Fallen Crest Alternative Version (20 page)

“Oh.”

I spat out a sound. I didn’t know what it was. Anguish, revulsion. I didn’t care. My eyes were bright. The tears shimmered in my depths. “She looked at this box. She looked at it and she kicked it to the side.”

I was going mad. I shook my head. Everything was swimming around me.

“Sam, calm down.”

I saw his hand reach for my shoulder, but I reeled away. Everything was coursing through me. “Everything was packed up. We came inside to see if we’d forgotten anything. Mason and Logan stayed outside, but James came in. He asked her here, in the living room, if she had everything. She was looking at the piano. How could she not have seen the box? But then, no…then she walked closer to the piano and her foot moved out.” I gasped. “She kicked the box away. Why would she do that?”

I turned now and met his gaze. The pity broke me. Sobs reared back up and I bent over, gasping for breath.

“Samantha.”

I shook my head and pushed him away again. “No. NO. She knew what was in that box and left it on purpose.” My head snapped back up. I spat out, “That was my life. Those pictures are my life. Not just hers!”

“I know.” His voice was soft.

I gasped again, reeling. Oh god. Oh god.

Then everything stopped. I jerked back upright and turned swiftly for the door.

“Sam. What are you doing?” The pity was gone. His concern was evident.

I shrugged him away, for the millionth time, and whirled around. “Get off me.”

“What are you going to do?” He tried to block me at the door.

I shoved him away and snarled, “Get off!”

“Sam!”

I threw the door open and hurried to my car. I couldn’t move fast enough. My heart was racing. Everything was tumbling away.

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

David yelled my name until I was in the car and turned around. The drive to the mansion didn’t take long, not when I was speeding, and I slammed the front door shut behind me when I entered. “Analise!”

Nothing.

I knew they were home. His car was there. Her car was beside his. They couldn’t have gone without them.

“Analise!”

“Good gracious, Samantha.” She sounded annoyed from down the hallway. Her high heels pitter-pattered down the tiled floor.

My heart thumped. It had slowed during the drive over, but my chest still heaved. I was restraining myself. Barely.

As my mother came closer and her face entered the light from the foyer, she frowned and braked. A hand went to her throat and her white pearls around her neck lifted up in a sigh.

She wore red.

My mother wore a red dress, made of lace, with white slippers on her feet. They were simple slippers, but it gave her a Cinderella look.

My eyes snapped to hers. They widened a fraction and she stepped back, but stopped. “Sam, really. What is it? Have the boys gotten in trouble again?”

“Sam?” James had followed behind her. He was still in a dark suit, and I realized they were leaving for dinner.

My voice came out mangled. “Where are you going?”

“Drinks and dinner in the city.” Analise frowned now. She swept a hand around in the air. “Really, honey. This is getting annoying. What is wrong?”

“You.”

I said it so simply and waited. I had to—I wanted to bash her head against the doorframe.

“Me?” There was amusement now in her voice.

“Sam? Where are Mason and Logan?”

I shook my head. They weren’t my concern then.

“Listen.” Her hand moved and rested on her hip. The bracelets on her wrists jangled from the movement. “Since you’re here and I never see you anymore, you are moving back on Sunday? Garrett had his time with you, for two weeks. Now that he’ll be here permanently, I think you should move home again. You need some consistency in your life, Sam. I worry about you.”

I laughed. It came out hollow. “Are you kidding me?”

She quieted. “What do you mean?”

“I might call Mason.” James moved away. His voice was heard farther away in a soft murmur.

“Sam.” Analise moved forward a step. Her arm lifted to grab me.

I snarled at her and shoved her backwards. It was violent, but it was done before I knew it. Her head bounced against the wall and she cried out in pain. As her hand rose to touch where she had been hit, she looked at me again. The annoyance was gone. This time a horror took its place. Her lips grew white around the edges. “What is wrong with you?”

“You.” I said it again.

“Me,” she scoffed. As she turned for James, she winced from the pain. “James, I’m the problem.”

He came back. Everything was a mask over his face, but he looked at me. “Mason said you went to your dad’s house.”

I held my breath. My heart pounded.

“She’s staying there. Why wouldn’t she?”

He didn’t look away from me. “What happened, Samantha?”

My eyes narrowed. “You’ve talked to me once. Don’t start now.”

“Sam!”

He flinched but backed away a step. Then he turned to Analise and his hand touched the back of her elbow. “Honey, we should leave.”

“No! My child assaulted me. I want to know why.”

“I think its best we go.”

“No!” She twisted her arm free and whirled back for me. Her chest heaved this time and her eyes were wild. “What is going on with you, Samantha?” She looked away. “Did you go to David’s house instead?”

I couldn’t speak. Everything pulsated inside of me. I was the bomb. I was ticking away.

“Analise, we should go.”

“No!” She glared at him for a beat before she turned back. “Samantha, tell me what is wrong. Please.”

“I hate you.”

It slipped out, like butter.

I continued, “It was my life too.”

Her mouth clamped shut. A stricken look entered, but her chin trembled. Her shoulders were so tense, and I laughed. “You don’t believe me?”

“Honey.”

“You threw away my life too! Because of what? Because you were bored? Because you fell out of love?” My voice rose with each statement. I yelled at her now, “That’s what life is! You make a vow and you stand by it. For better or worse, right? For better or worse, mom! You left. You left in the ‘or’ part. There weren’t any worse parts; there was just your boredom and your selfishness.”

“Sam.”

She spoke so quietly. I hated her all the more for it. I shook my head. “Don’t say anything. You don’t have that right anymore.”

She reared back, as if I had hit her.

I didn’t care. I didn’t care about anything then. “I don’t want to see you. I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t want to even know you exist. I think I hate you. I really do.”

Her eyes closed.

A sob tore from my throat, but I spoke the truth. “It was my life too. My memories. My mother. My father. My home. It was mine too. You can’t play with that. You’re not god. You’re not my mom right now. I don’t even think you’ve been in years.”

“I am too your mother.” She looked back up. A haunted emotion was in her depths. She was breathless. “I—”

“Everything changed!” I screamed and my hands shot to my hair. I wanted to yank it all out. I did, but I gasped for breath. I wanted to hurt her, not me. “Everything changed. I had friends when I lived there that I don’t anymore. I had a boyfriend when I lived there that I don’t anymore. Nothing’s the same. Everything changed. Everything is different. I don’t have parents anymore! Who disciplines me?! I am screwing your boyfriend’s son! And you don’t say anything. No one says anything.”

“Sam,” she choked out and fell back a step. She landed against the wall with a thump. Then her head went down and she whimpered.

“I have two dads. Who is it? Who is my real father? The sperm donor who showed up and is trying? Or the guy that was there all my life but not anymore? He dropped me when we moved, when you cheated. I call you all by first names!” I couldn’t stop shouting. Everything was off-kilter. It shouldn’t have been, but it was and it was her fault. I knew everything was her fault. “You didn’t bring my pictures, Analise. They were mine too. Those were things from my life too.”

“Sam,” she sobbed and reached a hand out.

I backed up and fell silent. There was no more. I was wrung out, but I saw that her dress was soaked from tears. “You might want to change before dinner. You look ridiculous.”

She gasped as I turned and left.

When I pulled the door closed behind me, I heard James murmur, “I think you look beautiful, Analise.”

Then it shut and I no longer cared. She wasn’t my concern. No one was.

When I got in my car, I drew in a deep breath. Where the hell did I go? I found myself driving past the two houses to Garrett’s house. The lights were lit and as I drew closer, I could smell the chili from outside. When the door opened, it was another matter. Raised voices blasted my ears and I no longer remembered the chili.

“I can’t believe you!”

Garrett’s voice chided, “Oh come on, Helen. What were you thinking? I never proposed to you and you laid it all out.”

My feet quickened their pace and I stopped in the kitchen’s doorframe. It was open and led to the small dining room and the right side of the house. They saw me. Helen’s mouth had opened, a finger was in the air, and she looked ready to deliver a scathing retort. It fell flat at my appearance.

“Sam?”

Her chest deflated when Garrett saw me. The raised finger fell to her side and she turned her back to me.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Sam.” Garrett stepped from around the kitchen island. “Come on. You look like crap. Have you been crying?” Then a different idea came to him and he growled. “Did Mason do this?”

That brought a laugh from me. “No.”

“Why do you blame him?” Helen crossed her arms over her chest.

I chuckled. “I’m going to go downstairs. Carry on.”

“Sam, wait.”

But I shook my head and gave him a small wave as I went to my room first. With all the drama and emotions that coursed through me, the need to run was full force inside of me. So I chucked my phone to the side, changed into my running gear, and grabbed my iPod. Since it was close to midnight, I went to Garrett’s gym in the basement and climbed onto the treadmill.

I kept the television off. I turned the fan on. I had only one light turned on from the back wall. Then I started my music and started running.

I never checked the time. I just ran. I had missed it and for some reason the urge to go hadn’t been with me. Because of that, I felt it come back twofold. It was trying to contain me, suffocate me, and I went longer because of it.

When I did stop, it was close to three in the morning, and I was panting. My limbs were rubbery. The numb feeling had taken over everything. It seemed like sheets of sweat dropped from me when I left that room and headed to my own. But when I opened my door and turned the light on, I stopped short.

Mason lifted his head from my bed and gave me a small grin. “Hey.”

“Hey.” The door slipped from my fingers. I flinched as it shut louder than I would’ve wanted. “What are you doing here?”

He grinned and pushed up to sit on the edge of my bed. “What do you think, Sam? I’ve been worried.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.” Then he chuckled and ran a hand over his face. “What time is it? I fell asleep in here.”

“You were waiting for me?”

“Yeah.” His eyes held mine and I felt the old intensity. He was searching inside of me. I flinched again.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

He said it so softly, chills went down my back. My own truth slipped out. “For being stupid and selfish.”

“How were you being selfish?”

“I didn’t go to you guys at the game. I couldn’t.” I shook my head and rolled my eyes. “I didn’t want any help from Kate or from your friends. I hate that they think I’m weak.”

“They don’t think you’re weak.”

“Yes,” I laughed. “Yes, they do.”

“Sam.” He started to stand.

I waved him back down and went to my closet. “When did you get here?”

“Ten minutes after my dad called. He said you were upset.”

I sighed as I grabbed the silk robe he’d given me for Christmas. With it in my hands, I felt even more foolish. I should’ve called him. I should’ve told him what was going on with me, but I didn’t. I refused. I ended up snapping at my mother because of it. If I had called, maybe none of it would’ve happened. I wouldn’t have gone to David’s. I wouldn’t have seen the box. I wouldn’t have gotten so angry at her.

I swallowed a knot in my throat. “I got mad at my dad’s, at David’s, whatever. I don’t know what I’m supposed to call him, but I got mad. I saw a box that had—it’s stupid. There were things important to me in there and I remember that my mom kicked it away. She didn’t take it with her and that hit home, I guess. I feel stupid now.”

“Come here.”