Exposed (36 page)

“Okay.”

“I’m on surveillance at Mladovic’s. I couldn’t get out of it.”

“Why should you?”

He watched her, searching her face. “LeBlanc has the late shift. You okay with that?”

She could tell it would do no good to argue, so she simply shrugged. “If you all feel it’s necessary—”

“We do. But things are starting to come together. We’re hoping to have an arrest warrant soon, maybe as early as today.”

Her stomach clenched. “There’s been a break?”

“Yes.”

“Jolene—”

“Still missing. This is something else.” His gaze held hers, and she felt as if he was searching for some reaction. He wasn’t going to tell her the rest of it, and she hadn’t really expected him to. Ever since the shooting, he’d been stingy with information, as if by not giving her any, he could erase her involvement.

He stepped closer, and her pulse picked up. She was conscious of his height and his solid strength as he gazed down at her.

“These guys are going to fall like dominoes, Maddie. And when that happens, things will settle down. Everything won’t be so difficult.”

“You mean for you?”

“For us.”

Us
. She felt the briefest flicker of hope, but then it was replaced by nerves. She couldn’t let him keep pushing this.

He rested his hand at the side of her neck. “After this case ends, I want to try to make this work.”

Maddie’s heart skittered. She wanted to say something, but everything she could think of seemed wrong.

“Brian . . .”

His gaze stayed on hers, and she felt her stomach twisting into knots.

“I’m sorry. I like you very much. I do. But this is impossible.”

“Why?”

“Because . . . of a lot of reasons. Our ages, our jobs, our backgrounds. Because of what people would say.”

He let his hand drop away, and she felt her familiar frustration rising to the surface. He’d never even tried to see this from her perspective. “What would they say?”

“You’re younger than I am. So people would gossip about me and say I’m just with you for sex. They’d say I’m using you for revenge against my philandering ex-husband.”

“So?”

“
So?
Brian, I
hate
being gossiped about. It’s insulting to both of us.”

“Maddie, who cares what anyone says or thinks? We both know the truth.”

She stood there uncomfortably.
What
truth? That this wasn’t about sex—at least, not completely? That she cared about this man? That in the impossibly short span of a few weeks, she’d managed to fall for him? It was crazy. She was crazy. And it was reckless, too, because there was no future in it, and she needed to make him see that.

“Brian.” She took a deep breath and looked him
squarely in the eye. Her heart was racing now, and she could feel the panic creeping in as the conversation got more and more out of control. “I have to tell you, even if the other stuff wasn’t an issue, I don’t want a relationship. Not with anyone. It isn’t about you.”

Something flared in his eyes, and she could tell she’d struck a nerve.

He leaned back against the counter. “You travel light now, is that it? No baggage? Now that your daughter’s gone, you’re just head down”—he cut through the air with his hand—“straight to the finish line.”

“Don’t be glib.”

“I’m being honest.”

“So am I,” she said.

“No, you’re not. You’re being a coward.”

Fury bubbled up. “I’m trying to have an open conversation and save us both a lot of trouble.”

“Fine. Let’s be open, then. Isn’t this about Emma?”

“No!”

He stared at her with those hazel eyes, and it felt like he could see straight into her soul. He stepped closer and looked down at her.

“Maddie, come on.” His gaze softened. “You think I don’t see how torn up you are? You think I don’t know that you’re working yourself to death and that you cry in your sleep and can’t stand to look at little kids?”

Maddie’s skin went cold. She felt sick. “You have no right to judge me.”

“I’m not judging you.” His held her gaze and touched her neck again. “Just listen, okay? I know you’re scared. I know that.”

“I’m not
scared
.”

He just watched her, and she realized it was pointless to argue. So she was scared. Fine. But her relationship fear wasn’t the only problem here. Why couldn’t he see that?

“Brian, look.” She stepped away from him. “You’re a good man. And you seem traditional. Don’t you want a family someday? A wife and kids?”

He didn’t react at all, didn’t even blink.

“You don’t have to answer that, because I
know
you do. It’s in your DNA. I don’t want those things anymore. And I’m sorry. I care about you, I really do. But that’s why I’m telling you this now. I can’t give you want you want. I can’t give you anything but . . .” She motioned back and forth between them.

“Sex.”

“Yes.”

“So you’re offering me just sex?” He smiled now, but there was no humor in it. He rubbed the back of his neck. “Because don’t think I won’t take you up on it. I will.” He shook his head, and she saw something in his eyes that looked like resignation. “I’m crazy about you, Maddie. I’ll take anything you’ll give me.”

Her throat tightened at his words, at the utterly honest look on his face. His pride was on the line here. And he was standing here basically tossing it away, just for a chance to be with her and not even have a relationship. How had she lowered him to this?

And she felt a sharp pang of guilt, because what he was saying actually sounded tempting.

But it also sounded terrible. If she agreed to it,
she
would be the one who ended up with her heart shredded at the end of everything.

“Brian—”

A rap on the door had them both turning around. Brian’s hand was instantly on the pistol she hadn’t even noticed tucked beneath his shirt. He nudged the blinds aside.

“It’s Sam.” He turned to look at her. “I have to go.”

She nodded.

“Hicks is on his way. Do
not
leave without him. Don’t go anywhere.” He stepped closer. “Are we clear?”

She nodded. She was clear on that. It was everything else that had her completely lost.

“You look like shit.” Sam smiled at him over the roof of the Taurus. “Long night?”

Brian didn’t answer. He slid into the car and rattled off directions he’d been given over the phone a few minutes ago. Brian saw his replacement pulling up, right on time, but his relief was short-lived as he thought about Maddie’s plans for the day. Why couldn’t she spend her Sunday lazing around, like most people? He knew the underlying reason, but knowing didn’t make him feel better.

Sam turned out of the neighborhood and shot him a look. “So who’s this guy we’re meeting? And let me tell you, this better be good, because I skipped my coffee to haul ass over here.”

“Name’s Scott Black. He’s the firearms expert at the Delphi Center.”

“You met him before?”

“Up ahead on the left, after the gas station.” He glanced at Sam. “A few times, yeah. From what I’ve seen, he’s good. Maddie vouches for him.”

Sam pulled into the Taco Bell parking lot and swung into a space. Brian spotted the pickup.

“Black F-150,” he said, getting out.

The man was already crossing the lot. He wore jeans and boots and had a holster tucked under his jacket. Brian made quick introductions.

“I ran across a gun you’re looking for,” Black said without preamble.

“Where?” Brian asked.

“Pawn shop off I-35.”

“You just ‘ran across’ it?” Sam sounded skeptical.

“This was off a tip. It’s an Ed Brown Kobra pistol. A forty-five.”

“Nice gun,” Brian said.

“Matte finish. Snakeskin metal slide. Paperwork was fudged, so a cop I know seized the weapon. Shop owner’ll cooperate if we lean on him some.” Black leveled a look at Brian. “Fired a few test rounds. Casings match the one from the movie theater last week.”

Sam looked at Black. “You’re telling me someone offloaded this gun after shooting it at an FBI agent? What’s this guy, brain-dead?”

“Greedy. Seller probably got at least a grand for it. Pawn shop owner was asking three times that.”

“Who’s the seller?” Brian asked.

“Luis Gutierrez. Minor-league gangster who thinks he’s a gun expert.” Black looked from Brian to Sam. “I have reason to believe the weapon was once in possession of someone you’re investigating. Anatoli Petrovik’s prints were on it.”

Sam didn’t even bother to conceal his amazement now. “Anatoli sold it without wiping it down?”

“Outside of the piece was clean as a whistle. Not even Gutierrez’s prints. These were
inside
,” Black said. “You know how it is—guys sitting around, shooting the shit, cleaning their weapons. Their prints are on everything, but later they forget and only wipe down the parts they touched recently, like the grip and the trigger. Shop owner ID’d Gutierrez in a photo array, said he was the seller but gave a different name. Because of his record, looks like Gutierrez used a phony ID when he made the sale.”

Brian stared at him, trying to get his head around this stroke of luck. The fingerprints could mean a warrant and an arrest that could shift the tide of the entire investigation.

Black reached into his back pocket and pulled out some folded paperwork. “Here’s a copy of the report.”

“This tipster of yours,” Sam said. “Who is it, some crackhead?”

Black smiled. “Not exactly.”

“We’re going to need names, numbers, everything you got.” Sam slapped Brian on the back. “You believe this? We’re finally going to arrest one of these assholes.”

“There’s more,” Black said. “Anatoli isn’t the only person who handled that gun.”

Brian looked up from the paperwork.

“I lifted a stray thumbprint. Just one, but it’s good and clean, so I ran it. Comes back to a Dr. Goran Mladovic.”

Special Agent Chris Hicks sped through the hills, content to let Maddie sit quietly as he chauffeured her to
the Delphi Center. She was glad for the silence. Since Brian had walked out her door, all she’d been able to think about were his parting words.

You’re a coward
.

The accusation stung. She felt hurt. And angry. But she also felt panicked, because he knew her secret. He knew
her
.

Despite everything people had been telling her for years, Brian somehow could see that she
wasn’t
brave, or resilient, or strong enough to carry any burden God placed on her shoulders. She wasn’t any of those things people said about her. In reality, she was weak and scared, and Brian was the first to have the courage to come out and say it.

For five years, she’d held her grief in a white-knuckled grip, as if clinging to it would somehow bring Emma back. She couldn’t loosen her hold. And if she was honest, she didn’t want to loosen it. She didn’t want to let go of the one thing she’d been clinging to like a lifeline, because it would be like letting Emma go, too. The grief was agonizing, but it was also familiar, and she couldn’t imagine living without it. She didn’t want to.

So Brian was right. She
was
a coward. And it unnerved her to think of what else he might be right about.

Her heart ached as she thought of the look on his face, the vulnerability she’d seen in his eyes when he’d said he was crazy about her. She felt a fresh surge of fear, because those words had been a trap. He
knew
she couldn’t continue to see him and keep it only about sex. He knew perfectly well that the more time he spent
with her, the more he’d wear her down, until her defenses were gone and she was trapped in an impossible relationship.

It struck her once again how different he was from Mitch. She remembered what he’d said about infidelity. And the crazy thing was, she believed him. He was strong and committed and loyal. He was probably good at long-term relationships, and he deserved to have one with someone who had everything in life ahead of her.