Falcorans' Faith (20 page)

Darlene smiled faintly.  Doc’s temper was legendary, though for all of his yelling, bluster, and swearing, he had the gentlest of hands of anyone she’d ever known.

“The emissary told me I’d be sorry for not accepting the Xanti’s offer,” Doc continued after emptying his wine glass again.  “I can’t say that I was, though.  We could never have done what they wanted, regardless of what they offered us, or threatened us with.  But I
was
sorry that we didn’t realize who we were dealing with.  I’ve been sorry for that every day since.”

Doc emptied the wine bottle into his glass, then sat holding it for a long moment.  When he spoke again, his voice was softer.  “I had a family,” he said.  “A wife, a daughter, and a son.  My daughter, Gillian, fell in love with a Dracon male-set.  They got married and, after a couple of years, they had babies.  Three precious little boys.  Gillian and her Rami, who were Garen, Trey and Val’s middle brothers, had come to Albion to visit for a few weeks when the babies were a few months old.  The afternoon of the day that I sent the Xanti emissary none too gently on his way, we were all scheduled to leave Albion.  My wife and I, and our son, were going back to Jasan with Gillian and the boys for an extended visit.  I got a call at the last minute to go to Nadiar to help with a viral outbreak.

“Instead of getting on the transport with my family, I boarded another ship for Nadiar, after promising to meet them on Jasan as soon as I could.  Four hours later, the transport had a mysterious
accident
, killing everyone on board.  Three minutes after that, to the second, Albion was destroyed.”  Doc raised the wine glass to his mouth, then put it back on the table with a decisive click without drinking.  “If you look up the official cause for Albion’s destruction you’ll see that it was hit by a giant asteroid.  But that’s not true.  I can’t prove it, but I
know
it.”

Darlene was stunned.  She’d guessed long ago that Doc was nearly as wounded as she was, if not more, but this was so much worse than she could have possibly imagined.  She reached for her wine glass with a shaky hand, glad that it was only half full.  Otherwise she would have slopped it all over herself. 

“I had nothing after that,” Doc said.  “I came to Jasan because this was as close as I could get to my family.  My home was gone, my
world
was gone, as was everyone I’d ever cared about.  After a few decades Garen, Trey and Val tracked me down and offered me a place here on the ranch.  I turned ‘em down at first, but after a while I changed my mind.  I’m a born healer.  I had to start doing something with myself or simply give up, and there ain’t much
give up
in me.  You know the rest.”

“I’m sorry, Doc,” Darlene said.  “I know that’s dumb and trite, but honestly, I am sorry.  I cannot begin to imagine how much pain you’ve suffered.”

“You’d think that after two hundred years the memories would have lost their sting,” Doc said with a slow shake of his head.

Darlene took a last bite of her salad and put her fork down, chewing thoughtfully.  She swallowed, then looked Doc straight in the eye.  “How long did you blame yourself for what happened?”

“You do cut right to the chase, don’t you?” he said with a soft chuckle.  Then he sighed.  “I’m not sure that I’ve stopped, darlin’.  Or that I should.  What the Xanti did to Albion wasn’t something I could have changed and I know that.  But
I
was the reason they went after that transport.  That emissary wanted me, personally.  I’ve come to realize that the emissary I tossed out that day was more than likely a Xanti in a bio-suit.  If I’d held my temper with him, my family would still be alive.”

The
what if
game.  Darlene was excruciatingly familiar with it.

“You plan to go to Xantara, don’t you?” she asked.

“I have to,” he said with a shrug.  “I’m no warrior, you know that.  But I’m a damn good doctor, so I’m sure I can make myself useful.  I want to be there when the Xanti are put down like the bugs they are.  I want to see it with my own eyes.”

“Yes, I know what you mean,” Darlene said.  “Your reasons are better than mine, but I want to see it too.  I want the satisfaction of knowing that those behind the creation of the Controllers are unable to hurt anyone else, ever again.”

“Hurt is hurt, darlin’,” Doc said.  “Ain’t no sense in comparing our tragedies against each other to see which was worse.”

Darlene nodded.  “Why did you want me to know this?”

“I want you to know about me, as I know about you,” Doc said.  “But it had to be your choice this time.  You never had much choice in whether or not to tell me what happened to you, down to the most intimate details.”

Darlene’s pulse sped up. 
Her
choice
.  They were no longer doctor and patient, and hadn’t been for a long time.  He was telling her, again, that whether or not they took it to the next level was up to her.  She wanted to.  She’d wanted to for a long time.  But what if it didn’t work out?  And what about that mysterious feeling she had that it would be a mistake to commit to anyone, even though every other particle of her being said otherwise? 

 “Do you know how important our friendship is to me?” she asked.

Doc thought about that for a few moments, considering all the possible meanings of the question, and the ramifications of each response he might give. 

“I expect it’s at least as important to you as it is to me,” he said.  “I know it’s a risk.  We could both lose something we hold dear.  But Darlene, I been mourning for two hundred years.  I expect I’d mourn another two hundred if you hadn’t come into my life.  It’s taken me a long while to take this step, and I know I’m risking our friendship right now, wanting something more.  I decided it was a risk worth taking.”

Darlene took a deep, shuddering breath, her hands wrapped tightly around the nearly empty wine glass, dinner forgotten.  “You know I still have charges hanging over my head,” she reminded him.  “Kidnapping Lariah and Saige, Riata’s death, those aren’t small things.  I could end up spending the rest of my life in prison once we’re finished with the Xanti.”

“If you think Lariah will let her Dracons punish you after all you’ve done for Jasan these last couple of years, you don’t know her at all,” Doc said. 

Darlene smiled.  “Doc, nothing I do can justify what I did that day.  Strange as it sounds, I won’t feel right within myself until those charges are formally dealt with.

“Actually, it doesn’t sound strange to me at all,” Doc said with a smile.  “But I’m telling you now, if the worst happens, I’ll wait.”

“I could be a very old woman when I get out,” Darlene pointed out.

“Not if you let me cure your aging,” Doc countered.

Darlene nodded slowly, accepting that.  “Why do you want to be with me?”

“Because I love you,” Doc said matter-of-factly. 

Darlene controlled her reaction to that statement by thinking back on her life, trying to remember if anyone had ever said that to her before.  Aside from her parents when she was very young, no one had.  “Do you mind if I think about this?” she asked uncertainly.

“Nope, not at all,” Doc replied.  “I took a year, its only fair you have some time to think on it too.”

“Thanks,” Darlene said.  “I won’t take a year.  Just a few days.”

“Fair enough,” Doc said.  “I’d like to ask you one thing though, if you don’t mind.  You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

“Of course,” Darlene replied.

“Do you love me, Darlene?” he asked.

“Yes,” Darlene replied, once again staring directly into his pale blue eyes.  “Never doubt that, Doc.  Never doubt that for a moment.”

Chapter
Seventeen

Xaqana-Ti was surprised by the unscheduled transmission from Xi-Kung.  He was under strict orders to maintain signal silence while in Jasani space, so unless the contents of the message was very important, she’d be forced to terminate him.  She had no sentimental feelings toward Xi-Kung.  However, if she were to lose a Leg Leader, she wanted it to be by her own design. 

When she opened the message and saw that it was sent from Terien space rather than Jasani, using their very secret high speed secure channels, her temper eased.  Somewhat.  Then she read the missive, and her anger was forgotten. 

On the surface Xi-Kung’s message, couched in the form of a status report, was clear and simple.  He wrote that his ship had malfunctioned, forcing them to exit Jasani space via portal and stand by in Terien space to await a service ship.  His ship was now certified to be in working order.  Xi-Kung then learned that his Chief Navigation Officer had failed to close the Jasani portal behind them, and had tossed the defective Xanti out an air lock.  Without a full compliment of officers, he’d been forced, according to Xaqana-Ti’s specific orders, to request that the service ship’s escort, which just happened to be one of Queen Narliq-Li’s battle cruisers, step in and watch over Jasani space until he was able to retrieve another officer.  He expected it would take him about a week to get back to his post in the Jasani territory.  That was all.

Xaqana-Ti knew that to all eyes but her own there would be nothing suspicious in the rather tiresome, routine status message.  She gave a silent nod to Xi-Kung for his cleverness, then lowered all of her legs and settled down to think.

Firstly, she had never given orders stating that a ship required a full compliment of officers to be in Jasani space, as Xi-Kung was certainly aware. 

Secondly, he had not indicated what the malfunction on his ship had been, or even that a malfunction was found.  He’d said only that it was certified to be in working order.  Had it been in working order to begin with?  She thought that to be very likely.

Thirdly, since portals could be used only by Xanti ships, there was no rule as to whether they were left open, or closed.  In fact, since portal codes could not be transmitted outside of their own galaxy, they were often left open for use by ships who didn’t possess the codes.  So why throw an otherwise perfectly good navigation officer out the airlock for leaving one open?

And fourthly, she’d just received a verbal status report from Xi-Kung a few days earlier.  Yet this document was clearly labeled
Bi-Annual Status Report.

Xi-Kung was warning her, carefully but clearly, that something was wrong.  Very wrong.  He was giving her a chance to cover herself before whatever it was came to light. 

The big question was, how did she cover herself when she had no idea what was coming?  A soft beeping noise alerted her to an incoming call from the Supreme Queen.  She immediately set Xi-Kung’s problem aside and stood up straight before tapping the appropriate button on her portable control board.  An image of her mother, Qarnia, appeared on the small screen of the board.

“Greetings, Supreme Queen and Honored Mother,” Xaqana-Ti said, using her sweetest, purest, and most pleasing tones. 

“Greetings, Youngest Daughter,” Qarnia replied.  “I have received your request concerning Onddo, and have reviewed all of the reports and missives you sent.  Tell me, is this a full accounting?”

“Yes, Honored Mother,” Xaqana Ti replied, relieved that she had not left anything out, though she had been tempted.  One could not lie to Mother.  Ever.

“Very good then,” Qarnia said.  “Your sisters are understandably cautious.  Your decision to send the information to me was wise, otherwise neither of them would agree to take over the territory in spite of its prestige.  However, I can now certify that it is as it appears, so long as you will certify to me, now, that you are not holding back further information.”

“I so certify, Honored Mother,” Xaqana Ti said at once.

“Excellent.  Now I must only worry about which of them will get it, and the certain fighting between them over it.  I assume this was your intent?”

“No, Honored Mother,” Xaqana Ti replied.  “It was not.  I see, now that you mention it, that it will be a problem though.”

“I am surprised, Daughter,” Qarnia said.

Xaqana Ti shifted one leg a fraction, an obvious, and deliberate, sign of distress.  “Honored Mother,” she said.  “If I offer another territory so that Narliq-Li and Zarnia-Ne will each have one, would that prevent bickering?”

The Supreme Queen considered that for a long moment, studying her youngest daughter carefully as she thought.  “It must be a territory that I will designate myself.”

“Agreed,” Xaqana Ti said, already knowing what her mother would choose. 

“Daughter, are you truly overwhelmed with your duties now that you have the East Quad to manage as well?”

“It is more than that, Honored Mother,” Xaqana Ti said, choosing her words carefully.  “Even though we have many spies on Jasan, and the secret portals, the Jasani are wily, and have strong magic.  We can take nothing for granted.  I feel that we must unite all of our resources to deal with the threat they pose to us.”

“You know of an impending threat from them?”

“No, Honored Mother,” Xaqana Ti replied.  “I do not.  But I expect that there will be one, and we must be fully prepared for it when it comes.  I will not pretend to you, or anyone, that the great game for the ultimate prize is not important to me.  I fully intend to become Supreme Queen after you, Honored Mother.  However, at this time, I truly believe that we must prepare ourselves to face any threat to our home world, as well as our empire, and not allow ourselves to become divided by infighting.”