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Authors: Benjamin Zephaniah

BOOK: Face
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Matthew's response was the only positive one and even that was conditional. ‘I'll go out but I'm not going to one of those rave or rap places.'

‘That's cool, man, we'll just go out, walk around East Ham or something. Check me at my house around seven.'

At seven o'clock the next evening, Matthew arrived at Martin's house. As he went to press the bell, the door opened. It was Martin's father.

‘Hello, Mr Turner.'

‘Ssh, be quiet,' Martin's father whispered. Matthew couldn't work out what was happening as Mr Turner pushed him outside and closed the door gently behind them both. ‘I wanna word with you – now, you know the phone number here, don't you?'

‘Yes, Mr Turner,' Matthew replied.

‘Well, you look after Martin, it's his first night out. If there's any trouble, give me a ring straight away – I'm sure he can look after himself, but if there's a problem ring me – all right?' he said, trying hard to
keep his voice down.

When they entered the house, Martin's father rang the bell to make Martin think Matthew had just arrived, then he shouted upstairs, ‘Martin, are you ready? Matthew's here.'

Martin ran down the stairs, heavy-footed and ready to go. Tonight he was wearing his black shell suit and black baseball cap with his white trainers. Without giving Matthew a chance to settle down, he shouted, ‘We're off, Mom, see you later. Bye, Dad.'

Matthew bid Mr and Mrs Turner goodbye and they headed down the street. There was a spring in Martin's step. Before Matthew had arrived, just thinking about going out into the night made him nervous. Now he wasn't worrying, he was just happy to be out and about. He would have liked to have been with the whole gang, including Natalie, but he still appreciated Matthew's company.

At eight o'clock in the evening High Street North was very different. All the school children were missing, the sweet shops were shut and the familiar faces had all gone. The restaurants, bars and amusement arcades had now come to life. For a while Martin became self-conscious again but he quickly realised that everyone was too busy doing their own thing to notice him.

‘Where shall we go?' he asked Matthew. ‘You said no
raves and no rap, so that doesn't leave much, does it?'

‘I have an idea,' said Matthew. ‘Let's go the Unity.'

Martin's voice raised and changed to a higher key. ‘Are you kidding, guy, the Unity, table tennis and bingo, come on, man – things aren't that bad.'

‘Well, what do you suggest?' Matthew replied.

‘I don't know but there's got to be somewhere better than that.'

‘Name it.'

‘I don't know what scenes are happening.'

‘All the happening scenes are full of drugs and losers. When I go out nowadays all I wanna do is get home safely – and getting home safely usually depends on where you go – so I've got no problem with the Unity.'

‘I suppose you're right and I suppose I should know better. OK, to the Unity we go.'

On the way to the Unity, Martin began to confide in Matthew. ‘I'll tell you something, mate, just because this has happened to me I won't let it hold me back. I'm not going to sit at home feeling sorry for myself, I'm going to go out and get some.'

‘Yeah,' Matthew replied. ‘But what you gonna get some of? Do you wanna get some of those fast cars?'

Martin stopped walking. Matthew stopped a step ahead of him. ‘What you trying to say, Matthew, man? Don't you think I've learnt anything lately? Or are you just trying to upset me or something?'

‘Why would I want to upset you? I just think cars are trouble. And most of that music you listen to is all about guns and drugs and girls.'

Martin was quick to defend. ‘Cars are OK, it's people who are crazy, and not all rap music is bad. I like it for the beat, man, the grooves. You know I never used to like rap music but it's cool to dance to. I don't listen to all that stuff about guns and drugs. The stuff about girls is cool. I got no problem with that. It's just fun, man, don't tell me girls are out of fashion!'

They both continued to walk as Matthew spoke. ‘No, but you know what I mean, it's all about lust and not about love.'

Martin's mood changed and he laughed as he said, ‘What are you saying, man? What have you been reading? We ain't supposed to fall in love until we're twenty-one or something like that. Love is something you fall into when you gotta job.'

Matthew stopped laughing. ‘Do you seriously mean that?'

‘No,' Martin began to cool down. ‘I don't really mean it, but you sound so serious about it. Love's OK but lust is fun.'

‘Isn't lust sin? Anyway, what are you dealing with? Do you love Natalie or do you lust her?' Matthew enquired.

Martin stopped laughing. ‘Good question. Well, you see, it's a bit of both, it's half love and half lust
and if we go out together for a long time, the half lust will grow into love, that's when we'll do the marriage and baby thing.'

For a few yards there was silence. What Martin had said had got Matthew thinking and Martin was also thinking about what he had just said. Martin began to get even more personal.

‘Tell me the truth now, Matthew. Do you think Natalie still likes me?'

‘Of course she does,' Matthew replied.

‘Do girls lust?‘ Martin asked.

‘I've heard that they do at certain times of the year – I think there is a season when they get all hot and passionate or something.'

‘Well, do you think she loves me or anything like that?'

‘I'm not too sure what you mean by anything like that, and from what you've just said we're all too young to know what love is.'

But Martin came again with more questions. ‘Do you think she's gone off me since the accident? Has she said anything to you about me?'

Matthew could see that deep down Martin was desperate for the truth. ‘Listen, Martin,' Matthew replied, ‘honest to God – I don't know if she's gone off you or not – I don't think so – but I don't know. And she hasn't said anything to me. When she talks to me about you it's always about making sure you're OK,
making sure you get home OK and making sure you stay out of trouble.'

‘So,' Martin replied as if slightly surprised, ‘she cares about me.'

They reached the Unity club to find about fifteen kids there. Two games of table tennis were being played. A small group of boys were playing computerised football. A group of four girls were looking through a fashion magazine and one boy was playing chess with Tony the priest. These were the good kids of the neighbourhood. All were dressed sensibly and on their best behaviour.

Tony waved and shouted, ‘Hello, Martin, nice to see you. Hi, Matthew.'

Matthew waved and Martin nodded his head in response. They watched the boys playing computerised football. Some of the younger kids stared at Martin out of curiosity but they were quietly told off by their older friends. Martin could hear the whispered telling offs as he explored the various corners of the club.

He hated it. After thirty minutes he told Matthew how much he hated it. ‘Look, man, we got to go. I hate it here. Lying in a hospital bed is more exciting. Let's go.'

‘Where?' Matthew asked.

‘Anywhere. I'd rather just walk the streets than stay here.'

‘OK,' Matthew said. ‘Let's go.'

As they reached the door, Tony jumped up from his seat and ran over to them. Martin had always found him funny with his very posh accent and his out of date sense of fashion. Tonight he was dressed in jeans, a tweed jacket and a white shirt with his church collar on top of it.

‘Martin, my dear friend,' he said. ‘It's good to see you. Aren't you staying?'

‘No, I can't,' Martin replied. ‘I promised my parents I'd be home early tonight.'

‘I understand. I've been seeing quite a lot of Matthew lately, haven't I, Matthew?'

‘Yes,' Matthew said reluctantly.

Martin shifted his eyes towards Matthew in surprise.

‘Matthew knows that he's welcome to come here any time – so are you. Our doors are open to anyone regardless of age, race – or disability.'

Martin's heart raced. He breathed deeply in order to control his temper. He felt sweat breaking out in his palms and a warm glow around him as if his blood was warming. Once again he felt like lashing out; he didn't care if he was a priest, he wanted to punch him. But the voice in his head said,
No
.
Just talk to him.

‘Tony, you listen to me, man. You may think you're perfect, you may think you know everything and that you're going to Heaven but let me tell ya something, I ain't disabled.'

Tony tried to interrupt. ‘I didn't say you were disabled. I just said all are welcome regardless of race or … '

Martin came back, ‘Disability. You've never mentioned age or race to me before. Why you quoting your equal opportunity stuff to me now; I've been coming to this place a long time before you.'

‘Calm down now, Martin,' Tony held his hands out and waved them soothingly. ‘Calm down.'

‘I am calm. Let me explain something to you. Anything I could do before I can do now. There are some things I can do better now, like spotting the patroniser. I was in here two months ago, I'm only two months older now, and I am the same race and I have the same abilities. Goodnight, Mister – Reverend – Tony.'

Martin turned and walked away at speed. Matthew was stunned by Martin's performance. For a moment he watched Martin walking down the road, then he looked at Tony, who was also in a state of shock, watching Martin.

‘I've got to go,' Matthew said and he ran to join Martin. When Matthew had caught up with him he was out of breath. ‘Hey, Martin, that was amazing, man. I like the way you just come out with the truth, man.'

Martin replied on the move with his tongue firmly in check. ‘This is part of my role in life – you see,
some people may think I've got some disease that they can catch, or that the way I look makes me disabled, so I have to tell people to look beneath my face and see me, the real me. This is deep.'

They walked back to Martin's house at a leisurely pace. Martin asked Matthew why he had been spending so much time at the Unity and how he put up with their lack of activities. Matthew agreed that the club wasn't the liveliest of places but he insisted that it was safe and there was never any trouble there.

Martin went to bed contented that night. The idea that he might be seen as disabled angered him greatly, but recalling Tony's response, or lack of response to his outburst, amused him. He also realised that living with his new looks could well mean that he had to become an educator.
It isn't just about me and how I cope with it, it's me learning to deal with other people's prejudices,
he thought.

Chapter 17
~ The Call of Duty ~

Martin spent Sunday lazing around the house listening to music and trying to convince his father that buying him a pair of trainers that cost £100 was a good investment. His father spent Sunday telling Martin to leave him alone and Mrs Turner tried hard to keep the peace. It was very much like old times.

Martin woke up early on Monday morning. He made his own breakfast of egg on toast before heading off to school.

As he approached the school he saw Matthew waiting. On seeing Martin, Matthew began to walk towards him. Martin could sense that something wasn't right.

‘Hi, man. What's up?' Martin asked.

‘Have you seen the local paper?'

‘You know I don't read the papers,' Martin replied.

Matthew pulled a newspaper from out of a bag he had over his shoulder. ‘
Newham Echo
, guy, front page. Look.'
Matthew held the front page up for Martin to see and Martin read it out loud. ‘
Drug Crazed Car Thief Goes to Jail
.' Martin grabbed the paper from Matthew and began to read the report.

‘A nineteen-year-old man appeared before Snaresbrook Court on Monday on eight counts of taking motor vehicles without the owners' permission and four charges of supplying heroin. Graham Fisher, who was known to his associates as The Apache, was described by Judge Murray Cole as a mindless, selfish beast who had no regard for the rule of law and therefore had to be removed from the free world for the protection of upright citizens.

The court heard how in August, Fisher and Peter Mosley (17), stole a Ford Escort from Katherine Road in East Ham and picked up two younger boys on the Boleyn Estate. They were later spotted by a police patrol car travelling at 100 mph. The police gave chase at high speed, resulting in a crash at the junction of Green Street and Barking Road. Peter Mosley was announced dead at the scene of the crash. Mark Thorpe (15) and Graham Fisher both received minor injuries but Martin Turner (15) was so badly burnt that he was hospitalised and had to undergo plastic surgery. The court heard that Martin Turner and his school friend Mark Thorpe were unaware that the car was stolen and believed they were receiving a lift home. But Graham Fisher, who had earlier used a
large amount of heroin, instead went on a high speed drive through Newham and Essex. After the arrest of Fisher, it was discovered that both he and Mosley were members of a gang known as The Raiders Posse. Various other members of the gang have since been arrested and charged with drug and firearms offences. Sentencing Fisher to three years' imprisonment for car theft, Judge Murray Cole said that young people must learn that they cannot simply take what is not theirs without suffering the consequences of the law. Fisher broke down in court and cried when the judge sentenced him to a further three years' imprisonment for the possession of, and supplying, drugs. The sentences are to run consecutively.'

Martin stopped reading and looked towards Matthew. ‘What's consecutive mean?'

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