Falling for Her (10 page)

She brought up her legs, wrapped her arms around them, and buried her face against her knees. “I’m sorry.”

The words were whispered, making him want to comfort her, but until he knew what caused her distress, he wasn’t sure what to say. “Do you want to talk about it?”

The back of her head shook vigorously. “You should probably go.”

He probably should, but much to his surprise, he didn’t want to. Her shoulder-length hair fell forward, exposing a soft expanse of neck. As he stared at the spot he’d like to press his mouth over, he tried to recall exactly when she’d flipped out on him. When he’d undressed, she’d eyed him like he was a piece of candy, her gaze roaming over him. Her eyes had widened when she’d lowered them to his erection. That was the moment she’d turned green, and why was that?

She claimed she wasn’t a virgin, but she sure as hell acted like one. And when he got home, he was going to have to wash his mouth out with soap. The woman was annihilating his self-imposed rules, one at a time. Not that it was her fault he reacted to her the way he did. There was just something about her that called to him . . . to a time when he’d been on top of the world.

It was something he needed to think about, but later. What he really wanted was the reason she’d gotten sick at the sight of him. He almost snorted. Not the reaction he was used to, even from the women Jake referred to as “Saint’s nuns.” It wasn’t until Sugar, though, that he realized just how colorless they were.

Here goes nothing, he thought as he considered his first question. “You have been with a man before, right?”

She nodded.

It appeared he was doomed to have a conversation with the back of her head. “So you’ve seen a man’s penis?”

She held up one finger.

One man? The part of him that was pleased with her answer worried him, something else he’d think about later.

“If you’ve seen a man aroused, then why did looking at me upset you?” She muttered something he didn’t understand, and he leaned forward. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t hear you.”

“You’re so big.”

His ego certainly liked her opinion of him, and although he was an inch or two over standard issue, most women were happy about that. “I’m pretty much the same as most men.”

A vigorous shake of her head accompanied her hand rising above her shoulders, her thumb and index finger spread apart.

“Four inches? You thought a man aroused was only four inches?” Her towel slipped down her back, and as he waited for her answer, he narrowed his eyes at a faded scar that looked suspiciously like a whiplash.

What in God’s name had been done to her?

CHAPTER TEN

S
uga
r was mortified. By the shock in his voice, it appeared she was clueless about a man’s appendage. If true, then Rodney was defective. The thought sent a surge of satisfaction through her. Was that the reason he’d used the big vibrators—and other things she tried to forget about—on her with a roughness she knew was meant to hurt, and in places she could never speak of?

When she’d spied the size of Jamie, memories of her time at Rodney’s hands had slammed into her, making her ill. Stupidly, it now seemed, she’d thought all men were small there and that a kind lover wouldn’t hurt her. But if men were normally that big, then she wanted no part—especially
that
part—of them, even one belonging to Jamie.

Surely he’d realize there was nothing for him here and leave.

“Answer me, Sugar. Have you been living in a cave . . . never watched a dirty movie, read a sexy book?”

His finger traced the scar, and she willed herself not to shudder. If he asked about it, she ha
d a story ready. The tone of his voice commanded her to answer, yet there was an underlying gentleness in his words and in his touch. She didn’t want to talk about Rodney with him, not really. It would be like opening the door and inviting evil into the room. Yet, she sensed some small part of Jamie cared, and the temptation to share something of her life—a very edited version—with him was irresistible.

He pulled her back against his chest and combed his fingers through her hair. Her eyes closed in the sheer pleasure of a man touching her with kindness.

“Talk to me.”

“You’re a stubborn man, Jamie Turner.” The expelled breath from his chuckle blew warm on her neck, and she sighed.

“So I’ve been told.”

He went silent after that, and she had the feeling he’d sit there all night if that’s what it took. She reached for a pillow, brought it to her chest, and hugged it—body armor of a sort. As she considered what to tell him, he continued to massage her scalp and she came close to purring. His touch calmed her, and she realized she needed to guard her heart because he could steal it if she wasn’t careful.

“I-I was in a . . . relationship for a few years. He’s the only man I’ve ever been with or seen naked. No, I’ve never watched a dirty movie, and yes, I’ve read sexy romance stories. I always thought . . . I just thought they exaggerated the size of a man’s erection. You know, for the story.”

God, she sounded like a country bumpkin. Never mind Rodney had told her women practically drooled when they saw his junk. By the number of times he’d boasted about his prowess in the bedroom, she should have suspected he was lying his damn face off.

Jamie’s hands moved down to her shoulders, kneading the tense muscles, and she leaned forward on a moan, giving him better access. As she hugged the pillow, luxuriating in the massage, she couldn’t help but wonder why he hadn’t left. Why wasn’t he bored silly? There must be women in his life who could show him a better time than what he was getting from her. Although, after meeting his girlfriend, maybe not.

Which begged the question. “Why aren’t you with your girlfriend, instead of here playing masseur?”

His hands stilled. “She’s not my girlfriend.”

The relief at hearing that made her smile into the pillow. Not that there was a chance of her ever being his girlfriend. Not only would he not want someone like her with all her hang-ups, but with her new knowledge of men’s anatomy, she wanted nothing to do with them.

“Let me see if I have this straight,” he said, his hands gliding down her arms, then back up, causing her skin to break out in goose bumps. “Because I’m bigger than what you’ve ever experienced, you think I’ll hurt you? So much so that it made you lose your dinner?”

In a nutshell, but it was the things Rodney had done to Hannah that had her on her knees, hanging her head in the toilet. She nodded.

He pulled her against him, palmed her cheek, and turned her face up to his. “I promise you on the SEAL oath . . . which I’d uphold with my life, that I’ll never hurt you. Will you let me prove to you that sex can be a wondrous thing?”

She didn’t believe him. “I don’t—”

“With just my hands for now. If you don’t like something, or if you think I’m about to hurt you, all you have to do is say stop.”

Hannah wanted him to go far, far away, which gave Sugar the motivation to agree. If she didn’t do this with him, she would forever be the cowering, frightened girl she’d tried to banish. She glanced over her shoulder and nodded. He must have seen the surrender in her eyes because he smiled, and it was the sweetest, kindest one a man had ever given her.

“Remember, all you have to do is say stop.”

“Okay.” That alone was more than Rodney had ever given her, and she made a little more room in a corner of her heart that would always belong to Jamie.

“Lean your head back on my chest. If you can, close your eyes and just feel.”

He let go of her face, and she settled against him, trying to ignore the panic building
in her stomach. He wouldn’t hurt her, would even stop if she asked. He’d promised.

“I’m going to take the pillow away, but you can keep the towel on.”

He pried her fingers loose, then the pillow disappeared. Not sure what to do with her hands, she folded them over her stomach, then moved them higher, then to her sides.

“Put them here.”

Taking a peek, she saw he’d put them on his legs, just above his knees. “I’m ready,” she said, striving for braveness.

He chuckled. “No, you’re not. You’re shaking like a leaf, but that’s okay. If I’m as good at this as I pride myself on, you’ll soon be shaking for a good reason.”

Sugar doubted it, but if true, it would be a welcomed miracle. “What do you want me to do?”

“Other than hush and close your eyes, nothing. Just feel, Sugar. That’s all I want you to do.”

Her grip tightened on his legs as she waited for him to invade her vagina. Wasn’t that the goal of every man? Surprising her, he brushed the tips of his fingers across her forehead, then trailed them down her cheeks before his thumb traced the outline of her mouth the way he’d done earlier.

As he continued his gentle exploration of her face, her tension slowly seeped away. What he was doing was nice. Her head swayed in a soothing rhythm with each inhale of air he took into his chest. If he would just do that all night, she might be able to sleep without the nightmares.

Sooner than she was ready, his hands lowered down her neck to the swell of her breasts. When she tensed again, he shushed her. She bit down on her bottom lip to keep from telling him to stop. Twisting her nipples until she was sure they would fall off had been one of Rodney’s favorite punishment games. One of many.

“You have beautiful breasts, Sugar. I’m just going to loosen the towel and slip my hand inside. You’ll like it, I promise.”

As he continued to talk, telling her what he was doing or about to do, she began to relax again. How he knew it helped to hear him explain, she didn’t know, but he was right. She did like what he was doing.

“Feel how your nipple is peaking when I touch it?” He flicked a fingernail across the tip. “Now I’m going to pinch it a little.”

“No! Don’t.” Her nipples had experienced more than their fair share of abuse and she didn’t think they could handle anymore.

His hand stilled. “My intention is not to hurt you, sweetheart,” he murmured, his mouth close to her ear. “It’s a kind of pleasure most women enjoy, but I promised I wouldn’t do anything you didn’t want me to.” He returned to caressing her breasts.

Stop being a coward, Sugar.
It was a night to conquer her fears, and he was a man who could help her do it. He’d sworn on the SEAL oath no less that he wouldn’t hurt her. Even if he hadn’t, she still trusted him, knowing he wasn’t like Rodney.

“Okay, you can pinch me, but just one time.” There was no way she was going to like it.

“You sure?”

Not really. She fisted the material of his pants. “Yes.”

Okay, so she was wrong. The pinch had been a kind of strange pleasure pain. Not the kind of hurt Rodney had inflicted on her.
No more thinking about Rodney, damn it. Stop comparing everything Jamie does to that bastard.

“Do it again,” she surprised herself by saying.

His mouth was now pressed to the side of her face, and she felt his lips curve in a smile—likely a pleased-with-himself one. Well, he should be. He’d taken her further than she’d expected, and he wasn’t done yet. For the first time since he’d begun, excitement tickled her stomach.

“Have you ever played with yourself, Sugar?”

“No.” Why bother? She was dead in all the places that gave a woman pleasure.

He took her right hand and brought it under the towel, pressing her fingers to her right breast. “You play with that one, and I’ll concentrate on this one. Let’s see which one of us your girls like the best.”

Even though embarrassed heat traveled up her neck to her cheeks, she didn’t snatch her hand away. He’d made it a game of competition, something fun. She mirrored his actions, and damn, it did feel good.

“I’m going to spread the towel apart so you can watch our hands. Okay?”

When she nodded, he kissed the top of her head, as if pleased with her.

“Open your eyes, sweetheart,” he breathed into her ear. “This is too beautiful to miss.”

She obeyed and saw his large hand, with its elegantly long fingers, strumming over her nipple as if he were playing a musical instrument. Compared to his, her hand looked small and hesitant.

“Put your palm underneath and test its weight. Like this.” He demonstrated. “How does that feel?” he asked when she held her breast.

“Good. Soft.”

“Oh, yeah. Soft,” he agreed.

It did feel good when she did it, but nothing like the way her left breast felt in his hand. As he molded the shape to fit his palm, he flicked his thumb over her nipple. She shivered, and hot liquid pooled deep in her belly.

Amazing! She was actually getting wet. She’d read about that happening to women in every love scene of every book she’d devoured. Never had she expected it to happen to her; she had pretty much thought it was pure fiction.

“You like what I’m doing. Don’t deny it.” He followed the declaration by swirling his tongue in the whorl of her ear.

Dear God. She wanted to tell him she hated it, but it would be a lie. Her nipples pebbled, her clit throbbed, and her mind went blank.

“I think you want me to touch you here,” he said as he danced his fingers over the skin of her stomach to the edge of her pubic hair. “Right here, in fact.” He pressed the tip of his index finger to her clit and stilled.

She wanted to yell at him to stop, that she couldn’t do any more. But he’d made her want something she didn’t quite understand, and her hips rose to meet his touch.

“Oh, yeah,” he murmured. “Thank you.”

He was thanking her? Shouldn’t it be the other way around? If he knew what the night meant to her, he would probably take a hike faster than a jackrabbit could flee from a circling hawk.

“Come for me, Sugar.” The finger playing with her clit slipped inside her, his thumb replacing it.

He’d made a sneak attack—had been telling her everything he was going to do until then. If she’d known he was about to touch her there, she would have told him to stop. But any words of protest died in her throat.

As he explored her and his thumb continued its relentless assault, a primal moan crawled its way up her chest, past her throat, and out her mouth before she could stop it. A raw, low humming sound from Jamie answered her.

Every nerve ending in her body felt electrified, and she wasn’t sure what to do with herself. A part of her tried to fight against the sense that she was going to irreparably shatter into so many pieces that she’d never be the same again. But she couldn’t fight the intense pleasure building deep inside. As it spread its way through her, she pressed back against Jamie, needing him to hold her.

“I’m here,” he said, as if he understood.

That was all it took, and a feeling such as she’d never known crashed through her like a tidal wave, and the force of it consumed her. She said words, but they sounded like gibberish to her ears.

As she floated back to earth, marveling that she’d finally had her first orgasm, Jamie held her tight against him. Although what had just happened had been all for her, his chest heaved as he drew air into his lungs. That he was turned on simply by pleasuring her sent her heart into a tumble.

“Wow,” she said once she could breathe again.

“Yeah, wow.” He pulled her hair away from her face and kissed the corner of her eye. “I wish you could see how beautiful you are when you come, sweetheart. There’s so much passion inside you, and I could spend all night proving it to you.”

She felt something poking her in her back and reached behind her, her hand freezing when she realized it was him. His erection jerked against her fingers, and she snatched her hand away. Oh, God, she wasn’t ready for
that.
But it would be selfish to refuse him after the intense pleasure he’d given her.