Fade into Always (5 page)

The pressure was intense, a great feeling of being filled. His cock stroked along my inner walls and having his thumb there maximized the sensation.

I was hopeless to hold off. I just couldn’t stop myself. I felt the spasms in my abdomen. They came quickly and fiercely, and so did I.

And I felt the warm slickness of Max’s semen pumping into me.

“God, Liv…you drive me crazy in every way…"

NINE

My parents arrived the next afternoon with Grace and the baby, my newest niece. The older one stayed at home with my brother-in-law because she had come down with a cold at the last minute. Grace almost didn’t come because of that, but felt okay about it when her mother-in-law came to stay at their house for a few days.

They drove from Ohio so they were all tired by the time they got to their hotel. It was only ten minutes from my apartment and I headed over there when Grace called to say Dad was getting them checked into the rooms.

We sat around for a while and the focus was mostly on the baby, of course. I couldn’t believe how different she looked after having not seen her for just a few months.

Dad was sitting in a chair and nodding off, but snapped awake when the subject of food came up.

We decided to keep it simple and cheap, and just went to a chain restaurant.

“People drive like crazy around here,” Dad said.

Mom agreed and said it was probably the drugs.

“They have drugs in Ohio, you know,” I said.

Dad shot me a look like I was still a kid and should be quiet instead of pointing out a simple fact that didn’t fall in line with my parents’ predetermined opinion.

“We’re only here for a few days,” Grace said. “Can we not argue?” Ever the diplomat, but I knew she agreed with them. She’d followed their path in life and thought like they did, but we still had that sisterly bond that no one could break and if she had any plans to give me grief about leaving Ohio, she’d wait until we were alone.

After dinner we drove around LA for a little while. Grace wanted to see more of the city, and I think my mom did as well, though she reluctantly took Grace’s side when my dad said it was dark and we wouldn’t be able to see anything.

“Dad, this whole city is lights,” Grace said.

Dad came up with another reason not to ride around. “Well, it’s getting kind of late.”

“It’s 7:40,” Mom said. “With the time difference, it’s not even five o’clock to us.”

Dad sighed. “All right, but we’re keeping the windows up and the doors locked.”

Grace and I looked at each other in the backseat and rolled our eyes.

Later, back at the hotel, we were all in my parents’ room. Grace and the baby were staying in an adjacent room, and the two were linked by a door.

This is when Dad started his pitch in earnest, telling me I should really think about coming home, there was plenty to do there in the way of work, that’s where my friends were, etc. And, just for added guilt, he said, “What would you do if something happened to one of us?”

“What do you mean?”

Dad shrugged. “An accident. One of us gets sick. Anything. You’re so far away.”

“It doesn’t take long by plane,” I said.

“That’s not cheap.”

He was right, of course. It wasn’t cheap to get a ticket for a flight from LA to Ohio on short notice. What he didn’t know, and what I couldn’t tell them, was that I wouldn’t have to buy a ticket. Max would fly me home in a heartbeat.

He dropped the issue, probably just thinking of his next line of attack. Mom had stayed silent while Dad and I discussed the distance issue, but when she picked up when he stopped.

“You haven’t been back to Las Vegas, I hope?”

“I go there every weekend.”

Mom looked at me in shock. Dad cut his eyes at me.

“I’m kidding,” I said.

Grace handed me the baby, who looked at me and smiled. I smiled back, thinking how nice it was to have at least one relative who wasn’t judging me.

“They’re just worried about you,” Grace said a little later.

“I know, but it gets old.”

“I’m worried about you, too, you know. Especially after that whole thing with Chris.”

“He’s gone,” I said. “And I doubt he’ll be back.”

We were in the adjacent hotel room. Mom and Dad had gone to bed, the baby was asleep, and it was getting close to 11:00.

“I know you are, but seriously, Grace, wouldn’t you rather be here? I mean, you saw the city. There’s never a boring minute here.”

“Maybe I like boring.”

That couldn’t be more true. And it couldn’t have made me more sad for her. Yes, I was being judgmental, but I’d been on the receiving end of judgment myself for too long.

Grace said, “So, what’s up with Krystal?”

Jesus. What a topic. One that I didn’t want to talk about. One that would only confirm that she and my parents were right about this probably being a bad scene for me. One that would give them the wrong impression about how wonderful things were really going when you considered everything with Max.

I said, “I hardly ever see her. She’s always working at that restaurant or going to casting calls.” There. I lied. But I had to. And it worked. She moved on to something else.

“What do you do when you’re not working?” she asked.

I could have answered truthfully with the one-liner that popped into my head:
When I’m not working, I do Max.
But that was a little joke I had to keep to myself.

I gave her a generic response—hanging out with friends, still trying to see all of the city and the surrounds, going to the gym….

“Have you met any boys yet?”

Boys.

I must have hesitated just slightly too long because I clearly gave away the answer.

We were lying on the bed. I was on my back, she was on her stomach, and when she sensed I had something juicy to tell, she flipped over on her side to face me.

“Ohhh, you have. Do tell.”

So I told. Even about the trip to Napa. But not about New York.

“And…remember when I told you that someone saved me from Chris that night at my apartment door?”

“Yeah. A neighbor, but…it was this guy?”

I nodded.

“Wow.”

“I know. And I’m sorry I lied to you about him.”

“Don’t worry about it. So, what movies has he done?”

I told her, and she recognized a couple of them. She liked one of them so much, she had a DVD of it at home.

She was silent for a moment. Then another, “Wow,” but this time softer, like she was trying to imagine what it would be like to live her younger sister’s life. “You look happy, but…you kind of also don’t.”

Shit. She could read me well.

“It’s just that I’m pretty sure he’s serious about me, but I’m afraid that I feel more than he does. You know?”

“Have you brought it up with him?”

“Oh, God no.”

“Why not?”

I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. When I thought about this, my chest got tight and my stomach churned.

“I don’t want to push things too fast,” I said.

She nodded. “So, have you slept with him?”

“Yes.” I closed my eyes.

“Then it’s serious.”

Sometimes Grace could be really rational and insightful. Sometimes she could be really naïve. And sometimes she could be both of those things at almost the same time.

“I don’t know,” I said.

“What does he look like?”

I got my phone out of my bag to do a Google Image search. I’d had it on mute all night, and when I swiped the screen I saw that I had missed a text from Max.

It read:
I’m coming to get you.

“Hang on,” I said to Olivia. “Have to text somebody back.”

“Him?”

“Yeah.”

I texted:
What!?

Max:
That was a joke and it was two hours ago.

Me:
You couldn’t find me anyway.

Max:
You underestimate me.

Me:
I know. It’s a bad habit.

Max:
Please keep doing it. Makes it easier to impress you.

Me:
So you weren’t really coming to get me?

Max:
No. My dreams will have to suffice tonight.

Me:
Awwww.

Max:
Did you just see a puppy?

Me:
What?

Max:
‘Awwww’? People say that when they see a puppy or a baby. I was hoping you would say ‘I’ll make it up to you’.

Me:
I’ll make it up to you.

Max:
Awwww.

Me:
Haha! I have to get back to talking to my sister. By the smile on my face she might assume the worst.

Max:
She’d be smart to.
Talk to you tomorrow. Miss you.

Me:
Me too.

I closed the texts and pulled up the browser, went to Google Images and found a picture of Max.

“Here. This is him.”

I handed her my phone.

She looked at the picture, then looked at me, then back at the picture. “Get out of here. You’re seeing this hottie?”

I raised my eyebrows. “Gee, thanks.”

“No, no. I didn’t mean it like that.” She burst out laughing. “That came out wrong. It’s just…wow, he’s gorgeous.”

“And nice, and funny, and kind-hearted, generous, interesting, exciting, creative—”

She interrupted: “Honest?”

“Yeah. Well, except for this one thing.” I told her about Liza Carrow.

“I see why he didn’t tell you right away, though.”

“I know. I wasn’t fair to him when it happened. But we’re past that.”

She handed the phone back to me. “Hate to say this, but I’m jealous.”

“Oh, stop.”

“He’s no Brian. Speaking of which, I need to call and see how things are going there.”

While she made her call, I looked at Max’s picture, then at the texts we’d just exchanged. Damnit, I had fallen hard for him, and I was so in love there was no turning back.

I went into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth while she finished up her call. I was starting to get tired and couldn’t wait to get to sleep. With all the talk of Max, though, combined with a little talk of Chris, and the random way my fears reared their ugly head, I hoped I wouldn’t have one of those nightmares again while I slept in the same room with my sister.

TEN

The next morning, we all ate at a nice restaurant that served a great breakfast. My dad said it was too expensive a place to eat, and when I said I was buying, we spent the next ten minutes with him and my mom arguing that I “can’t” and then “shouldn’t have to” pay for all of us to eat when we could grab something quick at a fast-food place.

I won the debate, mostly because I just started walking into the place and Grace followed.

After breakfast my parents wanted to see where I worked.
Gulp
. I hadn’t even thought about that. Later the night before, after Grace got off the phone with her husband, I told her the rest of what was going on with me: quitting the job, but soon working with Max. She promised not to say anything to my parents. Luckily, it was a Saturday, so all we had to do was drive by the building and I pointed while saying, “That’s it. Just a regular building.”

Whew
.

We spent the better part of the afternoon taking a tour of Universal Studios. It was something I hadn’t done yet since coming to LA, so I didn’t mind doing something so “touristy.”

I got to push the stroller around for a while and at one point when my parents and Grace went to use the restrooms, I sat on a bench in the shade, alone with my baby niece. People—mostly women and girls—stopped by and cooed at her, telling me how beautiful she was. I just thanked them, not telling them she wasn’t mine.

I’d never even thought about being a mother before. Certainly not like my own mother had, and not even like Grace had. But that was the first time I’d experienced anything resembling the desire to have a child. Definitely a strange feeling for me.

I got a text from Max:
Let me treat your family to dinner.

Me:
Well, hello to you to.

Max:
Hey there, dream girl.

I smiled at that, but it didn’t last long. He wanted to take my family out for dinner?

Me:
We talked about this. Not ready.

Max:
I don’t have to be there. Let me make reservations at a nice place. You take them.

Me:
Where is this coming from?

Max:
I just want to do something nice for you. And for them.

I sighed and thought about what I’d write back. It was a very generous offer, and I wasn’t surprised by it, considering that’s just how Max was. But I really did think he was trying to angle his way into meeting them.

Me:
Why do you want to meet them so bad?

Max:
Because they’re your family. But I don’t have to. Just let me set this up.

Me:
Are you sure?

Max:
Yes, but you have to promise me one thing.

Me:
Oh God. Does it involve handcuffs?

Max:
I hadn’t thought of that, but we can try.

Me:
Ha! Seriously. What is it?

Max:
You’ll come with me to meet my mom.

Shit. He was really pushing this. How often does a guy insist on meeting your family and you meeting his? He was clearly serious about us. It showed in his actions, but for some reason, not his words. Several times I had to hold myself back from blurting out the fact that I was in love with him but had thankfully spared myself the potential embarrassment and, worse, abandonment. I was sure it would be too much for him, too soon.

But all this family meeting stuff… Maybe I just needed to let him go at his own pace. He had walls. High walls. Maybe even higher than mine. But those walls were coming down, and for the first time in a while I was giving him a peek over my barrier. He was letting me over his, too. Maybe I’d let him take the lead on the timing of all this.