Falling for Mr. December (11 page)

This was serious.

And this was his nephew who'd had osteosarcoma.

Oh, help. She really, really needed to tell him about her past, but she still hadn't found the right time or the right words to tell him.

There was a wary look in his eyes; clearly he was half expecting her to refuse. It would probably be sensible to refuse, yet at the same time she didn't want to hurt him. How could she throw the offer back in his face? She had a feeling this wasn't the kind of thing he suggested very often.

‘Actually,' she said, ‘I like kids very much. I have two nieces and two nephews myself, and my family's really close. How old are the boys?'

‘Xander's twelve and Ned's eight.'

‘Good ages,' she said. Stupid. Any age was a good age. ‘My nephews are very slightly older.' And now she was babbling. Focus, Sammy, she told herself. ‘Maybe we could go to the park if it's a nice day, or somewhere like the Natural History Museum if it's wet.'

‘That's a great idea,' he said. ‘I'll pick you up.'

Tell him. Tell him now.

‘Nick...'

‘Yes?'

For a split second, she glimpsed vulnerability in his face.

No, she couldn't tell him right now.

‘What?' he asked.

She thought on her feet. ‘Please don't think I'm being nosey here, but I just need to know if there are any topics of conversation I ought to steer clear of on Saturday?'

He nodded. ‘Xander's a bit sensitive about his leg. And we don't talk about their father.'

She winced inwardly. ‘I take it from that, he let them down?'

‘Big time,' he said, his face tightening. ‘Mandy doesn't want anyone to badmouth him in front of the boys, in case he ever decides to come back into their lives, but...' He looked grim. ‘I can't ever see that happening. Warren the Weasel walked out on them the day they got Xander's diagnosis, eighteen months ago, and they haven't seen him since.'

Sammy sucked in a breath, shocked beyond measure. She could just about get her head round the reasons why someone might not be able to cope with their partner's diagnosis and walk away, but to do something like that to their child... ‘That's pretty rough on your sister and the boys.'

‘Yeah.' His lip curled. ‘Warren's the most selfish man I've ever met. He hasn't even sent the boys a birthday or Christmas card since he left. Mandy's been trying to keep the lines of communication open and she takes them to see his parents. Warren's mother always makes excuses for him, saying he's “sensitive”—' Nick made exaggerated quote marks with his fingers as he said the words ‘—but he's certainly not sensitive to his sons' feelings. Or to his ex-wife's. The only people he cares about are me, myself and I.' He blew out a breath. ‘Thankfully Mandy had the sense to divorce him for unreasonable behaviour, and he had the sense not to dispute it.'

With a hotshot barrister as an ex-brother-in-law, Warren would have been very stupid indeed to try to contest a divorce petition, Sammy thought. And it sounded as if Nick seriously disliked the man.

‘I'm sorry,' she said.

Nick shrugged. ‘It's not your fault.'

‘I know, but still a horrible situation for you all to deal with.' She took a deep breath. ‘And that's empathy speaking, not pity.' She'd had enough pity after her diagnosis to last a lifetime; no way would she ever give pity to someone else.

He drew her into his arms and held her close. ‘Thank you. It's appreciated.' He sighed and brushed his mouth against her hair. ‘We're not very good at marriage in my family.'

So was this the reason why he was single? Because he'd been so badly bitten that he didn't want to risk falling in love again? Not sure what to say, she stroked his face.

‘Sorry. I shouldn't burden you with my woes,' he said, looking guilty.

‘No, that's fine. And it's not going any further than me.'

He kissed her lightly. ‘I know. And thanks. Again.' He grimaced. ‘I guess you ought to know what you're getting yourself into. My parents split up when I was seventeen. My sister—well, I've told you about the weasel she married. And I'm divorced as well. So we're not a good bet, the Kennedys.'

‘Or maybe you haven't met the right person for you yet.' She worked it out. He would've been in the middle of his exams when his parents split up. A really vulnerable, impressionable time.

‘Maybe,' he said. ‘Dad kind of buried himself in work after my mother left.'

Not ‘Mum', she noticed. It sounded as if he wasn't close to his mother. Did he blame her for the divorce? But asking felt too much like prying.

‘Do you see much of your parents?' she asked carefully.

‘Dad lives in Brussels, so we don't see him that often.' He gave her a rueful smile. ‘He specialises in European law. I guess he hoped I'd follow in his footsteps, but I like London too much.'

‘What about your mother?'

He shrugged. ‘She's even further away, in Cornwall.'

She frowned. ‘How can Cornwall be further away from London than Brussels?'

‘It's quicker to get the Eurostar to Brussels than to drive to the far depths of Cornwall,' he said.

She had a feeling that there was a bit more to it than that, but pushing would be unfair. ‘So they don't get to see much of their grandchildren, then?'

‘No. Which is a shame, because Mandy could've done with their support after Warren left. Dad's very busy in Brussels, and our mother has her B&B to think about. But Mandy knows she can always rely on me, even though I'm the baby of the family.' He smiled. ‘And it's not a burden—not at all. Xander and Ned are nice kids. Plus it means I have a cast-iron excuse to see all the superhero films at the cinema, because I can take them.'

‘Sounds good. I do something similar with my nephews and nieces,' she said lightly.

Guilt seeped through her. Nick had been open with her. She really ought to tell him what he was getting into, too. The spectre of cancer, fertility issues, the fact she wasn't really a whole woman...the Sammy Thompson he'd met was a fake.

But the words dried up in her throat when she tried to utter them.

She'd tell him.

Soon.

And was it so wrong to want to feel like a normal person without complications for just that little bit longer, instead of turning into Sammy-the-cancer-survivor?

CHAPTER EIGHT

S
ATURDAY
DAWNED
BRIGHT
and sunny. Although it was the beginning of October it was still really warm.

Nick called Sammy's landline. ‘We're outside in the car,' he said.

‘Great. I'm coming out to join you,' she told him.

To her secret amusement, although he was wearing jeans he was also wearing another of those white handmade shirts; she guessed he was always going to have that touch of formality.

The boys were both sitting in the back of the car. Sammy could see the family resemblance to Nick in their dark hair and dark eyes. She was curious as to how he was going to introduce her to them: as his friend or as his girlfriend?

‘Boys, this is my friend Sammy,' he said. ‘Sammy, these are my nephews, Xander and Ned.'

Friend, then—which was sensible. Especially given the situation with their father; Nick obviously wouldn't want to introduce the boys to a string of ‘aunties', feeling that they'd had enough change in their life already. She could understand that.

The boys chorused hello, both looking slightly shy.

Sammy smiled at them. ‘It's very nice to meet you both. Nick says we're going to the park—is that OK with you?'

Ned looked thrilled. ‘They have a really cool zip-wire at the park.'

‘That sounds like fun,' she said. ‘Are adults allowed on it?'

‘You like zip-wires?' Ned asked, his eyes round with surprise.

‘I love them,' she said. ‘Race you?'

‘You're on,' Ned said with a grin.

Nick drove them to a park that the boys clearly knew well. There was a play area with a massive slide wide enough to take four people at a time and a low zip-wire, and the boys spent most of their time there. Sammy raced Nick down the slide and joined the boys on the zip-wire.

Then she noticed a stall selling water pistols and nudged Nick. ‘My brothers, sister and I loved that sort of thing when I was a kid. I bet the boys will, too.'

He raised his eyebrows. ‘You're challenging us to a water fight?'

‘Ah, no. I was thinking me and the boys versus you.'

‘Three against one? That's totally unfair.' But he was laughing, so she was pretty sure he was up for it. ‘Where are we going to get water from?' he asked.

She gestured to the kiosk at the other side of the playing field. ‘I'm pretty sure they'll sell bottled water. That'll do the job.'

‘Hmm.'

‘Ned, Xander—team huddle,' she said, beckoning the boys over.

‘Team huddle?' they asked, mystified, but went with her.

‘Water fight. Us versus Uncle Nick,' she explained economically. ‘What do you think?'

‘Yeah,' they chorused, each pumping a fist into the air.

She bought four water pistols and two large bottles of still water, and she enjoyed charging round with the boys and doing her best to soak Nick with water. Though she noticed that Xander was looking tired at almost the same time as Nick clearly did, because Nick stopped dead and said, ‘Right, time for a truce.'

‘Not a chance,' she said.

He came over to her and lowered his voice. ‘They've been running around like mad and Xander's in danger of overdoing it. He needs to rest.'

She murmured back, ‘I know. Trust me.' Then she turned to Xander. ‘I've been thinking—with three of us, we're getting in each other's way. I reckon we need a master strategist to direct us, and I think out of the three of us you'd be the best one to do that.'

The boy looked slightly suspicious. ‘Master strategist? Really?'

‘Really,' she confirmed. ‘Come and sit down here by this tree so you've got the best view of the field. Now, imagine you're the shepherd, Ned and I are the sheepdogs, and Uncle Nick's the big fat sheep who's about to get a bath.'

‘And?'

‘So you need to direct us,' she said. ‘And if you do it right, then we win and your Uncle Nick gets totally soaked.'

Xander stopped looking suspicious and grinned. ‘Let's do it.'

She and Ned followed Xander's shouted directions, and finally managed to soak Nick from head to foot.

‘OK, I surrender,' Nick said, laughing.

And, with that white shirt and his jeans plastered to his skin so the outline of his pectorals and gluteus maximus were perfectly defined, he looked utterly gorgeous. Sammy had already noticed how many female heads he was turning during the water fight, and several more seemed to be showing interest in a hot, wet man.

‘We won, Sammy!' Ned crowed. He rushed over to her and hugged her.

‘That's because we had a great strategy director,' she said, and high-fived Xander and then Ned, who both beamed at her.

‘Not that brilliant,' Nick said calmly. Before Sammy realised what he was planning to do, he'd picked up all four water pistols and soaked her. ‘Revenge,' he said with a grin, ‘is sweet.'

‘Oh, you monster—you'd already surrendered so that's totally cheating,' she said, laughing. ‘For that you can buy me an ice cream, and I'm going to sit down here and get Xander to protect me.' She took one of the water pistols from Nick, refilled it, and handed it to Xander. ‘You're my bodyguard.'

‘Cool,' Xander said.

‘Can we have ice creams, too? A whippy one with a chocolate flake?' Ned asked hopefully, adding belatedly, ‘Please?'

‘Whippy ice cream with a chocolate flake—is there any other kind?' Sammy teased.

‘Hint taken.' Nick rolled his eyes. ‘Come on, Ned. Let's go and queue up.'

Xander had gone quiet, she noticed. ‘Are you OK?' she asked softly when Nick and Ned had left.

The boy sighed. ‘I just wish... I hate my stupid leg. I know you're just being nice about letting me rest.'

‘Hey. We needed you as our strategy director,' she said. ‘And now to protect me against sneaky water attacks from Nick.'

‘I'm twelve, not a baby like Ned—I knew what you were doing. But my leg had started hurting a bit so I went along with it.' Then he glanced at her. ‘Sorry, Uncle Nick and Mum would be mad at me for being rude to you.'

‘You're not being rude, just honest—and if your leg starts aching of course it's going to make you feel fed up and grumpy.'

‘It aches nearly all the time,' Xander said with a sigh. ‘They had to take part of my bone away, so there's a metal thing in my leg they have to expand when the rest of my bones grow.'

‘Meaning you don't have to have lots of operations, just the one? That's really good,' she said.

He blinked at her. ‘Uncle Nick says you know someone who had what I did. That's why you photographed him and everyone else for the calendar.'

‘I do.' She paused. This was a huge risk—but it might help the boy to feel a bit happier. ‘Want to know a secret?'

‘What sort of secret?'

‘A really, really big secret. But you have to promise not to tell anyone,' she warned.

‘Cross my heart and hope to die,' he said, making the sign of a cross over his heart with his fingertip.

Sammy glanced over towards Nick. He and Ned were in the queue at the ice cream van so they probably couldn't see, but even so she shifted so she could hide her legs from Nick's view in case he turned round, and pushed up the left leg of her jeans to her knee.

Xander's eyes went wide. ‘You've got a scar in the same place as me.'

‘Yes, and for exactly the same reason,' she said softly. ‘But I was a little bit older than you—I was sixteen when I had my op.'

‘Did it hurt?'

‘My leg?' At his nod, she said softly, ‘After the op, yes.'

‘Does it hurt now?'

‘No.'

‘And you had to have more than one op?'

‘Luckily not, because I'd pretty much stopped growing at sixteen—but some of my friends did.' She swallowed hard. ‘This is your and my secret, Xander, OK?'

‘OK,' Xander said.

‘Good. And it's important to do your exercises, even when they're boring and even when they hurt a little bit.'

‘Why?' he asked.

‘Because it means you get strong,' she said. ‘And, next time you think you can't do something and your leg's holding you back, remember that I go all over the world in my job. It doesn't hold me back.'

‘Have you been to Australia?' he challenged.

‘And America, and Japan.' She paused. ‘And I climbed Mount Kilimanjaro three years ago.'

His eyes went wide. ‘Really? You climbed a mountain? Even after...you know?'

‘Yup. I can show you the photographs. I went as the team photographer, but obviously I had to go where they went, so that meant climbing with them.'

He looked impressed. ‘That's
so
cool.'

‘I know. Though I guess I should admit that it isn't the climb that's the hard thing—it's not like rock-climbing where you see people sticking an axe into the cliff or what have you and hauling themselves up. It's the altitude that makes it difficult. The air's really thin, so you have to walk incredibly slowly or you can't breathe and get dizzy. And sleeping on the hard ground for five or six nights really makes you ache all over. But it was worth it. The views were amazing.' She high-fived him. ‘And if I can do anything I like after having osteosarcoma, then so can you. Never, ever let your cancer define you. Because you're more than that.'

For a second, his eyes glistened with tears, but he blinked them away. ‘Thanks, Sammy.' His voice was a little hoarse.

‘Any time,' she said. ‘And any time you want to talk to me, you can—I'll keep whatever you tell me confidential. Uncle Nick's got my phone and email.'

‘Thanks—it's really nice having someone who understands.'

Sammy had the strongest feeling that he wanted to tell her something. So she waited, knowing from experience as a photographer that people always filled a silence if you gave them the time.

And he did.

‘Uncle Nick always makes me stop and rest before I'm really ready.'

‘It's because he loves you,' she said gently, ‘and he worries about you, and he's scared you'll overdo it and give yourself a setback.' Just what her family had said to her, when she'd finally lost her temper with everyone and yelled about how being wrapped in cotton wool drove her crazy.

‘But I won't overdo it—I'm
twelve
, not stupid.'

‘He knows that,' she said, ‘but sometimes when you love someone and you're scared for them, that kind of stops you thinking straight.'

‘So what do I do?'

‘Tell him,' she said simply, knowing that she was the biggest hypocrite in the world—because she hadn't told Nick what he really ought to know, had she? ‘Sit down with him and tell him what you told me. Tell him you're doing all your exercises and you want to get strong, so you're not going to overdo it because you know that'll mean you have to wait even longer before you're fully recovered. Promise him you'll always say when you're tired or you've had enough, and then he'll relax a bit.'

‘Is that what you did?'

‘Eventually. After a big fight.' And even now she knew she sometimes overdid the independence bit, but she couldn't help it.

Xander nodded. ‘I love Uncle Nick. He's a better dad to me than...' He dragged in a breath. ‘I'm not supposed to talk about that, either.'

‘That your dad left?'

He nodded. ‘I hate him. He left us when Mum really needed him. She still cries when she doesn't think I can hear her. I used to think it was my fault for getting sick, but Uncle Nick said it wasn't that at all. I once heard him call my dad a—well, he's right, but Mum would kill me if I used that word.'

Sammy's heart bled for him. She still couldn't get her head round how anyone could be so selfish as to put themselves before their child, especially when their child really needed them. She gave him a hug. ‘Xander, if I had a magic wand, I'd fix this—but people are complicated. Maybe your dad was just really scared.'

‘Uncle Nick's scared. Mum's scared. Ned's scared. But they didn't leave.' He lifted his head. ‘Did your dad leave you when you got cancer?'

‘Nope. But some of my boyfriends did.'

‘Because they were scared?'

‘Something like that.'

‘Then they were weasels and you deserve better,' Xander said. ‘That's what Uncle Nick says about Dad to Mum.'

‘When he thinks you can't hear?'

The boy nodded. ‘And because she'd yell at him for using the other word.'

She ruffled his hair. ‘I take it they don't know you have ears like a bat, then.'

Xander smiled. ‘No. I sometimes think I'd like to be Batman, though.'

‘You and me both. Though I'd rather be the Black Widow.'

‘In the Avengers? Yeah. She's awesome.'

They were still laughing when Nick and Ned came back with the ice creams.

‘What's so funny?' Nick asked.

‘We're talking about superhero movies,' Sammy said.

‘Sammy wants to be the Black Widow,' Xander informed him.

Nick stood so that the boys couldn't see him and mouthed, ‘That works for me—she's hot.'

Sammy had a hard time keeping a straight face and dealing with the rush of heat that went through her.

‘I want to be Spiderman,' Ned said.

‘And I'm Batman,' Xander said. ‘Who would you be, Uncle Nick?'

He sighed. ‘You've already bagsied both my favourites.'

‘You can be Robin,' Xander said kindly.

Nick shook his head. ‘No. I think I'll be Iron Man.'

Sammy shifted so that only Nick could see her face, caught his eye, and mouthed, ‘Works for me—
he's
hot.' She had the satisfaction of seeing colour slash across Nick's cheeks. Yeah. Two could play at that game.