Falling Behind (Falling Series) (12 page)

Chapter Twenty

Reese

I worked on controlling my breathing as we climbed down the levy toward the riverbed, underneath the railroad tracks. Inhale and slowly blow it out, ten times. I pictured Candice smiling and loving life. Not the shell of an abused girl she had become. We reached the bottom of the canal bank to find the area across the river taped off with caution tape and several officers searching the area.

“Sorry
, kids, you can’t be down here right now. We’re holding an investigation. This place will be under security for a while.” One of the officers called over to us.

“It’s okay. I’m glad to see your investigating her death.” Titus sneered.

Another officer came toward us. “You know the deceased?”

I couldn’t talk. The knot was forming in my chest and I was focused on my breathing. We were told we would be questioned soon by the sheriff’s department, but I wasn’t prepared to do this now.

“Yes, Titus Allyn and Reese Milson.” We were friends with Candice.”

The officer
looked us over before coming closer. “I’m really sorry about your friend. I understand why you’re here.” There’s no way, he had no clue why we were here. We didn’t tell him anything and he doesn’t know us from Adam. Or Alex. “But, we can’t have you guys down here, right now. I’ll give you a few minutes to say your goodbyes or whatever. I know the last place she was, but then I have to ask you guys to go.” Huh, maybe the guy understood more than I thought.

I
nodded. “It’s okay, Ty, let’s just go. It’s kind of creeping me out. I didn’t think—“

“Reese, we
’ll just take a minute. You’ll be okay and then we’ll head out, alright?”

I covered my face and took in several deep breaths,
starting my counting over from one. I need a whole new set to calm me down. I could picture her lying over there, broken. I felt Titus’ hand rub soothing circles on my upper back.

“Thank you for understanding
; and again, sorry for all that you’ve lost.”

“Just get enough to catch him.” Titus bit out angrily. I pulled my hands away from my face and latched on to a piece of hair, spinning it between my fingers. I noticed the officer give a curt nod before marching back over to the
crime scene.

The next few days flew by. I visited George and Cecilia as much as Mom would allow. Titus was with me every day, making sure I ate every couple hours, even if it was only fruit. Fruit was the only thing I could stomach, at the moment. My heart ached, my eyes stayed swollen and wet. I’d never felt the pain of losing someone. I had all my grandparents. Every aunt and uncle and even my great-parents on my mom’s side were alive. I never knew the stages of grief. Depression, or my teenage version of it, sure; I knew those stages. But it seemed like grief was a huge stepping stone of stages that led right into the sister stages of depression.

Numb, the first stage of grief. I’d been numb since the day we found out Candice was gone. I wanted to feel at peace,
that she was no longer hurting. I wanted to feel angry, sad, anything other than numb. I just couldn’t pull any feeling to the surface.

Mom had spoken to the school and excused us for the week. She arranged for our homework to be collected and for us to have the time to grieve before working on it. Of course
, the school was more than understanding and more than willing to work with us.

The funeral was planned for the upcoming Monday.
Being fifteen and burying your best friend is not something you can prepare for.  Candice would have laughed at me and told me to suck it up and quite crying, had she been there, sitting next to me. Then, again, if she were there we wouldn’t be doing this. She always said I was a cry baby. I would like to see her try and not cry at my funeral I knew I cried more than most girls. I was trying to control it but these last few weeks had been
hell!

I wrung my hands in my lap
, sitting in the second row of the little Baptist church in our little town. I thought about the time we were forced to wear black to her grandmother’s funeral. Our mom’s telling us it was out of respect and when we were older we could wear what we wanted to funerals. That day, Candice and I promised each other whoever died first the other would wear anything but black to the funeral. Here I sat wearing my cheer uniform. It was our favorite thing to do. We were going to be co-captains, next year. We had so many plans for our future, together. We wanted to attend Cal Poly University, on the coast. We were going to find amazingly hot twin brothers, marry them, and have lots of twin babies. We planned on moving back to Laton, once we were married, and buying homes next door to each other with white picket fences. Our lives were going to be perfect, together. Tears threatened my eyes as I glanced to my family, on either side of me.

Titus was on my left and my mom on my right. I glanced around the church
, not really surprised to see it packed. There was standing room only and, from what I could tell, the only standing room left was down the hall by the classrooms or outside.

Later
, I found out the Principal had canceled school so administration and teaching staff, along with students, could attend her funeral. They were all there. Every teacher we’d had, and even ones we didn’t have, were sitting there amongst family and friends in the pews. Pink and white flower arrangements dotted the front of the church and a huge yellow and white spray lay over her casket. My family and Titus’ family had ordered the two blue and gold arrangements, one in the shape of a megaphone and one in the shape of a pom pom. In between the blue and gold arrangements, was her uniform, empty and on display with a few flowers pinned to it. Her picture was blown up and on an easel, near her beautiful casket. It was a closed casket service, and for that I was grateful.

My tear filled eyes
searched the faces of everyone who attended, knowing that Candice would be happy. Knowing she was looking down on today, happy. Until I saw the two of them standing in the very back corner.

Titus

Reese looked at peace as she scanned the crowd. Her eyes were filled with tears, but they weren’t falling over, so I left her to her thoughts and just watched. I knew the exact moment I felt a change in her. Her back stiffened. Her jaw clinched and worked back and forth as if she were grinding her teeth together. I didn’t understand what could take away the serenity that had filled her just a moment ago. It was actually the first time she looked content since Winter Formal.

I followed
her line of sight. Two figures stood in the very back corner of the church. They were almost hidden by the open church doors. But from where we sat, we could see them. They were both staring deliberately at us. I found Reese’s hand and squeezed it. It was as if it took everything in her to tear her gaze away to look at me. But I wasn’t taking my eyes off of Alex and Josh.

“Tell your dad. He’s closest.” I whispered without moving my lips. I didn’t want to scare them off.

Reese discreetly tapped her dad’s knee, which was a chore in itself, since he was on the other side of her mom. I would have just asked for a messaged to be passed down. But Reese was smart and her dad looked over at us and then followed my gaze quickly to the back and them to the front, again, before slipping out of the pew and heading up to the front to speak to the minister. I had no clue what he was doing, but it was working. The two idiots in the back had started to leave, but when they noticed he wasn’t coming toward them, they scooted further back into the corner.

Reese pulled
her phone out. I’m pretty sure she sent a silent prayer of apology up for pulling her phone out in church, and during her best friend’s funeral, but I can’t be positive. She did close her eyes and lift her chin to the ceiling, before dropping it to stare at her hands and wipe away some fake tears. Man, this girl was good. While she was swiping at the non-tears, she tapped out a message telling her father they had moved further to the corner.

When I looked up
, toward the altar, Phil was gone. I wondered where he went until I heard a small commotion behind us and saw both guys being escorted out by the Sheriff’s Department. Yes, they were already here. With the seriousness of Candice’s death, her parents asked for two officers to be present in case he showed and caused any problems. They still didn’t have enough to arrest Alex, but they could escort him off the premises and Josh, too, for Reese’s sanity.

The chatter in the church was increasing and the microphone screeching to life didn’t slow it down. The minister stood at the altar
, behind the pulpit, ready to begin. “Dear friends and family, we are gathered here today to celebrate the life a wonderful young woman, who was taken, too early, from us.

“Let’s all bow
our heads in prayer.” I wiggled my fingers between Reese’s hands, separating them enough to slide my fingers through hers. We bowed our heads and, as Pastor Doug prayed for our friend, I sent up my own prayer.
Dear God, please take care of Candice. Guide her into your kingdom and keep her happy and safe. Please help her family heal. I ask that you help Reese and I heal, as well. I wasn’t ready for her to go. She was too young to be taken. Lord, please help us all deal. Amen.

I wasn’t huge on praying
, or on going to church. Since I was here, though, I figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask the Big Guy for some help. The weeks, months maybe even years ahead were going to be rough. I lifted my head after my prayer and saw one of Candice’s uncle’s up singing a song. Everyone around us was standing, except Reese and me. I pulled on her hand and she jerked her tear streaked face my way. I nodded and she noticed that everyone else was standing.

I was taken by surprise when Reese released my hand and stood, sliding down the
row to get out. Confusion set in and my adrenalin began to pump. I didn’t realize she was speaking, today. I would have helped her prepare—if one
could
prepare for this type of thing. I heard whispers behind me commenting on her choice of outfit for today. I smiled, knowing why she wore it.

My chest ached and the breath was stole
n from me as we locked eyes and she smiled before opening her mouth to deliver the most heart wrenching story I’d ever heard, in my entire life.

“C was my best friend, my twin. We knew
, from the day our parents threw us into a crib together, that we would be lifelong friends.” She chuckled and swiped a tear. “Well, technically we knew since about second grade. I guess our parents knew long before we did. She was my rock and I was her sensitivity. Together, we were unstoppable.” At that moment, someone in the crowd said something rude and loud about Reese wearing her cheer uniform. To her benefit, she laughed before stating the obvious. “Candice and I made a pact, years ago, when we were forced to wear black to a funeral, that whoever died first, the other would wear anything but black to the funeral. Candice loved cheering. She was amazing at it and my partner in it. We would spend hours putting dances together for the squad. It felt right to wear it, today.”

“I can’t stand up here much longer without breaking down. So I’ll leave you with this thought. Candice was a beautiful person and friend, inside and out. She lived her life with love and happiness until it was taken from her.” Reese stopped and grabbed a tissue. Gathering her thoughts as she dried her eyes, she took a deep shuttering breath before continuing. “She will forever be in my heart and I hope yours. Candice,” she looked up toward heaven, “I’ll see you in the afterlife, when it’s my time.”

Clutching the tissue to her face she made her way down toward our pew. I stood, stepping toward her with my hand out. Reese took my hand, squeezing past her parents and fell into my arms. I sat
, pulling her down with me. Holding her we tuned out the rest of the service. Not needing to go through the receiving line, I snuck us out the side door of the church and around back, giving her time to recompose.

The burial went quickly and
, before I knew it, we were at the Lion’s Hall celebrating Candice’s life with a slide show and food. Watching Reese push her food around her plate, I asked her if she was ready to go. She nodded her response.

Mom was sitting with Reese’s parents. I guided us over to them. “We need a break. I’m going to take Reese home for a while
, if that’s okay with everyone.” I wasn’t really asking.

“Go ahead
, kids. I’ll explain to Candice’s parents.”

“Thank you.” Mom handed me her keys and I led Reese out of the hall.
We made it to her house and inside before she crumbled. I was ready. She had been so strong all day. Her hiccups and sobs destroyed me.

“She’s
. Really. Gone.” The last word came out as a painful gasp.

I wrapped her in my arms and we shuffled down the hall toward her room. “I know,
shhh, let’s get you changed, so you can lie down.”

She rubbed her face and inhaled deeply
, several times, before blowing out all the frustration. “Ty, I can change myself. Nice try, though.” She flashed me a quick sad smile and a wink.

I held my hands up, palms out
, in surrender. “Hey, just trying to help out.” I backed away and headed down the hall. I wasn’t trying to do anything with her. I really thought I was going to lose her to the blackness, again. I was trying to bring her out of it and I think it worked.