Exposed (8 page)

More like a puppetmaster. And Jake could be his shiny new marionette.

So Loki thinks there's some
new threat on the scene, someone out to get me. Well, if it's Tuesday, someone's after Gaia. Yawn. And sure, maybe this time it took me a while, but I'm finally on to it. Thank God. So I don't need Loki's help. Like the saying goes,
With friends like him …

Good thing I don't really have any friends, huh?

Loki's right-there is someone after me. But I don't want him and Jake doing my dirty work for me. For one thing, when Loki gets involved, I can't always tell whose side he's on. But more than that, I just can't risk Jake getting hurt. He just doesn't get it. He doesn't get that this is real life. This isn't some video game that you can reset to start over when you wipe out. If this goes badly, he could wind up … Well, I don't even want to go there. Game over. For yet another of the people who matter most to me.

He doesn't care. He's too accustomed to the dojo or to
organized, disciplined, orderly sports. Games. Games where there's a ref who blows a whistle when things get screwed up. To him, this alliance with Loki is like the ultimate three-point shot: a chance to be the ultimate hero.

And the chance is worth so much to him that he's willing to betray me. To lie to me. To violate my trust. Or so I think. Suspect. Fear.

And I'm letting him.

I'm so far gone, so twisted, that some part of me still responds to him. God help me, I
want
to believe him when he says, “No more games,” even though I know I can't. I was right about Skyler, I've been right about Loki time and time again. If I have a hunch about Jake, well … I just might be right about him, too. I have to assume that he's reporting back to Loki after our every conversation. I have to assume he's keeping tabs. For the time being, I have to consider
the possibility that my boyfriend is my enemy.

I should hate him, I know. How can a girl still care about someone who so clearly doesn't have her interests at heart? Or rather is so misguided in what he thinks my interests are that he just may endanger us both? How can I just sit back and allow this?

I don't hate him, though. I don't hate him at all. I may have gotten
Alias
instead of
90210
, but I still can't bring myself to hate him. Who knows? Maybe if I hold out long enough, I'll somehow regain control.

Maybe, if I keep my wits about me, I can write my own script. One where Oliver is gone and Jake is on my side.

Maybe, just once, I can have my happy ending.

I've
been thinking a lot about comic book superheroes. You know-Bruce Banner, Peter Parker, Clark Kent … They all had one thing in common. (Well, two things, I guess, if you're counting the fact that they all have these nifty alliterative names.)

Duality.

Each of these heroes had mild-mannered aliases that they assumed by the light of day. Each had a secret that he couldn't share with those closest to him. Each fought tirelessly for the greater good but under the “guise” of his true identity and couldn't take any credit for his actions. Each was forced to create the persona of an average, everyday human being.

JAKE
I know how that goes.

I mean, not to say that I'm like Superman or something. I don't believe in magic, and I don't think I'm larger than life. I know people think I'm cocky, and maybe I am, but there's a
limit. No, I'm not larger than life. But I am involved in something larger than myself.

It's hard, though. It's harder than I would have thought, this duality, double life … duplicity. Because no matter how often I tell myself that everything I do, I do for Gaia, the fact is that it
is
duplicitous. It is a deception. I sat across the table from my girlfriend and I told her that I wouldn't play any more games.

In effect, it wasn't a lie, I guess. I mean, to me, this isn't a game. Oliver tells me that there's someone after Gaia, and if Gaia isn't going to let him in to trust him again, then I am going to have to step up.

It's not a game, but it's not really the truth, either. I'm basically working against Gaia. Against her wishes, alongside her uncle. But what she doesn't understand—what I don't think she'll
ever
understand—is that by working with her uncle, against
her wishes, that's
exactly
how I'm working
for
her!

See? Duplicity. Duality. Irony.

And Gaia thinks I don't pay attention in Conroy's English class.

But it's not about literary devices or tricky semantics. As I said before, it's about comic book politics. Superman loved Lois Lane, but he couldn't reveal to her his true identity (well, I mean, he did, but then he had to go back in time and erase her memory and it was that whole thing—not really the point). So, effectively, he lived his life deceiving the woman he loved. For the greater good. Because he had to. A lie for the greater good is just a white lie, right? “The ends justify the means”? Who said that?

Oh, right. Machiavelli.

Not such a superhero after all.

The truth of what Ed was saying was so obvious as to completely escape her.

the elusive blond
LIZ RODKE WALKED DOWN THE HALLWAYS of the Village School more slowly than usual. She was looking for Gaia, who—big shock—didn't seem to be at school. Of course, as near as Liz could tell, Gaia seemed to view the whole school thing as optional. Or at least, she operated on a schedule of flextime. Which, Liz supposed, was vaguely cool, especially since Gaia was some sort of quasi genius who evidently didn't need the same education that the rest of the common folk did. Though her teachers weren't necessarily in on the scheme…

Gaia—Related Frowning
Whatever
. Liz shook her head, frustrated. The point was, Gaia was nowhere to be found. Which was really a shame, for two reasons:

1. Gaia was one of the only cool people to be found at the Village School and definitely one of the only girls that Liz could stand.

2. Gaia had been acting erratic and jittery lately—not at all like her usual badass self—and Liz was a little worried about her.

She took a right turn outside the science lab and sidled up to Gaia's locker. Sure enough, Gaia wasn't there. Liz discovered, however, that she wasn't the only one searching for the elusive blond. As Liz
rounded the corner, she saw a slightly disheveled Ed Fargo staring blankly at Gaia's locker door, as if he'd forgotten why he stopped by in the first place. Liz didn't know Ed all that well, but through Gaia she'd learned that he recently had been cured of a massive skateboarding injury that had left him paralyzed. Under normal circumstances, it was easy to imagine Ed as a skate rat daredevil: he was a typical class clown, self-deprecating and always up for a laugh. Liz rarely saw him frowning, as he was now. But she was given to understand that most of his frowning was Gaia-related. Ed had dated Gaia for a while before Liz came to New York. Liz didn't know exactly why it had ended, but she knew that right now, their relationship was a little strained. Yet here Ed was, Staring at Gaia's locker as though if he concentrated hard enough, he could create her from thin air just by the sheer force of his will.

“Hey,” Liz said, offering a tentative smile and a wave. “You haven't seen her either?”

Ed started out of his reverie and looked up, blinking. “Huh? No,” he confirmed. He shook his head emphatically, as if clearing away his mental cobwebs. “God, sorry. I don't know where the hell I just went. I was trying to remember the last time I'd seen or spoken to her, and I blanked out. I wanted to see what was up with her, maybe find out if she'd heard from any
colleges.” He paused thoughtfully. “If she applied to any colleges.”

Liz laughed. “So I'm guessing it wasn't that recent, huh? The last time you saw her, I mean.”

“Well, a few days ago. But since then she's been incommunicado. Which I guess I should be used to,” Ed said, sounding resigned but not angry.

“Yeah, I get the feeling that Gaia can be hard to pin down,” Liz agreed. “But I wanted to talk to her. She seemed upset the other day, so now that she hasn't been in school … I don't know, I guess I'm being like a nervous mother or something. I mean, Gaia can take care of herself.”

“Well, yes and no,” Ed hedged.

Liz didn't quite want to ask what he meant by that. “I guess, you know, if you see her—let her know I was looking. And I'll do the same for you,” she suggested.

“Sure,” Ed said, snapping back into full consciousness as if by the flip of a light switch. “If all else fails, we'll see her at prom, right?”

“Yeah, definitely. I mean, are you … You guys aren't going together, are you?” Liz asked. She would have thought that Gaia would be going with Jake since they were technically together. But she hadn't seen them hanging out over the last few days, and the last time they spoke, Gaia told her that Jake hadn't asked her yet. So really, it was anybody's guess.

“Oh, no,” Ed replied. “I'm taking Kai. I mean, even though we aren't dating anymore, she's really cool and fim, and we both thought we'd have a good time together.”

“Yeah, you definitely will,” Liz affirmed. From what she knew of Kai, she was bubbly, sweet, and very easygoing—a perfect platonic date for someone like Ed.

“I thought Gaia would be going with Jake,” Ed continued, echoing Liz's thoughts. “But when we talked about it, she seemed weird,”

“I'm not sure when he asked her,” Liz filled in. “I think she was nervous about that. Which, I mean, is totally ridiculous. Obviously Jake asked her.”

“Well, yeah …” Ed trailed off, looking uncomfortable.

“What?” Liz demanded.

“It's just that then I heard a
really
strange rumor. Normally I would just, you know, consider the source and completely blow it off, but …”

Liz's eyes narrowed with suspicion. She fixed Ed with a scrutinizing gaze. “Spill it, Fargo,” she insisted.

“Listen, I heard this from Megan, who … well, anyway, I heard it from Megan. But I heard … I heard that Gaia was going to the prom with your brother,” Ed finished awkwardly.

Liz's forehead creased in confusion. At first she didn't get it. Gaia and Chris were friendly enough, but—well, Chris was gay, and if he was going to go the
“take-a-friend” route, he had closer friends than Gaia Moore. The truth of what Ed was saying was so obvious as to completely escape her. Realization dawned in her mind just as Ed offered clarification.

“I heard she was going with
Skyler.”

LIZ FOUND HER BROTHER CHRIS studying in the library, perched at a large wooden table surrounded by chemistry textbooks. He looked deep in thought, but she was undaunted. She marched up to him purposefully, her blond hair trailing behind her like in a power shot from
Charlie's Angels
or the latest John Woo movie.

Against All Laws of God and Nature
“What the hell?” Liz demanded, grabbing Chris's arm roughly and yanking him around so he was facing her. Several students hovering nearby looked up in mild alarm, suggesting that maybe her tone was a few octaves higher than library decorum dictated. She didn't much care.

“Um, excuse me?” Chris asked, looking extremely annoyed. “I have not the faintest idea what could possibly have your panties in a bunch, so for the love of Pete, please clarify.”

Liz had the decency to look slightly abashed over her physical assault. Nonetheless, she was too stunned by Ed's recent revelation to be distracted from the matter at hand. “Did you
hear
who Gaia is going to the prom with?!”

“Uh, no, but my guess is that you did, and for some reason, it's a match you deem against all laws of God and nature, huh?” Chris quipped wryly. “Fill me in, sis. The suspense is killing us.” He gestured grandly to the small audience Liz's histrionics had amassed. A gaggle of FOHs, led by Laura, were openly staring. Liz stared Laura down until she had the decency to look away.
Gossip-hungry jackals
, she thought fleetingly. She looked up again to find Laura eyeing her new T-shirt with the cute flutter sleeves and subtly adjusted her posture so as to really give the trend-seeking fashion victim a better view.
As if she'd ever have an original stylish impulse of her own
, she thought, knowing she was more irritated by the weirdness going on between Gaia and Skyler than anything else.

“She's going with
Skyler,”
Liz hissed fervently.

Chris's eyes darkened momentarily. He composed himself quickly—but not quickly enough to escape Liz's notice. “See?” she said. “You think it's weird, too!”

“Why would I care who Gala goes to the prom with, Liz?” Chris asked, with as much derision as he could muster. “She's
your
friend.”

“Okay, first of all,” Liz said excitedly, lowering herself into the seat next to Chris and leaning forward with urgency, “she's your friend, too, so don't try to be all too cool for school, okay? And second, he's your brother, so you have to have at least a little bit of interest in that. And third … well,
ick!
I mean, he's
Skyler…
. He's our brother…. He's…” She trailed off, floundering. Just why
was
this bothering her so much, anyway? Was it because she was
jealous?
No, she wasn't petty that way. It wasn't so much that Skyler was stealing her friend so much as … the
way
he was doing it. College guys dated high school girls all the time, so it wasn't the age difference. And she honestly wouldn't have cared if Skyler and Gaia were involved. But she knew, as much as she could possibly know, that Gaia was totally hooked on Jake. Which made Gaia's relationship with Skyler a little creepy. And the way that they always seemed to be disappearing together… And why was Chris being so normal about this? Since when was he such a paragon of maturity? He
hated
Skyler, even though he would have denied it if she asked.