Expecting Miracle Twins (10 page)

Again, Mattie took ages to open the door but, when she did, Jake felt as if he’d been slugged in the solar plexus.

Her eyes were red and watery and her nose was red too, as if she’d blown it many times. She was clutching a handful of damp tissues and, as soon as she saw him, she gave a hiccupping sob and her eyes filled with fresh tears.

‘Mattie, I…’

She shook her head and pressed the wad of tissues against her mouth.

A strangling sensation seized Jake by the throat. He couldn’t bear to think he’d done this to her. If anyone else had hurt Mattie Carey he would have cracked them on the jaw.

‘I had to make sure you were OK,’ he said. ‘But I see you’re not.’

Instead of inviting him in, she rolled her eyes and the action sent shiny tears spilling down her flushed cheeks. Hastily, she dashed them away with the heel of her hand. ‘I’ve already told you I’m fine, Jake. You don’t have to worry about me.’

She obviously didn’t want to talk about her crying, so he tried another tack. ‘Who’s looking after you?’

‘I don’t need looking after.’ Mattie blew her nose noisily
and wiped the last of her tears onto her sleeve. ‘I’m not ill. Just pregnant.’

‘But you’re doing all this by yourself?’

‘Pregnancy isn’t exactly something you can share.’

She was being deliberately stubborn, which meant she was almost certainly angry. Battling his own impatience, Jake tried again. ‘What about the next couple of months as the pregnancy advances?’

‘When I’m as huge as two houses?’

‘You’re still going to have to shop and to cook, and to go to medical appointments.’

‘Yes, but don’t worry. I’ll carry one of those warning signs: Oversize Load.’

He groaned in exasperation. ‘Mattie, be serious. Don’t tell me you’re going to try to do this all on your own.’

‘Why not? It’s the truth.’ She was beginning to sound bored by his interrogation.

Jake drew a deep breath and prayed for patience. ‘You’re expecting twins. Another
couple’s
twins. Surely they owe you something? In my book they owe you big time, but it looks like they’ve abandoned you.’

‘You don’t know anything about them.’ Mattie was calmer now. Calmer and colder. She stood, blocking the doorway, with her arms folded over her ‘baby bump’. ‘No one has abandoned me, Jake.’

As she said this her face fell, but she quickly recovered. ‘It was my idea to come to Sydney. If I’d stayed in Willowbank, the whole town would have been trying to guess what was going on.’

She paused to blow her nose again and gave him a very deliberate, if watery, smile. ‘I’m quite capable of managing alone and this is the way I want it. I couldn’t handle the
constant fussing if I’d stayed near Gina and Tom. They’d always be hovering over me, making sure I was OK.’

And so they should,
Jake thought.
Anything might happen.

He grimaced, fighting flashes of fear. ‘But twins, Mattie. Surely you’ll get too tired to look after this place and…and everything else?’

‘All taken care of. Gina and Tom have sent me a lovely cleaner. She’s brilliant. And they’ve even talked about a home delivery grocery service.’

This was good news at least. ‘So they are looking after you?’

‘They’ve showered me with all kinds of pampering.’ She held out her hands, displaying her glamorous nails. ‘They’ve sent me vouchers for manicures, facials, massages, pedicures. They’re spoiling me rotten.’

‘Right.’

Mattie folded her arms again and stood with her head resolutely high and her shoulders back, as if she’d donned armour and could now face any foe. ‘Thanks for checking, Jake. It was sweet of you to worry.’

He gulped. ‘No problem.’

She reached for the door, as if their conversation had come to a close and she wanted him to leave.

He felt suddenly deprived of oxygen.

‘Wait,’ he said sharply. He wanted to tell her that she mustn’t cry and that he…that he…

What?

Panic gripped him. What was his role here?

Mattie didn’t need his practical support. He was anxious to avoid emotional attachment. Seduction wasn’t on the agenda. All the ground rules had changed for him. He didn’t have a role.

Mattie was watching him expectantly, one hand on the door, ready to pull it shut.

He gulped, didn’t know what to do next. It was unbelievable. Jake Devlin, on a woman’s doorstep, lost for words. In desperation, he said, ‘You’ve left out the cat.’

‘I beg your pardon?’ She frowned. ‘What are you talking about? I don’t have a cat. Only Brutus.’

‘No. In the drawing of Molly, the little witch. You usually have a black cat on every page.’

Mattie turned slowly and a small frown made vertical tracks in her forehead as she looked across the lounge room to the table with her art gear. Jake held his breath as he studied her profile.

He could see the dusty fringe of her lashes, the tiny bump on her nose, the warm curves of her lips, soft as petals. The hairdresser’s highlights had faded from her hair, leaving it a gentle light brown. Not mousy at all, but exactly the right colour for her.

He was remembering how her lips had tasted, how eagerly they’d parted for him. To his surprise, her ripening body hadn’t diminished his desire. He longed to hold her, to touch her.

‘You’re absolutely right,’ she said. ‘I’ve forgotten to put the little cat in the last drawing. I suppose I can blame maternity amnesia.’

She turned to him again, her expression puzzled and wary.

Jake struggled to remember what they’d been talking about. Not her lips. Oh, yeah, the cat. ‘He could…uh…he could be hiding under the table.’

Mattie smiled. ‘Yes, I could show him half-hidden by a corner of the tablecloth and waiting for Molly to pass him a piece of mackerel.’

Jake nodded. ‘Something like that.’

Her eyes glowed with sudden warmth, the heart-stopping warmth he remembered, and he wondered how she would react if he tried to kiss her now.

Should
he kiss her now?

‘That’s a really good idea, Jake. Thank you for reminding me about that cat. My little readers would have been mortified if I’d left him out.’

‘You’re welcome.’

She dropped her gaze to her rounded stomach, gave a sigh, then lifted her gaze again. ‘Is that all, Jake?’

No!

The urge to kiss her was all consuming. But, in the past, Jake’s kisses had almost always led to seduction and now he yearned for something else. Something more, something deeper, better.

He needed Mattie in ways he’d never needed anyone before. Whenever he was with her he felt happy and strangely content. When he was away from her he was dismal and worried for no reason. But he had no idea how to tell her that. More importantly, he didn’t want to admit it to himself.

The very thought that his happiness depended on a pregnant woman was beyond terrifying.

Mattie began to pull the door shut and, through the narrowing space, she looked out at him, her blue eyes huge and wistful. ‘Give my love to Roy.’

‘Sure,’ Jake said, but he knew that he couldn’t just walk away. Mattie needed him. He had no idea how to care for her but, God help him, he had to try.

Years ago, his mother had exiled him to the veranda. Now Mattie was pregnant and he couldn’t contemplate a similar self-imposed exile.

He took an anxious step forward, but Mattie said calmly, ‘All the best, Jake. I hope you enjoy your leave.’

And she closed the door.

A
T LEAST
, Mattie tried to close the door, but Jake was too fast for her.

With the speed of a tackling footballer, he blocked the narrowing gap.

She gave a startled cry. ‘What are you trying to do? Lose an arm?’

He shrugged this question aside and shouldered the door wider open. ‘I can’t leave you like this. You’re being far too stubborn.’

‘
I’m
being stubborn?’

‘You are if you think you can do this without help, Mattie.’ His tone edged towards anger.

Mattie was angry too. ‘You can’t just barge in here and start bossing me around.’

Ignoring this, he strode past her into the flat.

Breathless with surprise, she followed him. ‘I don’t want you here, Jake.’

He came to a stop in the middle of the room and looked suddenly lost, like a small boy in trouble.

Mattie’s soft heart began to melt.

‘Look,’ he said, running a hand over his face. ‘I must
admit I’m thinking on my feet at the moment. I don’t have a plan, but I can’t…I can’t…’

His beautiful face was pale and taut but, as he looked at Mattie, his mouth tilted into an uneven smile that did terrible things to the rhythm of her heart. ‘I can’t just walk out of here as if I don’t give two hoots what happens to you, Mattie.’

For a moment she was too confused to speak. What exactly was he saying?

Her only truly coherent thought was that it would be rather nice if Jake wanted to take her in his arms and kiss her. But he wasn’t offering kisses and she certainly wasn’t going to ask him for one. She had tried that once before and the very thought of where that kiss had led to made her distinctly dizzy and light-headed.

‘I need to sit down,’ she said, sinking inelegantly onto a sofa.

‘Of course.’ Jake waited till she was comfortable, with a cushion at her back, before he sat on the sofa opposite.

Leaning forward, elbows on his knees, he clasped his hands and looked at her intently. ‘I know next to nothing about women expecting twins.’

He looked so worried, she couldn’t help smiling. ‘Does any bachelor know about twin pregnancy unless he’s studying obstetrics?’

Momentarily his face cleared and she caught a fleeting smile, but he quickly sobered. ‘Listen, Mattie, I don’t plan to make a nuisance of myself. I won’t hang around here at the flat. I’ll find somewhere else to stay and I’ll give you plenty of space, but I’m going to be here in Sydney.’

‘While you’re on leave?’

‘Until the twins are born.’

Mattie’s jaw sagged.

‘Why?’ she finally managed to ask.

‘I…I want to spend more time with Roy. And I can keep an eye on you at the same time.’

This didn’t make sense. ‘I don’t need a watchdog, Jake. I have a perfectly good doctor.’

Jake was on his feet again, pacing the room like a caged lion. ‘Look, I know you want me to keep my distance, so I don’t want to crowd you.’ He almost glared at her. ‘But someone’s got to keep an eye on you.’

Too surprised to speak, she sat looking up at him like a small bird hypnotised by a deadly handsome snake.

‘I’ll stay at the Dockside Apartments at Woolloomooloo,’ he told her.

‘But what about your job?’ she remembered to ask.

‘I’ll get special leave. I’ll resign if I have to.’

‘But that’s mad.’

He shook his head. ‘I’ll give you my mobile number and I want you to call me any time.’

‘Call you?’

Frowning, he nodded. ‘Any heavy lifting, call me. You want the dog walked, I’m your man. If you give me a list, I’ll do your shopping for you. Anything breaks down—from the toaster to the air conditioner—let me sort it out. I’m probably better at dealing with tradesmen than you are.’

Mattie opened her mouth but no sound emerged. Why was he doing this? What did it mean? If Jake had been a proper boyfriend, she might have been charmed by his desire to help. But he was a man she’d slept with once, a man who couldn’t commit. In fact, he was the man she was trying to forget!

At last she found her tongue. ‘This is very kind, Jake, but I don’t need to be wrapped in cotton wool.’

The muscles in his throat rippled. ‘Just keep well, Mattie. Get plenty of rest and look after yourself. Let me know if there are any concerns.’

‘But…I don’t understand. Why are you doing this?’

His eyes flashed darkly. ‘I don’t like to see a pregnant woman trying to manage on her own.’ A spasm jerked in his jaw and he clenched his teeth hard. Clenched his hands too.

Was there something deep-seated behind this unexpected urge to protect her? A secret in Jake’s past? A pregnant woman in trouble? Mattie longed to ask, but Jake seemed so different now, so stern and masterful, and she was just a little afraid of him.

He exhaled slowly. ‘So,’ he said, ‘I’d better give you my contact details.’

‘Oh, yes…right.’ Mattie had to wriggle her bottom towards the edge of the sofa before she could stand.

Jake was suddenly beside her, offering a strong hand at her elbow, supporting her as she stood. His touch sent a wave of heat flashing through her.

‘Thank you.’ Her voice was breathless and faint. ‘I’ll just get my little black book from the kitchen.’

‘Hey, stranger.’ Will’s voice sounded jovial on the other end of the line. ‘I didn’t expect to hear from you. How’s your leave?’

Flopped on a sofa in his Woolloomooloo apartment, Jake stared at the ceiling as he answered. ‘It hasn’t gone quite to plan.’

‘Don’t tell me the world’s run out of beautiful, available women?’

‘Something like that.’ Truth be told, Jake hadn’t even tried to pick up another woman—an unheard-of phenome
non. ‘I’m staying on here,’ he said. ‘That’s why I’ve rung. I’ve told the boss I’m not coming back and I need you to pack up my things, if you don’t mind.’

‘You’re joking. What’s happened? Are you OK?’

‘Yeah, sure. I just need to stay here. At least for the next couple of months. Maybe then, if there’s a position available…’ He let the words trail off.

Seconds of silence ticked by. Will said, ‘Does this have anything to do with Mattie Carey?’

‘Mattie? What makes you ask that?’

‘I had a weird e-mail from her.’

Zap!
Jake cleared his throat. ‘What did she say?’

‘It seems she’s worried about you.’

‘That’s a joke, right?’

‘Not at all. She sounded seriously concerned. She didn’t tell me you’d resigned, though.’

‘I’m fine,’ Jake said but, even to his ears, he didn’t sound convincing.

‘So, what’s going on between you and Mattie?’

‘Very little.’

‘Pull the other one.’

Jake let out a heavy sigh. He’d had enough trouble yesterday, steering Roy away from discussions about Mattie.

‘I must say I was surprised.’ Will sounded as if he was settling in for a lengthy chat. ‘I wouldn’t have thought Mattie Carey was your type.’

Jake resisted the urge to rise to his friend’s bait. His resistance lasted maybe all of five seconds. Then he had to ask. ‘So, why isn’t Mattie my type?’

Will laughed. ‘You know very well how you like your women.’

‘You tell me.’

‘Ready, willing and able.’

Normally, a comment like this wouldn’t have fazed Jake. Today it sent a blast of embarrassing heat scorching the back of his neck.
Damn.
He’d stumbled straight into this trap.

From down the phone line, he could hear the dawning suspicion in his mate’s voice. ‘Jake, you didn’t.’

Jake tried to ignore him.

Will persisted. ‘Tell me it’s not true. That week when you shared the flat with Mattie, you didn’t—’

‘Give it a miss, Will.’

‘But—’ Will whistled softly. ‘Not you and Mattie?’

‘It’s none of your business.’ Jake clenched a threatening fist and unclenched it again. Took a calming breath. ‘Anyway, it’s rather late for you to be talking to me about Mattie Carey.’ He spoke in his driest tone. ‘You’re supposed to be my best mate and you knew she was planning to get herself pregnant with someone else’s kids, but you kindly overlooked sharing that minor detail with me.’

‘It was a delicate matter, Jake. A private arrangement between Mattie and my sister and her husband. As far as you were concerned, I was working on a need to know basis. How did I know that you needed to know?’

‘I asked you enough questions.’

‘Yeah, but I thought that was nothing more than idle curiosity. I never occurred to me—I didn’t dream you and Mattie were an item.’

‘We’re not.’

‘Then why’s she so bothered about you?’

‘Because…because she’s Mattie. She’s bothered about every living thing on this planet.’

‘That’s very true.’

‘Saint Matilda,’ Jake growled.

‘Or not so saintly, it would seem?’

‘Shut up.’

‘OK, OK.’

‘I’d really appreciate it if you could pack up my things.’

‘Sure. No problem.’

Tom thumped Mattie’s kitchen table with his fist. ‘Jack wins hands down as the boy’s name.’

Gina shook her head. ‘Jack’s too traditional. Don’t we want something trendier, like Jasper or Jake?’ She turned to Mattie, who’d almost spilled her cup of peppermint tea at the mention of Jake. ‘Don’t you agree?’

Mattie shook her head. ‘I d-don’t think you should include me in a discussion of names.’

To her surprise, Gina and Tom responded in unison. ‘Why not?’

She forced a smile. ‘They’re your babies. The two of you will have enough trouble reaching agreement. If I stick my oar in, you’ll never be able to decide.’

Gina was clearly disappointed. ‘I can’t imagine not including you, Mattie. Gosh, you and I have been talking about babies’ names since we were in primary school.’

Mattie patted her protruding tummy. ‘But we’re dealing with real babies now. Yours and Tom’s. And they’ll be stuck with the names you choose for the rest of their lives.’

‘Of course, I know that.’

Trying to lighten the atmosphere, Mattie said, ‘I’ve been calling them Dot and Dash.’ But Gina, who’d obviously lost her sense of humour, continued to look unhappy.

Relenting, Mattie squeezed her friend’s hand. ‘All right, if you must know, I hope you don’t call your little boy Jake.’

‘Why? Don’t you like Jake?’

Mattie smothered an urge to sigh. Of course she liked the name Jake. She was very fond of Jake. Too fond and way too sentimental. Just hearing the name brought her to the brink of tears.

Jake Devlin was confusing her to distraction. He’d been kind, yes, but she still didn’t really understand what was behind his urge to protect her. There were times when she thought that he truly cared about her, but he remained so careful and distant she couldn’t be sure.

Deep down, where the scars left by Pete had never properly healed, Mattie had to admit she was scared. And she was probably confusing Jake as much as he confused her. She’d held him at bay so many times he assumed that was what she wanted. Who could blame him?

If neither of them was ready to open up, she might never get to the bottom of what was going on between them. But if Gina and Tom called their little boy Jake, she’d be hearing his name for the rest of her life, an eternal reminder of this painful, puzzling interlude.

Gina, meanwhile, was waiting for her answer.

‘Look…this is why I shouldn’t be involved,’ Mattie said. ‘Don’t take any notice of me. Jake’s a fine name.’

Gina watched her thoughtfully for several seconds and then her expression cleared.

‘Oh,’
she said with dramatic emphasis. ‘I should have remembered. That hot guy who stayed with you here last summer—Will’s friend—his name was Jake, wasn’t it?’

Mattie winced.

‘He broke your heart,’ Gina announced dramatically.

‘My heart’s perfectly sound.’

‘But you really fancied him.’

Mattie answered with a shrug.

Gina sighed. ‘You poor thing. I’m sure Will told me once that Jake went through women like water.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘Some men have a lot to answer for.’

This discussion was rather more than Mattie could bear. She didn’t want to tell Gina and Tom that Jake was back in Sydney, planning to hover in the distance and watch over her like some kind of anxious guardian angel.

They would want details. Answers. She didn’t have answers.

With a deliberately casual shrug, she defended Jake. ‘Look, it wasn’t all one-sided. It was as much my fault as his.’

‘Which means we should drop the subject,’ said Tom firmly as he gave his wife a warning glance.

‘Hmm,’ said Gina.

‘We don’t want to say anything to upset Mattie,’ Tom insisted. ‘We shouldn’t be raising her stress levels over naming the babies. That’s why she’s come to Sydney—to be spared all that.’

Tom looked so concerned and fatherly that Mattie thought, for a moment, he was going to lean over and place a hand on her forehead to test her temperature.

But, to her relief, he refrained. And Gina took the hint and gave up the discussion of baby names.

Mattie sat at the card table by the window, typing on her laptop. She was supposed to be working on the final version of Molly’s story, but she found it hard to concentrate. Jake had called to ask if she was free because he wanted to visit her and, ever since his call, she’d been in a tailspin.

Carol, her neighbour, breezed past on her way back from the letter box and she doubled back to stop at Mattie’s window.

She let out a low wolf whistle. ‘You’re looking swish today. Expecting a special visitor?’

‘Not really.’ Mattie tried to sound airy about the fact that she was wearing her prettiest maternity top and two layers of mascara, but she promptly spoiled it by blushing.

Carol smiled knowingly, then glanced out to the street where a car was pulling up. ‘This not-really-special visitor wouldn’t be male and about six feet three, would he?’

Mattie blushed again. ‘Possibly.’

Grinning broadly now, Carol began to fan herself with her mail. ‘Call the hospital Emergency,’ she panted theatrically. ‘I’m having palpitations.’

Mattie laughed, but then she heard footsteps on the front path and, sure enough, it was Jake who was heading her way and her heart began to quicken too.