Everything You Need: Everything For You Trilogy Book 1 (19 page)

He hunkers down in front of me, noticing everything. “I don’t want to make you cry but if you agree to my help, I’m going to control the situation between us.”

“I can’t trust you. You want to humiliate me. You hate me.”

“No, Tabby.” He sounds appalled. “I don’t hate you. How can you even think that? And humiliating you is simply not on my agenda. Can I ask you a question?”

I’m cagey. “Fine.”

“Please respect me enough to be honest with me.”

“Okay.”

“Would you ever have accepted a straightforward offer of help if I hadn’t given you a little incentive?”

“The change of contract?”

Jack nods.

“No.”

“Thank you. The point I’m trying to make is you’re overwhelmed. With Harry dying suddenly you’ve been thrown into top-level corporate leadership. Even now there are rumours that things at CaidCo are falling apart. That’s when your competition moves fastest against you.”

I’m stunned he’s heard such things. I’d hoped to keep the situation under wraps long enough to change things for the better. No wonder he bailed. “I’m handling it the best way I know how.”

“It won’t be enough to save your business in time, while you’re learning and making mistakes. I can prepare you, toughen you up quicker.” He waits for his words to sink in. “You need help now. Once you asked for it and I failed you. This time I’m offering.”

Every cell in my body screams at me to walk away and never look back.

“You need to learn to handle yourself around powerful unscrupulous people who’ve been in this game a whole lot longer than you have and don’t mind what they do to win. You’re sweet and gentle and they’ll eat you for breakfast, Tabitha, before you’re even ready to bite back. I don’t want to see that happen. Not to you.”

“Powerful guys like you, Jack?” It’s a clear accusation. I’m not willing to trust him.

Jack lifts his hand and sweeps his fingertips along the line of one of my eyebrows. “I have a lot of experience heading a major organisation. I’ll share that knowledge if you’ll let me but you need to trust me.”

That’s what worries me the most.

“Don’t be too self-possessed to admit to needing a little help.” Jack draws down a deep breath. “I’ll show you what it means to be an effective boss.”

By bossing me?

“Look on it as being mentored, if you like.” He watches for my reaction.

I get to my feet. “I need to go to the bathroom.” I can’t think straight when he’s all over me like this.

“Sure. It’s right over there.” He leads me towards it and I step inside, glancing up briefly to catch his eye before I shut the door between us and lock it.

“Take all the time you need.”

I think about what it means for me if I agree to what Jack’s suggesting. As a business mentor, he’d be second to none but he’s alpha in the workplace. He controls, dominates, rules with a rod of iron. How will I handle that after everything that’s happened between us?

How will I handle my feelings around him?

Chapter Nine

I splash my face with cold water and stare in the mirror. It isn’t surprising I appear calm on the outside. Apart from the panic attacks which erupt without warning, I’ve become pretty adept at disguising my feelings over the years.

But from the moment the thought hits, I lose it. My eyes glimmer. A tear wells and leaks from one corner so sneakily I dash it away in anger with the back of my hand. I don’t want to cry over what might have been, anymore.

He’s right. I was too young, I see that now, and a man like Jack was never meant for me. It was a teenage crush that long ago should have run its course. When Jack walked away in the heat of it, my emotions got trapped. Nothing developed; nothing resolved. Every feeling I’ve had about it, about him and me, since, has become unreliable.

My mind empties with each hot tear of regret that flows until dry racking shudders signal I’m done. Done with feeling sorry for myself. And definitely done with moping after what never came to pass. Four years of blood-letting have been for nothing. There’s no way he’s going to let CaidCo have his business back. He’s all but told me that.

Not looking good
.

I drag a couple of tissues from a box on the vanity unit. I look a train-wreck. Yet, strangely I feel a kind of peace which seems crazy given what has happened. I dry my face on a hand towel, wondering if I’d be better off going home. But why worry? It’s not like Jack is about to jump me.

I square my shoulders in the mirror. Determination got me this far. I’m strong and I’m backing away from nothing. Not Brent Tapper and not Jack Keogh. A few deep breaths clear my head until I feel so serene the knock on the door makes me jump.

“Are you okay in there?”

“I’m fine. Go away.”

“I’m here when you’re ready.” He sounds anxious but not enough to break his own door down at least.

I might as well face facts. Jack Keogh never wanted me the way I wanted him. That version of Jack was a young girl’s dream. And alright, I had begged him to relieve me of the burden of my virginity. So what? Everyone does something they’re not proud of. I push the mortifying image right out of my head.

I wash my hands, glance at my blank face, now devoid of most of my make-up and all of my emotions and unlock the door, head held high.

When Jack says he’ll be waiting outside he means it. He’s leaning his shoulder against the adjacent wall, looking ruffled and sexy, an empty whisky glass resting in one hand. He reaches his other out towards me. Not this time, Jack. Resisting the urge, I sweep past him, back to the fireplace.

“Feeling better?” He steps up close behind me.

Setting my features I turn. “Would you prefer I leave?”

I know I’ve surprised him by his expression. “Leave? You want to go home?” He has the nerve to look disappointed. Then annoyed. “You just got here.”

“You said the deal was worthless so what’s the point?” I can’t help the illicit surge of power I get when I take the lead. It quickly fades when he comes even closer and frowns down at me. It’s hard feigning confidence, being stared at with those mesmerising blues.

“This won’t do at all.” He turns harder. Meaner. As if he’s changing before my eyes.

I feel my resolve falter. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, a deal’s a deal. If you go breaking your word, you’ll develop a reputation for it. Once trust is lost, it’s rarely recoverable.” He reaches out a hand and gently runs the backs of his fingers along my jaw line as a warm lick of delight chases its way through my skin.

“Who are you going to tell?” I challenge, sweeping his hand away with mine.

His eyes narrow on me. “You don’t like the deal you made? Well too bad. Now you’ve learnt the hard way to make certain before signing up to anything. It’s a valuable lesson in business. Expect more of the same.”

His remark chills me enough to step closer to the fire. Jack catches me, turns me and holds me in his arms, pressing my back flush against his chest. I’m conscious of either my heart thumping against his or his against mine. I’m conscious of being stark naked beneath a thin cotton shirt. He leans in, his voice barely a whisper in my ear. “I’m not a cruel man.”

“Cruel?” I echo his word in a muted whisper. Right now, I wouldn’t place a bet on that. What he’s doing to my insides is completely heartless yet thrills me to the marrow. When I shiver, he holds tighter.

“I like your face without all the cosmetics. You look vulnerable. Are you vulnerable, Tabitha?”

A low flutter disturbs the knot in my stomach. Does he notice every little thing? “No.” I can take care of myself.

He whirls me back again so fast we might be jiving, pulling me close enough for his lips to brush my forehead and his breath to disturb the little wisps of hair at my temple.

“I’ll make certain you’re not. I’m prepared to give you a chance to agree a better deal. After all, you’re inexperienced in negotiating and I want to be fair. I wouldn’t give a second chance to just anyone. This is a special, one-time-only favour to you because you interest me.”

He pushes me towards the sofa. “Sit. I’m going to offer you a deal worth having.”

I comply, intrigued. Perhaps I’m finally going to get what I truly should have come for in the first place: a proper chance for CaidCo. How easy it is for him to change my mind when he does this. I have no shield against his weapons.

“At heart you’re gentle and compliant, Tabby.”

He manages to make me feel ashamed about it. “If you say so.”

“I do. You are. But I can use this to build on, to toughen you up, if you let me mentor you.

“And why would you want to do that?”

A flash of annoyance sweeps his features. “You really don’t trust me, do you?”

“You haven’t given me any reason to.”

“Trust is imperative.” His voice is censorious. His frown intense.

I’ve had four years of knowing he failed me. He let me go. I feel as vulnerable as he says I am but does that make me weak? Would doing things his way make me stronger? What if he does toughen me up? What if he helps me to understand the people I’m crossing swords with in business? People like him.

I recall this is meant to be a deal. “What exactly do you get out of it?” I ask. Jack reminded me in the boardroom that nothing is for nothing. Am I still selling myself here?

He pauses long enough to make me suspicious of his reply. “Let’s just say I owe Harry.”

I don’t know whether to be disappointed or relieved but I can believe that much anyway. He does owe Harry. He also knows how to think six moves ahead and I wonder if I’m being played.

“Wouldn’t there be a conflict of interest?”

“Because I mean to have you?”

What? “No!” He didn’t even want me when he could have. I’m thrown for a second. “... Because it’s your business I’m after.”

He catches up. “You think your competition will claim I’m giving you an unfair advantage? An insider deal?”

“Something like that.” My head spins. He means to have me?

“I admire the fact you want to achieve this on your own merits and believe me you will. Or fail to, if CaidCo doesn’t come up to scratch. What do you think?”

“I’m not sure.” Me, working close to Jack isn’t ideal by any stretch of the imagination. Look how things ended last time. I’m still dealing with the emotional fall-out.

“There’s a time limit on my offer. Put your money where your mouth is, like every CEO does, every day.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You have nothing to lose and much to gain if you have the mettle to give it a try. Have you got the guts I think you have, Tabitha?”

“Tell me exactly what you’re offering.”

He visibly relaxes. “Smart girl. You’re learning already. Find out the facts before you sign up to anything. I’m offering to delay signing any contract with Advance Advertising for four weeks. At the end of that period, both CaidCo and Advance will be invited to pitch their proposals for Zee-Com’s advertising budget for the next five years.”

“A proper chance?” This isn’t personal then. It’s about my company and all the people that rely on me for jobs who need me to succeed.

“The same chance I will give to Advance. No special favours. Two bids, two proposals. The winning agency gets the contract strictly on merit.”

“That’s all I’ve ever asked for.” I know I can handle it. I stand before self-doubt creeps up on me again. “Thank you.” I’m delighted at this about-face. Four weeks gives me time to prepare.

“Don’t thank me yet, Tabitha. It’s a big deal. I will only take the best.”

“It’s a big deal for me too. What do I have to do in return?”

“Give me four weeks of your time, Tabitha, to mentor you into becoming a more effective CEO, take the reins of your company from those who would steal them from you and show your potential clients you’re a force to be reckoned with.”

“You mean grow a pair. In a month.” I swallow hard.

Jack’s eyebrows sky-rocket. “Being tough doesn’t mean being uncouth,” he admonishes. “That will only earn you ridicule.” His lips soften. “But that’s the bones of it.” He continues, undaunted. “We both have companies to run, so in real terms it’s more like four weekends.” He pauses as I stare at him. “So for the next four weekends, you’ll agree to live here with me at Belvedere and adopt my methods of bringing about change.”

My stomach sinks. In one evening he’s torn me apart. What might he do to me in four whole weekends? For a second the thought occurs he’s just doing anything he can to prevent me being alone with a bottle.

Jack studies me. He appears to grow before my eyes. Bigger. Sterner. Darker.

“You sound like you want to re-programme me.”

“I like you just the way you are. But Advance already bring more to the table than you can in terms of experience. I need to know the people that work for me have exactly what I require. I’m simply attempting to level the playing field a little. Trust me on that one, at least.”

Do I? What alternative do I have?