asked, still trying to wrap my mind around the entire event.

"You noticed, huh?" Jake asked.

"But when? How?"

"Dropped them off earlier."

I considered how many masks I had back in the guest house, but there were a lot more of them here than I ever could’ve made in the last week. Two weeks. Hell, even a month.