Falling for Summer (8 page)

“I miss you, too, Summer,” he says, and I can hear the longing in his voice. “I can’t wait to end this filming so I can get back to see you and be with you. Being up here in Vancouver without you is so hard.”

“Then come out here, Astor.”

“I wish I can, but because of the weather, the entire production is behind schedule, and the producers are trying to make up for the lost time with these long days.” Astor sighs. “It’s only a few more days, Summer. Then I’ll be back home, and we can hang out more.”

“That’ll be nice,” I say. It will be, but I know how busy Astor is, and that right now he’ll have to be gearing up for a tour and television appearances to promote his film and television show. We’ll be lucky if we can spend one day together uninterrupted.

“I promise to spend more time with you, Summer,” he says. “I’m so sorry I can’t be there with you today on your birthday, but I’ll make it up to you. I swear.”

I’m about to say, “Okay,” but Drew, who is sitting on my bed, his shirt still lying open from when we got hot and heavy, gets up from the bed and begins buttoning up his shirt. As he’s doing it, with a look of frustration on his face, I can’t help thinking how close I came to being with Drew. Especially how much I want to.

Drew has finished buttoning up his shirt and now he’s tucking it into his pants, and I see that his shirt is lopsided because he missed one of the buttons. He catches my eyes on him and gestures at his watch. We still have a dinner date to go to, and I know Drew is hungry. Even for real food, not just for me.

Without thinking about it, I go over to him, with one hand holding my phone while my other hand reaches out to pull his shirt up. I’m unbuttoning his shirt when Drew gives a surprise laugh and says, “What are you doing, Summer?”

“What?” I say, trying to straighten out his shirt so I can fix it, get the buttons aligned so Drew doesn’t embarrass himself when we go out for dinner.

“My shirt,” Drew says. “Why are you unbuttoning my shirt like this? Do you want to continue where we left off?” his lips curls into a wicked smile.

“Summer?” Astor says from the phone. “Is that Drew? Is he there with you?”

“Yes,” I say.

Drew licks his lips then and reaches out to brush my hair aside from my face. “I’d like that.”

“So Drew’s there with you,” Astor says. His voice has become agitated, and there’s a sense of worry in it. “I thought he’s back in San Francisco. Is the whole gang there? Rachel? Is she there?”

“No,” I say. “Only Drew. He came down to check out USC for college, take me out for a birthday dinner, and now he’s spending the rest of his weekend here.”

“Oh.” Astor’s voice drops.

“He got a scholarship to USC to play football,” I say proudly. “Early admissions and early start. He’s thinking of staying here at Aunt Sookie’s.” I smile at Drew, who is now behind me, his hands kneading my back, shoulders, and neck, working out all the tension I have there.

“This is part of your birthday present,” Drew whispers into my ear. His hands are working wonders on me, and when he hit a tight knot at the back of my shoulders, working at loosening it, I let out a groan.

“Summer!” Astor says. “I’m coming out there as soon as I can.”

“No, I’ll be up late tonight,” I say. “Nat’s flying in, too. He owes me a birthday dinner, and he’ll be staying here for Christmas break.”

“Summer…” Astor says. “I know you said you thought we were moving too fast in our relationship so I’ve backed off. I’m not asking you to come out with me to stay while I film, anymore, and I’m not giving you expensive gifts anymore because that’s what you want. But Summer, I love you, and gosh, I don’t want to be having this conversation with you right now over the phone like this. I want to see you and hold you. I want to be there to hold you in my arms and kiss you…I just don’t want you forgetting how much you mean to me.”

“Astor,” my voice is husky now because of several reasons, one of which is because Drew’s hands has moved on from my back to now my legs. He’s using his strong hands to massage my calves, and it feels so sensual. “I don’t want to have this conversation over the phone, too, but since we can’t see each other in person, this is the best way so we can at least hear each other.”

“Summer,” Drew says from below where he is kneeling on his knees in front of me, lifting one of my legs up and placing his lips on the sensitive skin behind my knees. “How about if we skip dinner?”

“Drew…” I say. I want to walk away to some place where I can have total privacy with Astor, but I’m stuck since Drew is holding onto one of my legs, and I’m still wearing practically nothing.

“Astor,” I say. “I’m so sorry you called right now and have to hear all this, but honestly, I can’t be in a committed relationship with you right now. I just can’t. It’s too soon, and I don’t know if I can be everything you want me to be for you right now. I have so much to deal with, and right now, I can’t even think of dealing with anyone else’s issues.”

“Is this really how you feel?” Astor asks. “Because I can take it slow. I don’t want to pressure you into anything you’re not prepared for. You know that, Summer. You understand me so well.”

“Astor,” I take a deep breath. “This is how I really feel. I care for you, and I won’t ever not be there for you, but right now, I can’t be there for you as your girlfriend.”

“Oh God,” Astor says. “I’m losing you. Does it matter if I fly out there tonight and see you? I want to so badly to see you so we can have this conversation in person, not over the phone like this.”

“I know,” I say. “But it won’t matter. I need some time for myself right now, that’s all.”

There’s silence at the other end of the phone for a minute. “Okay,” Astor says. “I see. I’m not going to push it, Summer, but if you change your mind, you know where you can get me.” I hear the phone cut off, and when Drew take it out of my hand to place in his pants pocket, I feel so sad that I’m on the verge of tears. Did I just break up with Astor?

“Drew,” I say leaning into his chest as he steps in front of me. “I think I just broke up with Astor. I don’t know. For months, we’ve seen each other a few times and then besides from me flying up to see him on location, we haven’t spent much time together. I don’t even know if we were together as a couple, although some of the paparazzi who took pictures of us, classified us that way in some of those tabloids.”

“Shhh,” Drew says, bringing one finger to my lips to hush me. “It’s over, and you did it for a reason. Now don’t worry about it and try to relax.”

“I feel so bad, I feel as though I’ve just committed an awful sin. But I can’t stay this way forever, can’t be so nice to everyone, especially to Astor or you or Nat. To be fair. I can’t be this nice girl all the time and try to not hurt anyone’s feelings…” I look at Drew then and say, “When you became Drew, who didn’t care what anyone thinks bad boy Drew, how did it make you feel?”

“Like I can finally listen to what I want, go after what I want?” Drew says. “Only I went to the extreme of that, sometimes hurting those I care about like Rachel and you because of it…so I changed, to be the kind of guy you and Rachel would be proud of.”

“Drew, I do admit to liking the way you are now a lot more because it’s the Drew I remember from happier times, but I’ve always loved you for who you are in any way that you are. Good boy, bad boy, any kind of boy…as long as you’re still Drew.”

Drew gives me a wry smile and asks, “How does it feel to tell Astor how you feel? To be a ‘bad girl’ for the first time and actually be true to your feelings?”

“Relieved,” I say. “But I did care for him a lot, and I still do, only I can’t be in a relationship like that right now, one that’s in the spotlight, high pressure, and stressful. The last thing I need right now is a relationship where I’m in the spotlight too. I want some time alone and to process everything that’s been happening to me, and being in a relationship with Astor like that only complicates things.”

“So what do you want right now?” Drew asks. “What kind of relationship do you want right now?”

“I can’t handle anymore emotions or complications,” I say truthfully. “I wish I can be just like those girls you used to sleep with, Drew, those girls who hand you their number and just have sex with you and have no worries, no entanglements the next day. Someone my mother would say is, a “bad influence.”

“A bad girl,” Drew’s eyes are burning as he stares at my lips and my eyes. “That’s what you want to be?”

“No complications, no worries, just something I see and like…” I realize I’m throwing his words of yesteryear, the same words he used to defend his man-whore ways to Rachel and I months ago, in his face as I say that. “That’s all I want with anyone right now,” I close my eyes thinking out loud.

“Then you are about to get your birthday wish,” Drew says. “You want that kind of relationship with a guy? You want to experience what it’s like to be one of those girls I used to sleep with? Then, you’re going to get both with me,” he says. “I’m not allowing you to have that kind of relationship with anyone else. No one,” he says, “or I’ll rip his head off. I know you, Summer, and I know all about that kind of thing, casual sex and nothing else. It can be complicated and painful, if you get into it without the right expectations. I don’t want you hurt any further than you are right now, and I’m not even sure you should be doing it, but…”

“I don’t know what I’m doing,” I say, “for once, I’m feeling I just need to be someone else other than me. I don’t want to keep feeling all these emotions. I want to shut it off, not feel anything except something good and pleasurable, something that will help me deal with everything while help me stay focus on what I need to do.” I take a hesitant breath and say, “I need to experience nothingness right now, to shut off my mind. Can you help me get there? Can you help me with this, Drew? Bring out this tougher devil-may-care part of me so I can stop caring about everything and everyone?”

Drew looks conflicted at first, but when I take his hands in mine, and look up into his eyes to read what he is thinking, he stands very still at first before he says, “Your birthday wish is my command. I’ll help you, Summer, I’ll help you in anyway I can, even if I have to lose myself to do it.” He grabs me by the waist then and easily carries me to my bed where he drops me on top. With a big grin on his face, as though he’s just won the lottery of life, he slides on top of me on the bed so that his arms are holding him up inches from me, and it shows off his biceps and muscles from head to waist in a way that has me staring. “Like what you see?” Drew asks.

“Drew!” I laugh. “I can’t say no.”

“Good because it’s mutual,” he says, his eyes taking me all in. “And the first rule of thumb in a relationship like the one the girls in the past and I used to have, is mutual respect and fulfilling expectations of both parties. It’s not just about one party getting all the satisfaction, but about both so that it’s mutual, and no one gets hurt. So, if you enjoy looking at my body, I want you to know, I highly enjoy looking at yours too. But it’s not polite to stare…”

“I’m not staring,” I protest.

“…without following it up with something,” Drew tease. “Like this.” His lips are on my stomach and he’s kissing every inch of me there, moving up to the curve of my breast. “Sweetness,” he breathes. “You are as perfect as I pictured you to be. And…you taste so good, all I want for dinner, is you.”

His hand shoots out to run his fingers along the inside of my thighs, while his mouth continues the onslaught of my breasts. With so much sensation going on, I can’t think. I don’t want to think. I can only feel my body responding to his, and we’re entangling ourselves in each other, with each other. “Summer,” Drew groans. “This…this is…” he is shaking and his face is hidden from mine. “I’ve waited so long to feel your skin like this against mine, to kiss you like this, it’s so much more than I could have ever imagined.”

“Better than anything from the Drew Effect?” I tease.

“Much better,” Drew says. “That’s just physical stuff, fun stuff, but this…I’ve cared for you for so long…this is mind-blowing.”

“But we haven’t done ‘it’ yet,” I say. “Not the actual…”

Drew laughs. “That’s where you’re different from anyone else for me,” Drew says. “I’m still waiting for that, for when you decide to give all of you to me, not just the physical.”

“So this is just the physical right now?” I ask.

“The start,” he says. “You want to experience the bad boy in me, well, this is just the start, and before you know it, I’d have you wrap around me so hard, you won’t be able to tear yourself away from me.”

“Cocky huh?” I say.

“You bet,” He kisses me hungrily, his mouth devouring mine and make his way to kiss and lick my breasts again in slow tantalizing flicks with his tongue.

I’m writhing underneath him and arching my back wanting to offer more to him when I hear the front door open and voices in the hallway.

“Summer? Drew?” a familiar voice calls out. “Are you here?”

Nat. He has made it back here, and he is early.

“Maybe they left for dinner already,” says a female voice I’d recognize anywhere. Rachel. “
I
would if I have to wait until what time you told them you’d be here? 10? I’d be starving, too.”

Drew and I looked at each other before jumping up and getting dressed. Hearing Nat’s voice and even Rachel’s brings me back to reality, and I’m suddenly feeling ashamed of being naked with Drew, having gone so far with him already. What would Nat think? Will he think I’m a slut because of what happened between Drew and I or would he get jealous? If I caught Nat doing what I just did with Drew with another girl, I’d be jealous. But then again, that’s just because it’s Nat, and I guess in my mind, Nat will always be mine, even though I have moved on to other guys… since he has pretty much rejected me over and over again.

And Rachel. What must she think? She would kill Drew for even touching me, thinking he’s corrupting me with his bad boy ways. Well, she’ll be right about that, although I’m the one asking Drew to do the corrupting.

I pull on another dress over my head, one that is a light pink lace sheath, and fix my hair.