Face Time (13 page)

“My team.” Mary smiles and points at her Manchester United sticker tacked to her computer monitor.

“Yes. I figured you’d like that. We both workout a lot, and, wow, Mary, I’ve never had so much in common with a guy before.” I twist my cup in the cardboard sleeve a few times. Our FaceTime date last night was filled with laughter, confessions, and downright animal urges to jump through the internet and accost him. He told me my lips were delicious and holding my hand made him lightheaded with happiness. No man has ever said that to me.

She sighs and props her chin on her hand.

“But he lives in Seoul, Laura. Have you told your mom?”

“I have. I don’t know what’s going on with her, though. I’ve mentioned him several times, and she’s either losing her memory or conveniently forgetting.
 
Each time I mention him, she seems surprised and then lectures me again about dating long-distance. She’s already made several comments on how embarrassing I am.”

Mary taps her pen on her moleskine and stares out her window at the traffic on Sixth Avenue. “You don’t think she’s jealous, do you?”

“I suppose anything’s possible. She’s had more boyfriends in the past two years than I’ve had in the past ten years, but she goes through them like water.” I sip on my coffee while Mary sits silently. “I appreciate the fact she’s making up for the years she spent with my dad, but it would be nice if she were even a little bit happy for me.”

Mary’s face turns to me bearing a sympathetic frown. “I’m happy for you. You deserve to date someone who likes you back.”

“Thanks, Mary.” I sigh and swipe some lint off my jeans.
 

“Laura, I have an idea,” Mary says, leaning across her desk, “and please tell me if I’m out of line here, okay?” I nod at her. “Why don’t you ask your Aunt Sally to move in to your place, and you move out? You could get your own place or finally leave New York. You’re dying to get away from here, for years now.”

Hmmm, this is a new idea. “My aunt loves her house in Connecticut even though every room is filled with junk. I’m not sure she’d be willing to part with it.”

“It might be time to move on.” Mary snaps her moleskine shut and picks up her bag. “Nothing lasts forever.”

I stand up and hand Mary her jacket. “Will you be back in the office after this meeting?”

“Nah. It’s across town, and I doubt we’ll be done before six.”

“Okay. Call me if you need anything.” I follow her out of her office, and, as I sit down at my desk, she runs back over.

 
“I know! If you want to date locally, what about Charlie, the guy who comes in with the ad agency to do work for us?”

Charlie is “my type” which is not my type at all since I had that enlightening conversation with Lee. Funny that Lee has met me in person once, talked to me four times, and figured that out faster than my last therapist did.

“He seems nice, I guess.”

“He’s always asking about you. Sorry. I’m so busy I forget to tell you.”

I shift in my seat, crossing my legs the other direction, and take a sip of my coffee. “It’s okay. I shouldn’t date a vendor anyway.” I set the cup down on the desk and almost knock it over trying to rearrange everything in front of me into one perfect line. My leg bounces at double-time, knocking my trash basket into the metal filing cabinet next to it.
Thump, thump, thump. Get a grip, Laura.

I don’t want to date Charlie. I want to date Lee.
 

But Lee lives seven thousand miles away, and it’s not like we’ve said we’d be exclusive or anything.

“Oh, Laura, it’s no big deal. Seriously. I’ll mention it next time I see him.”

“No.” I jump forward, almost spilling my coffee on my notebook. “No, Mary. It’s okay.”

“Are you sure?” Her eyebrows lift into her straight, blond bangs.

“Yes. I’m fine for now. Thanks.” I’d rather have this long-distance relationship with Lee than date someone here that won’t work out and just ruin Lee’s trust.

She smiles at me and winks. “This Lee has caught you big time.” She turns and waves at me as she runs down the hall towards the elevators. Mary is always running in the office, and we make fun of her by buying her running shoes for every occasion. It’s an office joke thing.

I let out a sigh, pulling my curled hair back, twisting it a few times and letting go. Am I crazy to want to commit to someone so far away? Someone I haven’t even slept with yet? What if we get together in the flesh and our sexual chemistry totally fizzles? Stranger things have happened.

I need a second opinion. Actually, third opinion. Theresa likes the idea of Lee a lot. She wants me to come over later this week and cook for her so she can ask me about our FaceTime dates.

Laura Merchant

Hey, Justin. Wanna go see a movie tonight?

Justin Taylor

Sure. What should we see?

Laura Merchant

The Hunger Games? I hear it’s good.

Justin Taylor

Ok. Blood, guts, and romance. My favorite.
 

(>’o’)> ♥ <(‘o’<)

Justin and I share a large popcorn for dinner. People who go to the movies, eat popcorn, and then eat dinner after are abnormal.

“So, what’s up? It’s been a month since I last saw you.” Justin is just the kind of guy I used to go for: tall, messy brown hair that turns gold in the summer, fit, and a stylish dresser. Of course, he’s as gay as a lark. Everyone I introduce him to falls in love with him, but he always falls for the boys who break his heart. He’s currently single too but has a more recent track record to look back on. Before sitting down, he pulls off his black coat and underneath is a graphic t-shirt that must be from a European country (I can’t tell which) under a button-down black shirt with his sleeves rolled up, dark jeans, and red Converse. I’m always amazed with the wardrobe he sports. Being in the creative field, he can do no wrong.

“There was a time when we saw each other everyday. I miss seeing you at work.” I push his jacket down into the seat next to me before he sits down. Justin used to work at HBO too before he moved over to a competing network. He was my work boyfriend and still comes out for drinks on Thursday nights when he can. “I met someone, Justin, and I need your opinion.”

“Oh no.” He turns his phone on silent and slips it in his pocket. We have about twenty minutes before the show starts and the theater is only half full for a Wednesday night, even though the movie came out a week ago. “If you need my opinion, then there must be something weird about him. Bring him out one night and I’ll point my gaydar at him. We’ll rule that out first.” Justin thinks he can spot fellow gay boys at a mile off. I can’t argue with him because so far he’s been right every single time.

“I can’t bring him by. I wish I could.”

My phone buzzes in my bag.

Lee Park

I’m up early for a conference call. How are you, gorgeous?

A blush erupts on my neck as Justin leans over to look at my text. Lee calls me gorgeous in all texts now and it’s stupid how much I love it.

Laura Merchant

I’m at the movies with my friend, Justin. Can I text you later?

Lee Park

Of course.

I turn on the Do Not Disturb function and slip my iPhone back in my bag. Justin is turned towards me, his eyebrows raised and waiting.

“So, I was at Blue Bar on a Thursday when you all stood me up, and I met this guy, Lee. So not my type — Korean American — but super handsome, and nice, and we have tons in common. We went out on a date the next night, and it was perfect, Justin. The date to end all dates. He even kissed me at the end of the night, and that was perfect too…” My voice trails off remembering how he tasted, his hands on my face, and how I held him around his waist. He was so warm despite how cold it was outside.

“He doesn’t live here?” Justin sits back in his chair

“No. He lives in Seoul. How did you know?”

Justin points at my phone. “He’s up early for a conference call, and it’s evening here. I used my keen powers of deduction.”

“What do I dooooooooo, Justin?” I double over and put my face in my hands. “I wonder if I’m crazy for wanting a relationship with him. And I do, really, want a relationship with him. I like him a lot, and I’m pretty sure he likes me too.”

“Then what’s the problem?” he asks. I sit up and widen my eyes at him. “Well, besides the distance?”

“Do I have to spell it out? Justin, I haven’t had sex in over two years. It’ll be three years in October.” A snicker erupts behind me, and I turn around and make eye contact with two boys in their late teens. “Mind your own business.” They go back to eating their popcorn and looking at their phones.

“Okay, I see your point,” he says, patting me on my knee. “A travesty for sure. But if you like him and he likes you, then you should keep at it. This would be no big deal if you were five years younger. Everyone in the generation behind us has online relationships, I swear. I have a friend who only sees her boyfriend every few months and they get it on on Skype constantly.”

“Oh god. I’m not doing that.”

“Why not? Laura, live a little. You used to be a lot more carefree. Rene really fucked you up good.”

I take back the monster bag of popcorn and eat from it silently. Rene fucked me up and fucked me over. I never wanted to trust a guy again after him. But now there’s Lee.

“I honestly don’t know what to do, Justin,” I whisper at him. “If I didn’t have Mom living with me, I would be on a flight to Seoul right now.”

Justin nods and pats my knee again. “That’s good. The impulsive and fun Laura who I used to know is coming back. You buried her pretty deep. Stop hogging the popcorn.”

I hand it back before he starts getting bitchy with me.

“Our date was impulsive. We made decisions on the fly, and he took it all in stride. It was fantastic.” I sit back and stare at the lights in the ceiling. “But Justin, I thought Rene was fantastic, too, remember? He swept me off my feet… and then he threw me back on the floor and kicked me while I was down.”

“I doubt anyone could be as much of a prick as Rene was, Laura, and your father is no longer around to cause trouble. This is the time for you to do whatever you want.” He pokes me in the arm. “A new life, Laura. It can be yours.”

“That’s sweet, but no. Still got Mom to worry about. You know I can’t just leave. She’ll change the locks on me and then I’ll be forced out and wondering what she’ll do next. Will she spend all her money on some scam or break up with her boyfriend and have another nervous breakdown? I’m saddled with her for life.”

Justin sits quietly next to me, and when I glance at him, the pity he feels for me is plain on his face. Because, really, this
could
be my life — lonely, bored, and living with my mother forever. Lee and I could fizzle out, never speak again, and I would just keep plugging on because I have no other choice.

My eyes fill with tears before I understand where my brain has taken me, straight to my grave with no one to love.

“Shit, Laura. Sorry.” Justin slides his hand into mine. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

The lights dim in the theater, the trailers come on, and drown me out. I squeeze Justin’s hand and let go to take back the popcorn.

“Look. Forget about your mom for now. Keep this thing going with Lee, if that’s what you want. Buy some sexy underwear and send him photos. Talk dirty to him. I’m sure he’ll love it.”

“You’re crazy.” I laugh and wipe my face with a napkin.

“You’re not crazy enough. I’ve been meaning to say this to you for a long time, and now’s my perfect chance.” He turns in his seat, putting his hand on my arm in the way he has of assuring his friends he’s listening and cares. Justin is a kind-hearted soul. “It’s time to get out of New York. You hate it here.”

“Theresa said the same thing…”

“Well, you know I have all the love in the world for Theresa…” He does not. They are constantly at each other’s throats. I hardly ever do anything with both of them anymore. “But she’s right. Your mom doesn’t give two shits about you and what you want or she would have moved out ages ago and let you have your life back. Pack your bags and get the heck out. You belong out in the world, exploring and living.”

“But…”

“No buts. Regardless of whether anything works out with this guy, you need to go. I’ve seen the way you talk about your time abroad. You miss it.”

I nod my head as the lights dim further for the main feature. “Maybe you’re right…”

“Of course, I’m right,” he whispers. “You’ll do it and you’ll be happy because I told you so.”

(>’o’)> ♥ <(‘o’<)

Lee Park

How was the movie?

Laura Merchant

It was good. I enjoyed it. Really, I see movies so rarely now and I used to go all the time that this was a treat.

Lee Park

I hardly go to the theater either. All the movies seem the same.

Laura Merchant

I’m fed up with Hollywood.
 

I’m sick of them recycling the same stories over and over.
 

It’s annoying.

And then they pick all the good books to make into movies and ruin them.
 

They did a passable job with this one.

Lee Park

Have you ever thought about what you’d be doing if David were still alive and you graduated school wanting to continue in English? Write?

Laura Merchant

…

I’d love to write again.

But now I have no idea what I want. Except to leave New York.

Lee Park

If you left New York, how would I find you?

Laura Merchant

You would be my first stop :)

Lee Park

:) Good.
 

So, are you going to check out the Korean films at Korea Society?

Laura Merchant

Yes. And I have some K-drama queued up on Netflix, too.
 

Hey, my first language class is next week.
 

I’m excited!!!!!!!!!

Lee Park

That’s a lot of exclamation points.