EVREN: Enter the Dragonette (15 page)

He cut me off.  “My mother was a bitch.”

His body was again rigid with tension.  I reached out to soothe the tension away, kneading the muscles in his neck.

“She raised me with tender loving care at first.”  But his biting tone contradicted his words.  “It wasn’t real but it was very convincing, enough to put me into shock when I realized that she had left me for good.”

“
Left
?”

“Abandoned in a Paris alley,” he spelled out.  “I starved right next to crooks and drug junkies.  If I was lucky, I’d find a crazy man to stay next to and snatch a few hours of sleep.  It’s always better to be taken for a lunatic.  You get bothered less because you’re not the ideal victim.”

“Helpless, you mean?”

Lucian seemed reluctant to speak.  “No.  Insane people generally aren’t aware of what’s happening to them and around them, and some men…women…creatures, some like their victims to be completely sane because they draw more pleasure from seeing them confused, wondering why they are being tormented—”

“I get it now,” I said shakily, having heard enough.  I blinked back tears, knowing how allergic he was to them.  But my heart ached at how much he had suffered.  What had happened to Lucian wasn’t unheard of, but it was my first time meeting someone who actually went through such agony.

“Tell me the rest only when you’re comfortable about it or when you need someone to talk to.”  I hugged him tightly, wishing I could erase the ugliness of his past with hugs and kisses.  It was a silly thought, but the world would’ve been so much better if life worked out that way.

“At least I understand now.”

He raised a brow.  “Understand what?”

“Why you think your mother was a bitch.”

It coaxed a startled laugh from him.  “I expected you to tell me that maybe she had some good reason for it.”

“How did you survive?”  My voice was muffled against his warm chest.

“I did what I had to do.”

“And Dyvian?”

His voice became colder.  “My mother came back when he was seven years old.  I suppose Dyvian and I should be thankful she took enough effort to find me.”

I sprang upright, a confusing thought occurring to me.  “Wait…you’re just a year older than Dyvian, right?  But you only knew about him when you were eight?  Are you saying she had Dyvian and you didn’t know about it?”

“There were…times…when she was gone for a long period…”

I scowled.  “So, basically, she gave birth to Dyvian and gave him away, too.  Then she had this tiniest moment of guilt and decided that it was better if the two of you were together so she gave Dyvian to you before disappearing for good.  Is that how it happened?”

“Something…like that…”  Lucian looked like he was regretting telling me the truth, probably because he couldn’t bear to remember his mother’s cruelty.

I couldn’t blame him.  He was completely right.  She was a bitch and another name had just been officially added to the list of people I wanted to kill.  Or at least there would have been if I knew her name.  How could their mother bear to leave these two beautiful beings? 

I went back to Lucian’s arms and hugged him tightly.  “Was she Evren, too?”

“Unfortunately, yes.”

“How about your father?”

“We know nothing about him.”

I sat up.  “Have you tried looking for him?”

He pulled me back down just as quickly.  “Stop worrying too much about me and my family,” he scolded, but there was a smile in his voice.  “And, yes, we tried our best but found nothing.  We believe he’s dead.”

It was getting harder and harder to stop myself from crying.  Life could be so unfair.  He had an unknown Mr. X for a father and a bitch for a mother.  “I wish I had known you before,” I whispered fervently.  “I’d have adopted you and Dyvian right away.”

“Then we’d be siblings.”

“Oh.”  I scowled at my stupidity.  “I didn’t think of that.”

He chuckled.  “It’s okay.  I have you now.”

I blossomed with those words.  It was impossible not to hug him again.  Very, very tightly.

“Are you trying to crush my ribs?” he teased.

I ignored that and said instead, “Thank you for sharing a little about yourself, Lucian.”  I knew without being told that what he had revealed to me was to be cherished, a confidence he didn’t just share with anyone.

I also knew I had his mother to blame for Lucian’s coldness.  He was probably so hurt by his mother’s insane cruelty that he refused to trust anyone—

“Tell me something you haven’t told anyone,” Lucian urged in sudden haste, distracting me from my thoughts.

“Anyone?”  I fussed with the bedcovers, not meeting his eyes.

His face was grave.  “I know it’s a challenge, considering how you tell everyone everything.”

I gasped.  “I do not.”

“Then tell me.”

I grimaced at how neatly I had fallen for that trap.  “Umm…”  A hazy thought formed in my mind.  I gulped.  Certainly not that.

“You’ve thought of something.”

I was doing my best not to, actually.  “No.”

“Deli.”

“Yes?”

“Stop beating around the bush.”

“I’m not.”

I found myself rolled over to my back and Lucian glaring at me.

“Tell me.”

“Well—”

“A word of advice, Deli,” Lucian said gently, his tone making me shiver a little.  Lucian was always scarier when he was nicer.  “Don’t try fooling me.”

“But you wouldn’t want to know.”  I nodded jerkily.  “I just know.”

“Trust me to be the judge of that, mmm?”

A glum sigh escaped me.  “You promise you won’t be mad?”

“I won’t even raise my voice.”

“Ha.  You don’t have to.  The angrier you are, the softer—”

“Stop prevaricating.”

Drat.  He was too smart for his own good.

“What is it then?” he asked a few moments later.

I disclosed it in a single, mortified, and breathless rush.  “During prom night, I almost slept with my boyfriend—make that ex—in the backseat.”

When Lucian didn’t say anything, I peeked at his expression.  He looked…blank.  And then he sighed.

I winced.  “I know.  It’s so clichéd, right?  You’d think I’d know better.”  I was about to defend myself and tell him that at least we were riding in a limousine and not just any cheap car.  But I fell silent instead as his head lowered to my shoulder.

I didn’t know what to think of it except…
this feels good.

His chest rumbled in laughter.

“Err, what’s so funny?”

“Nothing.  Everything.”  He didn’t sound amused now.  He pushed himself up on one elbow.  His other hand tucked loose strands of my hair behind my ear.

“You think I was stupid, don’t you?”

“No.  But you were right.”  A rueful grin tugged at his lips.  It made him so gorgeous I itched to have a camera in my hands to capture the image forever.

“I was?”  He might as well have been speaking Chinese.  I was too entranced at the tenderness in his eyes.

“I didn’t want to know that.”

~~~

“Lucian?”

“Mmm?”

It was three o’clock in the morning.  Dyvian had called half an hour ago, informing Lucian he was staying over at a friend’s house up in DV.  I had begged Lucian to sleep with me, and he gave in when I finally threatened to tell him more about my ex.

I pushed myself to my elbows so I could see his face.  His brows were just the tiniest bit furrowed.  He was thinking about something again.  And with Lucian, that something could be anything from the real estate market conditions in Idaho to my love-and-hate-relationship with Chemistry.  I loved physical chemistry, but the scientific sort hated me.

He coughed a little.  It sounded a little too much like he was trying to hide his laughter but I doubt it.  There was nothing to laugh about.  “Are you okay?”

“Just thinking.”

“Stop thinking,” I urged, unable to help sounding petulant.  I wanted us to savor our first night together, even though it was sickeningly innocent.  I didn’t want him to try predicting stock market trends while he was with me.  Right now, his topmost priority was supposed to be thinking about how pretty I was, how nice it was to have me next to him, and how soon he should have been kissing me.

“Lucian.”  I shook his arm until his eyes finally met mine.  I was surprised to see him smiling slightly.  “What are you smiling about?” I demanded, frowning.

He ruffled my hair.  “Nothing.”

“No, tell me.”

He looked at me for one unreadable moment.  “Tell you what.  Let me know what you think I’m thinking, and I’ll tell you if you’re right.”

“You’ll let me guess until I get it right?”

“I’ll give you three guesses.”

“Deal.”  I sat up, locking my knees under my chin, scrutinizing his every expression.  Staring at him, it was easy to get distracted.  Lucian really was beautiful.  The way his hair fell against his forehead, the shine in his eyes—

“Deli.”  Lucian sighed.

I colored, realizing I had been caught daydreaming.  “Sorry.”

“Well?  Give me a guess.”

“You’re thinking about…me?”  I was joking so I was stunned when he nodded, an approving smile curving on his face.

My eyes widened.  “You are?”

“Yes.”

I gulped.  He sounded too serious.  “Is it bad?” I ventured in a small voice.  My imagination overflowed with pessimistic thoughts.  “You think what happened is a huge mistake, don’t you?  You probably think—”

He pressed his fingers to my mouth.  “Sshh.”  His lips twitched.  “Stop being so melodramatic.”  His voice lowered.  “I love it that I finally got to kiss you.  I’d never trade it for anything.”  He pulled away and leaned back against the headboard.  “But that wasn’t what I was thinking.”

The sweet words and the tender smile on his face gave me hope.

“Another guess?”

I became excited.  “I know.”  Now, why hadn’t I thought of this before?

His eyes widened in alarm.

I smirked.  He probably knew I had guessed the truth.  “You’re in love—”  I couldn’t continue with his mouth suddenly covering mine.

Never the type to refuse something I wanted, I reached out to him but he was already pulling away after the briefest touch of our lips.  “Don’t think things like that, Deli.”

I couldn’t help feeling hurt.  He looked like falling in love with me gave him gastritis.  Surely, it wasn’t that bad?

I pulled away, too, but just so I could see him more clearly.  “What are you saying?”

“Let’s just enjoy this, okay?”

That would have sounded incredibly crass if anyone but Lucian had been saying it.  I tried to understand where he was coming from but my mental GPS couldn’t nail his exact location.  Was it commitment phobia?  Was it an aversion to something about me?

He sighed but I also detected a glimmer of laughter in his eyes.  “Stop thinking crazy thoughts.”

“How do you know what I’m thinking?”

He touched my nose.  “Because I know you very well.”

“But I want to—”  He kissed me again, effectively killing my brain cells.

He pulled away just when I was about to close my eyes.  “I want to keep this between us for now.  You know how I am with other people.  I don’t want anything to ruin what we have.”

I bit my lip.  “I understand, but what about Dyvian or other Evr—”  Another kiss halted my words.

I scowled when I realized what he was doing.  “You’re distracting me with kisses, aren’t you?”

“Am I?”  The mischief in his eyes, a rare sight for Lucian, belied the innocence in his voice.

“Duh.  You know you are.”  I took a deep breath.  “But we have to talk about this, Lucian.  What changed between—”  He kissed me again.

When he pulled away, I said breathlessly, “I’m serious, Lucian.  I want to know how you feel about—”  Another kiss.

He lifted his head a few moments later, chuckling when I refused to let him go.  But he was too strong for me.  “Let’s just take it day by day,” he advised and tipped my chin up.  “Okay?”

I nodded.  “But—”

Another kiss that made my toes curl and he was moving away again.  “We keep things private between us.”

“Promise.”  I was willing to agree to anything just so he’d kiss me again.  I waited, but he seemed content to gaze at me.  That was sweet, honestly, but right now, I was in the mood for something more exciting.

When he still didn’t make any move to kiss me, I decided to use his own strategy against him.  I clasped my hands, feigning anxiety.  “I think we have to talk—”

He smiled knowingly as his face inched closer but I didn’t mind.

~~~

“Good morning.”  I entered the kitchen with a huge smile on my face, but it faded soon enough when only Dyvian smiled back from the table.  “Where’s Lucian?”