Exposure (7 page)

Fuck again. She still went? He looked at
her, torn between emotions he couldn't begin to put a name to.
"Something had to trigger the first episode."

She shook her head. "I'm not a rape victim.
I've never been abused. I'm just…a freak."

"Enough," he ground through clenched teeth.
"Don't make me repeat myself. You are not a freak." But there was
something else there, something she wasn't saying or possibly
didn't even understand herself.

He wanted her. Always had. If it were
possible, he wanted her more than ever. Understanding now why she'd
been dissatisfied with her partners, the need grew to claim her and
prove she was better than she envisioned. A fierce beast inside of
him. More, he wanted her to experience every pleasure possible,
which she couldn't do if he was immobile.

One step at a time. That was all. It would
require him go at their fulfillment in stages until she trusted
herself, trusted him. And to do that, he needed to relinquish
control.

His shoulders knotted when he looked at the
handcuffs. For her, only for her, would he even try. Because above
everything else, she had his trust. He just hoped he didn't have a
panic attack in the process.

Grabbing the hem of his T-shirt, he yanked
it over his head. Her gaze took in his shoulders, his abs, until
the mortification in her eyes disappeared and heat took its place.
Unbuttoning his fly, he shoved his jeans and boxers down, kicking
them away. His shaft swelled under her gaze.

She licked her bottom lip. "What are you
doing?"

Never taking his eyes from her, he snapped
the handcuffs around his wrists, leaving a small amount of wiggle
room. "I'm giving you what you need."

***

R
aven tried to
swallow and couldn't. It was one thing to be pressed against all
that hard muscle and another to have it displayed before her
eyes.

Wide shoulders and defined biceps made her
salivate, with veins that protruded as he flexed his fingers around
the handcuffs. He had a light dusting of blond hair on his chest
that thinned over rippled abs. A six pack that was more of a full
case. His hips were narrow, his thighs muscular. And his
erection…was a beautiful thing. Thick and long, he was above
average but not so large he'd cause pain when inside of her. The
tip jutted up, brushing his navel.

The years melted away and her need ramped.
She wanted him more than she could remember wanting anything. And
he had been there all along, waiting until they could crash
together. So much time wasted.

With only the light filtering in from the
living room, the navy colored walls appeared darker. Night all
around them. He had a large bedroom, open square floor plan. Plush,
white carpet squished under her socks. A large flat screen was
mounted to a wall above the fireplace and caught their reflection.
Modern, sleek furniture and one helluva view. And not just the
mountains.

He stroked himself and she almost swallowed
her tongue. "I'll concede the cuffs and position, baby, but you
need to understand this isn't in my nature. Give me some measure of
control."

Baby. Was it crazy she loved hearing him say
the endearment in his rough timbre? "What do you need?" Right about
now she'd give him anything. Moisture pooled between her legs.
Desire cut her breath short, heating in her belly and
spreading.

He sat on the edge of the bed and scooted
back, hands on his chest as he leaned against the headboard. "Take
off your clothes so I can look at you."

All nervousness fled as she walked to the
footboard. Seduction, nothing but sex, she could do. His gaze
tracked her every step. Slowly, she reached down and slid one sock
off, then the other. Straightening, she dipped her fingers under
the hem of her sweater and lifted it over her head, leaving her top
half bared to him in nothing but a blue satin bra.

He sucked in a breath and groaned.
"More."

His voice alone had her throbbing.
Unbuttoning her jeans, she shimmied out of them and tossed them on
top of her sweater. His gaze raked over her body, creating a trail
of heat in its wake.

"Now what?" She kind of liked this game,
liked the effect she was having on him. He was still restrained,
but calling all the shots. A bit of a win-win for both sides.

His breathing grew ragged, his eyes
narrowing. "Off. All of it off."

Smiling, she reached behind her back and
unclasped her bra, letting it slide down her arms and to the floor.
Not very well endowed, she watched his response to check for
disappointment and found none. His gaze trained on her nipples,
erect under his scrutiny. When she hooked her thumbs in the waist
of her panties, she swore he stopped breathing.

"Come over here." His voice was tight. Her
body clenched in response. As if knowing what she needed, he
scooted down so he reclined at an angle instead of sitting.

It wasn't the prone position she was used
to, but she felt no hesitation in crawling across the bed to him.
She gripped his ankles and ran her hands up his calves to his
thighs, loving that the hard muscles tensed. He watched her face,
jaw tight. Bypassing his good parts, she let her fingers brush his
abdomen. His stomach caved at the touch as he emitted a feral
groan.

He made a move to sit, but caught himself
and lay back, cuffed hands behind his head. "I want to touch you."
As if to punctuate the statement, his biceps bulged, fighting the
restraint. "Straddle me. Please."

The primal need in his voice empowered her.
This was hard for him, to shove aside his instincts so they could
be together. She wanted it to be good for him, too. The blaze in
his eyes was unlike the way anyone else had ever looked at her
before.

Bringing her leg over, she straddled him and
caged his hips with her thighs. Leaning forward, she braced her
hands on his chest, her hair a curtain just for them. Cinnamon and
spice hit her nose, the scent of him making her want to lick every
inch of his skin. "Now what would you like me to do?"

His jaw clenched. "Kiss me."

A smile threatened to tug her mouth when she
closed the distance and brought her lips to his. The charge was
potent. His firm lips met hers and parted, tongue sweeping inside
and claiming. Sliding her hands up his chest, she cupped his
jaw.

He tensed and reared, but never removed his
hands from behind his head. Tearing his mouth from hers, he closed
his eyes and pressed his face into her neck. His tongue licked her
pulse, hitting her nerve endings. He bucked his hips, sliding his
shaft between her drenched folds and rubbing her clit.

She threw her head back and moaned, the
sensation too good. "Noah."

He growled and bucked harder. "You're so wet
for me."

"Yes," she breathed, ready to come apart at
the seams. Knots bunched along her spine, tensing. "Tell me what's
next."

"Pill?"

"What?"

"Are you on the pill? I'm safe." He groaned,
rumbling her breasts with the vibration from his chest. "Need
inside you now."

Her gaze met his. "I'm safe, too." Without
breaking eye contact, she rose up and fisted the base of his shaft,
aligning him to her opening. Slowly, she came down around him, the
glide tight and hot and hard. Completely full, she leaned back and
took him even deeper.

With his eyes shut tight, he slammed his
head into the pillow. "Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me. Never done this
without a condom." He panted, his eyes scrunching tighter. His abs
clenched beneath her fingers.

Raking her nails lightly down his body, she
stopped where their bodies joined. "Me either."

He sucked in a ragged breath. "Raven."

"I think I got it from here."

She rose until just the tip of him remained
inside, and then came back down. The pressure was delicious. She
quivered around his shaft, taking him again. "Noah."

He thrust up when she crashed down, setting
a natural rhythm. Their bodies slapped together as she rode him
hard, fast, because there was no stopping this insane need. Heat
coiled in her core, pulsing, throbbing. Again and again he hit her
deep, nailing her spot and stealing her breath. Over and over she
chanted his name, each time it pulled a guttural groan from him and
he thrust harder. Sweat beaded between them, creating a slick
sheen.

"Fuck, Raven. So tight. You feel so goddamn
good."

"Yes," she breathed as a spasm ripped
through her center, striking out until she had nothing to ground
her. She screamed his name, milking him.

He roared, driving twice more before
stilling. Jerking. His release shot hot inside her as she collapsed
on his chest.

They remained like that, breathing soughed,
until she was confident they were on earth and she considered
getting off him to clean up.

"Can I move my arms?" His voice had lost all
tension, but the raspy lull was just as sexy.

She considered her answer, taking stock of
her body, and nodded against his chest.

The handcuffs clinked as he pulled them from
behind his head. He pushed the mechanism on the underside to
release both clasps and tossed the cuffs to the floor.

"You knew how to get out of them?"

"I have a similar pair."

She touched the reddened areas around his
wrists where the metal had rubbed his skin raw. He had fought the
restraints harder than she thought. "They left marks."

He shrugged under her cheek. "It'll go away.
It was worth it." His hands settled low on her back, tentative at
first. When she didn't protest, he splayed his fingers and ran his
hands up to thread them in her hair, forcing her to lift her head
and look at him.

He studied her face before clearing his
throat. "We need to talk."

Dread churned in her stomach, but she
returned her cheek to his chest to avoid him seeing all the
emotions she couldn't get a grip on. "It was a letdown from what
you imagined, wasn't it? I didn't know how to tell you my
preferences before now. I thought…"

His hands skimmed up and down her spine,
warming her cooling skin. "Thought what, baby?"

She closed her eyes, butterflies dancing in
her belly for the pet name. "I thought maybe with you I could
handle normal. But panic tightened my chest and I just couldn't.
I'm sorry."

He was silent for a beat. "I'm not sorry,
and it wasn't a letdown. Look at me."

Resisting the urge to hide, she lifted her
head and looked into his turquoise eyes. Kind, often mischievous,
and always intense eyes.

"There are so many things I want to do with
you. You built up this wall to protect yourself, and no one can
fault you for that. But this is me, and you don't need to protect
yourself from me." His gaze dropped to her mouth, over her hair and
back to her eyes. "When we walk away from this after a month, don't
you want it to be with everything I can give you?"

Her heart started to pound, in fear, but
also excitement. Wondering if she was capable of doing more, she
bit her lip.

His thumb traced over the spot, releasing
her teeth from the hold. Lifting his head, he gave her a brief
kiss. "I would never hurt you."

"I know that." She did, with every fiber of
her pathetic being, she knew. Frustrated, she sighed, wishing she
could understand why she was this way in the first place. "I want
those things, too, Noah. I just don't know if I can."

"Do you trust me?"

"Of course." She cupped his jaw, no doubt
whatsoever.

He nodded, even though he seemed doubtful.
"Then let's do this, Raven. We'll go slow. But you need to meet me
halfway and relinquish some control. Not all. This isn't a power
play. It's me giving you pleasure."

She shivered, wanting that more than
anything. If what they just shared was an indicator for what he had
in store, she'd agree to anything. Plus, he promised to go slow.
With anyone else, there was no chance she'd even try. With him,
possibilities opened. God, she just wanted to be normal.

Her throat closed, but she forced words past
the tightness. "Okay."

His grin was slow-coming, but it hit full
watt in no time. "Good. First order of business is your living
arrangements. You need to temporarily move in here with me."

R
aven shot up so
fast his head spun. "What?"

Noah was a little shocked himself by the
proposal. He'd never had a woman in his apartment, never mind
asking one to move in, albeit temporarily. But after what they'd
just done together, and everything they'd left on the table, no way
was he letting her go until he got all of her.

She made a move to climb off of him.

He grabbed her hips to still her. "Stop.
Hear me out."

She tensed, but ceased her escape.

"We live twenty minutes apart. Between your
work schedule and mine, travel would waste time. One month, Raven."
It would build trust on her end if she stayed. Falling asleep with
her, waking up, it would push his typical boundaries, but she'd
relax with him, put them in more intimate capacity. It would speed
progress.

She shook her head. "That goes beyond the
agreement. You don't share well with others. We'd kill each
other."

Something else was going on in that pretty
head of hers. "Right back at you. But what aren't you telling me?"
She hedged. He pressed. "Honesty, Raven. I need you to talk to me
or we're not going to get anywhere."

Her teeth sank into her bottom lip. "I've
never slept with a man before."

It was damn frightening how alike they were.
"Me either. Man or woman," he teased. She didn't see the humor.
"We'll figure it out. Worse case scenario, I take the guest
room."

He wondered if she realized he was touching
her now. With a firm grip on her hips, his thumbs stroked her skin
while she argued with herself. She had no problem with him touching
her in the living room, so he tried to gauge her triggers as they
went along.