Faithful to Laura (21 page)
She nodded. “I’ll have my own way to work tomorrow.”
“No, I’ll pick you up.”
“Sawyer, I’ll walk. You need to work things out with your
familye
.”
“Nothing’s changed. We both have to work tomorrow.”
“Your grandmother’s here.”
His eyes narrowed. “Like I said, nothing’s changed. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Laura climbed out of the truck. As usual, he waited until she got inside. She peered out the window as he drove away.
Nothing has changed
.
She’d just told him about Mark. Not everything she planned to do, but more than she’d ever thought she’d tell another soul.
Oh, Sawyer. Can’t you see? Everything has changed
.
Emma gripped her umbrella as she trudged through the rain to Adam’s house. The umbrella shielded most of her body, but the bottom of her dress was soaked. She didn’t care about her dripping hem or the cold, wet wind whipping at her. Her only thought was Adam.
Grossmammi
was right. She’d kept them both waiting too long.
She knocked on the door, folded the umbrella, and leaned it against the side of the house. The Ottos’ small front porch roof sheltered her from the downpour. But it didn’t shield her from the chill seeping through to her skin.
The door opened. Adam’s eyes widened. “Emma.”
She didn’t say anything for a moment. Their gazes met, and the chill disappeared. She loved him so much; she could forgive him anything. Now she had to be honest with him, and herself.
“You’re shaking. Come inside.” He opened the door wider.
But she didn’t move forward. She hugged her arms around her body. She didn’t want to risk his parents being there. What she had to say was for Adam’s ears only. “Can I talk to you privately?”
“The living room.
Mamm
and
Daed
are both upstairs.”
She shook her head. “We need to be alone.”
His brow lifted. He shut the door. “The barn?”
Emma nodded. She reached for her umbrella, but he grabbed it before she could. He opened it and put his arm around her shoulders. They rushed to the barn. Despite the cover, they were almost soaked through.
“Just a minute.” He went to the wall where a lantern hung on a peg. Next to it was a matchbox holder nailed to the wall. The moment he lit the lantern, the barn glowed with a dim amber light.
She tried not to shiver, but she couldn’t help it. Behind her she could hear the horses stirring. The barn was warmer than the front porch, but not by much.
“Emma, you’re freezing.” He went to her, rubbed his hands up and down her arms. A droplet of water ran down the side of his face. “We should have gone inside the house.”
His touch warmed her just as much as his nearness. For the past few weeks they had come so far in their relationship. She felt secure with him. Cherished. Then he had told her about Ashley, and everything changed again. She was tired of it. And only after speaking with her grandmother did Emma accept her own blame.
She put her hands over his and removed them from her arms.
He closed his eyes, his lips pressing inward. When he opened them, she could see his pain.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
The pain changed to confusion. “You’re sorry? I’m the one who messed up.”
“You made a mistake.”
“Ya,”
he said. “A big one.”
“And I shouldn’t have made you feel worse because of it.”
Adam moved closer to Emma. Already she felt the tension draining from her body.
“You didn’t make it worse for me. I did that myself. I just hope you understand how much I regret being with her. But it’s not only that.”
Emma steeled herself. “What do you mean?”
“I was unfair to Ashley too. I did care for her at one time.” He looked down at the strands of hay strewn on the barn floor. “I took advantage of her, and I shouldn’t have.” Adam looked at Emma again. “I won’t have the opportunity to tell her I’m sorry. But I can make it up to you.”
“You don’t have to. That relationship is in the past. Let it stay there.”
“The wedding—” A flash of uncertainty crossed his face.
“Is it still on?”
She wiped a raindrop off his forehead and brought her lips to his. “It never was off,” she said.
She stepped into his embrace and leaned her ear against his chest, feeling his heartbeat race. She felt him kiss her temple, just below the edge of her
kapp
.
When they drew apart, Emma’s smile dimmed. There was only one thing that stood in the way of their happiness. “Your parents.”
“What about them?”
“Do you think they’ll come to accept our marriage?”
Adam rubbed his thumb against her cheek. “They don’t have a choice. Whatever is going on between them, we can’t let it affect our life together.” He traced the edge of her jaw before letting his hand fall to his side.
Emma nodded. She trembled again. Adam grinned. She could see he was willing to draw her back into his arms.
She was eager to accept him. Too eager. “Adam . . .”
“I know. You have to
geh
home.” He sighed and stepped back. “Soon enough it will be our home. I hope.”
“What do you mean?”
“With everything going on, we haven’t talked about where we’re going to live after we’re married.” He put his hands in his pockets. “I thought I would move in with you and Leona, if that’s all right with you. I could still work with
mei daed
, and take care of you and your
grossmammi
.”
“The
haus
would stay in the
familye
.”
“That’s the idea.”
“She’d like that.” Emma smiled.
“And you?”
“I like it too.”
“I was hoping you’d agree. Makes everything easier. I’ll be close to work, the
kinner
will be near their grandparents.” His honey-colored eyes twinkled. “It’s what I get for marrying the
maedel
next door.”
Giddiness made her move toward him. She caught herself. If she stayed here much longer . . .
“I need to get back home.”
Adam drew her into his arms one more time. She didn’t resist.
“I can’t wait until you’re
mei fraa
,” he said.
“It won’t be long.”
“It will be long enough.”
Sawyer pulled his truck into his driveway, parked, and turned the engine off. He leaned his head against the steering wheel. It was hard to absorb everything he’d just learned—not only about Cora Easely, but about Laura.
She and Mark were involved. He felt a pinch of jealousy at that. And more than a pinch of anger. The man’s cruelty knew no bounds. He’d not only used her, but stolen from her and permanently scarred her.
Sawyer understood her anger, her desire for justice. But couldn’t she see how impossible it would be to pay her parents back? He was certain they’d rather have Laura there with them than the money.
Yet he had seen her determination. Nothing he said would change her mind. And he wasn’t exactly thinking straight himself right now.
He sat up and looked toward the house, the outline dim in the dark, pelted by a few lingering droplets of rain. He didn’t want to go inside and face Cora. Then again, he couldn’t leave his parents to deal with her.
He exhaled and opened the door. The sudden rainstorm had stopped, leaving a damp chill hanging in the air. He stood at the back door, which led to the kitchen. Paused before turning the knob. Then did something he hadn’t done in a long time, except superficially, when it was expected.
He prayed.
God, help me. I don’t know what to do. Please .
. .
He couldn’t finish the prayer. He didn’t know what to ask. Didn’t know what to do. Didn’t know anything.
Sawyer removed his muddy shoes in the small room just off the kitchen, hung his jacket and hat on the peg rack. Every movement was in slow motion, putting off the inevitable. But he was done running away from this.
He expected to smell the delicious aroma of whatever supper Anna had prepared, but as he entered the kitchen he didn’t detect anything. He frowned, there saw Anna sitting at the table.
“Mamm?”
Anna looked up. She stood. “Sawyer. I’m glad you’re home.” Her smile trembled. “Can I fix you something to eat? You must be starving.”
“I’m not hungry.” He went to her.
She looked down at the empty kitchen table. “No one else was either.”
“Where’s
Daed
?”
“In the barn. He’s taking care of the animals. But he’s been out there awhile.”
Sawyer nodded. His father was probably praying. The perfect example of a godly man. Sawyer had always known that, but it wasn’t until tonight that he appreciated it. Perhaps his father’s prayers would reach God’s ears. He certainly didn’t expect his own pathetic attempt to make any difference.
“Cora? Is she still here? Or did she hightail it back to Cleveland, since Middlefield is so beneath her?”
“She’s still here. She said she had a headache and went upstairs. I haven’t seen her since.” Anna sat down. She gestured to the chair beside her.
Sawyer sat. He’d never seen his mother so red-eyed. Or so tired. He touched her hand. “It will be okay.”
“That’s what Lukas says.” She gripped Sawyer’s hand. “I wish I had his faith.”
Sawyer wished he did too. “
Mamm
, it doesn’t matter what that woman says. I’m not leaving you or
Daed
. I’ll always be here in Middlefield. I’ll always be a part of the family.”
She ran her fingertips along the smooth surface of the kitchen table. He remembered when Lukas had made it for her. Big enough to seat ten adults, plus a couple of smaller chairs for kids. A table built of love and hope.
But it was only the three of them in this large house. “You say that now—”
“Because I mean it,” he said.
“Sawyer. We both know it’s not as simple as that.” She released his hand. “No matter what you decide, you will always be welcome here. This is your home.”
He nodded, ignoring the growing lump in his throat.
“But you do have a decision to make,” Anna continued.
“More than one. You need to figure out what you want to do with your life, with the church. With your relationship with God.”
He rubbed his chin. “I know.
Daed
said the same thing. He thinks maybe Cora showing up is God’s way of pushing me along.”
“He might be right.” She gave him a half-hearted smile. “I pray for you. Every day. But especially harder this past year. You can’t have one foot in each world. Not for much longer.”
“I know.” Sawyer let his hand drop on the table. The slamming sound was louder than he intended. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay.” Anna threaded her fingers together. “I understand.”