Exposing the Bad Boy (18 page)

Now, everything was corrupted. Those people back there thought I was someone to mob and cheer for. That I was someone special. Sitting in the shadows, listening to nothing but the hum of my own breathing, I wondered how anyone could think that.

She thought I was special.

Ellie. Fuck.

Opening my eyes, I twisted around to stare at my backseat. The fire-red helmet was resting on the floor, exactly where I'd left it. A piece of paper stuck to the side, familiar and heartbreaking.

Ripping it free, I peeled out the card. Ellie's handwriting curled on the page, then curled through my blood. Her gift had gone beyond a piece of equipment—the jump we'd done together was far more personal. But, it bothered me that I'd never gotten to use this after she'd given it to me.

Tucking it under my arm, I exited my car.
I'll jump tonight. Alone.
The purity of the act was what I craved. I didn't want cameras, directors, people dusting makeup on my fucking face. All I craved was the freedom of the fall. Just me, the night, and the escape from my buzzing mind.

Crossing from the garage to the stairs, I was almost to my door when I saw her. She was sitting on the ground, chin propped on one hand while the other tapped at her phone. I don't know if it was the sound of my feet or just my approaching heat, but Ellie looked up, spotting me.

I'd forgotten how green her eyes were.

“Pike!” Climbing to her feet, she started to come my way—hesitated the last second. Hovering by my door, Ellie waited for me to close the gap.

Intentionally, because I didn't know what I would do if I got too close to her, I left a good three feet between us. “What are you doing here?” I asked, sounding more gruff than I meant to.

Amazingly, she didn't flinch. “Why do you
think
I'm here?” The edge of the building cast darkness across her face. Even so, the sun fought to make her cheeks bright. Ellie's sparkle came from inside, defeating everything that dared to smother her.

Standing so very still, I forced my hands to stay at my sides. “To try to talk me into quitting.”

“Pike... I wanted to apologize.”

My fists fell open, limp. “I—for what?”

“For walking out on you like I did.” Kicking the ground, she turned her phone nervously in her fingers. Finally, she stuck it in her jeans. “I was just... god, I was so scared.”

“Ellie...”

Clenching her own face, lines grew over her forehead. “I have no right to tell you to stop jumping. I just didn't... when I saw you in that hospital bed, I...” Almost violently, she shook her head. “I'm as bad as my mother.”

It was too much for me. I knew exactly what I had to do... for her.

And for me.

Reaching out, I took her hand. Both of us shivered, our skin remembering too well what we felt for each other. “Follow me,” I said, releasing her before I gave in. I had too much to tell her. If I didn't do it now, I'd never be able to.

I led her around my building, ascending a set of metal stairs. For the whole trip, neither of us spoke. The only comfort was our paired echoes; our feet stepping in tandem.

Pulling myself up the short ladder, I waited for Ellie on the roof. The hour was late, sunset slipping across the sky and marking the landscape with purples.

“Wow,” she said, scrambling over the ledge. Dusting off her knees, Ellie turned in place, taking a moment to study the plain roof. “I didn't know you could get up here. It's beautiful.”

Transfixed on her glimmering appreciation, I broke away.
Focus.
Hooking my thumbs in my belt, I moved to the far edge. There, I settled down, one leg hanging out in the air. This was the best spot, you could see the tall buildings of downtown in the distance. In the fading day, they reminded me of forgotten giants from another time.

Gingerly, Ellie sat beside me. I was conscious of our distance. It pained me, left me empty and cold. If I did nothing, this was the reality that awaited us. A life where neither her or I fully connected. I'd never let anyone into my soul before.

I had to try.

Failure would offer closure. And success... success would mend our hearts.

“Five years ago,” I started, unsettled by my own voice, “My father passed away.” Had it only been five years? It felt like an eternity.

She was watching me intensely, the light of her stare burning into the side of my skull. I imagined she was trying to see right into my mind.

Closing my hands into white-knuckled balls, I said, “I told you he didn't teach me to base jump. That was the truth. I was the one who wanted to do it, he just facilitated my desire by making me do it right. He insisted on being careful... prepared... routine. Some people rely on luck. He always said luck would lead a man to his death.”

I thought Ellie was holding her breath. I appreciated her silence.

“My dad was all I had. I was all
he
had.” Memories swam up, tugging at me like waves that grew fiercer with time. “The day I turned eighteen, he wanted to celebrate with me. We took a trip to Malibu.”

There's one place I want to jump from, more than anything. Some day, we'll do it together.

That voice was back...
his
voice. My father had hoped, one day, to take me to his dream location. New Zealand was far too expensive for us, though. Over and over, he promised me that we'd do it. I just had to be patient, he'd say.

Joining Maximal had happened, mostly, because of Ellie's promise. She'd claimed they could take me anywhere. I'd prayed that Maximal could let me experience my father's dream.

Maybe they still can.

Ellie was watching me, so I made myself talk. “We climbed to the top of a cliff beside the ocean.” Shuddering, I stared out over the city, seeing that blue expanse of water instead. “It was a gorgeous day.”

Sensing what was coming, Ellie pulled her knees to her chest.

The weight of my history crushed me. Setting my face in my palms, I gathered myself. “We jumped together, just like we had so many times before. That day was different—it didn't
feel
like it would be different. That's just how it goes, I think.”

Remembering the look on my father's face as his chute opened, catching a sharp draft that blew him into the cliff rocks, shattering his spine and puncturing his heart... it made me dizzy. I didn't like thinking about how it had happened.

Death was never easy.

My silence must have stretched too long. Ellie's voice was frail. “He died on a jump? On your
birthday?
”

Turning towards her, I was startled by the horror in her twisted features. “Yes.”

In a whirl of distress, Ellie leaned away from me. “I don't understand. That... if he died doing that, then shouldn't you understand your mortality better? Shouldn't that make you
want
to stop jumping entirely?” Catching herself, she dropped her tone. “I'm sorry. It's just—I don't get it. It must be so painful for you.”

Smiling gently, I looked upwards at the rich, dark sky. “It's the opposite.”

“What do you mean?”

It was hard to see the stars, but I pictured their gleam. If there was pure blackness, they'd shine easier. It was funny how light managed that. “Ellie... when I jump... when I fall through the air with nothing around me but the wind and the fury of it all burning in my ears... it isn't pain. It isn't torture.” Shutting my eyes, I traveled the splotches of color behind my lids, reveled in them. “When I jump, I feel closer to my father than ever. It's the only time I
truly
know he's still with me.”

Turning towards her, I whispered, “How could I ever give that up?”

Her fingers flitted upwards, touching my cheek as if confirming I really existed. I saw myself in the mirrors of her eyes, my face warped by the wet emerald surface. “You're right, how could you? I didn't understand before. I'm so sorry, Pike.”

Trapping her palm against my face, I let my muscles give way. I'd held back so much, and for so very, very long. Ellie's acceptance—beyond that, her understanding—erased years of suffering. “I'm sorry I ran you off, Ellie. I should have told you what this all meant to me.”

Those perfect teeth ran over her bottom lip, reminding me how soft it would be to kiss. “Pike... you're not like anyone I've ever known.”

Chuckling, I slid her into my lap, relishing in her scent and heartbeat. “I was about to say the same about you.” Tilting her jaw up, I stopped fighting my desire. Ellie tasted like redemption, and I was ready for more.

Whimpering, she collapsed against me. Her fingers wrapped in my hair, thighs adjusting so she could straddle me on the roof. With the sun sinking below the horizon, we smothered ourselves, desperate for more of each other.

The vibration that came from her pocket made me growl. Gasping, she disengaged, feeling for her phone. “Sorry, let's stop for one second.”

“I don't want to stop. Not now, and not ever.”

Blushing, she slid off of me, digging in her jeans. “Let me get this first, then we can see what an eternity of making out feels like.”

My grin was sharp on the corners. I wanted to smile so fiercely that her clothes shredded away. “I plan to do more than just kiss you, Ellie.” I rubbed my rock-hard cock in my pants, making sure she saw.

Ellie paused, fixated on me. “Unfair.”

“Take your call. I can wait one whole minute. Maybe two.” Stretching, I bent sideways, looking out over the city below. The sunset was struggling to live on, painting the world an array of contrasting colors. Soon, night would take over.

Would we see the stars, then?

“What? I... no, that can't be right. Please tell me—I... how?
How?
”

My heart froze. Looking back, I saw Ellie; the whites of her eyes took up so much of her face. They matched the color of her skin, the bloodless tint of her knuckles where she crushed the phone to her ear.

On instinct I moved towards her, ready to hurt or halt whatever had dared to make her so terrified. “What is it, what's wrong?”

Slowly, her face moved side to side. I didn't think human lips could go so waxy. Her words were beyond hollow—an echo onto themselves. “That was Maximal. It's—it's all over the news.”

“What's all over the news?” My heart was dangerously near rupturing.

“A kid. Pike, some kid killed himself.” She didn't seem capable of blinking.

I opened my jaw, worked my brain. Everything in the air felt heavy and wrong. “I don't understand, what does this have to do with Maximal? Did we know him? Was it a suicide?”

The hand that held her phone dropped to her hip in defeat. No sound came from her moving lips.

In desperation to end this awful moment, I squeezed her shoulders, gave her a sharp shake. “Ellie, what the hell is going on?”

Like waking from a nightmare, she finally settled her stare on me. Only once in my life have I heard a voice filled with so much sorrow. On that day, I'd been told my father was dead.

Now, looking at me with her very pupils trembling, Ellie rang with that same horrific vibe. “He jumped off of his apartment roof. Pike... he was copying
you
.”

Ellie

––––––––

“T
his is just what we fucking need,” Corbin snapped, pacing his office like an animal in too small of a cage. His ashtray was stuffed with cigarettes. The one in his mouth was close to joining the collection.

Watching him, my mind floating elsewhere, I struggled to word my concerns. “The news is blaming us. Blaming Pike. What are we supposed to do?”

He shot me a look, blowing a cloud of grey through his nose. Heading to one of the windows, Corbin folded his arms, feet rocking. I'd never seen him so edgy. “I've got our lawyers on it. They say the family can't sue. The kid jumped of his own accord.”

“Niko,” I mumbled.

Wrenching around, he let ashes tumble to the rug. “What?

“The kid, his name was Niko.” Rubbing my eyes, I leaned back in my chair. We'd gotten the news two days ago, and ever since, I'd been fighting insomnia. “They keep saying it was a head injury. He fell, misjudged the height... didn't have a helmet on. No one knows where he got a parachute. Is this really not our fault, not at all?”

Staring at me incredulously, Corbin started to pace once more. “We can't police kids. They'll emulate what they see. That's life.”

The stem of my brain tingled, wriggling with unease. “That's just it. He was copying
Pike
. We put him out there, got him all over the TV. There has to have been a way to prevent this.”

Sighing, Corbin sat across from me. “Ellie, what could we have done?”

Dropping my face into my hands, I closed my eyes. “I don't know. I keep asking myself that. Those poor parents... this just hurts so bad...”

His hand came down on my shoulder. Looking up, I stared into my boss's serious, if not somewhat empathetic, stare. “This isn't the first time someone has gotten killed playing pretend. All we can do is move on. How is Pike holding up?”

Hesitating, I folded my hands in my lap. “Not good. He mentioned something about wanting to... quit.”

Corbin grimaced, crushing his cigarette in the ashtray. “I'm sorry, he wants to
what?”

It was impossible to forget his face that night. Pike had held me in his arms, or maybe I was holding him; both of us were so lost in what had happened. He'd put his forehead to mine, whispering, “I'm done. It's over. I'm quitting all of this.”

“You can't,” I'd gasped, choking through my salty tears. “Not after what you told me. Jumping is what you love!”

Pike had stared at me, something incomprehensible in his eyes, in the tilt of his frown. Whatever he wanted to say, I think he must have decided it was better not to. Instead, he took a long breath, speaking with the grit of a thousand deserts. “I won't stop base jumping in private. But I'm done acting like some welcome-wagon for it on TV. I'm going to quit Maximal.”

I'd wanted him to quit so, so much,
I thought now, looking blankly at the desk in front of me.
I just want him to do what makes him happy.