Everything I Ever Wanted (24 page)

"He says he had one at the village tavern. With the widow Simon, I might add." Southerton set the parcels on the table. "I stumbled on these outside. Darrow said something about Mrs. Simon and a delivery and I don't know what else. He's had his fill of grog with his supper and will be very happy to make his bed with the cattle tonight."

"Oh, surely not."

"It is not a punishment, India. He was set on it."

"Very well." She began unwrapping one of the packages. "Will you not sit down? I only want to examine this fabric. I have been contemplating a new wardrobe for Katherine. I have ideas in my mind's eye that I have not yet been able to put to paper." India unfolded a crimson length of cloth and held it up to her torso, letting it drape loosely between her arms. "What do you think, my lord? Does it suit?"

South took his seat and picked up his spoon. "Katherine? What Katherine do you mean? Surely not the shrew." Before she could answer him, South took his cue and spoke Petruchios lines, memorized years earlier at Hambrick Hall:

"For you are call'd plain Kate, And bonny Kate and sometimes Kate the curst; But Kate the prettiest Kate in Christendom, Kate of Kate Hall, my super-dainty Kate, For dainties are all Kates, and therefore, Kate, Take this of me, Kate of my consolation; Hearing thy mildness praised in every town, Thy virtues spoke of, and thy beauty sounded, Yet not so deeply as to thee belongs, Myself am moved to woo thee for my wife."

There was a faint whoosh in the air as India sat down hard, stunned.

"Your mouth is open," South pointed out, waggling his spoon at her. "Shall I feed you? Or perhaps I should call upon Darrow. He will be wanting to get some of his own back after the trick you played him. A trick, by the way, of his own doing. My instructions to him were far simpler. I told him to lock you in your room. If you supposed there was some compliment to your character because you stayed to tend him, it was Darrow's compliment, not mine. I would have thought, given the chance, that you'd have left him facedown in the doorway and driven the carriage back to London yourself."

India blinked at him. It was rather a lot to take in all at once.

South tasted his first spoonful of soup. He did not think it was only hunger that made it so welcome. There was something equally satisfying in seeing India's owlish expression. "As for the veritable parade of mistresses" He thought he heard her make a small choking sound, but he was skimming for a medallion of carrot and could not be bothered to look up. "They are not mine. I do not deny that I have had such, I am three and thirty after all, but I have never set one up here at Ambermede. Darrow was not speaking of me when he said whatever it was that he said that you found so"

"Irksome?" India's voice was almost without sound.

"Yes. Irksome." He swallowed another mouthful of soup. "Do we have those things settled between us?"

She nodded.

South's eyes narrowed. "I would hear it from you."

"Yes." Again it was more an expulsion of air than a word.

Now it was South who nodded. He turned his attention back to the meal India had prepared."Your soup is growing cold."

She stared at the bowl in front of her but made no move to pick up her spoon.

"You may want to put your fabric away." His suggestion might have been meant helpfully save for the decidedly wicked smile edging his mouth. "Bonny Kate." He thought she said something that sounded like "vexing" under her breath, but he couldn't be sure.

India refolded the material and moved it and the other parcels into the adjoining room. She returned to the table without sparing South a glance and began eating. He had two bowls to her one and ate a good portion of the bread besides. They did not speak again until she stood to clear the table.

"Thank you," he said. "It was very good."

"You were hungry."

He bent his head to catch her eye when she reached for his bowl. "It was very good, India," he said again. "I am not flattering you."

"Then thank you." In spite of her effort that it be otherwise, her response remained stiff. She flushed and tried a second time. "Thank you." She was rewarded by South's easy smile, the one that touched his gray eyes and turned them smoky. India quickly gathered the bowls and utensils and placed them in the washing basin.

"Leave them," South said. "Mrs. Simon can attend to it in the morning."

India nodded, her stomach clenching. Without direction from him, she followed South into the drawing room and took a seat on the window bench. He handed her a woolen shawl, and she wrapped it around her shoulders. Outwardly, she remained calm while South stoked the fire. Her fingers worked over the fringed ends of the shawl, making small knots, then plucking them free. She followed his every movement until he chose a chair opposite her and sat. It was then that she found herself looking away.

The act of averting her glance made India understand how very apprehensive she was. For nine days she had been ; largely successful in pretending this moment would not arrive, and yet it was upon her now. It required feeling likea coward to not act as one. Her dark eyes swiveled back to South, and she regarded him directly.

"It was not only Westphal's death that kept me gonefrom here," South said. "I should have returned in the time I planned had it been all that required my attention. There were also personal matters."

India nodded. It was unexpected that he would explain his long absence to her. She had the sense that he was apologizing, and she felt her stomach slowly begin to uncurl. Perhaps there would be no shattering news.

"Then there was the colonel's business," he said.

"I understand." The fist tightening her midsection was back.

"Mr. Rutherford is dead, India."

Shock held her still while the reactions she could not help spoke for her. India's face drained of all color until her complexion equaled the bleached whiteness of her knuckles. Her last breath sat heavily in her lungs, the pressure building as she could seem neither to expel it nor draw another, and her eyes darkened, the pupils dilating to the degree that the focus was removed from her gaze.

South rose from his chair and went to the sideboard. He found several decanters of liquor and chose the brandy. He splashed some in a glass and carried it to India. She did not lift a hand to accept it. "Here," he said. "Drink." When she still made no move to take it, South moved to press it to her lips. She shied back immediately, ducking under his arm and lurching to her feet. She was out the front door almost before he knew what she was about.

India made it to the cottage's far side before she dropped to her knees and vomited. She did not hear South's approach over the sound of her own retching. His hands on her shoulder and midriff, holding back her braid and the tails of her shawl, gave her a start. Her attempt to shrug him off came to nothing, and it was left to her to finish emptying the contents of her stomach while he held her.

South helped India to her feet and handed her his handkerchief. She accepted it without a word, as she did his escort back into the cottage. When he offered her the brandy a second time she took the glass in both hands, pressed it to her lips, and drank deeply. It was like swallowing fire, and India gasped in reaction. Moments later it lay gently in her stomach, warming her from the inside out. When the glow was upon her she held out the empty glass to him. "Another."

He didn't argue. He filled the glass with less than half as much as he had given her before, then bade her sit again before he handed it over. Under South's watchful eye she sipped gingerly this time. He prepared himself a drink and returned to his seat. The weariness he'd felt these last days was upon him tenfold.

India watched South stretch his lean, athletic frame in the chair until he was almost in a recline. His long legs were extended toward her. His arms rested casually against his abdomen, the glass of brandy held loosely between his fingers. The crown of his head lay darkly against the green and gold damask fabric. His heavily lashed lids hovered at half-mast, shielding his eyes but not the sense of his watchfulness.

"You told me Mr. Rutherford had abandoned this country for America," India said. "To escape his creditors."

"I believe I also related I had some doubts."

"You have none now?"

He shook his head. "None."

"How did you come by this knowledge?"

"The colonel."

"It is not known about London?"

"No. His family was informed, of course, but they are not eager to have the manner of his death spread about. They believe it was gaming debts that brought him to such a bad end."

"It is a reasonable supposition, surely?"

South roused himself enough to give her an arch look. Reasonable, he thought, if one did not have the larger view. He wondered at India's ability to deny or conceal the truth from herself."Rutherford's relations have no wish for others to know the extent of his debts or the consequences they have had on the family. They have contented themselves so well with the story that he is abroad, even one who knows better would find it difficult to disbelieve them."

"You speak of yourself now."

"Yes. One of the matters that kept me in London was spending time in the company of Rutherford's sister and his brother-in-law, reviewing what they remembered of his last days. Though they understood quite well why I was there, and that I was in full comprehension of the truth of things, they were reluctant to admit that he was dead."

"So it is now a family secret."

"Yes, I suppose it is. Those few outside the family who know the truth will not speak of it."

India's fingertips tightened on her glass. "Who mourns for Mr. Rutherford, then?"

South said nothing. He watched her eyes become luminescent with tears that never fell. She bent her head and stared at her drink. It trembled slightly in her hands.

"I would know how he died," she said at last.

"As Kendall did," he lied. If she knew the truth, then there was nothing served by repeating it. If she did not, then he could spare her some detail. "There was a better effort made to dispose of his body." He told her about the mooring line and the bricks meant to keep Rutherford from surfacing.

"He was identified by some papers found on his person. A relative, his brother-in-law, confirmed that it was he."

India took this in."You learned of this when you returned to London," she said. "Did you not?"

"Yes."

"But you had already taken me from the theatre, so it does not follow that one has something to do with the other."

"I did not say that it did."

"Then why am I here, my lord?"

"You are aware of the attempt on Prinny's life last year after the opening of Parliament."

India frowned. "Yes. You must know that I am."

"Why must I know that?"

"Because I" She stopped. "No. If you are truly the colonel's man, then you will know the answer. He would have told you."

South was not entirely surprised that she was beginning to have some doubts. She must be wondering at this moment if a trap had been set for her. He gave her full marks for not leaping with both feet. "You provided Kendall with the first particulars that helped uncover the assassination plot."

"Yes."

"The Prince Regent was one of your earlier admirers, I believe."

India's posture became rigid. "I would not describe him as an admirer. The troupe performed for the king and queen. Other members of the royal family were present, including the Prince Regent."

"But Prinny took a particular interest in you." He did not wait for her to confirm or deny his statement. He had amassed a great deal of information these past days. When not engaged in the personal matters that had taken him from London to Battenburn on North's behalf, his waking hours and sleepless nights had been spent in learning particulars about India Parr that even the colonel had not been privy to. "He invited you to dine with him privately."

"Yes." She set her empty glass aside and held the knotted tails of her shawl in a bloodless fist. "Not then," she said stonily. "He did not invite me to dine then. His invitation came later. It was discreetly offered."

"And you accepted."

"It would be more to the point that I did not know how to decline."

"There were several offers, I believe."

"I dined with the Prince Regent four times."

South nodded. "It is unusual that it did not come to light. One cannot always rely on Prinny to conduct his affairs so quietly. He enjoys the notoriety, I think. It would have been a coup for him to have entertained you openly, and done more to bring the public's attention to you. You were not yet as well known then as you are now."

"I begged him." Her lips moved around the words, but there was no sound.

South used his elbows to hoist himself higher in his chair. He leaned forward. "How is that again?"

"I begged him," she whispered. Then again, more loudly this time, pushing the words past the ache deep in her throat, "I begged him."

It was as though his chest were being squeezed. South felt India's humiliation as keenly as if it were his own. He stayed where he was, stoic in the face of her pain, unmoving because he knew she would not accept any manner of consoling from him. He was the one who had pushed her to this pass; why trust him to lead her from it?