Falling Fast, Contemporary Romance (Last Frontier Lodge Novels Book 4) (22 page)

Marley shrugged. “So what? We can’t all be patient. Anyway, my point was you can spend all day pacing and freaking out, or you can accept there’s not much you can do.”

Delia chimed in. “Or you could do something about it,” she said firmly.

“Like what?”

Delia pursed her lips and angled her head to the side. “You might need to start by actually admitting how much Cam means to you.”

Ginger’s stomach flipped and her throat tightened with emotion again. She swallowed and gulped in air.
 
“What do you mean?”

Delia arched a brow, but remained silent. When Ginger glanced to Marley, she merely shrugged.

Feeling obstinate, Ginger rolled her eyes. “Fine. I love him. You know as well as I do that love doesn’t mean everything works out.”

Marley’s brows hitched up and her eyes widened before she shook her head. Delia threw her hands up. “Oh my God! Now you’re just being stubborn. If you’re referring to your first marriage, that doesn’t even count. You didn’t love Tony. Maybe you thought you did, but you didn’t. Tony sure as hell didn’t love you. You love Cam and that’s different.” Delia’s voice softened. “And Cam loves you.”

Delia’s words hit Ginger right in her heart. Her heart gave a hard kick and that anxious feeling rose up again.

Delia kept talking. “Don’t let a good thing go just because you’re scared.”

Marley nodded firmly. Ginger looked between them and almost laughed. She had bossy friends, but she was the same kind of friend to them, so she got it. Their bossy support right now eased her anxiety. She took a breath and let it out slowly. “I guess I’m kind of freaking out. I feel so out of control, like I can’t get a handle on anything.”

“Yeah, well, this part of falling in love is kind of like that,” Marley offered with a rueful grin.

Delia leaned back against the couch. “I wouldn’t be saying any of this if it wasn’t so obvious how you two feel about each other. I get the whole trust thing. Remember, Nick’s father wasn’t exactly a great guy. But when you find the right man, it’s worth it.”

Ginger looked out the windows. The wind was blowing the snow off the spruce boughs. Her stomach fluttered and her heart raced. She didn’t know if she was crazy, but she just wanted to be with Cam. She wanted to make sure he was okay and knew she was there for him if he needed her.
Um, if you’re going to go down there, you might want to get up the nerve to tell him how you feel.
She started to swat the thought away and then realized it was pointless. She loved Cam and she had to make sure he knew.

She stood up swiftly. “I’m going down there. Will one of you take care of George?”

“Of course. I’ll bring him up here,” Marley said quickly. “That way he won’t be alone while you’re gone. Do you need a ride to the airport?”

“First, I have to make reservations.”

Marley leaned over and grabbed her laptop off the coffee table. “Let’s do it right now. If you fly out of Diamond Creek, it’s a puddle jumper flight. You don’t mind those, right?”

“Nah. Just book me on the quickest flight.”

Chapter 20

Cam returned to the waiting room with two cups of hospital coffee in hand. His mother was napping in a corner chair, while Ivy sat nearby typing away on her laptop as usual. He sat down beside Ivy and set a cup of coffee on the table beside her. “Here you go. It might not be the best, but it’s definitely caffeinated.”

Ivy looked up and closed her laptop, snatching the coffee and taking a big gulp. “It’s not too bad,” she said with a grin.

Cam shrugged. “So, so. You don’t have to stop working because I’m here.”

“I was just getting through some emails.” She reached over and squeezed his hand quickly. “I’m glad you came. Mom’s fine either way, but it means a lot to her to have you here.”

“I know. Just like it means a lot to her for you to be here.” He paused and took a swallow of coffee, savoring the bitter flavor. “You know, once we know a little more about dad, maybe we should talk with mom and dad about him backing off work some. They keep talking about retiring every so often, but maybe it’s time to push things along.”

Ivy’s eyes were somber. “Maybe so. Let’s get to the part where we know a little more about how he’s doing first, okay?”

He leaned back in his chair. “Sure. Just putting it out there.” When they’d arrived early this morning, their father had gotten out of surgery and they were told it would be another two to three hours before they could see him. He was reportedly in the recovery room and would then be transferred to ICU. Cam was tired and his emotions were unsteady. His mind swung between worrying about his father, how his mother was coping, and wondering if Ginger had gotten his message.

As if on cue, Ivy asked, “Have you heard from Ginger?”

His heart clenched as he shook his head. He hadn’t checked his phone since this morning after he and Ivy arrived at the hospital. He’d gotten weary of checking it and having his hopes dashed again and again. Though he knew it was probably pointless, he fumbled in his pocket and pulled his phone out. “Aw, fuck. My battery died. You happen to have a charger with you? I didn’t even think to bring mine. I was in such a rush when I left.”

Ivy grinned. “I’m a computer geek. Of course I have a charger!” She dug through her backpack and tossed a charger over to him. He quickly plugged his phone in. He and Ivy were quietly nursing their coffees when the doctor came into the waiting room. Cam stood quickly. “Any updates, Dr. Martin?”

Ivy scrambled out of her chair and went to gently nudge their mother’s shoulder. “Hey Mom, the doctor’s here with an update.”

The doctor walked across the waiting room and sat down in the chair beside their mother once she was awake. “Your husband’s going to be okay, April. Like I said earlier, he had a heart attack, but his vital signs are still stable. He’ll remain in ICU for another three or four days.”

Cam’s mother, April Nash, was a librarian, so she approached everything with methodical, logical questions. Since he and Ivy had arrived during the night at the hospital, April had been emotional, but calm. She immediately started asking the doctor questions.

“When can we see him?”

Dr. Martin smiled. “That’s why I’m here. He can have visitors in about a half hour, but only one at a time and only for a few minutes.”

His mother nodded quickly. Her brown eyes were tired and worried. She looked between Cam and Ivy before turning back to the doctor. “Can you explain how his surgery went?”

Dr. Martin nodded. “He had open-heart surgery. His heart attack occurred because his left anterior descending artery was almost completely blocked. It’s fortunate someone was with him when it occurred because he arrived at the hospital within minutes. I need to be honest and tell you survival rates from the kind of heart attack your husband had are not good if the person doesn’t receive prompt surgical intervention. Fortunately, we were able to clear the blockage and place a stent in the artery. Once he’s able to participate in planning, we’ll need to talk about monitoring the stent and making sure he routinely sees a cardiologist.”

Cam’s mother nodded along and continued asking questions, while Cam’s thoughts spun wild. He was no medical expert, but by chance he knew what it meant for someone to have a blockage in the left anterior descending artery. Those heart attacks were called ‘widow makers’ because of how deadly they were. His father had survived, but he would need to be vigilant going forward. Cam glanced to Ivy whose eyes held the same worry her felt.

Dr. Martin stood and glanced to Cam and Ivy. “Do either of you have any questions for me?”

When they shook their heads in unison, he nodded. “Feel free to page me if you do. A nurse will be down shortly to let you know when you can visit your father.”

At that, Dr. Martin turned and walked away. Cam and Ivy sat down on opposite sides of their mother. Cam looked at his mother. She tucked her brown hair behind her eyes and met his gaze. “I’m fine. You don’t need to keep asking me how I’m doing,” she said firmly.

Cam sighed and ran his hands through his hair. “It would be okay if you weren’t fine, Mom.”

April smiled ruefully. “I know it would. I had some long hours last night where I had a rough patch, but your father’s going to be okay. You just heard Dr. Martin say he would. His recovery will take some time, but he’s okay and that’s all that matters.”

Ivy hooked her hand in her mother’s elbow. “That is all that matters. We just want you to know you don’t have to be strong for us. If you need someone to lean on, we’re both here.”

April looked from Ivy to Cam and smiled. “I know you are.”

***

A while later, Cam stood by his father’s bed. His father was asleep. His mother had visited first and then Ivy. The nurses had explained his father would only come in and out of consciousness due to the lingering effects of the anesthesia after a six-hour surgery. Cam’s eyes traveled over the tubes hooked up to his father. Eric Nash, Sr. was a stately looking man, even when he looked vulnerable in his hospital bed. His hair had faded to gray and, at the moment, his skin had a grayish hue. Cam’s heart felt heavy. He was beyond relieved it looked like his father would be okay, but this scare was significant. When he’d mentioned to Ivy they might want to talk with their parents about planning, it hadn’t quite sunk in for him how serious his father’s heart attack had been.

The sliding doors into his father’s ICU room opened, and a nurse poked her head through the door. “Another minute, okay?”

Cam nodded and stood up. He curled his hand around his father’s, which lay limply on the edge of the bed. He gave it a quick squeeze. “Love you, Dad,” he whispered before he stepped away and quietly left the room. He walked down the hall to a small alcove where a vending machine held snacks, along with an automated coffee maker. He fed a dollar bill in the coffee machine and waited for the beep to indicate his coffee cup was full. He added a dash of creamer and headed back to the waiting room.

He rounded the corner and almost choked on the sip of coffee he’d just taken. Ginger stood beside Ivy. She turned toward the doorway when he stepped into the room. Her dark hair was mussed, and her blue eyes looked worried. They stood frozen and stared at each other. Ivy hurried out of the room, glancing over her shoulder when she reached the door. “I’ll be in the cafeteria with Mom.”

Cam’s heart hammered against his ribs. Ginger tucked a loose lock of hair behind her ear. “I left you a few messages, but when I didn’t hear back, I got worried. So…I decided to come down here. I hope it’s okay. Ivy told me your father’s okay.”

Cam nodded and took a step in her direction. He wanted to wrap her in his arms and just hold on. She’d stunned him by showing up here, but he didn’t know what she wanted. It occurred to him that he hadn’t even checked his phone since he plugged it in for charging a while ago. He’d forgotten all about it. The long night had fogged his thoughts. All the feelings that had been tumbling through his heart in the days since Ginger asked for a break had come into sharp focus during the hours of his flight down here. He loved Ginger and all he wanted was a chance to be with her. Yet, he didn’t think he could do anything with her in half-measures. He could wait, but he couldn’t try to fumble along if he didn’t know where she stood. To see her here, in the antiseptic environment of the hospital while he felt worn, weary and could most definitely use a shower, wasn’t ideal—not when his heart longed to pull her close and hold her.

Ginger bit her lip and clasped and unclasped her hands in front of her. “Cam, I’m, uh, I’m sorry I shut you out like that. I just…” She paused and crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m sorry. Maybe now isn’t the best time to talk. I didn’t come here to make this all about me. I just wanted to be here for you. How are you?”

“I’m fine. It’s been a long night, but my dad’s gonna be okay. That’s all I could ask for.” He paused and took a gulp of coffee, trying to gather his frayed nerves. Her eyes coasted over him, but she was quiet. He needed to know what she’d meant to say when she first started talking. “Now’s a good time to talk,” he said, his voice coming out gruff.

She looked puzzled. “What do you mean?”

He took another swallow of coffee. He needed the caffeine to keep his brain functioning. His heart was still pounding and anxiety was coiling in his stomach. With his emotions bouncing all over the place, he was grasping for an anchor inside, but he was coming up short. “You started to say something and then said you didn’t come here to make it about you. My dad’s okay, so I’m okay. I want to hear what you were about to tell me.”

“Oh.” One word and then silence hung in the room. He felt it with every beat of his heart, but he waited.

***

Ginger’s pulse raced madly and her stomach clenched with anxiety. She’d flown down here, her thoughts clouded with worry, driven only by the urge to be by Cam’s side and make sure he was okay. He stood across from her in the hospital waiting room. The walls were a soft cream color and the chairs varying pastel shades, everything intended to be soothing and unobtrusive. Inside, she was a wild mess—her feelings swirling madly. Cam wanted her to finish what she’d meant to say and fear clogged her throat. She was nearly torn inside between desperately wanting to fling her arms around him and tell him she loved him and wanting to turn and run away. Her feelings were too big, too encompassing. His broken message had left too many gaps for her to feel the certainty she craved.

She looked over at him. His golden-brown hair glinted under the bright hospital lights. His amber eyes were fatigued, yet they held her fast in his intent gaze. Something settled within her. She couldn’t wait for guarantees. If Cam had the courage to tell her he loved her without knowing how she felt, she could at least return the favor—especially since he’d already offered her the gift of his feelings. Her heart, or perhaps her guarded, slightly cynical mind, wanted a certainty that life didn’t offer, so she had to take the chance. She took a breath and dredged up her courage.

“I meant to say I’m sorry for how I handled things the other day.” She paused for a breath and to consider how to explain herself to him. It occurred to her it had been a mere four days ago when he’d stood in the snow by her car and told her he loved her. It felt like eons had passed because she’d missed him so. The worn grooves of worry and rumination in her mind seemed just that—worn. The walls she’d put up around her heart had gotten in her way with Cam. While his love may not come with guarantees, no one’s did and she knew he would never hurt her on purpose. “I got scared because you matter so much to me. I love you. It scared me because I never meant to love anyone again. With you, it’s so much more than I ever imagined. I’m not making excuses, but I want you to understand why I…well, why I freaked out. I did need a little space to get my head on straight, but I wish I’d just talked to you instead of shutting you out.”