Fall into my Heart (The Subzero Series, #1) (17 page)

I
shook my head as I followed her to the register and handed over my visa. Tyler
walked out just as I was signing the sales receipt. I grabbed ahold of the
shiny black handles of the bag that held Tyler’s neatly folded new clothes. I
flashed Tyler a giant smile as I held the bag out to him.

“Here,
consider this a belated Christmas present from me to you.”

––––––––

I
woke up on New Year’s Eve and almost felt like I needed to do some soul
searching or something. I usually look forward to starting the New Year. This
year, however, I just felt anxious. I hated going into the New Year when this
year ended so.....wrong. I felt like I had unfinished business I needed to
resolve and I knew I couldn’t officially start the year until I made things
right with certain people.....or at least make myself feel better.

An
hour later I was parked in front of a very familiar brick apartment building
and knocking on a very familiar red door. The door opened and I was greeted by
an extremely surprised looking Connor.

“Chloe.....what
are.....I can’t believe you’re here. I mean I always figured you’d come back at
some point but after the last time I saw you, I didn’t think it would be so
soon.”

Connor
had this smug look on his face that almost made me want to hit him. I held my
hand up to stop him from talking as I walked past him into the apartment. He
was still a slob. It was nice to see that some things haven’t changed. I pushed
a sweatshirt off of the arm of a chair and perched myself on it.

“I’m
not here to get back with you Connor.” I said flatly.

“Then
why are you here? Huh? You know we are good together baby. You and I, we make
sense together.” Connor smiled as he reached his hand out towards my arm.
Moving slightly, I shook my head and he backed off.

“I
came to make myself perfectly clear that we were over months ago and I don’t
have any intentions of getting back with you. EVER.”

Connor
smiled that stupid smile again. I wonder what would happen if I punched him. Do
you think he would have me arrested? I am imagining, of course, that it would
actually hurt him if I punched him.

“Are
you sure about that?” Connor asked confidently.

“I
am absolutely positive. I honestly don’t think we would have gone through with
the wedding. I didn’t realize it then, but we both stopped loving each other
long before you cheated.”

“That’s
not true. I never say things I don’t mean and I told you I loved you all the
time.”

“Connor
you don’t love me, I honestly think that the only reason you proposed is
because you felt like that was what you were supposed to do. It had nothing to
do with love.”

The
look on Connor’s face told me I was right and he knew it.

“Look
Connor, I moved on and you need to as well. You can’t just pop in for visits
nor can you tell people we are still engaged. We aren’t together. We aren’t
friends. We aren’t anything. You have no idea how much you have messed things
up for me.”

Connor
opened his mouth to say something, but closed it and looked away like a pouting
child. I stood up and moved towards the door.

“So
for the last time, I wanted to come and say goodbye. So please just don’t call
me or come visit me professing your love. Just let me be.”

“Alright
fine, but I think you’re making a big mistake. I still think we should try again.
Do you know how many people are relationships with someone they don’t love?”

I
shook my head. I honestly don’t know how or why I dated him for so long.

“Goodbye
Connor.” I walked out the door feeling so much more confident than I did this
morning.

When
I was safely inside the car, I pulled out my cell phone. I was feeling momentously
assertive and I knew if I didn’t do this now then I would end up losing the
courage. I punched in Jack’s number and started fidgeting nervously as I waited
for the ring. The ring never came though; instead the call went straight to
voicemail. I could leave a message right? I mean at least he would still hear
what I have to say. That’s it I’ll leave him a message. I can do that. As soon
as I heard Jack’s voice on the recording though, that momentary on top of the
world feeling slipped away and I hung up my phone.

Feeling
only slightly deflated, due to chickening out on leaving a message, I drove
back to my parent’s house. I wondered why his phone was off. Maybe he was with
someone and he didn’t want them to be disturbed so he switched off his phone. Or
what if he had a hunch I might try to call him so he turned his phone off so he
wouldn’t have to hear from me. Or what if he was hoping I would call and he
didn’t know that his phone had shut off.....ugh I should have left a message.

~*~

Feeling
bad for myself, I ended up lazing around on the couch, eating lord knows how
many cookies and watching the last batch of Christmas movies on television
until my mom shooed me off to get ready for the party. Once I got up to my
room, I didn’t really want to leave. I wondered if anyone would notice if I
didn’t go down. Most people will probably be drunk or too preoccupied with
their significant either to notice if I was there or not. Then tomorrow, if
anyone does ask where I was, I could pretend I was there and act all offended.
“What do you mean where was I? Don’t you remember we had that amazing talk
about that thing?”

Someone
knocked on my door then, startling me. How long have I been sitting here? I
glanced at my cell phone. Oh crap! Two hours!  My mom poked her head in the
door and gave me the look. You know the mom look that clearly says “What the
hell are you doing?”

“Chloe,
people are starting to arrive. I think it would be nice if you put on something
other than jeans and came downstairs.”

“Uh.....yeah.
I’ll be down in a minute.” I flashed my best fake smile.

She
gave me “the look” one more time before closing my door and walking away. I
quickly put on the steel gray halter dress I bought the other day and slid my
feet into my new stilettos. I dashed into the bathroom to apply my makeup and
flip out my hair with my flat iron so fast that I’m not even sure if it looks
right. I practiced my “look how happy I am” face in the mirror a few times
before deciding that I couldn’t hide up here any longer.

“There
she is!”

Oh
great.....I’m barely down the stairs and I’ve already been spotted by Chuck
Pfeiffer. Chuck is my parent’s neighbor. He’s about 47, single, balding and he
always smells like raw meat. When we were younger, we use to swear he would
roll around in raw hamburger meat. Nick swore he saw him swimming in pool of
meat once. It’s ridiculous, I know, but what other reason could there be as to
why someone smells like that?

“Hi
Chuck, how are you?” I ask as I scan the room for someone, anyone, to talk to.

“Great,
great. Just started working at Joe’s Carpet Emporium. Installin carpet is like
an art you know.”

I
looked around, growing desperate. Just as Chuck was beginning to drone on about
how he preferred Berber to Frieze, I realized I didn’t need anyone else to get
out of this conversation.

“Fascinating
stuff Chuck, but I really need to check on the um.....yeah so anyway, I gotta
go.”

Before
he could stop me, I was off. After nibbling on a couple of carrots, I started
mingling with my family and answering the same questions over and over again –
How did I like London? Was there a special fella in my life? Of course there
were the observational comments of “Well Abby’s boyfriend seems.....nice.” After
being asked about my love life for the tenth time, I decided I needed a drink. 

I
made my way down to the basement heading straight to the bar. After browsing
numerous bottles and trying to decide if I want a glass of white or red wine, I
changed my mind and grabbed a bottle of rum. I poured some of it into a plastic
cup and was in the process of adding a splash of cola when Nick appeared at my
side.

“You
know you’re supposed to use a shot glass to measure.” He said as he grabbed a
cup.

“Thanks
for the tip.” I said as I took a small sip and then a bigger one.

Nick
watched with an amused look on his face as I downed the rest of my drink.

“You
better watch it or you might end up kissing  Ground Chuck at midnight.” He
joked.

“Beats
having no one to kiss.” I said.

Nick
and I looked at each other and started laughing.

“You
might end up falling in love and having a bunch of little meat babies!” Nick
exclaimed.

“No
way! I’d never be that desperate for a baby or a kiss.” I told him.

Nick
made us both another drink, although his weren’t as strong as the one I made.
He raised his glass and gave me a smile. “I think this year is going to be an
awesome year for the both of us.”

I
gave Nick a grateful look as I clinked my cup against his. I took a giant sip
of my drink and looked over at my brother. He really was a good guy. I could
definitely see some changes in him since he started this relationship, or
whatever it was, with Noelle.  I hoped it worked out for him; for both of
them.  Maybe she could get him to move out of my parent’s house and fully act
like an adult at some point.

“C’mon.”
Nick said, nodding his head over to where Abby, Tyler and Noelle were sitting.

“Well
you have been a huge hit.” I said to Tyler.

He
nodded his head. “I’d say I try but it just comes naturally.”

“See
now there’s the arrogant Tyler I know! Welcome back!” I teased.

I
glanced over to Abby and her eyes were as big as saucers. She looked over at
Tyler and they smiled at each other. I gave them an odd look and glanced over
to Nick and Noelle, who quickly turned away.

“Chloe.....”

My
heart stopped. I knew that smooth velvety voice anywhere but it couldn’t be.
How much of this have I drank? I wondered as I glanced down at my cup. Judging
by the looks on everyone’s faces, I knew that I didn’t drink enough to start
imaging my ex-boyfriend coming up behind me. My heart started beating wildly as
I turned around. I couldn’t believe it. Standing right in front of me, looking
like he hadn’t slept in weeks, was Jack.

“Wh.....what
are you doing here?” I asked him.

Jack
took a deep breath before he started talking.

“Chloe,
I am an idiot; A complete ass. I should have never listened to that guy. I
should have had more faith in you. I had no right to say the things I said to
you. I should have listened to you and let you tell your side of the story and
I didn’t see that then but I know it now.”

All
of the sudden I was extremely aware that all conversations around us had
stopped and everyone was staring at us. I could feel my face turning three
shades of red. Jack bit his bottom lip and ran his hand through his jet black
hair before continuing.

“I
know that I am probably too late and I completely understand if you never want
to talk to me again and if you don’t then I promise I will leave you alone. I
just.....I had to come here and tell you I was wrong and that I miss you and that
I love you and that I am so, so unbelievably sorry.”

Wait
a minute.....did he just? Did he just say he loves me? He loves me! Jack freakin
loves me!

“I
probably shouldn’t have come. I’m really sorry for interrupting your party. I
guess I’ll go.” I was so wrapped up in what just happened that I barely noticed
that Jack looked completely deflated as he turned to walk away.

I
couldn’t believe it! I thought things were over for us for sure. I mean he
wouldn’t talk to me, even after he found out I wasn’t seeing anyone else but
him, and now here he was saying that he loves me!

“CHLOE!”
Abby hissed.

What?
Oh right. Wait! Jack is actually leaving. If I let him go then things are
definitely going to be over between us. It won’t matter who loved who.

“Jack.....wait.”
I called out. Jack turned around and I felt my heart drop into my stomach. I
knew he was upset but I didn’t expect to see his beautiful blue eyes filled up
with tears. “Stay.”

A
tiny hint of a smile began to form on Jacks lips as he walked across the room
towards me. Cupping my face in his hands, Jack firmly pressed his lips against
mine. My heart started racing so fast, I’m sure he could feel it. I have been
waiting for this, for him for so long.

The
conversations resumed around us as I grabbed Jacks hand and pulled him over to
an empty corner. Jack wrapped his arms around my waist and leaned down,
pressing his forehead against mine. It felt so good to be in his arms again. I
thought I knew just how much I missed him these past few weeks but I honestly
didn’t realize just how much until he was holding me in his arms again.

“I’m
so sorry baby.” Jack said.

“I’m
sorry too. I should have told you about Connor. I just......I didn’t want you to
think I had all this baggage and I certainly didn’t think he’d come looking for
me.”

“I
know and you have nothing to be sorry for. You didn’t do anything wrong. I was
the one who acted like a jerk,” Jack bit his lower lip and looked away for a
moment, “Do you think you could forgive me?”

“Of
course I do! I just want to put all of this behind us. This whole thing.....it’s
just been a nightmare.”

A
sad look shadowed Jack’s face momentarily. “I know it has, for me too, but I
promise I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you.”

“You’re
here now. That’s all that matters. What made you come?”

“Aside
from the fact that I couldn’t wait for you to get home.....It was Jocalyn.” Jack
admitted with a smile on his face.

“Jocalyn.....really?”

“Yes
well she popped over the other day and really laid into me for being such a big
stupid dummy - those were her exact words by the way. When she finally calmed
down, we had a really nice chat, although she did most of the talking.”

I
could picture Jocalyn getting all worked up and flipping out on Jack and the
thought made me smile. I bet she had her hands balled into fists on her hips
and she probably used that voice where she gets all squeaky and pitchy and she
talks a mile a minute – which really isn’t much different from her normal voice
but still funny to hear.