Fair and Tender Ladies (18 page)

So I met Miss Torrington in the schoolroom Tuesday last, after school.

She was very stern. Her face seemed carved in pure white marble, she wore a black dress. Now Ivy, she said. Christmastime approaches as you know.

Yessum, I said.

Say,
Yes Miss Torrington,
when will you learn to drop these backward customs? Miss Torrington said. For you are fast becoming a lady.

Yes Miss Torrington,
I said.

She smiled. Her smile looked like a carved smile on a marble angel. And all of a sudden Silvaney I recalled the Christmas before Daddy died and how me and Ethel made angels in the snow. It seems so long ago! It seems almost like other people! For I am a town girl, a smart girl, and almost a lady.

Miss Torrington clasped her hands behind her back and walked across the schoolroom, her skirts went swish swish, swish swish, and the radiators went hiss, hiss.

Now Ivy, she said, I have some things to say to you and I want you to listen carefully and hear me out. In all my years of teaching in bording schools and colleges and churches, I confess that I have never come across a girl so remarkably tallented, so extrordinarily gifted in language. I feel it is a
sin,
Ivy, a great sin, if we do not use our tallents that God has given us, if we do not live up to our potenshal. In some ways it may be the greatest sin of all.

Miss Torrington quivered all over when she said,
Sin.

Then she went on, And I confess to you I feel that God has sent me here to save you Ivy, to offer you a life which will enable you to use your gifts to his glory.

Amen, I said all of a sudden, without meaning to, it just came out, and Miss Torrington narrowed her eyes.

Laugh if you will then, she said, and I said, Oh no Miss Torrington, I was not making fun, I did not even mean to speak and please excuse me. I dont know what come over me, I said.

Miss Torrington stood up then very straight. This is precisely the point, Ivy Rowe! she said. Her voice was shaking. You need guidance, a firm hand. You do
not
know what comes over you, truer words were never spoken. You are buffeted about by evry wind that blows my dear, I can not stand by and see this happen.

See what happen? I asked then, for I did not understand what she meant.

Ah Ivy, Miss Torrington said. Do you think I am blind as well? I see you engaged in a flirtation which might very well end in disaster, for he is not suitable, your Lonnie Rash, nor is he your equal in any way. Deny this if you can.

And I had to hang my head and bite my lip then Silvaney, for what she said was so, and even Ethel has advised me aginst making eyes at Lonnie Rash. And yet the thought of his warm brown cheek came to me even then, even there in the schoolroom, I confess it. I walked to the window and stared at the snow. I could not look at Miss Torrington.

She said, Your mother has abdicated her duty it seems, and the less said about that paragon of virtue Miss Hunt, the better.

I opened my mouth and closed it agian. I could not say a thing. Snow blew into the windowpanes, no two flakes alike. But she went on.

I feel that you have been given to me by God as a sacred responsibillity, Miss Torrington said behind me. I am perhaps espeshally suited to help you fulfill your destiny, Ivy. I can educate you, I can dress you, I can take you to Europe. For there is everything, everything, to learn! I am a woman of some means, Ivy. I can give you the world.

A shock run all through me then Silvaney, at her words. It had grown nearly dark.

Miss Torrington continued, I could feel her breth soft as a whisper on my neck. And it would give me such enormous pleasure, she said. For it appears certain by now that I will never mary, nor bear a child, and yet I have so much to give a child, espeshally a young lady. Oh Ivy, do say yes!

I watched the snow.

When Miss Torrington spoke again, her voice was light. Just keep this in mind dear, she said. I depart for Boston in three days, my trunk has gone now, as you know. My report is finished.

I know, I said. I will think about it.

Together we went to the cloakroom and got our coats and our hats, and Miss Torrington got her lether gloves. I waited in the snow while she locked the door behind us.
Now,
she said and put the key in her purse and took my arm and we walked the short way back to the bordinghouse. My mind whirled around and around like the snowflakes around the gaslights. I thought of sliding on the frozen river in the snow, and of the lady sisters skimming home across the snow after they had told their stories, I thought of the story of White bear Whittington, and then I thought of all the stories I dont know yet, of books and books full of stories in Boston. I immagined their lether bindings and their deep rich covers and the pretty swirling paper inside the covers, like the snow. But to think of the lady sisters put me in mind of Granny Rowe and Tenessee, which made me feel bad.

For Granny Rowe came to town a day or so ago to sell sang which she does every winter, and Tenessee with her, and after they sold it to Mister Branham and said hello to Ethel, they came over to the school to see me. I was standing at the door, talking to Miss Maynard.

Lord God, how ye doing honey,
Granny said, and I confess that for a minute I drew back, for here was Granny smoking her pipe and wearing her old mans hat, and Tenessee behind her giggling and clutching that filthy dirty crazy bead purse. I drew back. For all of a sudden they seemed to me strange people out of another time, I could not breth.

Excuse me, Miss Maynard said, and left.

And then I hugged them both and walked them back to the bordinghouse to see Momma and Geneva and have some coffee and vinegar pie, and did not think twice about it. But I was thinking now, walking with Miss Torrington. And I was ashamed of myself. And I thought, If I go to Boston, I will not see them, nor Beulahs new baby, nor Ethel grinning behind that big cash register in Stoney Branhams store, nor see my little momma any more, and I pictured her there in her rocking chair. Nor will I see Silvaney agian I thought, who is dearest to my hart, the one that I cannot picture at all having never been there to the Elizabeth Masters Home. Oh Silvaney! sometimes I think I made you up to suit me!

Me and Miss Torrington walked arm and arm through the snow, and then we were at the bordinghouse, where light spilled out the windows and shaddows moved behind the curtians in the sitting room. And one of the curtians moved and I thought it must be Lonnie Rash, looking for me. It was nearly suppertime.

The front door opened with a pop, and Geneva stuck her head out.

Ivy, is that you? she hollered.

Yessum, I said.

Well, where the hell have you been, get your ass right on in the kitchen this minute, we have got some extra company here that is stuck in the snow, Geneva yelled and slammed the door.

Miss Torrington and I paused by the foot of the stairs.

From someplace upstairs came a womans high pitched giggle and then a slamming door.

In her long dark coat, Miss Torrington looked very tall. Her thin pale face beneath the fur brim of her hat seemed pinched and white. Yet she was pretty. Oh yes, I thought then, oh yes the Ice Queen, and I remembered Mrs. Brown and all her books from long ago. Miss Torringtons hat was dusted with snow. She smiled.

I will come,
I said all of sudden. My answer is YES, I said, and then we walked together up the stairs and crossed the porch and went inside.

I served dinner and dared not look at Lonnie Rash who starred at me. Tomorrow I will tell him, I said to myself. Tomorrow.

But oh Silvaney, I did not, for you will not belive what happened next!

We had extra places set at dinner for all the people who had got stranded in the snow, and it was a jolly table, everybody laughing. This was Miss Torrington, Miss Maynard, glummy little Mister Sledge, Geneva and Momma, Lonnie Rash and three other young men who are bording here now, Judge Brack, Miss Hazel Ridge who has come here from Roanoke to settle a estate, Mister Wiley a lawyer from out of town, and a man and a wife and his grown son from Lynchburg originally, who were motoring to Kentucky.

That is what the wife said when Judge Brack asked her where they were from, she said From Lynchburg originally. She was very fancy and I kept looking at her and thinking, Now is she a lady? And will I be like that? But finely Silvaney I decided she is not a lady, instead she is only rich. She ate in very little bites and acted too good for everybody else, but after while her husband and Judge Brack got to saying limmericks, and she had to laugh. For there is something about being inside around a table with good food on it and other people, while the wind is blowing outside and the snow is falling down, that will bring everbody together in spite of theirselves.

Only Miss Torrington did not relly join in, this is normal for her though, but even she looked happy with her white cheeks flushed pink from walking through the cold outside or else from Genevas hot potato soup. The pink spots on Miss Torringtons cheeks looked like they had been painted there. She said scarcely a word, but bunched up her lips from time to time as if to keep back a smile, and I could tell that she was pleased as punch that I had said yes and that I would be going back up to Boston with her.

I guess I will have to get used to the snow, I thought. They will be plenty of snow in Boston all right. I tried to immagine the State House or the Old North Church in snow, and to think that I would go there. Immagine, I thought, me Ivy Rowe in Boston!

Ivy are you feeling well? Geneva asked me and I said Yesm, just fine thanks, and she said Well then for gods sake pay a little more attention to what your doing, and I said Yesm. I could not immagine telling Momma or Geneva or Lonnie Rash.

Ivy, pay attention! Geneva said.

And then finely supper was over and Lonnie Rash follered me into the kitchen and said, Whats the matter Ivy? and I said, I will see you later. And Geneva and Judge Brack sang Alexanders Ragtime Band in the sitting room while little Johnny played the piano, he is getting to be a pretty good hand at this, he is learning it down at Hazels Entertainment from Blind Bill Smith, where Miss Torrington says he should not be allowed to go. Ludie and me and Mrs. Crouse did the dishes.

When we were finely done I walked back in the sitting room, thinking now I must speak to Momma and Geneva about all of this, but I did not because there was Miss Torrington waiting for me. Usually she leaves the group and retires to her room as she says right after dinner. But that night she stood with her back to the rest of them, watching it snow out Genevas front window, she turned when I came and said
Ivy,
only that, but the way she said it given me kind of a start. It was like she owned me.

But then she gave me a nice warm smile and said, while the rest of them were singing Shenandoah, that she was too wrought up to go right to sleep and consequently she thought it might be a good night for us to begin our drawing lesson.

And I said,
Oh yes
immediately, for this was something I had been hoping for. So we went up the stairs to her room while the rest of them were singing, I could feel Lonnie Rashes brown eyes burning holes in my back. I did not turn around ether.

I had never been in Miss Torringtons room, which is the large one in the front, right over the sitting room. It was neat as a pin. Miss Torrington was very businesslike. She moved her books and papers to clear a space at the writing table, and then from the wardrobe she took a lether box and opened it to reveal drawing pencils of every shade in the rainbow, it took my breth away! She layed the box open on the table, and come back with some thick white paper. Now then my dear, she said, and drew up the rooms two chairs to the table, and pulled the lamp over closer to us. She took a deep breth then picked up one of the pencils, charcole gray.

Now then Ivy, she said, and she began to draw, and in no time flat her page was filled. Roses in a bowl, a horse, a house, a mountain, a girl who looked like me. Her pencil moved so fast on the paper I could not see it move.

How do you do this? I said, How do you make the mountain seem so far away.

Ah, said Miss Torrington, That is perspective. You will need to learn perspective, Ivy Rowe.

Now,
she said, and gave me a gray pencil like her own. Like this, she said, and we began. She drew, and I copied her lines, and the minutes flew past. We drew a house. Downstairs they were singing Alexanders Ragtime Band agian, I could hear Geneva belting it out and another high loud voice that I thought belonged to the woman who was from Lynchburg originally. We drew a tree. Yes, Miss Torrington murmured. Yes. I was very exited. Very good, Miss Torrington said. Now you just continue, and she stood behind me as I continued.

At first I was not even aware of her standing there, I was so wrapped up in what I was doing, putting more gray on one side of the tree to show that was the shade. Oh yes, she said, Exactly, and as she leaned over my sholder to look, I felt her breth on my neck. She rested her hand on my sholder. Like this, she said, and took my pencil for a minute and began to shade the tree, and then I saw how and she gave me back my pencil and I continued.

And then, Silvaney, Miss Torrington kissed my neck! I froze, Silvaney, right there with my pencil above the tree. I could not breth, I could not think what to do, but while I was still thinking it seemed, I found myself jumping up from there and in my haste I knocked over the chair and bumped the table so that all the drawing pencils went flying to the floor. And I flung the charcole drawing pencil across the room as hard as ever I could.

Miss Torrington sank down on her bed with her mouth in a wide round O. Oh what have I done? she said, and her hands flew up to her face and she started crying. I think she was just as surprised as me. Oh Ivy please forgive me, she said but I could not see her face.